Run Away, Ideal

"Kuh…!!"

Ashu collapsed to one knee.

It was the obvious result. His limping leg. The mild concussion from the shrapnel. No matter how drained I was, the fight was never even possible in the first place.

"…Not yet, not yet."

"Disciple…"

Ashu tried to stand on trembling legs but lost his balance. I barely made it in time, rushing over to catch him as he pitched forward. My chest cushioned the fall, soft and gentle.

"…Don't go."

Half-carried in a princess hold, Ashu pleaded like his life depended on it.

"If even you, if even you are gone…"

Right. Honestly, even I could see Ashu was in a seriously unstable state right now. If I vanished, he might suffer for a good while.

But there was no choice.

…If I don't escape now, I can't.

Ashu was tough as nails. Even without someone like me, he'd eventually stand on his own two feet.

The duke-less duchy in chaos? Sihan and Ashu could handle it together just fine.

And I asked Byrn just in case.

But if I didn't disappear? That changed everything.

In the end, it turned out just like the duke said at the beginning.

I'd tried to brainwash Ashu and poison Sihan, driven mad by war-induced psychosis. That would probably be the new charge added on.

But it doesn't matter.

…And.

For Ashu's sake too, it was best if he cut ties with me completely. I didn't know exactly what "loss of life force" meant. But one thing was clear: the original Ideal was a monster that could never be set free.

Even while her consciousness slumbered, I could vaguely sense it. I was a walking time bomb.

If I stay by Ashu's side, it'll definitely get used.

Thinking ahead to future events, there'd be plenty of incidents at the academy. I couldn't rely on possession every time.

So, regretfully, I had to stay far away.

"Take good care of my disciple, Your Highness."

Byrn sighed and waved a hand at my words.

"Don't go…"

Ashu grabbed my hem. His desperate grip felt as heavy as a stake driven into the ground.

As if sensing the farewell, Ashu's face began to twist in agony.

"Please, please don't go. Master…"

My heart plummeted with a thud. Warm tears slid from the corners of his eyes, down his cheek, soaking my arm.

He'd never called me that before, no matter how much I'd asked. Why say it now?

"The wish I got as a reward for winning the subjugation battle… I'll use it now. Please, please don't leave me…"

Guilt coiled tight around my conscience. I bit my lip hard against the lump rising in my throat.

"I'm sorry, disciple…"

I gently laid Ashu down and unwound my scarf to wrap it around his neck. Kids are sensitive to emotions. A blank white canvas makes any color stand out.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

So, I should paint it as brightly as possible. Like the old me—clueless, foolish, beaming like an idiot.

"See you later."

I stroked his forehead once, then pressed my lips to it.

"You too, Your Highness. See you later."

"Uh, uh, yeah."

The prince answered awkwardly, flustered.

"…I'll find you."

Ashu bit his lip, glaring at me like he wanted to devour me whole.

"No matter where you are, no matter what you look like, I'll find you somehow."

A chill ran down my spine at the hollow void in his eyes. But for some reason, I felt the urge to provoke him. Was it because it was the end? Or maybe, deep down, I hoped he'd actually find me.

"If you can find me, then do it. I'll be waiting."

My lips curved into a grin. Leaving Ashu's darkened expression behind, I murmured softly.

"…Appearance change."

In an instant, my features shifted to those of an ordinary village woman. I turned back for one last bow, then stepped out of the duke's estate.

"…Goodbye, disciple."

Total service: three months. Short as it was, it felt like an unforgettable experience from both my past and present lives.

"…Hah."

"Awake, you little shit?"

As Ashu opened his eyes, Byrn stood there with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠arms crossed.

He looked worn out, faint shadows under his eyes.

"…How many days has it been?"

"About a week."

"—This isn't the time. I need to find Ideal right—urk."

Ashu tried to bolt up but winced, clutching his leg.

"Hey, take it easy. Recovery first."

"…No. I can't."

Byrn clutched his head and took a deep breath.

"You gonna go hunting Ideal in that condition? What, suicide mission?"

"…"

Ashu clamped his mouth shut. Byrn was right.

His thigh, pierced by shrapnel, showed no signs of quick healing. His rattled brain was even worse.

"…If you drop dead chasing her, you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠think Ideal would be happy?"

"But—!"

Ashu bristled to argue—just as the door creaked open slowly with a groan of hinges.

"…You."

"You're lucid again."

Sihan leaned against the doorframe, looking prickly.

"…Fast recovery."

"That's my line, Ashu Kan Hart."

Sihan had clearly been poisoned, yet he showed no aftereffects now.

"—I heard about the duke. For now, I'm acting as family head."

"…What about Ideal?"

The duke? Family head? None of that mattered. He desperately needed news of Ideal.

Sihan hesitated, looking troubled, then groaned.

"…She killed the Northern Duke and tried to off his successor. If caught, it's the death penalty at minimum."

Ashu's heart sank. Death? Ideal? His chest felt like it was plunging into ocean depths, heavy and dark.

A razor-sharp obsession whispered sweetly to him. What if I just kill everyone in the household? Then it wouldn't matter. And if I become duke…

Sensing the ominous aura from Ashu, Byrn jumped in.

"She'll be cleared soon enough. Don't worry too much. If it weren't for Ideal, she'd have taken you both out."

Byrn's words fell on deaf ears. Ashu's blue eyes coldly fixed on Sihan.

"Sihan Kan Hart. So the household's dispatching troops?"

"…Yeah. Sorry, but on principle, I can't stop it. All we can do is pray she evades capture."

Sihan had only learned after waking that the duke tried to poison him—and that Ideal stopped it.

Frankly, the shock of her being a criminal had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠his head spinning.

"I'll prove her innocence somehow—Sihan too—"

"I said it already."

"…What?"

"I promised her I'd find her somehow."

Ashu gazed out the window. The snow-blanketed north looked as barren as a desert. Ideal was probably out there.

…But not now.

To save her, he needed to get stronger first. So nothing like this would happen again.

He couldn't let Ideal sacrifice herself for him anymore.

And so she could never run again.

…I finally get it.

This wasn't damn jealousy. Or well, same breed, different beast.

"…I wanted to have her."

"What?"

Byrn's eyes widened slightly at Ashu's murmur.

"I wanted to have Ideal."

"…Hah."

Byrn let out an exasperated sigh. Sihan looked like he'd expected it.

…After what happened last time.

Just recalling Ashu baring his teeth still made his legs weak. That obsession defied words.

"Promises aren't meant to be broken first."

Sorry doesn't cut it—if apologies fixed everything, why have laws?

Ashu's sunken gaze wouldn't leave the window.

"You really gonna find her, you little shit…?"

Byrn pressed Ashu, who nodded silently.

"But Ideal's good at disguises, right? You saw it."

"I can find her."

Not a shred of doubt.

He remembered asking her, when she got her first paycheck, what she'd do with tons of money.

…I'll find you no matter what.

No matter what you're doing, what you look like.

I'll drag you back.

But when I catch you someday far in the future.

—You'd better look forward to it, my master.

A faint smile ghosted across Ashu's face.

…Run away, Ideal.

Byrn and Sihan watched him, silently wishing Ideal peace in their hearts—hoping above all she never got caught by him.