Do Not Negotiate with a Strategic Nuke (2)
Do Not Negotiate with a Strategic Nuke (2)
What the Chairwoman had originally intended to ask Yujin to do:
Keep the troublesome Winterer under control and use her to raid Gates.
Yujin, who had caught on to her scheme, shot to his feet.
'She had planned this from the beginning!!?'
—Spring.
"So you’re planning to work me for free too, you old hag!!"
He'd rather raid Gates by himself.
She wanted him to bring along that insolent brat who desperately needed corrective education?
Who knew what Winterer would do once her ability was unsealed?
Worse, this counted as a class, so they probably would not even pay him.
Was the Chairwoman planning to exploit him as well as Winterer?
Even if I forgave you, the Labor Standards Act wouldn't, you exploitative old hag.
That was why Yujin's eyes had turned fierce.
-Snicker.
"For free? Do you think I would do that? I’ll pay you a generous allowance from my own pocket, so don’t worry."
Of course, the Chairwoman had absolutely no intention of taking advantage of Yujin...
"How much?"
"As a special concession, I’ll pay the average market rate for clearing the Gate. For a C-rank Gate, that would be around ten million won."
"You really are an old hag. Ten million won is pocket change!!"
Who was Yujin.
A young man who casually earned ten million won for a single treatment.
A young man who had just extracted a ten-billion-won donation from the Church of the Lord.
Trying to entice him with the meager reward for clearing B- to D-rank Gates wasn't very effective.
It was even less effective when working with Winterer guaranteed him a miserable time.
At this, the Chairwoman's eyes grew fierce too.
"Has your sense of money already collapsed? How can ten million won be ‘meager’? Dig the ground for a hundred days and see whether you find even one ten-won coin."
"I don’t need to dig. I can earn that much by going to the hospital!!"
"Ahem. Uh, hm. An adult is speaking. How dare you answer back to every word!?"
Despite her raised brows, her anger arrived a little slowly.
Her conscience had suddenly begun to ache.
She was foisting Winterer onto Yujin, who was still only a cadet.
She had made the decision because she trusted Yujin, her instincts, and finally “that,” but...
honestly, wasn't this insane?
Even the eloquent Seol Hayeon could not help hesitating.
Yujin did not miss that brief opening.
"Adult? Does being older make you royalty!?"
"Have you never heard that the young should respect their elders!? A junior should naturally...."
"You’ve lived long enough for your skin to sag, and now you’re trying to exploit a young man!!!"
He went straight for a personal attack and weaponized her age.
Your skin must be starting to sag. You probably have wrinkles and laugh lines by now. At your age, doing this to me was a little...
Seol Hayeon almost failed to contain her fury at the impertinent attack...
"......?"
'What was this brat talking about? Even I wondered when I'd finally start looking old.'
She was not enraged.
Perhaps it would have worked before the regression, when she had been in her seventies.
At present, however, her body remained far removed from aging.
Talk about sagging skin could not possibly wound her pride.
Instead, a grin spread across her face.
She smiled at the thought of tormenting Yujin.
"Did you say I was sagging?"
"Yes. Just completely...."
"I’m not that old yet, you insolent brat! Shall I strip and show you?"
She immediately began unbuttoning her shirt.
Her Sixth Sense had already shown her exactly how Yujin would react.
And then...
"......!? W-wait. Please calm...."
—Fwoosh!
"There, take a good look!"
The Chairwoman dropped a Strategic Nuke with a thump.
Underwear perfectly suited to her tastes—frankly, grandmotherly underwear—was revealed to the world.
There was no need to explain Yujin’s reaction after seeing it head-on.
It was the reaction of someone caught in the blast.
"Kyaaaaaah!! The old hag actually stripped!!!"
Yujin covered both eyes and screamed shrilly.
He had closed them immediately, but...
the red floral fabric had already been burned into the edge of his vision.
No matter how he covered his eyes, it remained like a dark burn scar.
Yujin could only groan in agony.
