Convenience Store Yerim (4) — Exhaustion

"Jung Haeseo…"

A chill crawled up his spine as if she might burst out from behind him at any second. He fled the alley like a man running for his life.

Where arousal had soaked him before, cold sweat drenched him now. For reasons of his own, Hanbyul was terrified of Jung Haeseo to an extreme degree.

"I… I just need to get home…"

He gasped for breath as he hurried toward the house. Anyone who saw him would have been alarmed by how deathly pale he looked.

As if to prove it, a girl with pure white hair that swayed with every step called out to him.

"Papang! What's wrong…? Are you okay?"

It was Iseul — somehow here instead of at school, even though the semester had already started.

Why is Iseul here…?

The question barely formed before her worried face was already scanning him from head to toe. His clothes were damp for some reason, his complexion was blue, and he was trembling hard even though it wasn't that cold outside.

Her dad's body was cold as ice.

"Dad, what's going on? Did something happen?"

It had been a while since he'd seen Iseul. Not wanting to frighten the girl who was like a daughter to him, he lied.

"No, it's nothing. I'm fine, really…"

"Don't lie to me!!!"

Iseul, who never raised her voice except when she was joking around, screamed so hard the veins stood out on her neck. Tears welled in her eyes. Both fists were clenched tight.

"You did the same thing on the trip!!! You brushed it off like you'd just fallen and then walked away… Something happened then too, and you just let it go without saying a word."

"Iseul…"

Everything he'd done for her sake seemed only to have hurt her instead.

"Don't you trust me? Do I look that useless to you?! I can take care of myself now! I can protect people, and I can think about them too!!! So why are you like this?! Do you hate me?!"

Anyone could see how serious things were, and the way her dad refused to let her in on any of it filled her with a mix of guilt and rising anger.

"N-no… that's not…"

He couldn't even finish the sentence before he crumpled and collapsed. His body had finally hit its limit. He had been milked without rest since the day before, and on top of that he had just run into the one person who could trigger his trauma. Physically and mentally, there was nothing left of him.

"Dad!!!!"

Iseul's single scream was the last thing he heard as he went down.

"Hic… hhkk…"

The sound of crying mixed with the sound of water. The soft splash of it called to mind a hidden spring deep in the woods.

There wasn't a scrap of strength left in his body, but he dragged up what little he had and forced his eyes open.

An unfamiliar ceiling. An unfamiliar room. And unfamiliar hair.

Jiwoo? Jia…?

It was neither of them. Pure white hair, nothing like deep black — that soft, lovely hair trembled faintly before him.

Why are you crying?

He wanted to say it, but no voice came out. He wanted to say anything at all, to comfort the girl in front of him, to put her at ease — and he couldn't do a single thing.

Haaah… haaah…

A thin, labored wind leaked from a throat so dry it might as well have been dead. Maybe she heard that faint sound. The girl wringing out a towel in the washbasin — Iseul — lifted her ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠head.

"Dad… Dad, you're awake? I'm sorry… I'm really, really sorry… It was my fault. Please don't leave again… I won't ever do it again, I swear. Please just don't leave me again!!! Please… please…"

The basin tipped over and spilled across the floor, but she didn't even notice as she threw herself at him.

What on earth had made Iseul this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠heartbroken?

Dad isn't going anywhere, Iseul… Stop crying…

He wanted to say it, but his voice still wouldn't come, so he forced what strength he had into his hand and stroked her hair.

Pat… pat…

It was hard. Even twitching a single finger was hard… but under the name of "Dad," he comforted her anyway.

Even if this "Dad" was nothing more than an illusion he had created. Even if he was only using Iseul's pain.

She must have been nursing this selfish, pathetic version of him for quite some time. Before long his lips were cracking dry, and a crushing drowsiness rolled over him.

It felt like dying. No — he was starting to wonder if this simply was death.

Honestly, he didn't know what was what anymore. The more he thought, the more meaningless and exhausting it all became.

Is this how I die…?

He had wanted to tell his wife and his daughter that he liked them, that he loved them, before he went. Thinking this might be the end filled him with nothing but regret.

I'm sorry, Iseul.

And once more, he threw his body into death. The strength drained out of him, and the hand that had been resting on Iseul's hair slid helplessly down — down like a wave on the river of fate, with nothing to hold it.

It hit the bed with a soft thud.

Iseul's face flooded with despair in an instant.

"Daaad!!! Daaad… waaah… waaaaaah…"

She sank to the floor like a little child, scrubbing with both hands at tears that would not stop.

And then someone came bursting into the house in a panic.

"Iseul!!! What's going on!!!"

It was Iseul's mother, Baek Jiwoo. She must have been in the middle of work — she still had her apron on, and she hadn't even taken off her shoes as she rushed into the room.

The first thing she saw was Iseul crying. In front of her lay Hanbyul with his eyes closed.

She ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠could roughly guess what had happened. Still, just to be sure, she stepped closer, checked his pulse, and held a hand under his nose to feel for breath.

