Five-Hit Pandemonium
Five-Hit Pandemonium
Somehow, the three Gate field exercises came and went, and Friday arrived.
It was the day of Yujin's final field exercise for the week.
"Disciple. Say, what do you think about going with me today...? If it's Seol Hayeon, I can persuade her."
"Master, if you set foot in a C-rank Gate, wouldn't the monsters just keel over standing up? Like, cardiac-arrest style."
"......Tch. Off you go, then. Call if you think of anything you want for dinner."
"Yep~."
After easily fending off his master, who'd been clinging to him since dawn,
the wholesome young man sauntered toward the Chairwoman's office.
He was going there to meet Winterer.
'If I cleared Gates on weekdays and trained hard on weekends, I should be able to get my Strength to around 7, right? That'd at least meet the minimum damage threshold....'
—Tap-tap-tap. Grab.
"Yujin~!! Good morning!!"
"......!!!!?"
But the peace didn't last.
Alice suddenly came running over and threw her arms around Yujin.
His cheeks instantly burned red.
'Alice?! Her classes shouldn't start for ages, so why was she already out here? Did she wait for me from early this morning? Unless she actually liked me....'
—Ding.
[The skill 'Complete Hypnosis' yawns and rubs sleepily against your cheek.]
'...Right, like that'd ever happen. She must have some business with me.'
As always, his ability to take a hint remained sealed away.
Yujin decided to respond appropriately to the bold physical contact.
By now, he was starting to get used to this much.
He would calmly peel her off and talk to her...
—Pat, pat.
"You got up early again today! It's because of Gate training, right? Our Yujin is such a good boy~."
"......?"
He couldn't detach her.
Alice was not acting like herself.
Question marks flooded Yujin's mind.
'What's with this? Why's she being like this?'
She held him tight and patted his head.
Even across the entire First Round, she had never once acted like this.
What was going on? Why was she treating him like a baby?
Was another weird challenge trending on Outstar?
Then again, Alice loved social media. She might have picked up something strange online.
Trends these days were impossible to keep up with.
A baffled laugh escaped him.
'Was this something like a hug challenge? I was certainly gratef—'
"So, here!"
—Squeeze.
"I-I-I'll give you a nice, tight hug!"
"......!!!!?"
'She was shoving my face into her boobs out of nowhere!!?'
Every trace of amusement vanished the instant his face sank into her chest.
Yujin froze, unable even to move.
Alice's hand gently stroked the back of his head.
As though he were a baby. With maternal tenderness.
Exactly as Ryu Suyeon had instructed.
'O-Okay, this is exactly what I saw in the Eye so far. Now, if Yujin says, "Alice, something feels strange down there," then....'
—Grinning ear to ear.
...Her expression, however, was anything but motherly.
Dark circles hung heavily beneath her eyes.
They were proof that she had stayed up all night reading dirty comics, specifically the niche genre of infantile regression.
She was grinning with a thoroughly indecent look on her face.
If Ryu Suyeon saw her, she'd probably recoil and say, "To think Alice had a paraphilia...."
'All right, Yujin! I only put on nipple covers today, so perk up as much as you like!'
—Squeeze.
'When was she going to let go...? I couldn't even move. This was driving me crazy.'
Fortunately or unfortunately,
it was so early that neither Suyeon nor a single cadet passed by.
The two remained locked in that embrace for nearly three full minutes.
Right up until the underside of her breasts grew damp with sweat.
"Heheheh. Yujin, you did such a good job...."
—Trickle.
"...O-Okay, that's enough!!"
'I was already sweating this much?! If I'd known, I'd have put on deodorant!!'
—Whoosh.
"......Puhah!!"
'I seriously thought I was going to suffocate!!'
Yujin, who'd just set a new personal record for holding his breath, was finally released.
His face was bright red from the lack of oxygen, a truly pitiful sight, but...
'That face! I was so glad Yujin looked energized again!'
Alice didn't offer a single apology.
To her, this was treatment.
Even after seeing the wreck before her, all she could think was, 'His circulation improved! It was working!'
How did the victim who'd nearly suffocated respond?
"Whew... Is this some trend in England? Suddenly hugging a man to startle him?"
"Huh? Ah, yes! Did you not like it?"
"Of course not. It was a little embarrassing, but if it's a trend...."
He didn't get mad or anything.
Why would he get angry over a perfectly legitimate hug from his wife?
If anything, he was grateful.
Oh, England. Now this was a proper challenge.
He sincerely apologized for slandering it all this time as a country with no sense of taste.
"That's a relief. I heard this perks men up. How do you feel?"
"I'm definitely wide awake now... Are you going to do this to anyone else?"