'I should never have tried to negotiate with a Strategic Nuke...!!'
Belated regret came as a bonus.
He had never possessed a chance of winning in the first place.
What use was negotiation against an asymmetric weapon like a Strategic Nuke?
He should've surrendered unconditionally instead of inviting a pointless strike.
"I-I was wrong... please stooop......"
-Tremble, tremble.
Yujin finally lost all will to fight and sagged helplessly.
He looked truly pitiful with his face drained white.
However,
"There, there. You may touch them. If you still think they’re sagging after that, I’ll admit defeat. Well?"
"No, I meant wrinkles...!! Not your breasts!!"
"Why are you acting like that? You were eager to slander me, but now that I’m showing you, you’re frightened? I even told you to touch and confirm it."
—Thrust.
"Kiiyaaaaaaahk!!!!"
Seol Hayeon’s punishment did not stop.
For one thing, she found the promising young man’s terror amusing.
She was also delighted to meet someone who would bicker playfully with her as an equal for the first time in decades...
and finally, she was honestly a little angry.
'Even if I was old, I still looked perfectly fine. Why was he making such a fuss?'
-Sliiide.
"What’s wrong? Shall I take off my underwear too, so you can check whether I have wrinkles?"
She blurted out the embarrassing taunt without thinking.
Heat rushed to her head, and her hand moved toward her bra clasp before she realized it.
Someone as dignified as her nearly crossed the line in a fit of pique.
And then, Seol Hayeon...
"Fine. I’ll take it off, so watch closely. Now...."
"Grandma?"
"What are you doing in front of a man, you perverted Rice Cake?"
"......!!!"
———Her karma returned with remarkable speed.
'Oh dear. I'd made a fool of myself. It'd simply been too long since I met a cheeky brat willing to challenge me as an equal....'
-Snatch.
"Grandma pervert. Tried to show Daddy her naked body. Sis, don’t look. It’s dirty."
"To think I risked my life trying to kill a bitch like this. Ugh. I feel like a Rice Cake."
"......!!? N-no. That's not what happened. This is only...."
The punishment for violating the Geneva Conventions was horrifying.
Haru, whom she cherished like a granddaughter, had declared her a “perverted grandma.”
And on top of that, Winterer's heartfelt disgust.
The price of her war crime was seeing her reputation fall through the floor on the very first day the three of them lived together.
Her heart crumbled to pieces.
'What had I done wrong? I had only meant to punish that insolent brat for overreacting....'
The Chairwoman lamented inwardly that she had been wronged.
Objectively, however, it was a light price for her shameless behavior.
* * *
After Haru and Winterer barged in and turned everything into chaos,
the Chairwoman and I reached an agreement through Telepathy.
We would pretend the incident had never occurred.
[Chairwoman, I was sorry....]
[I’ll pretend it never happened, so help me. The way Haru is looking at me is breaking my heart.]
[Yes. Please follow my lead.]
We would stop fighting and salvage the situation instead.
It was a thoroughly S-rank agreement, unconcerned with sunk costs.
Thus, I...
-Pat. Rub, rub.
"......Huh!?"
"Haru, Grandma only had indigestion from the grilled patties earlier. She asked Daddy to use his magic healing hands on her stomach, that’s all~."
I hurried over and rubbed the Chairwoman’s stomach.
I hated myself for going this far, but there was no other choice.
Ordinary measures would not resolve the situation.
I had to at least rub the old woman’s stomach.
-Flinch.
"Th-that’s right. Thank you, Yujin. Thanks to you, the indigestion is going right... away......"
The Chairwoman understood my intent and played along.
Her voice faded and she kept flinching as though it tickled.
Anyone could see that her acting was terrible, but...
'Even I didn't know what I was rubbing. Was this her stomach or her ribs?'
—Rub, rub.
"Hngh... My stomach feels much better now."
I was performing just as badly.
I'd kept my gaze fixed on the floor, afraid that looking at the Chairwoman would expose me to the blast again.
