The Emoticon Sword's Threat and a Royal Summons
Wait, could yesterday's ridiculous nightmare—where an unidentified lump of rice cake kept pestering me with ‘Would you like to contract with me?’—actually have had a reason after all?
Did some vital memory vanish into thin air while I was unconscious? Trying desperately to stay calm, I asked, “…Just when did I make a contract with this ‘Belobog’?”
“—As you haven't yet completed my Master Succession Ceremony, Contractor, your security clearance is too low, so I can't tell you (,Ծ_Ծ,)!”
“And what exactly is this Master Succession Ceremony?”
“—It's a designated barrier-sealing virtual simulation arranged by Lord Belobog! If you succeed, you will obtain Security Clearance Level 1 and officially become my master. And after that, once you complete the remainder of the Master Succession Ceremony through Gloriana's Insignia—ta-da! You will attain the final Security Clearance Level 0, and all authority over the powers bestowed by Lord Belobog will be fully transferred to you!”
“…And what is this designated barrier-sealing virtual simulation?”
The sword answered in a chirpy, upbeat voice.
“—It recreates the exact situation in Contractor's consciousness from when Lord Belobog's first contractor, Alcharianus, established the so-called ‘Northern Barrier’! All you have to do is erect the barrier and successfully seal it!”
Let's give up!
That was an ancient tale from the days of the First Emperor and the four—no, five founding heroes! Was this thing completely out of its mind?! Back then, even the most legendary champions capable of flying, running, and crawling across the continent barely managed it by gathering together, putting on a chaotic circus of desperate blunders, and literally summoning a god down to earth just to erect that barrier. Even if it was only a virtual simulation, what on earth did it expect me to do?!
I reached a swift conclusion.
I would simply play the villain who handed a cursed demonic sword over to the Castrein Duchy! I could just tell them never to draw it and dump it in a dark corner of a warehouse. So what if it saddled them with debt or stoked their misunderstandings? Anything was better than dying!
“It was nice knowing you for a brief moment, and let's never see each other again. Goodbye!”
“—Aah! P-Please don't give up, Contractor! I-I didn't mean you have to challenge it all alone! You can challenge it alongside companions of the five elemental affinities and other helpers! 〣(ºΔº)〣”
I narrowed my eyes at its words. This little brat was only spouting things that boiled my blood even more.
“Your contractor doesn't have friends! Doesn't have companions! Doesn't have family—no, I might as well not have any!”
Unable to bring itself to ask someone roaring in sheer lion-like fury, ‘Just how did your life turn out this way?’, the sword expressed its deep pity through kaomojis instead.
“—A-A-Aaaaah…. (இ﹏இ`｡)”
“More to the point, what happens if I fail the Master Succession Ceremony? Do I die?”
“—Th-That's, well, not quite it… but… ummm……. (;´`)>”
Sweating buckets, the sword hesitated to answer. I pressed back in an icy voice.
“Not quite it, but what?”
“…Y-You remain trapped inside the space of your subconscious, unable to leave… until you succeed… (;•͈́༚•͈̀)…”
“That's worse than death! What kind of sword runs a scam like this?! You didn't explain any of that! The moment I grabbed your hilt, you just blurted out, ‘Will you undertake the Master Succession Ceremony?!’ You're completely a demonic sword!”
At my furious outburst, the sword vibrated with a buzzing whine as if wronged. It was noisier than a café order buzzer.
“—B-But in the meantime, the physical body is placed in a suspended state of animation, so technically speaking, it isn't death—”
“Have you ever heard of brain death?! Why make someone a vegetable instead of letting them die cleanly?!”
Ever since earlier, this sword hadn't uttered a single helpful syllable. Sensing my gaze turning progressively frostier, the blade wailed in utter desperation.
“—C-Contractor, that's so meaaan! ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇωஇﾟ)ﾟ｡! B-But with great power comes great responsibility! That's why this kind of trial is absolutely necessary…!”
“Mean? My life, having to suddenly shoulder a nuisance like you, is what's truly mean! I'm returning this great power, so take it back! We're breaking up!”
“—I-I'm a versatile and magnificent sword! Contractor, you'll regret it if you don't keep me by your side! ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚”
Regret my foot. Did it think spamming emoticons solved everything? It was a bigger swindler than a loan shark gouging compound interest!
I was about to sneer, but just in case, I paused to let my mind work.
“Then spill how useful you are while I'm still giving you a chance. Otherwise…”
Right. It was a sentient sword. To transmit emoticons directly into its contractor's mind just from holding its hilt meant it was practically at human intelligence.
Besides, even if its true nature was a demonic blade, it was known as a celebrated masterwork valuable enough for Imperial Consort Cleo to personally secure it. Fearful of a speck of rust on the blade or dust gathering on the scabbard, it had probably been pampered by dedicated attendants handling it with utmost delicacy.
