The Actress Kim Si-a (4)
I stared at Kim Gyeong-tae, that bastard, and wondered how I should cook him.
Should I just send a tip right now and blow up the article?
Or should I report it to the agency and file a formal complaint?
No... that wouldn't be fun at all. Then he'd probably just apologize half-heartedly and get a pay cut.
Or worse, I'd be the only one looking like an idiot.
That was too boring.
If I wanted to squeeze even a single tear from my actor's eyes, I needed to make it at least bloody tears for the deal to mean anything.
Social punishment.
Yeah, that was the way to go...
Even if it took time, I had to end it completely so my heart would finally feel at ease.
The problem was I had to suck up to that director right now to make it happen.
Why...? After losing weight and living like a normal person, do I feel my pride is hurt?
I wanted to live righteously... I wanted to live without being spineless...
That was so cool. The resolve of a regressor... it was so damn cool!
But to keep that, did I really have to leave that bastard alone?
Bullshit... that guy would never amount to anything anyway.
Ugly looks, low self-esteem, yet a pride that was somehow still high.
No matter how many times I regressed, made resolutions, and fixed my appearance, changing the bad personality from my previous life was never easy.
My twisted, ruined personality had always been that way, so I probably needed to take revenge on that bastard to feel better inside.
Damn... stay calm. If I kept going like this, the filming would resume and I'd end up punching him.
I honestly couldn't understand why I was this angry.
From the moment I saw Si-a's tears, I couldn't hold back the boiling rage.
I wandered in front of Kim's director's waiting room for a long time, steeling my heart.
Sigh... okay! Let's go in. I'll suck him dry so thoroughly! That's why I brought this booze.
From the beginning, I had decided to do exactly that when I came in front of this door.
Otherwise, there was no reason I would have brought this bottle of wine.
Sigh... Director Kim~
-Click.
After taking a deep breath, I opened the door to the waiting room where Kim was resting,
and the guy with a sullen expression didn't even want to listen, so he immediately started shouting.
Hey! JS! Are you guys' actors crazy? They say one word and you all leave the set?
His expression and voice were the worst kind of smug.
I kept thinking about punching that ugly face of his, but I endured to the end, forcing a smile on my face, and bowed my head to him.
Aigoo~ Director! Please look at her just this once... our actor is having a bit of a stomachache today.
Heh heh, crazy... I never liked that Kim Si-a brat throwing her weight around just because of her face.
Haha, all actresses are like that, here, take this and cheer up a bit, Director!
What I handed him was a fairly expensive bottle of wine I had brought just in case.
Huh? Why are you preparing this again...
I brought it, but it was a waste to give to that bastard.
If I gave money, there might be problems later,
and to get through this filming without issues, I'd have to use it up even though I hated to...
I had brought it thinking I'd meet that bastard director later and give it to him...
Still, seeing him smack his lips repeatedly, it looked like that simple guy's mood was improving a little.
I approached him with the saddest expression I could manage, bowed my head right in front of him.
I really tried to help properly, you know... Director, you know how actresses are, how they are so capricious...
Even while I looked at him with eyes welling up with tears,
the guy didn't seem to want to look at me at all, avoiding my gaze.
He thought actresses like me dared to challenge the director's authority.
Director... please save me just this once... I just joined and wanted to spread my wings once.
If I return to the company like this, I'll be fired. You know, right? It's not like only I die...
Boo! What about the NG? What if Kim Si-a does NG again?
Never! I will make sure there is no NG.
If the director permits, even if I can't act, I'll set up everything so the lines can be read perfectly.
Kim glared at my face for a moment, then spat out blunt words as if he was giving charity to a beggar.
Sigh... fine, let's do it! I'll overlook you once after seeing how pathetic you are. So, keep your actress in line...
I couldn't take it anymore.
I had to crush this arrogant bastard to the very bottom of hell.
The whole world would know his face, and I would make sure he couldn't survive in this country.
I swallowed my boiling humiliation, hiding my trembling fists, and smiled in front of him.
Haha... thank you, Director! I will definitely make sure there is no NG!
He waved his hand dismissively as if annoyed, and like shooing away a fly, he kicked me out of the waiting room.
Stay sharp. Stirring up trouble here won't bring me any benefit at all.
I cooled my heating head by approaching the assistant director and received a script.
Kim Si-a's solo monologue in court... the last scene of this drama.
Once this filming is finished, I would bury that bastard Kim Gyeong-tae.
Promising and promising again, I quietly pasted the script pages large enough for Si-a to read easily, here and there.
***
"Coordinator Choi. Do I look okay now? How is it...?"
A straight nose and sharp yet not fierce cat-like eyes, with faintly pink and subtly thin lips.