Still, this should have been enough to fool an innocent child.
"......!! Daddy. Me too. I have indigestion. Do me too."
It apparently worked, because Haru huffed eagerly.
She even patted her own stomach while insisting that she had indigestion.
I immediately abandoned the Chairwoman and switched to Haru.
"You too, Haru? Oh dear. Daddy will make all the pain go away~."
-Rub, rub.
"Hehe. Daddy’s hand feels good."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh."
'Had we managed to get through it? Whew.'
A sigh of relief escaped me.
It didn't seem to fool the slightly older child, however.
Winterer’s gaze as she watched us was rather...
-Staring fixedly.
"What? Do you have indigestion too, Winterer? Want me to prick your fingertip?"
What could she do? We had agreed to pretend nothing happened, and Haru believed us completely.
No matter how she stared, there was nothing Winterer could do.
Perhaps she realized that, because she didn't question us.
"Why am I the only one who gets her finger pricked, you Rice Cake?"
"Because pricking a fingertip is the best cure for overeating."
"Tch. Forget it, you Rice Cake."
"......?"
She was far more docile than I had expected.
Before entering the quarters, she had snapped at me constantly.
Now she looked listless, and her face was slightly red.
Had something happened while she brushed her teeth with Haru?
"You look exhausted. Did something happen with Haru?"
"......!!!!!?"
—Jump.
Winterer sprang straight upward when I asked.
Like a cat startled by a cucumber.
She seemed pretty damn startled.
"Did you see us? You perverted Rice Cake!?"
"No. Why would I watch you brush your teeth? I only asked because your face was red, you looked exhausted, and I was worried."
"......Tch. You really are a damned Rice Cake."
-Scuff scuff.
But that was only for a moment.
She kicked at the floor as though she had no intention of answering.
Her face had also turned bright red.
'Had she made a mistake in the bathroom? Maybe she peed on the floor and Haru scolded her?'
-Smirk.
"Well, if it’s difficult to tell me, forget it."
I decided not to press her.
She had grown up among villains, so bad habits were probably ingrained in her.
There was no need to point them out.
"Wait. Did you just have some Rice Cake-like thought, Rice Cake? My mood suddenly feels extremely Rice Cake-like."
"Not at all. More importantly, Winterer."
"What? For the record, Haru and I didn’t do anything...."
"———You’re going to raid Gates with me from now on."
Instead, I told her what the Chairwoman and I had agreed upon.
You were my buddy. Twice a week. I looked forward to working with you.
Winterer's expression contorted.
"Just the two of us, without even Seol Hayeon?"
"To be precise, together with people from the Cheonhwa Clan."
"That’s the same thing, you Rice Cake. You know how strong I am, right? I can kill a Rice Cake in one hit. I’ll kill you."
She tapped her temple while speaking.
What an elegant way to ask whether I was sane.
It made me want to rap her on the head.
"That’s what she says. What do you intend to do, Chairwoman?"
-Swivel.
Instead of hitting Winterer, I passed the question to the Chairwoman.
I agreed with Winterer on this point.
Why was the Chairwoman placing such a heavy burden on me?
The Chairwoman, who had been rubbing her lower abdomen, turned toward us.
"Hm? What did you say? I didn’t hear you clearly."
"Oh dear, your hearing already... Ahem. Winterer says she’ll kill me if we enter a Gate together. What do you plan to do?"
"Ah. That's what this was about."
The Chairwoman’s flushed cheeks only returned to normal after I mentioned being killed.
A smirk spread across her lips.
"Do you think I entrusted Winterer to you without a plan?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Wait just a moment."
She turned and trotted away.
The sound of rummaging followed her.
She seemed to be looking for something.
After that, we...
"Here. If you wear this, you’ll be safe no matter what happens."
"A-are you insane, you perverted Rice Cake!!?"
"I would rather let her kill me a hundred times than wear this!!"
We found ourselves facing something inhumane.