Is It So Wrong to Seek Product Placement in a Gate? (4)
Is It So Wrong to Seek Product Placement in a Gate? (4)
I realized it the moment I heard her voice.
My master was more flustered than I'd ever heard her.
[Are you aliveeee?!]
'...-nya?! Master actually said -nya!!?'
My master was Japanese.
Maybe that was why she found Korean sentences ending in '-nya' intensely embarrassing.
She said it sounded as though she were meowing like a silly cat to act cute.
Before the regression, I'd occasionally asked her to say it on purpose. Anyway.
For her to keep saying '-nya' like that was anything but normal.
She was worried enough to say something she normally found mortifying without a second thought.
'I appreciate the concern, but if you could see the situation right now...'
I quickly surveyed the scene.
First: Alice.
Her top had almost completely burned away, leaving her in her bra.
I had lent her my coat, but it did not fit around her chest and only emphasized it more.
Second: the director.
The chest of her sweater had been cut away, leaving her in an underboob-style outfit.
One wrong move and her breasts would plainly pop out of the opening.
Third: me. A man.
...My conclusion was that I urgently needed to destroy the evidence.
...The result was: urgent destruction of evidence required.
'If Master sees this, I'm getting slapped!!'
It wasn't on purpose.
Alice had burned off her own clothes, while I had lent her mine. If anything, I'd done the right thing.
As for the director... I had cut her sweater, but it was her fault for following me into the Gate without saying a word. One hundred percent hers, zero percent mine.
I hadn't done a single thing wrong. Really.
But from my master's perspective?
Oh my. My disciple. I rushed over because I heard a Gate had erupted, only to find you presiding over a debauched pleasure palace with women stripped half-naked.
What? You say it's not your fault?
Making excuses after seeing a woman's bare skin? I thought better of you. I'm disappointed, Disciple.
That was exactly how it would go.
My master was extremely conservative about such things.
'She hardly cares about showing her own skin, but she cares enormously about me seeing anyone else's.'
The cute part was how often she showed her defenseless side to her disciple—often enough to make me wonder whether she did it deliberately. Anyway.
After that brief assessment, I moved straight into the boss battle.
[Khuk, so you have come. Pitiful ■■■ ■■...]
[The skill 'Complete Hypnosis' activates!]
"Die!!!"
[......Hah?]
I took the front line.
I swung my sword, still in its scabbard.
[It doesn't reach? No, with ■■■ present, you should certainly understand...]
"Alice!! Hurry with the magic!!"
"Yujin might get caught in my spell, and she'll be here soon anyway."
"I'll grant you any single wish later, so please!!"
"......!!!? N-no take-backs!!!"
-Whoosh... BOOOOM!!!
"Nice!!"
[...Kraaaaak!!! Stop pretending you can't hear me, and listen to what I have to say!!!]
Alice handled rear-line fire support.
Properly motivated by my promise, she fired spell after spell faster than I'd ever seen.
At that pace, she would plainly collapse from exhaustion once the battle ended, but...
I'd send her out the moment it ended, so that should not be a problem.
And finally,
[I can hear the sounds of fighting, so I'm coming now, just hold on until theeeeen!!!!!]
'We only started fighting thirty seconds ago. How is your voice already this close!?'
And finally, my time limit: Master.
...I'd taken the shortest route because I knew the dungeon, but Master did not have that advantage.
She was catching up to my all-out brainpower through sheer physical ability.
What was this? Was it one of those cases where a weak body made the brain work harder?
[Listen!! Your wretched fate, the future where you'll be discarded like an old shoe...]
"Head!!"
-Clang!!
I leaped and brought the Jaha Sword Art down on the spot where the fireball had struck its head.
The crown of the boss monster—the Dueoksini—dented slightly.
As a bonus, that triggered its Berserk State pattern.
[......You mere, uncivilized creatureeeeee!!!!]
-Crunch.
The Dueoksini, which had remained completely at ease until then, moved for the first time.
Its first pattern was snapping off the tree branches growing from its head like antlers.
The broken branch swelled the instant it entered the creature's hand, transforming into an enormous club.
It raised the club high and tried to crush an awakener's head with it...
"Alice, now!"
"Haaaah!!!"
-Swoosh... Boom!!!
[Khuk!?]
The counter was simple. Raising the club had left its lower body wide open, so Alice used magic to knock it off balance.
[A mere trick...]
"Head!!!"
-Smack!
I used the opening to strike.
The Dueoksini's crown became a little more concave.
A slight turn of its head and a certain fruit-logo company might have sued for trademark infringement.
Naturally, the Dueoksini went berserk.
