Chapter 44
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 39
Chapter Title: Confessions at Dawn
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He didn't even stir when I arrived.
Was he angry? Or maybe he'd fallen asleep with his eyes open?
Knowing my own guilt, I quietly approached and sat down beside him. Only then did Ethan turn his head toward me. It seemed he hadn't been asleep with his eyes open after all.
“...I'm sorry. You should have woken me. Aren't you tired?”
Ethan crossed his arms and laughed, a look of disbelief on his face.
“I went down to check, thinking something had happened. You were sleeping like a log. I thought your snoring was going to bring the ceiling down.”
“I-I was snoring?”
I asked, embarrassed. It was plausible, given how soundly I'd slept.
“I'm kidding. In fact, you were so still and quiet, I thought you were dead.”
“The sun isn't fully up yet. Sir Ethan, you should get at least a little sleep...”
“I don't think I can sleep.”
“Then should I go get some more sleep for you?”
I asked as if I'd been waiting for the chance, and Ethan gave me a look that said, 'What in the world is wrong with you?'
“This is when you're supposed to say, 'Then I'll at least keep you company.'”
“But I don't want to keep you company.”
It feels like I'll just be interrogated again.
“Honestly...”
Ethan looked at me and shook his head as if he couldn't deal with me.
“Did anything happen while I was out?”
“Nothing. No survivors in sight, and the number of monsters seems to be increasing.”
Listening to Ethan, I sat down by the observatory railing. I handed him the water canteen I'd brought.
“I can't tell you how lucky we were to fill the water tank before the town became like this.”
Though we'll have to build a new filter before the tank runs dry.
Ethan took the canteen from me and immediately began to gulp down the water.
“I agree. Being next to you, Miss Cherry, feels like it brings good luck you never had.”
I couldn't very well say, 'That's because I have a rough idea of the future and prepared for it,' so I just smiled.
“What if... what if the entire country is like this? What if the world has ended?”
“That's impossible.”
“Look out there. Did you see how fast people turned into monsters? The infection rate was one hundred percent. The possibility is there.”
Ethan pressed his lips together. Then he leaned his head slightly against the railing and gazed at me.
“Then are you and I the only two people left in the world?”
The way he said it felt incredibly strange.
And saying something like that while looking at me so sexily in that pose is just unfair.
“Don't you think there are other people who survived, hiding somewhere like us?”
At least Aurora will be alive. Along with her men.
“We can only pray that's the case. We have to have that hope, don't we?”
Ethan murmured quietly. To me, it seemed that the one saying those words was the first to have lost hope.
He gazed out toward the town, a thoughtful expression on his face. He exuded a heavy atmosphere, one very different from his usual self.
A moderately uncomfortable silence followed before Ethan carefully spoke again.
“If the end has truly come, and we're the only two left in this world, things could get a little dangerous.”
“There are only two of us left. What could be dangerous?”
“That's why it's dangerous. You seem to trust me, Miss Cherry?”
Ethan bent one knee, resting his arm on it as he looked at me and asked. A rather wicked smile played on his lips. This was probably a test.
Why is he being so cynical? I thought a man with such a strong core would still have his wits about him. But his eyes already look a little unhinged.
Is it because of me...?
I felt the need to help Ethan get a grip. To be precise, let's call it a sense of responsibility.
Ethan needs to remain righteous. Because the Ethan I knew from the novel *Love in a Ruined World* was.
“I trust you.”
“To what extent?”
Is he planning to up the ante?
“As far as I can handle.”
“And what exactly is the part you can handle?”
“Up to the point where my fist doesn't fly?”
In other words, as long as he doesn't piss me off enough to make me throw a punch.
Ethan stared at me blankly, at a loss for words. Then, as if finding the situation absurd, he burst out laughing. His smile, at least, is truly beautiful.
After a moment, he slowly ran his hands over his face and spoke to me.
“I was wondering why, of all people, I was left with you, Miss Cherry. But now I'm glad it was you.”
“Don't insult me to my face.”
“It's a compliment.”
Ethan replied, shaking his head. Still, it was a relief to see some life return to his eyes.
I raised the binoculars and surveyed the town again. We should move once the sun is fully up.
But Ethan's confession-like "what ifs" were not over yet.