"No! You're the only friend I can do something like this with, Yujin."
"Then that's fine. I don't mind, but other people might misunderstand. Never do this to another man, okay?"
"Of course! You're the only one for me, Yujin!"
Their exchange was the very picture of pure romance, but...
Alice was too excited to think straight.
Yujin, as always, had entered dense-young-man mode.
The romantic feelings permeating the conversation went completely unnoticed.
"All right. I should get going. I have Gate training, so I'm headed to the Chairwoman's office...."
"I'll come with you!"
"Huh? Do you need something from the Chairwoman too?"
"Not exactly... I wanted to see Haru!"
"Pfft. Got it. Let's go, then."
The two headed toward the Chairwoman's office together.
Yujin had been going there anyway,
"By the way, um... Yujin? You can ask me for anything you need, you know?"
"Yeah?"
"If something hurts or feels strange, tell me, okay? I'll take care of you like a mother...."
"......?"
Alice had tagged along on impulse so she could keep flirting with him.
With everyone gathered inside, the Chairwoman's office grew crowded.
—Creeeak.
"Daddy, good morning... Huh. Pinky's here too."
"Haru. Good morning~!"
"Yeah. Good morning, Pinky."
Haru yawned in her pajamas, still visibly sleepy.
Alice and Yujin greeted her cheerfully.
And then,
"Cadet Alice. Excessive displays of affection on academy grounds violated school regulations."
"......!!!!!? Wh-What are you talking about?"
Seol Hayeon had been frowning for some time.
"I had an ominous feeling since dawn, and lo and behold, you were hugging him brazenly out in the open. I wondered at first if you were nursing him."
"You saw that!? You should've been far away."
"I may be past my prime, but I'm still the fourth-ranked S-rank Awakener."
"W-Well. Actually, it was a challenge on Outstar...."
And last but not least...
—Trembling.
'So that was Alice...!!! The woman that Rice Cake liked!!!'
Winterer, trembling from the shock.
And so the five of them gathered in the Chairwoman's office.
Five people, each with different goals and thoughts.
Utter chaos was inevitable.
"So you're telling me that sort of thing is trending on social media? That this is how young people amuse themselves these days?"
"Yes! Isn't that right, Yujin?"
"Alice is probably right. I don't know much about social media either, but all sorts of strange things become popular these days."
"......."
'I could not say about Yujin, but everything this Alice girl said was a bald-faced lie.'
Seol Hayeon, Yujin, and Alice were the stars of the first fiasco.
The Chairwoman saw through Alice's lie instantly.
A challenge? What utter nonsense.
The world might have been going to hell, but even so,
there was no way openly pawing at each other had become a trend.
"If having sex became trendy, would you go do that too?"
"...Pfft!!!"
"W-Well. Um."
"I'll overlook the rule violation this time, but from now on, do things because you want to. Don't hide behind excuses about trends."
Then came a trademark Seol Hayeon reality check.
It was effectively a direct shot at Alice: if she was going to do it, she should own it.
Alice's cheeks flushed red.
"Y-Yes...."
'From now on, I'd make sure no one caught me and only do it when we were alone. This was treatment. Yes.'
'She was not reflecting at all. What a shameless little thing.'
She had not reflected in the slightest.
That brought the first fiasco to an end.
It seemed Yujin might finally catch his breath, but...
'Whew. That hag nearly gave me a heart attack.'
—Glomp. Squish.
"Daddy. You did such a good job. Squeeze."
"......?"
Before he could catch his breath, the second fiasco began.
Still in her pajamas, Haru wrapped her father in a tight hug.
Just as her big sister had told her to.
'So that was Alice... And she even buried his face in her breasts? When he had our Haru!!?'
—Whisper-whisper.
[Hey, Rice Cake. Hurry up and hug your dad. Bury that rice-cake face of his right between your breasts.]
[Yaaawn... Then Granny will get mad. Daddy will get mad too.]
[You stupid Rice Cake! This is a trend, so it's fine. Stop arguing and hurry! That Alice bitch did it too!]
[...Thanks for the awesome information!]
—Rustle-rustle. Glomp.
'It was true! Granny wasn't getting mad!'
Haru's eyes sparkled.
She hadn't understood the challenge at all, but she could hug Daddy without getting scolded?
Staying awake when she desperately wanted to go back to sleep had been worth it!
I was so, so happy!
Haru grinned, delighted by the officially permitted cuddling.
'That Haru... Well, I could let this much slide. Compared to that horny girl, she was only being cute.'
'Haru, honestly. Well, I barely thought of her that way anymore.'
—Trembling.
