An Aspiring Arsonist
To be perfectly honest, yes, I had an ulterior motive. A purely selfish desire to blow off some steam.
Ever since I woke up as an unwanted, nuisance princess with zero prospects for the future, I hadn't enjoyed a single night of sound sleep. Frustration and stress had been piling up by the hour.
To top it off, I'd had a bizarre dream just last night. Some squishy, white lump of mochi had been wobbling in midair, asking me, "Will you make a contract with me?" I couldn't remember what I'd answered, but still...
In any case, Lisianthus's arrival was an undeniable stroke of luck. I'd successfully taken delivery of the contract item, and I'd confirmed what needed confirming.
The only trouble was the baggage he'd dragged in with him.
For the time being, I couldn't let it slip that my relationship with the Castrein Duchy had improved, that we had a contractual arrangement, or that we were linked in any way whatsoever.
Why else would I have gone out of my way to warn Raymon, telling him I was going to keep acting like a raving lunatic and that he shouldn't pay it any mind?
Yet that hot-headed Lisianthus had marched right in without concocting the slightest excuse, doing exactly as the Duke had ordered him to do...
Was this another test from the Duke? Was he telling me to keep my own reputation in the gutter by my own devices?
Sure, we met today, and we'd likely cross paths now and then in the future, but was I expected to spin the narrative on my own and shout, Look at how terribly we get along! Isn't that a bit harsh of a test for an unloved princess who has neither money, nor power, nor a shred of good standing, Your Grace?
And so, with a contemplative hum, I looked between the charred yew branch, the wide-open garden window, and Lisianthus, my brain working in overdrive.
Then, a delightfully wicked smile spread across my face.
"Let's raise some absolute hell so nobody ever forgets what happens when the two of us cross paths."
Lisianthus's eyes twitched. I grabbed his hand and shoved the half-burnt branch back into his grasp.
"Light it up for me."
"H-Huh?"
Surprisingly compliant, Lisianthus rekindled the flame on the wood. Holding the crackling, sparking branch, I gave an excited little hop and surveyed our surroundings.
The window was remarkably wide. Large enough for a full-grown person to slip out into the garden without drawing the slightest notice.
First, I set the corner of the tablecloth ablaze.
Lisianthus recoiled in absolute horror.
"Y-You—what in the world! What are you doing?!"
"Wahahaha! Look at it burn! Ah-hahaha! Nothing beats wanton property damage!"
"Are you trying to burn the entire Rose Palace to the ground?!"
Are you blind? Do I look like I'm watering the plants here?
"What does it matter to you if I burn down my own palace? Actually, wait, it matters a whole lot! Because your name is going down as the arsonist!"
"What kind of utter bullshit is that?!"
I couldn't fathom why this guy was acting like a paragon of virtue when he'd been the one casually conjuring flames indoors just moments ago. It was only natural, wasn't it? Why else would I have asked him to light the branch?
Two heads are better than one, and it takes two hands to clap.
Even if word of today leaked out, my conscience would remain spotless.
Why?
Because the cause behind Princess Titania's sudden escalation from petty vandalism into full-blown rampage would be blindingly obvious!
Who else could it be but the rabid dog who came charging in to berate the foolish princess for daring to drag his precious older brother back and forth under the guise of an illness?
I might as well help this aspiring arsonist fulfill his destiny a little early.
I danced around the room, waving the fiery brand in the air.
"This is revenge for my cracked skull! Ah-hahahahaha! You pencil-pushing rat in the treasury managing the Rose Palace's budget! You must've had the time of your life skimming funds hand-in-hand with the head maid, haven't you?! I'll slice open your belly and make you cough every copper back up! Hahaha!"
"W-What?! Embezzlement?!"
Every time I opened my mouth, Lisianthus looked ready to faint. Why was he acting so scandalized over every little detail? It wasn't as if he didn't already know Titania was a princess in name only, cast aside and utterly neglected.
Ignoring his bewildered reactions, I forged ahead on my chosen path.
No one could stop me now. Like the solitary horn of a rhinoceros, I would carve my own path of pure havoc!
"Try putting this out, you lazy maids! Because I'm far from finished!"
"Y-You... you crazy... Are you completely out of your mind?! What kind of royal sets fire to their own palace?!"
"The kind standing right in front of you!"
Exactly.
When Titania took a near-fatal plunge from her own balcony, not a single person had so much as breathed a word about repairs.
In that case!
I just had to create a situation where they had no choice but to rebuild!
Dodging past Lisianthus as he lunged to grab me in a panic, I squeezed my body through the wide-open window frame.
Hop!
I vaulted down into the garden. A sea of dull greenery filled my vision. Truly... what an eyesore. For a palace housing an imperial princess, one would expect at least a decent bed of flowers. Instead of merely clicking my tongue in disapproval, I touched the flame to the brush.