[Y-You insignificant insect! How dare you strike my head!!!]
'Still sensitive about the head, I see.'
The Dueoksini was a Korean goblin famous for crushing human heads.
The Chairwoman, who had defeated it in the game, had personally named it...
Perhaps it was living up to that name, because touching its head drew an absurd amount of aggro.
'Still, at this pace, it'd be over soon...'
[I can hear explosions, are you hurt at aaaaall!!!]
[Please, stop! No, I won't tell you to stop—just don't shout so everyone can hear you!!]
'...How did you get here so fast!?'
Her voice had grown noticeably closer while my mind wandered for only a moment.
I could even hear the Chairwoman now. They could not have been more than a few dozen seconds away.
I moved quickly.
"Alice, on my signal, hit it with your strongest shot! At the crown!"
"Will that be okay!? From what I've seen just now, the head isn't really its weak point..."
"Trust me and do it!!"
"...Okay!"
I had Alice begin preparing her ultimate spell.
Then I adjusted my grip on my sword.
I intended to pour every bit of mana I had conserved into the next strike.
Well, I was still laughably short of being able to handle the Jaha Sword Art, but...
I had grown in plenty of ways since then.
Using it briefly shouldn't be too much of a strain.
[I was going to show mercy, pitying you for being used as a mere pawn!! Just die, insect!!!]
-Crack.
Right on cue, the Dueoksini entered its fixed pattern.
It was a pattern that appeared only after its rage had been pushed to the limit.
It broke off every tree branch growing from its head like horns and crafted a colossal club a full ten meters long.
Then it would swing that club indiscriminately at everything in front of it.
The attack was simple and brutish, yet surprisingly difficult to penetrate.
The club moved so fast that it knocked aside most spells and kept the front line from approaching.
Sia was probably the only one who could break through it head-on.
'Normally, the opening came when it tired after the pattern ended... but if I waited for that, Master would arrive.'
"Hyaaah!!!"
Despite that, I charged in.
Like a moth to a flame, without a thought for what lay ahead.
The club immediately came hurtling toward me.
It swept in diagonally, leaving me nowhere to dodge.
And I...
-BOOOOOOOM!!
"Yu-Yujin!!!?"
I simply let it hit me.
It struck hard enough to send me flying like a baseball.
...As I expected.
-Ding!
[Damage reduced by 90% due to the effect of the Trait 'Unyielding'.]
"Alice, now!!!"
I shouted even as the blow sent me flying.
My gaze met Alice's as she stretched a hand toward me.
Her lips twisted into a fierce grin.
"I'll scold you later, Yujin!! Hyaaah!!!"
-Goooo...
Alice clearly disliked my meat-shield tactic, but she obediently gathered flames while glaring at me.
Then Alice unleashed a spell containing her full power.
Its firepower wouldn't have lost even to that of an active A-rank awakener.
The Dueoksini would normally have dodged it with ease, but...
the recoil from striking me had left it off balance.
The spell struck it head-on.
-TWOBOOOOOOM!!!!!
[@#$@%@#!!!!]
A blast of hot wind struck me, followed by an explosion that left my ears ringing.
I smiled involuntarily at the Dueoksini's pain-filled roar.
Unlike me, Alice had collapsed to the floor and stared in horror.
[Grr, ever since a while ago, only the head...!!!]
"...!!!!? Yujin, it's still completely fine!? I guess its head really wasn't the weak point!?"
Despite taking such a powerful spell head-on, the Dueoksini calmly regained its balance.
Alice's face darkened in an instant, as though she expected us to be wiped out, but...
"I can't move so much as a finger anymore..."
"No. It's already over."
"......Yujin!"
Her expression brightened again.
I pushed myself upright from where I had been embedded in the wall.
A fierce golden light must have been blazing in my eyes.
-Step. Step.
"Hey. You."
[So you were alive. As expected of ■■■ ■■. Tenacious as ever...]
And in the end, I stood before the Dueoksini once more...
and declared checkmate.
"———Get down on all fours."
[Activating Skill 'Complete Hypnosis'. Failure...]
[Target is currently afflicted with the Status Effect 'Concussion'! Despite the difference in class, the target succumbs to 'ordinary' hypnosis!!]
-Flop.
The Dueoksini's drowsy gaze slowly lowered.
It dropped to all fours before me as though prostrating itself.
That exposed the nape of its neck—
the weak point containing the demonic creature's core.
'That was why I had kept targeting its head: to force it to expose this opening.'
...Just as Alice had said, the Dueoksini's weak point was absolutely not its head.
Perhaps because it crushed other creatures' heads, its own skull was unusually tough.
