33. 500ml
-Chirp chirp chirp... Hmmnya... So bright... "Who'sa... turning on the lights while someone's sleepinggg..."
-Chirp chirp chirp "Eagle... shut up..." I plugged my ears with the pillow.
Where the hell does it get this energy in the early morning? The chirping pierces right through the pillow. They say the early bird gets eaten by the worm... just sleep in a little... you noisy loser♥ eagle... you harmful bird... maybe I should catch you and pluck all your feathers...
But wait, are there even birds in Darkness?
"Huh?"
My mind snapped awake, and I bolted upright.
"This isn't my room. Where'd all my stuff go—the fancy furniture from that high-end store IKEA?"
Did they secretly remodel my room while I was asleep? Or did they pick me up like a sack and move me somewhere else while I was out cold? No way—this beautiful, cute Tyranno got kidnapped?
The early morning sunlight streamed through the window, dazzling my eyes. I shaded them with my hand and looked around.
Where'd my fluffy bed and comforter with the cute bear on it go? Was I sleeping on this filthy bed with a huge dried water stain? And I'm buck naked with just a single sheet covering me?
"Naked... and a sheet... Ah. Right. Chae Sua."
Now the jumbled mess in my head started to sort itself out.
Yesterday, I executed the plan to get my whip back from Chae Sua's hands. But things went sideways midway, and I ended up imprisoned in that naughty magical girl's house... Eek!
Memories of last night flooded back, sending chills down my spine.
-I lost so baaaad♥ Please end it quickerrrr♥
-Resend itttt♥ Resend pleeeease♥
-Nnghooooo♥
"Ugh, how could those words come out of my mouth?"
I still couldn't believe it. Me? This Tyranno losing to some third-rate, mangy loser♥ pussy? No way! My opponent was that loser Chae Sua! Maybe it was all a dream? She tried to train me, but a third-rate loser♥ pussy couldn't even handle one of my fingers. So the frustrated magical girl used some evil spell to mess with my memories.
Maybe that thing where I got sucked dry like a thirsty guy on a popsicle—slurp slurp—never actually happened!
"I wish that were true."
It was a super reasonable, totally plausible theory, but sadly, no dice. My body was covered in traces of last night's Chae Sua. My mouth still reeked of fish... bruises all over... Especially that tiny red kiss mark right next to my pubic bone—it looked like a mosquito bite at a glance, but it was undeniable proof.
"Ugh... perverted magical girl..."
Just thinking about Chae Sua still gnawing on my dick from last night gave me the creeps. How can a person have eyes like that and squeeze every last drop of a guy's cum with such vicious methods? Her skill at pushing someone to beg and plead was straight-up torture expert level.
But hey, a loser's a loser.
"No way I'd lose to some third-rate bitch like that lol."
Me? Lose? This me, defeated? By a loser magical girl? Pfft! You think this is some comedy concert? Even if the earth crumbles and the sky falls, there's no way I'd lose to a loser bitch like that. Last night? Psh, I was just going easy on her. Nah~ She was struggling so pathetically and cutely, so this great actor Tyranno put on a Tony-worthy performance like Tony Downey Stark and played along for a bit.
`I came so muuuch♥` or `Make me cum faaast♥`—I matched her just right~ And she got all full of herself~ Fell for my acting hook, line, and sinker♥ Telling me to admit defeat, let's make a baby, all that jazz.
"As if♥ You loser♥"
Hmph! The one who's gonna marry me has to be insanely pretty, with an amazing body, enough cash to buy me 100 Pikachu pork cutlets, and the funds to upgrade NoNoPia's potato server to sweet potato level. So this body didn't actually lose! Sure, it might look like I got wrecked by Chae Sua's merciless milking, but really, I didn't lose—I just acted like I did to make her think I lost! I don't even know what that means... but anyway, I didn't lose!
Reasonable theorizing complete.
"So where the hell is that damn loser Chae Sua?"
She's not in bed, not anywhere in the room—not even a strand of her golden hair.
"Did she go home...?"
Leaving the guy she milked dry all night just abandoned on the bed like this. That's why you can't trust loser magical girls. Of course, it does make it easier for me to move around now.
Sense? Zero. Still, just in case, I grabbed a pillow as a weapon. In movies, they smother people with pillows. If push comes to shove, smash her face with it.
"Sneak out quietly... snag the hoodie real quick..."