Which meant a threat like this would definitely hit home!
I glared fiercely and leveled an accusing finger at the sword.
“…It's summer! I will bury you deep inside the servants' laundry pit filled with socks that haven't been washed in over a week!”
“—Eeeeeeek! Aaaaaaagh!”
The sword let out a bloodcurdling shriek inside my mind. It was so thoroughly traumatized that it didn't even attach the emoticons it never failed to include whenever it whined.
Well, that made total sense.
Most servants boarding in the imperial palace wore communal uniforms. While garments worn before the imperial family had to be meticulously maintained at all times, trivial sundries like socks were handled through a communal laundry service on a ten-day cycle. In other words, a towering mountain of dirty socks piled up right until wash day. And this wasn't winter—it was midsummer!
Leaving socks tossed aside for just a day or two would already make them reek of putrid sourness!
“If you still won't comply, the next stop is the food waste pit, and after that…”
Terrified out of its wits, the sword rattled off in rapid fire.
“—No, please, merciful and beautiful Contractor! I shall obey your command!”
Right. As a decent human being, I didn't want to resort to the final frontier—the latrine pits.
Seeing the sword meekly acknowledge defeat and prostrate itself, I gave a satisfied nod.
“And turn off those emoticons while I'm still asking nicely. They're giving me a headache.”
“—Yes……”
The sword sniffled.
“—Sniff, sniffle… You're so mean…. I even studied these from an otherworldly dimension just to look good to you, Contractor…”
“Commencing drop into sock hell.”
“—You wanted to know my functions, right?! I possess the ability to read people's simple thoughts and emotions, a so-called ‘navigation’ feature that pinpoints nearby geography and the locations of others, and a ‘Demonic Beast Encyclopedia’ detailing the weaknesses, core locations, and characteristics of every demonic beast! Once you become my true master and can draw upon a hundred percent of my power, far more functions will be unlocked!”
“Oh… That really is useful… What a pity…”
The sword flared up indignantly.
“—Why is it a pity?!”
It was a massive waste!
Every single one of those abilities was something the Castrein Duchy could exploit to the fullest! Especially something like the Demonic Beast Encyclopedia!
Still, in the original novel, everything sailed smoothly to a happy ending even without a bizarre, fraudulent emoticon sword like this, so it should be fine.
Without an ounce of lingering regret, I set the sword down. The voice mumbling inside my head shrank to the faint buzz of a gnat.
“—C-Contractor? Contra—”
Bzzzt. The moment I released the sword, a noise reminiscent of a machine powering down crackled, and the voice vanished entirely.
I carefully wrapped the cloth back around the junction between the hilt and scabbard, fastening it just as it had been. No matter how much the maids looked down on Titania, they wouldn't dare mess with a gift sent by Imperial Consort Cleo intended for the Young Duke of Castrein.
The instant I placed the sword atop the lavish display box it came in, someone knocked at my door. Tap, tap.
Judging by that polite, measured knock…
“Enter.”
“Greetings to Her Noble Highness, Imperial Princess Titania. His August Majesty the Emperor has invited you to dinner this evening.”
“Tell him I shall attend with pleasure and a willing heart.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
A servant sent by the Emperor.
I glanced out the window. Following yesterday, the weather was exceptionally clear. Because it was the season of long daylight, the sun still shone bright, but it was already past three in the afternoon.
Breakfast at eight, lunch at noon, dinner at six—those were the official dining hours of the imperial palace. To an imperial lady who had a mountain of preparations and grooming to attend to, an invitation delivered a mere three hours beforehand was practically equivalent to saying, ‘Screw you.’ In fact, had such a last-minute summons been exchanged between the Imperial Consort and the Empress, it would have been taken as an outright declaration of war.
Yet this came from the Emperor.
Did he intend to discipline the princess who had wrecked half the palace brawling with ‘that’ mad dog of the Castrein family, attempting to crush her spirit like this?
“…As if.”
If he had possessed enough interest to scrutinize the princess and pay her that sort of attention, her personality would never have devolved into such a royal disaster in the first place.
I barely managed to rein in my expression before it froze over with cold disdain. Then, plastering on a look of sheer, unbridled delight, I tugged the bell cord.
Having seen the Emperor's attendant come and go, they would surely rush over faster than light.
Sure enough, unlike their usual sluggish pace, Mary and Sarah came bursting through the door out of breath in less than ten minutes. Facing them, I offered a brilliant, beaming smile.
“I'm going to see Father for dinner tonight! Bring out the prettiest dress, hurry, hurry!”
“Right away, Your Highness!”
“You will be the most radiant princess in the entire Empire!”
Surrendering myself to the flurry of busy hands bustling to dress and adorn me, I slowly closed my eyes and drew a deep breath.
For the first time since waking up in this body, it was time to face its family.