The Saintess's First Lie
The Saintess's First Lie
It was unpleasant.
Even if a live insect were crawling around inside my mouth,
it would have been less unpleasant than this — deeply, intensely unpleasant.
Rosaria's expression was twisted. So why did those vermin keep troubling her, utterly oblivious to their place?
It felt like I was going to retch. I wanted to crush those insects beneath my heel and kill them. I wanted to make them understand exactly who it was they were troubling.
But I endured.
Because it was in front of Rosaria.
If I were to show her that side of myself,
she would be sad.
"...Remove your hand, first of all."
A taste like chewing on a gallbladder lingered on the tip of my tongue.
The flame that had ignited in my chest rose up through my throat and reached my head. The lukewarm heat I felt was far from pleasant.
A repulsiveness as if my internal organs were being twisted.
What is this, getting in the way?
How much had I prepared for this day?
I had deliberated carefully to make her happy.
I thought only of what my beloved Rosaria would like, prepared only what Rosaria, a picky eater, would want to eat, and planned a route that wouldn't be hard for Rosaria, whose mobility was poor.
I thought it would be a day filled with happiness,
and today of all days, I wanted to win her over.
I had lived waiting for this day with firm resolve.
So I came at her aggressively, enduring a measure of embarrassment. I expressed my love to the point I worried it might be discourteous to her.
Even her earlobes flushed red, her cheeks brightened — the way Rosaria told me to stop but didn't refuse.
I thought it would be a perfect day.
But it was thrown off course by those vermin.
The corners of her lips, which should only have held a smile, twisted.
The heart that should have felt only happiness was now clouded with displeasure.
Darkness fell across the face that should only have carried brightness.
How many sins had they committed?
They had blasphemed her.
They had defiled her,
they had tormented her.
They had hurt her and
had trampled upon her happiness.
Was there any reason to leave them alive?
But I endured.
Because Rosaria would not wish for it.
Her kindness, it seemed, would spare those insolent wretches.
"You go too far with your words."
That was, until that vermin's expression soured.
"...Remove your hand, I said."
I did not raise my voice.
Because I disliked the disgrace of being ruled by emotion.
I endured with the heart of a saint who bears the agony of being torn limb from limb.
And so, for the moment, I did not use my divine power.
"The young lady I'm speaking to is this..."
I gave them two chances.
The first was from Rosaria.
The second was from the precepts of the Sacred Scripture.
But because the Sacred Scripture held no third chance,
the Saintess endured no longer.
Canaria stared at the insects with eyes from which focus had vanished.
"Hands off, I said."
I forced the behavior of that insect, carrying the command in the Word Spirit of the chief god.
"Wha... what is..."
The man's body would not obey him.
Immediately, he tore his hand away from Rosaria's.
"And now you must wash your vile sins away with that worthless dirty blood of yours, so plant your useless head upon the ground and beg forgiveness."
The chief god's Word Spirit, which bestowed compulsion.
Punishment meant to chastise a sinner began to be applied to the man before me.
The man collapsed to his knees.
Then, while saying he was sorry to Rosaria, he began to slam his head into the ground again and again. His skull started striking the stone floor. The revolting sound of a cranium fracturing rang in my ears.
"...Please, close your eyes and cover your ears, Rosaria."
Because she must not be made to feel any more displeasure.
So that she could not see anything dirty, I covered her eyes with the scarf she had been wearing, and so that no disgusting sound would ring in her ears, I covered them with my hands.
Then I moved my body in front of Rosaria.
"That's a little quiet."
It was just as the Saintess said this and was about to trample the head of the sinner prostrating himself in apology.
They said even a cornered rat will bite a cat, did they not?
His companions, their reason lost to excessive fear, dared to try and swing their fists at the Saintess before them.
The Saintess, too, was aware of it.
But she made no move to stop them.
Rather, she stood still, as if wishing for it to reach her.
But it didn't reach her.
The moment he swung, his wrist broke, snapped in a grotesque direction.
And the broken part, though it was the arm of a living man, began to rot.
He who attempts to harm the Saint shall receive heavenly punishment.
"...Know your place."
Because he had dared to try and harm the Saintess,
the chief god's heavenly punishment was visited upon the man.
A disease of rotting alive spread throughout his body.
The man began to tremble in terror, moaning in pain.
I could at least see him kneeling and begging.
But I couldn't hear what he was babbling.
There was no need to listen even to the sounds of beasts who had failed to become human.
"Now, get out of my sight."
With those words, I drove those vermin outside.
There was no room for any problem to arise.
Because from the moment they stepped outside this Barrier, their memories would be manipulated.
They would not know what happened here, or who they met.
They would simply die knowing nothing.
Was that not a miserable end befitting a sinner?
A treatment suited to that arrogance that had sought to reach the heavens.
Of course, it wouldn't end with just that.
For God's punishment was exceedingly heavy.
The people of the city of sin had become pillars of salt, the nation that oppressed the Saint had collapsed from ten plagues, and all the fools who did not believe the apostle and boarded not the ark were erased by the flood.
Their sins would not end with merely their deaths.
The price would be paid with the ruin of their houses.