What is this... a pure yet arrogant... and somehow strong-looking actress.
The face she received after makeup correction looked like it truly radiated light.
Noona... really, you are too much. Noona has never looked bad even once.
With just her face, she had the elegance to carry the lead role.
Choi had never seen her face ruined even once.
Hehe... really? Then it's good. I'll go to the bathroom for a moment.
Shall I come with you?
No, I'm not a child...
Kim Si-a's mood today was really strange.
Because of the new rookie manager, a man, her way to the filming set had been incredibly enjoyable today.
Clever.
Somehow he knew her favorite perfume and brought slippers full of thoughtfulness...
Moreover... tall and cool mask, managing her figure so well that it showed even under the suit...
A guy younger than her but quite adult-like...
Hmph... why did I have to hear that right in front of him...
Usually, no matter how much the director yelled, she had just closed her eyes and endured.
But today, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing at all.
She had received words she couldn't even say in front of such a likable man, so it was no wonder.
My mood was weird...
Honestly, he had seemed a bit resentful earlier,
but now... was she falling for the man she saw for the first time today?
Now, her heart was just pounding.
The wide chest and the large, warm hand that held hers tightly when she hugged me while I cried...
The gentle gaze looking at her with worry...
Did I really fall for him...? The man I met for the first time today?
She had never experienced love, so she couldn't know.
She only knew that when he held her hand, her heart raced as if it would burst, like in the books...
If this was love, she didn't have it.
She would live her whole life with this pounding heart.
Actually, she hadn't come out because she wanted to go to the bathroom.
I found him!
That man! She had come out to look for that man.
The one who smiled brightly at her...
"Sia noona! You seem calmer now?"
"Ah... thank you. No, thank you... I wanted to say that..."
This was the first time for this man.
To think she had decided to get close to someone this quickly.
She wanted to show courage for the first time... no, she wanted to show greed for the first time.
Aigoo~ what are you thanking me for? I'm your manager...
Manager? No, man friend? I wish he had said that.
...Still, thank you...
Haha... don't take it to heart. Ah! And I was looking for noona anyway... follow me.
She flinched at his words to follow, expecting the thrilling hand touch she had felt earlier.
But he just turned his body and walked ahead without holding her hand like before.
Idiot... of course! How many eyes are watching right now...
I know, but... maybe a little unfair?
Noona, why are you like this since earlier? Your stomach still doesn't feel good?
Ah, no! Let's go.
I don't know why, but don't look at me like that and just go... you'll be caught...
I stepped forward first with a stupid face toward somewhere I didn't know.
Noona, where are you going... it's this way to the filming set!
Ah, right! There it was!
Thanks to me leaving the filming set, the staff were in rest, and no one was around.
-Click.
Even though it was an empty filming set, the suffocating pressure squeezed my heart again...
Haa... haa... haa...
My breathing became labored. My head spun.
My body trembled, and I wanted to run away from this place again.
Please... please don't look at this pathetic side of me... please, I beg you.
My eyes tightly closed, my body shivering... it was too pathetic to endure...
-Grab!
Right then, a warm voice and the warmth of a large hand full of gentleness reached my shoulder.
Noona, you can open your eyes now. You don't have to be afraid anymore.
I... can't open them. I'm too scared.
Believe me just this once... just this once. If Kim is scary, just look at my eyes. Can you do that?
...
Should I believe him...? No, I should trust... let's believe this man's words just this once!
Somehow, I trusted this man.
If it was this man... if it was his words, I could believe him!
Trembling like a wet puppy that had been soaked for a long time, I gathered courage and opened my eyes wide.
Huh!
My heart seemed to stop for a moment... why?
Noona. Look~ from now on, whatever Kim says or whatever the staff says, just look at me.
The man who took my heart for the first time... that man I met today for the first time...
Because he was gently holding my shoulder and looking directly at me.
Even bringing his face right in front of mine...
Hiss... his breath...
His sweet breath tickled my lips.
Noona! Can you do it? And if your hair gets white again, read the script written on the table there.
If you still can't see, there will be another assistant actor behind the chair over there.
...Yes... I'll do that...
I couldn't see anything or understand, but
I kept nodding my head and had no choice but to avoid his gaze.
Otherwise, I would end up stealing his seemingly sweet lips...
Remember this. No one is here. Just the two of us. If it gets blocked suddenly, where do I look?
Your... eyes?
No, not your eyes.
No! If I look at your eyes, I can do it well. So, be next to me during filming later!
Yes...? I'll do it, noona. If that's comfortable for noona, I'll do it.
With his slightly foolish expression and her confession that didn't sound like a confession,
the filming of the final courtroom monologue scene of this drama resumed.
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