"Burn! Burn it all to ash!"
Every time my deranged laughter echoed through the air, Lisianthus's face drained of more color.
Whoosh. The ankle-high hedges caught fire, filling the courtyard with acrid, billowing smoke.
Sorry, gardener!
Sorry, yew trees!
Actually, scratch that—I wasn't sorry to the gardener at all! That scoundrel had taken full advantage of the fact that guests rarely visited the Rose Palace to line his own pockets!
He'd pocketed the coin by selling off expensive flower seeds and planted nothing but evergreen shrubs and cheap weeds year-round!
In fact, nearly seventy percent of the servants assigned to the neglected Rose Palace were spies planted by rival factions, while the remaining thirty percent were powerless dregs who had simply washed ashore here after being discarded elsewhere.
Yet even those who had ended up in the Rose Palace by sheer misfortune had gradually absorbed the toxic habits of the spies around them.
In short, they had all played their part in mistreating the princess, ignoring her, embezzling her stipends, and turning her into an incompetent laughingstock.
Utterly foolish behavior.
At least the planted spies had powerful backers waiting in the wings, even if they were destined to be thrown away once their usefulness ran out.
What I couldn't fathom was why the servants with zero clout and zero backing had thought it wise to look down on an imperial princess.
To sum it up: throughout the entire staff of the Rose Palace, there wasn't a single soul who harbored an ounce of guilt toward the princess or secretly looked out for her!
Let them all suffer a little!
"What do you think you're doing?! You're going to get yourself killed at this rate! Do you think fire is a joke?! Do you have a death wish?!"
Just as I had anticipated, the Rose Palace—shoddily constructed without proper insulation or fireproofing—ignited with frightening speed.
Before long, the exterior walls of the parlor and the adjoining garden terrace looked like a gateway straight into the infernal pits of hell.
Once the flames reached that stage, panicked shrieks erupted from the distance.
"Fire!"
"Heavens! Wasn't Young Master Lisianthus over there?!"
"Your Highness...!"
Hmm, not much time left.
Calculating the moments remaining in my head, I flashed a bright, sunny smile at Lisianthus, who was still staring at me as if I were an alien creature.
"I'm not taking it lightly."
"Then what in the blazes is this madness—"
"Because it's dangerous. Exactly. They didn't bother fixing the balcony even after the princess nearly fell to her death. But if a fire breaks out and puts my life in immediate jeopardy, nobody would ever suspect that the princess set it herself, right?"
I hurled the burning branch away. A crisp, steady crackling filled the air as the dry foliage fed the blaze. I brought my heel down hard on the embers nearest to us, snuffing them out surprisingly easily.
Then, leaning in close, I whispered into Lisianthus's ear. His ear twitched at the sudden proximity.
"When they reconstruct the Rose Palace, sneak some of the duchy's workers into the crew and build me a secret dog-door."
"......"
"I'll settle the bill later. For now, well... as you so eloquently put it, I'm just a mayfly princess at risk of burning to death if someone decides to play with matches."
Lisianthus's eyes went wide. His lips parted as if to say something, but right at that very moment—
"Your Highness!"
A maid's terrified shriek pierced the courtyard.
Without missing a beat, I shoved Lisianthus backward with all my might.
Then, rolling my eyes back in manic fury, I pointed a violently trembling finger straight at him.
"Him! That madman! How dare he try to burn an imperial princess alive! An imperial princess! Just because he's waving around some parlor-trick magic sword!"
"Your Highness!"
"Is there no one there?! He set fire to the imperial palace! He attempted regicide upon a princess of the realm! Seize that traitor this instant!"
As I threw a theatrical fit, thrashing around as though I wanted nothing more than to tear him apart with my bare teeth, horrified maids and attendants rushed in to hold me back. My gaze locked with Lisianthus's.
After a fleeting second of stunned paralysis, an understanding, sharp gleam ignited in his eyes.
Good. Unless you're a complete idiot, you ought to know what role to play by now.
"Your Highness! Please, calm yourself!"
"Someone fetch help! Put out the fire!"
Lisianthus's expression shifted in an instant. His features rearranged into a look so infuriating, arrogant, and obnoxious that anyone would have felt the urge to punch him square in the face.
And his opening line was the crowning masterpiece.
"What is that crazy wench babbling about?! It's her own damn fault for being too clumsy to dodge! She's the one who insulted me, calling me an idiot who couldn't even light a fire with a sword!"
Grinding his teeth as if seething with uncontrollable rage, Lisianthus drew his blade from its sheath.
Fwoosh!
As if on cue, roaring crimson flames erupted along the length of his sword.