“If the world were to end tomorrow, what would I say to people as my last words? I've had thoughts like that. Not that I actually wanted this to happen.”
I never imagined someone like Ethan would have such thoughts. As I tilted my head in confusion, Ethan asked me again.
“Doesn't everyone imagine things like that? Am I the only one?”
“Yes. I think you're the only one, Sir Ethan. I don't.”
I'd thought of famous quotes like, 'If I knew the world was ending tomorrow, I would plant an apple tree,' but I never indulged in such sentimental fantasies. When I thought about the world ending, my only thought was that I needed to build a bunker quickly.
“Miss Cherry, you are...”
Ethan trailed off and then fell silent.
“What is it? Why are you trailing off? You're making me look weird.”
“I've just never met anyone who thinks as one-dimensionally as you.”
“Insulting me again.”
“I told you, it's a compliment.”
“It's an insult.”
“It's probably happier to live like you than to have a complicated mind.”
“I was living happily. Past tense.”
Before I remembered my past life, before the world ended, I was happy.
I turned to face Ethan, leaning my back against the railing.
Did his earlier comment mean that Ethan himself had a complicated mind? That was a little surprising. Judging by his appearance and behavior, he didn't seem like the type to live so complexly.
'Then again, choosing to become a police officer instead of inheriting the Lancaster dukedom is a complicated way to live.'
“Do you have a complicated mind, Sir Ethan? You're different from how you look. Is that why you were unhappy?”
“I wasn't unhappy. I just had a lot of complaints.”
Ethan's expression was calm as he faced me. At the same time, it was a face that seemed to hide many stories.
'The novel didn't mention much about Ethan's past...'
That was to be expected. Ethan wasn't a male lead candidate; he was in the position of the female lead's older brother.
“What did you have so many complaints about? Most people would kill to be the heir to the Lancaster family.”
“That was my complaint. The fact that I was the heir to the Lancaster family.”
What is he talking about now?
“My father is a great man. At least, that's what I grew up believing until five years ago.”
Five years ago was when Aurora was adopted. Did he become rebellious because a girl he'd never met suddenly became his sister?
“Duke Lancaster still has an excellent reputation, doesn't he?”
“Publicly, yes. It was a perfect mask, one that completely fooled even me, his own son.”
“A mask...?”
I don't think this was in the original story. Aurora's family situation was never mentioned.
“He doesn't get his own hands dirty, but he's involved in all sorts of crimes and illegal incidents.”
Ethan spoke so casually of his family's shame—his own shame—which others would have hidden.
It left me a little flustered. Was it okay for him to tell me this? I'm Cherry Sinclair, after all.
“Is that why you became a police officer?”
Ethan nodded.
“You could say I ran away like a coward.”
“That was conscientious of you. At least you didn't turn a blind eye. Unlike me.”
I also knew the Sinclair family committed many illegal acts to expand its business and make money.
But unlike Ethan, I had no conscience. I didn't care about the suffering or opinions of others; I pursued only my own happiness.
Ethan stared at me. He didn't say anything, but I'm sure he, too, was thinking about the many things involving the Sinclair family.
Finally, he let out a sigh and spoke.
“I'm not that conscientious myself. I couldn't bring myself to take down my own father, so I just left and tried to atone elsewhere.”
Like an idiot.
He said the last part so quietly, I wasn't sure if I heard it correctly. In any case, Ethan's tone was nonchalant.
“I'm telling you this because you seem to misunderstand me as some virtuous police officer. My intentions for joining were impure from the start... The Lancaster blood runs deep, after all.”
“Regardless of how it started or what your intentions were, the people you've helped are grateful to you, Sir Ethan.”
I'd chosen my words carefully, but they didn't seem to offer much comfort. He continued in a low voice.
“It was just a promise to myself. To lock up people like my father. So that one day...”
Ethan didn't finish his sentence. But I had a pretty good idea of the words he swallowed.
He was planning to bring down Duke Lancaster one day, wasn't he?
“I thought you were a person like my father. That's why I disliked you, Miss Cherry.”
“...Wait, you're just going to attack me out of nowhere?”
He even said I was like his father. I don't know much about Duke Lancaster, but it felt quite insulting. It was a new experience, being told by a man that I resembled his father.