'...Seeing Yujin in Haru's arms made me incredibly angry! I wanted to pound on his back and yell at him!!'
The Chairwoman and Yujin themselves thought nothing of it.
Only poor Alice was seized by an anger she could not explain.
None of that mattered to Haru.
She enjoyed the cuddling until she was satisfied.
The second fiasco ended on that heartwarming note.
"Phew. Hugging Daddy is the best. Feels super good."
"Right. If my Haru is happy, Daddy is happy too...."
—Scurry-scurry.
"Big Sis, Big Sis. Here, Big Sis too. A tight hug from Daddy. Totally feels great. I super strongly recommend it."
"...What nonsense is this Rice Cake spouting!?"
No one had expected the sparks to fly toward Winterer.
Haru's excessive kindness triggered the third fiasco.
Winterer's eyes spun.
"Why would I ever with a loser like him...."
She wanted her to hug that good-for-nothing?
No. Why should I?
"It was hard to control my strength when I squeezed him because I was scared Daddy might get hurt. Big Sis is super smart, so I'll watch you and learn."
But what if Haru pleaded so sweetly?
"......."
'It couldn't be helped. I was the big sister, and a big sister indulging her little sister was common sense.'
"If that's what Rice Cake wants, fine! I'll grant you the special honor of being held by me!!"
Winterer had no choice but to indulge her.
Even if it meant shoving some random man's face into her flat chest.
'Well, at least his face was handsome. It might not feel all that unpleasant....'
Especially since he was a handsome young man.
And Yujin's reaction?
'What was she talking about now?'
—Glance.
'Teach that shameless girl some sex education, would you, Granny?'
Without answering, he glanced to the side.
You saw that, right? Here. Please give her some sex education.
His look toward Seol Hayeon carried that exact message.
How did the woman suddenly tasked with sex education respond?
'That rotten brat. Ordering me around with his eyes? Let him suffer a little.'
—Grin.
"Oho. Are you craving a bosom? Come here. I'll personally hold you."
"Why are all of you acting like this?"
She fired right back.
Yujin let out a breath of disbelief.
What? She would personally hold him?
Had that old hag wasted all sixty years of her life?
Did her mental age shrink to match her appearance?
'She knew exactly what I'd say....'
—Pause.
'No. Wait. If I closed my eyes and endured for three seconds, I could gain a Tsar Bomba-class nuclear option to use for the rest of my life, could I not?'
For a moment, Yujin was genuinely tempted.
The Strategic Nuke he'd relied on whenever hypnosis was unavailable.
Its effectiveness had started to fade, and he had already fired it twice.
Should he replenish his nuclear arsenal while he had the chance?
That thought gave him pause.
'Still, it'd be like burning down the house to kill a flea.'
Of course, he hesitated for only an instant.
He'd have to live irradiated forever. Was that worth it for a weapon he might never need to fire?
Absolutely not.
He abandoned the idea immediately.
———Unfortunately, however.
—Pause.
'...Huh? Wait. That bastard hesitated just now.'
Seol Hayeon's intuition caught even that fleeting temptation.
She had only said it as a joke, yet he had actually considered whether to accept?
...That young man wanted to bury himself against my chest?
—Swish.
"I-It was a joke. My apologies if you got your hopes up...."
Hayeon unconsciously backed away.
She instinctively covered her chest, a faint blush rising to her face.
"......The hell?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm still the Chairwoman, old as I might be. No matter how much you want it, breaking the rules would be...."
"Has this hag finally lost her mind!!!? What the hell do you mean, wanted it!?"
That hit Yujin exactly where it hurt.
The young man, suddenly branded a secret granny-lover, flew into a rage.
At the old monster slandering his wholesome, healthy preferences.
He fought to prove his innocence.
'I'd never understand men. What could he possibly like about an old woman like me?'
—Snap.
"Stop blushing!!!"
Seol Hayeon ignored him completely, and his fury carried them through a fourth and fifth fiasco.
It was summer.
* * *
We had a huge fight after the Chairwoman started spouting nonsense, but our daily lives continued as usual afterward.
The only real change was that Haru began accompanying me on the Friday field exercises.
When she found out I was going into Gates, she insisted, "Me too, me too."
That was how my weekends became training and dates with my wives.
Weekdays were for practical combat training inside Gates.
One week passed like that. Then two. Then three.
Three weeks went by.
My stats improved by leaps and bounds.
My combat instincts grew razor-sharp as well, and...
[———Yujin! An S-rank Gate has appeared in Washington, USA! I'm on my way now, so get everything ready within four hours and get to the airport!!]
The opportunity to test my growth arrived soon afterward.