"Haa…"

Thank god. Truly, thank god. He was only sleeping — worn out beyond measure.

For whatever reason, Iseul had thought Hanbyul was dead and broken down crying. Jiwoo understood that feeling completely. The pain of being separated from her father all over again — of course that would terrify her daughter.

"Iseul… Dad isn't dead… He's just sleeping right now. Look…"

She guided Iseul's hand up under Hanbyul's nose.

"Hic… hic… nnngh…"

Iseul felt it too — the faint but living breath.

"Waaaaaah… Mom… I thought he was dying…"

"There, there… Stay with Hanbyul until he wakes up. I'll call Jia or Jia's mother later. Mom has to get back to work."

She had only managed to steal the bare minimum of time, so Jiwoo hurried back toward the restaurant. Her heart had dropped into her stomach. She was just grateful it hadn't been the nightmare scenario she'd been imagining.

"Nnnh…"

When he sat up in a bed thick with the scent of lavender, the first thing he saw was Iseul asleep beside him, both eyes swollen puffy from crying.

He stared blankly for a moment, trying to make sense of the situation, then the path of events clicked into place.

Ah. I collapsed…

Only then did the pieces connect, and with them the realization of how much trouble he had caused. They hadn't seen each other in so long, and all he'd done was worry her. He felt nothing but sorry.

"Nnnhmm…"

Sensing movement, Iseul rubbed her swollen eyes and turned toward him.

"Iseul, go back to sleep."

Caught between guilt and a swell of fondness, he offered his arm as a pillow and let her rest. She was supposed to be at school — and because of him, she hadn't been able to do something that important.

"Daaad… don't throw me away…"

She was taller than Hanbyul, yet she curled up like a little kid and burrowed into his chest. The way she wriggled in was pure child.

"Dad would never throw Iseul away. So sleep tight…"

He pulled her close and stroked her hair. Soft and fluffy like a puppy, with that sweet lavender scent — he was just starting to settle again when—

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!!! BOOM!!!

Violent movement thundered from the front door, and in the next instant a young woman flung the bedroom door open.

"Daaad!!!!"

It was Hanbyul's other daughter, Jia.

"J-Jia…!"

To any third party walking in cold, it would have looked like they'd been caught in the act. A man and a girl tangled up under the covers, holding each other — no amount of explaining would have been enough…

"Daaad… how could you… hic…"

Iseul's sleep-talking lit the fuse.

"What the hell are you doing right now!!!!!!!!"

The front door hadn't even finished closing before Jia bellowed at the top of her lungs. The whole floor must have heard her.

"So that's what happened?"

"Okay. If Unnie says so."

"Come on~ Why would you even worry about that, Unnie! Don't worry."

"Yes, Unnie. Head on in~"

Jia hung up with Iseul's mother.

"So it really is true."

"I-it is… Jia…"

"Yeah… it's true…"

Jia sat cross-legged with both arms folded tight. In front of her, the two of them were on their knees, watching her face for cues.

"Fine. Unnie said so too, so I'll believe you."

Only then did she let the tension out of her body and flop onto the floor. The two daughters looked down at Hanbyul with complicated eyes. When Iseul had found him, his body had been so cold they'd thought he had hypothermia.

"This won't do. Dad, you need to rest."

"Yeah. Papang! While you're at it, get cleaned up too!"

They locked eyes once, then bustled into motion. He had no idea what they were planning… but they looked far too busy for him to insert himself into anything.

He could ask about the reason later. While Jia had been on the phone, a text had come in, so he checked it — assuming it was from his wife, since Jia must have spoken to Jiwoo.

Huh…?

The sender wasn't his wife.

Yerim, out of nowhere, asking him to call. The "1" on the notification had barely disappeared before the phone rang.

Jia and Iseul were too busy to hear the ringtone. Hanbyul slipped into the room and carefully answered.

"H-hello…?"

"Oppa, did you get home okay?"

"Y-yeah…"

The gentle way she spoke only made his skin crawl.

"Come play again tomorrow."

"Ah… tomorrow might be hard."

"Oh, really? Gonna use me once like last time and throw me away again?"

Her voice went cold.

"No, that's not—"

"Check your messages."

He looked at his phone to see what she meant.

"I just sent it. Something real fun."

It was a video — somehow filmed — of the traces of what he and Yerim had done in the storage room. Edited down to exactly one minute.

"Seo Yerim…!"

"I bet your wife would just love this, right?"

"You said there were no cameras."

"I said there was no CCTV. Did I say there were no hidden cams? I'll take that as you coming tomorrow, Oppa~♡"

"Kh…"

"Have a nice time, then♡ O.ppa."

His face went blank. He slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor.

Why does this keep happening to me.

All the happiness he'd had felt meaningless as dark clouds kept rolling in over his life. He knew he was at fault, but more and more he just wanted to cut everything off.

"Hic… hic… please… just stop…"

He hugged his knees and cried without a sound.

Without even realizing it, he was wearing himself down all over again.