Let's Go Find the E-Cup College Girl

The masturbation-addicted college girl is located one kilometer away. Normally I could sprint the whole way and arrive in no time, but since I have to move quietly now, it will take at least ten times longer. Fighting, traveling, returning—everything combined could easily multiply the time by more than ten. I needed to find a safe route. Still, my decision to go was final. I couldn't even see a photo of her. I was fucking dying to know what this chronic masturbator looked like. My head was already spinning with every filthy fantasy imaginable. Of course, I had to reach her safely before I could lay eyes on her.

I activated the Minimap and opened the monster tab. This time, instead of plain data, it displayed a colorful game-style map dotted with markers. Green for zombies, and these… goblins? Fuck, so it wasn't purely a zombie apocalypse. It was a full monster apocalypse. Orcs and trolls would probably start popping up later.

Zombies were just cannon fodder for swelling numbers and early slaughter. Since the monsters weren't spreading through infection but being summoned from somewhere, I didn't have to worry about running out of prey. Green, yellow, orange, red. 'The colors must represent difficulty tiers?'

Even if I was confident in a fight and slightly ahead of everyone else right now, a blind swing could still kill me. If other people had awakened abilities too, some of them might possess absolutely insane powers. Since I had no idea when or how I might die, I'd keep living exactly as I always had—doing whatever the fuck I wanted. I decide what I desire, then pour everything into making it reality.

Therefore, my first objective was the masturbation-addicted college girl. I'd empty the sexual frustration that had piled up for an entire year, then take my time thinking about the future. Along the way to the suburbs, I'd hunt zombies, level up, push my stamina to 10, and claim that first-clear reward.

I stuffed food into the shabby bag lying around the tofu shop and moved out. Keeping the Minimap fixed in the corner of my vision, I detoured around every zombie I could.

Kyaaaack! Kuaaaack—

Any zombies I met on the road looked like they were suffering, so I helped them rest. Go to a better place, you dumb fucks. The world is already hell, so the place you're headed might actually be heaven.

I'd been swinging my claw hammer while lost in pointless thoughts, and at some point the level-up alerts had stacked twice. I immediately poured points into stamina until it reached 10.

Hmm. Nothing happened? As expected. There was no way the first-clear reward would still be available. The military had guns and trained personnel; special forces veterans were probably already sweeping through this shit. No way a mere thug like me would snatch it first.

The first-clear reward. If ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my guess was correct, there was one method. And the place I was heading to was also the key. I really hope it works out the way I think.

I continued toward my destination. Along the way I found an intact car, picked the lock, and tried to start it. Hotwiring without a key wasn't a Status Window skill—it was my genuine passive ability learned from years of thug life.

After quickly silencing the alarm, I stopped and scanned the area. If zombies were present I hunted them; if not, I continued. Since I was checking the map in real time, I wasn't overly worried.

I needed to see whether the engine would start. That single fact would decide my future movements. When I turned on the phone I received after being released, there was no signal, so I'd already guessed. Shorting the wires produced a crackling noise, but the distinctive rumbling roar of an engine never came. The same thing happened with every car I tried.

Among subculture works there are zombie apocalypse comics, but there's also a genre where all modern machinery suddenly stops functioning. This was identical. Cars won't start. Electricity is still on. Phones power up but can't connect. Car alarms and horns still work. That means backup batteries are functional. Are only the internal combustion engines broken?

I suspected guns wouldn't work either. There were many things I still needed to verify—TVs, radios—but right now I focused on my goal.

After walking roughly thirty minutes, I reached the target location. A gas station.

Every time I refueled my car I used to have the same stupid thought: if I lit a cigarette here and the vapor mixed with gasoline, would it explode? Today I was finally going to find out.

'This is gonna be fucking fun. Hehehe.'

The reward should be sweet, too. I entered the gas station and began preparations for the blast. I tested the pump and, fortunately, it worked normally. If even this had failed, I would have been certain every modern device was dead. I have no idea what principle allows it to function. Maybe the author of this world is a huge fan of the "Do-Whatever-The-Fuck-You-Want Fruit." Fine by me.

