The Past of Lee Sa-rang (2)
That night, I listened to everything that had ever happened to her.
The life she had lived. The pain she had endured. The wrongs she had committed. All of it.
What was I supposed to call this feeling? Pity? Sympathy? Or was it simply disgust? I couldn't pin it to any one word. All I knew was the bitterness spreading across my tongue — resentful and pitiable and repulsive, all at once.
She couldn't even meet my eyes. Maybe she had read something in them.
"I'm filthy, aren't I? I understand if you look at me like that."
"And how exactly am I looking at you?"
"Like I'm a rag, right? Or a whore. It's true. I am a rag. I am a whore."
"So what's your point? You want me to comfort you or something?"
"..."
What she wanted from me was probably some warm, gentle consolation. I didn't give it to her. What she needed right now wasn't a shoulder to cry on. She needed someone who could take care of Jeong Man-sik. She could weep all she wanted after that bastard was dealt with. It wouldn't be too late.
"Get a grip, Lee Sa-rang. You think curling up like that is going to solve anything?"
"That's not—"
"Sure, a little comfort might make you feel better. But is that son of a bitch Jeong Man-sik just going to let this slide if you do?"
"I just want to rest. I'm sick of lying to people. I'm tired of pretending to be confident. Tired of acting like some classy, sophisticated woman."
"Bullshit."
"..."
"Don't give me that shit, Lee Sa-rang. You don't get to do this. You owe it to Lee Suk-hee not to do this."
Poor Lee Suk-hee, who had clawed her way through the hell that was Gusan City so that the flower named Lee Sa-rang could bloom in all its brilliance. Lee Sa-rang could not be allowed to collapse like this. Not when she owed that much to the wretched girl she used to be.
Yeah. That was it. I felt pity for the miserable life of that woman called Lee Suk-hee — and I felt disgust toward the woman called Lee Sa-rang who was crumbling in front of me.
"What, you think you've been through something so special that you get to play the tragic heroine? Get your head on straight, Lee Sa-rang."
"It's hard."
"Hard? The one who had it hard was Lee Suk-hee, rotting in that hell. Not you. Am I wrong?"
"...I can't do this anymore."
"Can't do what? Everyone lives like this. Everyone's got a secret. Everyone puts on an act that nobody else can see."
"I'm just going to rest now."
"What, are you planning to die?"
"..."
She didn't answer. Which meant she probably was. If Lee Suk-hee's life came to light, the person called Lee Sa-rang would die anyway. She'd have to go back to that hell. So it wasn't strange that she'd be thinking those kinds of thoughts.
Not happening. Now that she's in my hands, I am not letting her die however she wants.
But there was one thing she had failed to understand. She no longer had the right to die as she pleased. Lee Sa-rang had sworn herself to me. She was my property, plain and simple. Whether her past was that of a rag or a whore didn't matter to me in the slightest.
I grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her up from where she'd been curling into herself.
"Don't get the wrong idea, Lee Sa-rang. You think I'm going to let you do whatever you want?"
"Please don't... I really— mmph."
Our tongues tangled together, thick and wet.
She's made a bit of money and now she's throwing a tantrum.
What this woman was doing right now was nothing more than a full-bellied sulk. Sitting on a sofa worth tens of thousands of dollars in this luxury villa, thinking about dying... If the Lee Suk-hee who once walked through hell could see this, she would laugh herself sick.
You endured that hell for this? You threw yourself away for this? If you were going to abandon that girl, you should have clung on the way she used to. Why the hell would you die?
"Don't get the wrong idea. You don't get to die just because you feel like it."
"I'm not in the mood for this..."
"Mood? Seems like you've forgotten what you are."
She wasn't a person. She was a toilet. A private, dedicated meat toilet that felt joy only from my cock and found pleasure only in my waste. What mattered to her wasn't her own mood. What mattered was how hard I was.
Complete, absolute bondage. Even if I fell in love with another woman. Even if I vanished from this world. She would have to look only at me. Only at me — thinking only of my cock.
"I'm a rag with no value as a woman. A whore who spread her legs for any man who— ahh!"
"None of that matters."
Rag or not, I didn't care at all. I wasn't exactly a prize myself. If a woman of her caliber was willing to love me, I had no reason to refuse. A rag? A whore? If anything, that part turned me on even more.
Which means that out of every man she's ever had, I'm the best, right?
The finest cock to ever pass through her cunt. The greatest man — the one who could make even Gusan City's finest whore lose her mind. The subtle cocktail of feelings that title stirred in me filled me with a rather considerable sense of superiority.
"Remember this. You're mine forever."