But who am I?
The Hypnosis Breeding Guy who could 'click' the instant an opening appeared.
I had persistently targeted only the head to create an opening.
Normally, one had to sever all four limbs before attacking its weak point, because one wrong move would trigger Berserk. I had created an opening that let me cut the core directly.
The payoff was sweet.
'Jaha Sword Art, First Technique. Kamaitachi.'
-Slice!
Before the hypnosis wore off, I poured all my mana into a downward slash—
one that pierced even the enhanced Dueoksini's thick hide
and split its impossibly hard core in two.
The cut was so clean that only a thread-thin wound was visible from the outside.
The Dueoksini vanished without so much as opening its mouth.
[Th-This... How could a mere pawn possess even this authority...?]
-Thud.
'What had it been muttering about this whole time? Was it always this noisy?'
I didn't know what it had been chirping about from the start.
Almost as though it had been trying to speak to me.
Not that I could have understood the cries of an incomprehensible beast.
* * *
The battle ended with Pine-Needle Snow.
"Yujin, we did it...!!"
"Yeah. Oh, drink this."
"......Pine-Needle Snow!"
Alice had collapsed from exhaustion, but when I handed her a can I'd kept in my pocket for the shoot, she drank it eagerly.
'Now then, my share is...'
-Swoop.
'Oh, nice instincts, Director.'
Realizing it was the perfect product-placement shot, the director tossed me a can as well.
I immediately took a long, refreshing drink.
Alice's fire magic had made the place hot, and I was desperately thirsty.
I drank as eagerly as a man finding an oasis in the desert.
[The skill 'Complete Hypnosis' activates.]
-Gulp, gulp.
"...Khaa! The pine flavor's really growing on me!"
Truthfully, I had not trusted myself to make it look that delicious, so I had borrowed the power of hypnosis. The result was what mattered.
Apparently it looked convincing enough, because the director gave me an okay sign.
"Incredible! How did only the two of you clear an A-rank Gate...!!"
"Did you film it well? Anything else to film?"
"The battery's dead now, so I can't film anymore. I got everything I needed, though."
"Good. Then we're done."
It sounded as though she had gotten everything she needed.
I smiled slightly, and then...
I simply picked her up.
In a princess carry.
"Upsy-daisy."
"...Huh?"
"Please handle the editing carefully. Do not use anything except the battle and the drink scene, all right~?"
-Whoosh.
Then I deposited her at the Return Portal that had appeared in one corner.
The director, her face inexplicably bright red, was instantly sent out of the Gate.
Alice's turn was next.
"Hwaa, it's hot~."
"Alice? Hey... Hk."
"What's wrong?"
...A surprise attack, right at the very end.
Well, Alice did overheat easily.
Drenched in sweat as she was, embarrassment came second to flapping her clothes for some air.
Even so, doing that in front of a man was a bit much.
Anyone who saw her would think she had no bra on.
Of course she was wearing one; the angle merely hid it from view.
Keeping my eyes averted as much as possible, I scooped Alice up as well.
"You're exhausted, right? I'll carry you to the Return Portal."
"......? .........!!!!!!!?"
Maybe embarrassed about all the sweat she'd shed, her cheeks flushed bright red.
As an added embarrassment, she hurriedly zipped her jacket back up.
"W-Wait, Yujin!! My... my luggage..."
"Don't worry, I'll collect your wand and stuff."
"Th-That's not it. That, umm..."
"Go on ahead and rest. I'm gonna talk with Master a bit before I leave."
-Casually. Swoop.
I ignored her protests and sent Alice out as well.
My perfect crime had succeeded.
As if celebrating my success, approaching footsteps echoed through the chamber.
-Patter.
"Disciple!! You're safe... Huh?"
"Wh-What's this...?"
Then the two of them appeared.
The Chairwoman and my master.
"Surely you didn't clear an A-rank Gate alone...?"
"I did it with Alice, just the two of us."
Both women seemed astonished that Alice and I had cleared an A-rank Gate by ourselves.
I puffed out my chest and acted confident.
I was certain no one knew what had happened here moments earlier.
-Stomp, stomp.
"......Disciple."
"Yes?"
"What is this?"
See? Even Master was astonished by this unbelievable feat—
"Why is there a bra here? And why is it soaking wet?"
"......Excuse me?"
In my master's hand was a black bra.
The one Alice had been wearing.
".........!!!!!!!?"
'Don't tell me Alice got so hot in that brief moment that she threw off her bra...!?'
"———Disciple. Lie facedown here and lower your pants. You require a proper punishment."
My master's expression froze solid.