...Just then, a weight suddenly settled against my back.
I felt the sensation of arms wrapping around my waist.
And most of all, I heard a voice crying out as if entreating me.
"...Rosaria?"
Canaria. The reason for her life, her eternal love, the guidepost that had led her, the benefactor who had given her an unrepayable debt, perhaps an existence that was more than all of that.
That Rosaria was shedding tears.
"...Why are you crying?"
Rosaria could not answer.
She simply called my name aimlessly, shedding only tears.
"Please... please stop, Canaria."
As I thought, you are far too kind.
You were like that back then, and are you still acting like a fool even now?
With that frail body that even has trouble standing up, you were worrying about me again.
Afraid I might stray down the wrong path, you were holding me back again.
"...Rosaria, why is it you who is crying?"
The Saintess asked the reason.
"...Lady Saintess, no, it's that you must not become a murderer, Canaria."
As expected, the reason was the Saintess.
Rosaria was crying for her.
Afraid that she would become a sinner, Rosaria had raised her frail body and, with all her strength, had been stopping the Saintess from acting.
"The Saintess does not become a sinner over something of this extent, Rosaria."
"...I don't want to see Canaria hurting, either."
"I also do not want to see Rosaria being tormented. I am not so magnanimous and easygoing a fool as to stand idly by watching you wear such an expression on a day when you should only be happy."
Happiness for an entire lifetime would still not be enough for Rosaria.
Therefore, she must not be pained for even a single second.
"...When Canaria acts like that, it's painful. Seeing a Canaria who isn't the one I knew makes me sad, I tell you. So please, don't be like that. Come back to me as the gentle Saintess, Canaria."
Rosaria's entreaty,
it was, for Canaria, a divine command she could not refuse.
"...If you say so, Rosaria, I shall do so. So please, take away those tears. For I shall return to the Canaria you know. So please, smile. My love, Rosaria."
Canaria took Rosaria's delicately trembling hand.
She then lightly purified the hand and pressed a kiss to it.
"...I'm sorry. I've shown you something disgraceful."
The Saintess answered with a small smile.
"...No, it's not that. You came back, so I am relieved for that alone."
Was it thanks to her thoughts and the situation finally settling?
Exhaling roughly, Rosaria answered with formal speech.
She had a frail body that needed assistance even for walking.
Simply raising that body to stop someone had been enough to deplete her stamina completely.
And so she slumped down into her wheelchair.
"...Rosaria."
I called to Rosaria, who was catching her breath and calming down.
"...What does Rosaria think of me, now?"
It was right after I had shown disgrace.
Would she despise me? Or, despite that, would she love me?
How did I appear in Rosaria's eyes right now?
I was curious.
The human desire for the forbidden.
An instinct carved in since the era when we were cast out of Paradise for coveting the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
It dominated the Saintess, and in the end, it came out of my mouth.
"...I love you."
She hesitated. Only for a very brief moment, but another emotion was there.
At that, it felt as if my heart were being torn apart.
So I asked for her forgiveness in advance.
Apologizing for cowardly running away.
Because from the moment she stepped outside this Barrier, her memories would be manipulated.
She would not know what happened here, or who she met.
...Rosaria was no exception.
"I'm sorry, Rosaria."
I have told you my first lie.
*
...I nodded off without realizing it.
Had post-meal drowsiness hit me?
For some reason, I had briefly fallen asleep without even knowing it.
But sleeping soundly in the middle of a date was not proper etiquette.
Drawing upon superhuman focus, I opened my eyes in five minutes.
Then I casually acted as if nothing had happened.
"Did you sleep well, Rosaria?"
But naturally, I was caught.
Because the Saintess was not such a fool as to fail to notice something like that.
"...Yes, I slept well, Lady Serena."
I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment.
What am I, a kindergartener, taking a nap just because I ate something?
I hid my face, flushed bright red, in both hands.
Lacking the courage to look up at the sky from shame, understanding the heart of the wandering poet Kim Satgat five hundred times over, I begged the Saintess for forgiveness.
"...I'm sorry."
It felt as though I had committed an unforgivable sin.
"Not at all. You looked like an angel even when sleeping."
And yet, the merciful Saintess forgave me.
"Rather, it was my mistake for not considering that you might be tired, Rosaria. So you really don't need to feel so burdened. There is no way I would wish to drag a tired Rosaria here and there. If you're tired, Rosaria, we can rest for as many hours as you need."
...If only she hadn't answered with that faint, fishy smile.
"...I'm fine now, Lady Serena. I feel so refreshed I could fly."
I forced a smile and answered awkwardly.
It was because the embarrassment wouldn't leave me,
and, just as expected, the Saintess seemed to like even that about me.
"...Then, since I've found another place, let's go there, Rosaria."
The Saintess answered with a benevolent smile.
But the moment I heard those words, a sense of déjà vu came over me.
...What is this? Why is it familiar?
They were words I had no memory of hearing before,
but strangely, they felt very familiar.
However, I didn't think deeply about it.
...Did her mental illness rub off on me since we've been going around together?
Thinking it was nothing, I just let it slide.