I turned the station floor into an ocean of fuel, spraying from a distance so none would splash onto my body. Then I crafted a Molotov using a soju bottle from the tofu shop.

As expected, for a proper mass slaughter I needed to lure every nearby zombie. I triggered the alarms on roughly ten vehicles parked near the station.

Preparation complete. I hid and observed. Kyaaaack! Kuaaaack— Kyaaaaaaaaaack—

Whoa. They were swarming like a pack of wild dogs. Their eyes had a cloudy gray film, like advanced cataracts—vision partially blocked. I'd have to travel at night from now on. They also reacted violently to sound. Another crucial piece of information. I filed it away.

When enough zombies had gathered, from the farthest distance I could throw, I shouted.

It was a moment that called for silence, but if I didn't yell the line this perfect scene would lose its flavor. I hurled the bottle and sprinted as far as possible, using cover and zigzagging erratically. I refused to die a pathetic death from something hitting me in the back.

Whoosh—

Contrary to expectation, it didn't explode instantly. Still, I could feel the heat of flames rising behind me. My back already burned like midday summer sun.

Then, suddenly—

I thought I'd run far enough, yet the blast wave still scorched my face. I dropped behind cover and stayed low until the explosions finally died down. Damn, it lasted a long time. I couldn't watch it with my own eyes. It was supposed to be fucking fun, but not seeing the spectacle left me disappointed.

At that moment a Status Window blocked my vision.

The notifications that once flooded my sight now summarized themselves after I mentally commanded them to stop showing every single kill. Kind or annoying? Hard to tell. I opened my status to check, but nothing had changed. The locked skill that was supposedly strengthened showed no difference. Fuck. So what was the exact condition? No idea.

Still, the level-ups were decent. I had eight bonus points. I'm not particularly smart, so I don't fully understand the system yet. Smarter people would have already figured out the exact leveling criteria. I killed roughly three hundred and gained four levels. It was clearly slower than my first hunts, so at least I learned that leveling gets harder the higher you climb. Anything beyond that made my head hurt.

This part was crucial. I could raise intelligence and try for the first-clear reward, but the first person to max stamina had already taken that bonus. Intelligence was probably the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠same. Even the mass slaughter only counted as "first come, first served," not a true first-clear. I'd invested heavily in physical stats—strength, agility, stamina. Raising magic or intelligence now would turn me into a trash hybrid build. My brain could at least calculate that much.

I put three points into strength and three into agility, saving the last two. Stamina didn't feel lacking yet. Compared to the beginning I tired much more slowly.

Ten had been a clean, satisfying number. Now it felt slightly off again. I shook my head hard to clear the useless thought. That wasn't important right now.

The loud noise had drawn a second wave of zombies. I advanced, smashing the heads of any group I could handle with my claw hammer. Far more zombies than the first wave meant I spent a lot of time hiding.

Hoo—

After maintaining peak tension for about thirty minutes, I felt my stamina nearing its limit. Should I invest in stamina after all? I rested briefly and considered it. To assess the current situation I opened the Minimap. A clear path without monsters appeared.

This ability was genuinely useful. I moved along the safe route while checking her status. And there it was—our masturbation-addicted college girl's information had changed.

It had shifted from "unaware of current situation" to "aware." Yet the strange part was that she was still masturbating. This was a truly serious addict. Two hours had passed since I last checked her and she was still going. Or maybe she finished once, checked the situation, then started again. I was curious what happened during the time I spent blowing up the gas station.

When I meet her I'll ask. But this selfish bitch—while zombies are rampaging and people are dying, she's just enjoying herself alone. I suddenly wanted to rush over and "help" her. I was also extremely curious what she looked like. Did she usually masturbate on a schedule, or was this a continuous two-hour session? I had a mountain of questions.

Let's hurry. Our selfish, seriously masturbation-addicted college girl is waiting.

Boom—

I quickened my pace. Behind me the flames still hadn't died and chain explosions continued. Fucking cool. I could finally see the scene, but the important thing came later. Next time I find a gas station I'll ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠rig up a speaker or something to make the explosion even louder. By then my strength will be higher, so I can trigger it from farther away. Maybe I'll actually get to watch the blast.