I stripped the panties off her with rough hands. She flushed as if she were shy and melted into my arms — as if it were her first time. Like a bashful young girl who could climax from nothing more than a hand closing around her breast.
"O-Oppa... it's my first time, so be gentle..."
She knew it wasn't her first time. So did I. That voice probably didn't belong to the actress Lee Sa-rang. It belonged to the Lee Suk-hee of long ago — the innocent Lee Suk-hee from before she met Kim Min-hee at that playground.
She wanted to go back. She wanted to feel what that girl had never gotten to feel. Not selling her first time for money, but the sweetness of a first experience that made your heart race.
"I love you, Lee Suk-hee."
"Thank you... thank you, Oppa... hh—"
I licked away the tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. Lee Suk-hee trembled as if she were frightened, but she spread her legs all the same. I played along with her little performance and took her first time, over and over again.
And so Lee Sa-rang... no. The Lee Suk-hee of her childhood fell asleep in my arms, more peacefully than she had in years. Free at last from the nightmares that had tormented her for so long. A sleep that was deep, and easy, and sweet.
From that day on, whenever we were alone, Lee Sa-rang stopped being the actress Lee Sa-rang and started acting like the Lee Suk-hee of those old days.
"Oppa... did you sleep well?"
She asked it shyly, nestled in my arms. Looking at her like that, I found I couldn't quite treat her as nothing more than a meat toilet anymore.
Since when does a meat toilet look that adorable?
If she had just been arrogant and nothing else, I would have fucked her without a second thought. But handling Lee Suk-hee roughly instead of Lee Sa-rang... even a bastard like me felt something off about that. Of course, the promise that she could never leave me was still very much in effect.
"Oppa... Jeong Man-sik is scarier than I thought."
"Don't worry about it. I'll handle him."
"Still, I can't help being worried..."
"It's really fine. So just relax and rest for a while. As soon as this is settled, I'll have you transferred to our Team 3."
"Really?! You'll really do that?"
Her face lit up in an instant. Apparently she was happier about moving to JS Team 3 than she was about me dealing with Jeong Man-sik's blackmail.
This feels pretty good, actually.
Same with Si-a noona. Same with President Lee Ji-hye. Being loved by someone with no conditions attached was an incredibly pleasant feeling. And a woman that beautiful was this happy just because she might get to spend a little more time with me... I'd have to be insane not to feel good about that.
Just you wait, Man-sik.
His crime wasn't simply that he had picked on someone weak. I wasn't some sweet guy who lost sleep over that kind of thing. Whether he blackmailed people or raped them was none of my business. The reason I was this angry was simple. He had touched what was mine. He had dared to shake up my peaceful daily life and get in the way of JS Entertainment just as we were about to take the next step. That was what pissed me off.
"First things first. Time to meet with Secretary Kim."
If that coward was strutting around this boldly, he definitely had someone backing him. I met with Secretary Kim, who knew this industry inside and out, and learned that Im Minseok was the one crouched behind Director Jeong. Then I sat down with Representative Kim Gil-gang — a man I'd worked with on several jobs in the past — and struck a deal.
He would arrange a quiet meeting with Jeong Man-sik. In exchange, I would take care of Ju Hye-ryeong on the day Lovely Lady aired its finale.
A "quiet meeting" was putting it nicely. Strictly speaking, it was a kidnapping. In my previous life I had played the role of a cleaner, sure. But I had never actually done anything as rough as a kidnapping myself, which was why I left it to Kim Gil-gang, a man who specialized in that sort of work.
"Ah, Chief Kim. Our side is all set. Thinking of doing the job tonight..."
As you can see, Kim Gil-gang was a specialist when it came to this kind of thing.
Yeah. This is exactly why you leave this stuff to the professionals.
It had been barely a day since I'd met with him, and he had already finished every preparation and was calling for permission to proceed.
"As expected of you, Representative Kim. Getting ready this fast... I'm grateful."
"What's all this over something so simple? How about it? Want me to send a car to the company?"
"No need. Why leave unnecessary traces?"
"Alright then. Let's meet at Gyecheon Port by ten."
I'd felt it even in my previous life — that man really loved Gyecheon Port.
To be fair, it's a damn good place to do something ugly.
Through the taxi window, Gyecheon Port sat in total darkness, every light snuffed out. Shipping containers stacked so high they seemed to have no end, like a drug-trafficking scene lifted straight out of a noir film. The reason Kim Gil-gang loved this place was probably that it reeked of exactly that — something secluded, something foul.
"A person could die out here and nobody would ever know."
A shadowy port so isolated that a body could vanish without a trace — the kind of place a human butcher like Kim Gil-gang would adore. And for some reason, tonight, the dangerously perilous scent drifting off that harbor smelled remarkably sweet.