Hoodie's near the pants and underwear, so grab those too if I can. Can't wander around with my lower half exposed like some perv. Worst case, grab the hoodie and bolt, pull it down low to look like a long shirt + shorts combo. But I'd rather not.
"No idea where Chae Sua is... so sneak... and yoink the hoodie..."
I tiptoed over, quietly turned the doorknob. It spun smoothly without a sound. I eased the door open to slip out...
-Creak!
"You're awake?"
"Gah! You scared me! Intruder alert, magical girl!"
Chae Sua burst in with the door wide open! I flung the pillow at that annoying magical girl's face in shock.
But she dodged it?
"What the hell right as I open the door. I even brought breakfast for you to eat."
I threw it with full intent to at least knock her out if not kill her, but she dodged leisurely and offered the tray in her hand.
On it: mouthwatering sandwiches and a heap of my favorite mint choco cereal.
Mmm, I am hungry... but I need the hoodie too... stomach's growling... mint choco milk with mint choco cereal, my fave... Lion's probably worried back at Darkness... but that cereal looks so good...
Eh, whatever. Plenty of ghosts die after a good meal. Breakfast first.
Chae Sua set the tray with sandwiches and cereal on the little table in the bedroom.
"Then I'll eat after I put on some clothes."
"Clothes? You'll feel gross putting them on without showering first. I'll grab something for you to throw on."
"Huh?"
Didn't expect this sweet side from her.
"N-no, it's fine. No way. You think I'm gonna let a loser dress me in her loser fashion sense? I'm only wearing my clothes!"
"Come on, don't refuse. I'll get you a decent T-shirt."
"Heh♥ The loser's desperately trying to dress me in her clothes♥ Like you know what to do with the stuff I've worn♥ You're totally gonna do something creepy with it♥"
"Yup. Gonna jerk off with your worn clothes."
"Uh...?"
This is... madness...?
"So behave and stay in bed. No thoughts of escaping with the hoodie."
She grabbed my hand and dragged me back. She knows about the teleport device in the hoodie? H-how? Did I blurt it out last night without thinking?
"Huh?"
Wait, doesn't that mean I'm in real danger now? Can't escape with the teleport device. Nobody knows I'm here—not even Lion. And Chae Sua said she won't let me go till she's pregnant.
"Uhhh?"
Greatest mesugaki crisis ever...?
I put on the T-shirt she gave me and sat at the table. Phew, calm down for now. Calm down and put this genius brain to work. Left brain IP 90. Right brain IP 90. Total 9090 IP—my brain can come up with a perfect plan to overcome this.
There's that old saying, right? Even if a tiger bites you, with just garlic and mugwort, you can marry the mesugaki tiger groom, birth tiger cubs, and rule the mountain where the fox is king because the tiger's gone.
...Or something like that?
"Here, you must be hungry. Eat up."
"U-uh, yeah. Thanks, I'll dig in."
Ignoring a spread like this would be rude, right? I started eating breakfast bit by bit.
"...Not bad for food made by a loser. If you weren't starving, I wouldn't touch it."
The mint choco cereal with mint choco milk is store-bought, so of course it's good—but the sandwich is surprisingly decent. Soft bread, crunchy veggies inside. The sweet-tangy sauce pairs great with the meat.
This body's got refined tastes—won't eat unless it's steak or caviar soup. But after dumping all my concentrated baby batter last night, my body craved nutrients, so I scraped every last crumb and flake clean.
"Thanks for the meal, loser♥"
With food in my belly, I felt better. I leaned back against the chair and patted my full tummy. They say rubbing your belly after eating aids digestion.
"You cleaned your plate. Good boy. Now feed me."
What? I can't even go outside—now she's asking me for food?
"Heh♥ Get your own food♥ I'm going home now♥"
I tried to stand, but Chae Sua's brutish hand clamped my shoulder and shoved me back down.
"Where you going with my rice bowl? Sit. I want my meal."
Your meal's right here? But the cereal and sandwich are all gone.
"Heh♥ Dumb loser♥ Not only stupid, now you're blind too♥ Where's my food, you moron♥"
Instead of answering, Chae Sua's hand gripped between my legs.
"Right here. I only need a glass of milk in the morning. So hurry up and give me 500mL of that thick dick milk."
Wha...?
"I don't need much—just one 500mL glass will do."