Memory
"Meow..."
"...Another cat dream, huh? Nice."
Lately, I've been having a lot of cat dreams for some reason. Lucid ones, at that.
For someone like me who loves cats to the point of madness, it's the best thing imaginable.
The only comfort for my utterly exhausted mind is this dream world overflowing with cats.
...No, from now on, I should vent a little to Kania.
Honestly, I wanted to keep pretending I didn't know she'd figured me out... but I'm just too damn lonely for that.
No offense to the cat doll, but I can't keep pouring my heart out to a toy that only meows forever.
"Meow?"
As I thought that, the cat in front of me tilted its head and padded over to my feet.
"...Huh?"
Looking closer, it was one of my most treasured possessions lately: the black cat doll, staring at me with half-lidded eyes.
Realizing the meowing had come from my beloved doll, I greeted it happily but hesitated, wondering if it had read my mind. Cautiously, I asked,
"Uh... you didn't peek into my thoughts, did you?"
"Hiss!"
The cat doll pouted, bared its teeth, and whipped its head away.
Feeling awkward, I scratched my head and muttered,
"Yeah, makes sense. You're part of my dream, so of course you'd know my thoughts."
"Meow."
"Sorry... Let me rub your belly instead... Wait, am I the one who likes that?"
After apologizing to the cat doll for a while, I glanced around and frowned.
"...This place feels familiar."
Surveying the strangely nostalgic street, I retraced my thoughts until I spotted a little kid approaching from afar. My eyes widened as I whispered,
"...That's young me?"
For some reason, child-me was holding someone's hand and walking this way.
Instinct told me to hide, so I ducked behind a wall. The cat doll scurried after me.
Peeking out, I saw child-me stop, point somewhere, let go of the hand, and run off.
"Damn. Of all the..."
In that instant, I understood what was happening.
"W-Who are you?"
"Why are you lying there like that? Are you hurt?"
I was dreaming of the day I first met Perloché.
"I-It's... um..."
Filthy and sprawled on the street, Perloché looked up at child-me with terrified eyes.
Seeing her like that brought back today's Perloché from the cathedral, glaring at me with contempt.
"...Ugh."
Fearing the dream Perloché would change too, I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my ears. But for some reason, I could still see clearly and hear everything.
"Here, eat this."
"What's this...?"
"A potion. It'll make you feel better."
Perloché took the top-grade potion from child-me warily and asked,
"Who... are you?"
"Frey Raon Starlight, first son of the Starlight Duke's family."
"Why are you being nice to me?"
"........."
Child-me pondered seriously, chin in hand. Perloché eyed him suspiciously, then smirked coldly, as if she'd expected it.
"I knew it... If I drink this, you'll kidnap me or something, right? I don't need your stupid potion. Take it back."
At that point, I tilted my head in confusion.
...This doesn't match my memory.
In my recollection, Perloché should have looked dumb, thanked him, and gulped it down.
Why was the dream different?
"Why can't I be nice to you?"
"...Huh?"
Child-me beamed innocently. Perloché looked flustered.
"What do you...?"
"You're hurt, so I'm helping. What's wrong with that?"
"........."
Perloché fell silent. Child-me pulled out two more potions, handed them over, and pointed to the distant cathedral.
"There's a cathedral over there! They'll take care of you!"
"...The cathedral isn't trustworthy. Some of my friends went there and disappeared."
"...Gasp."
Child-me blinked in shock, then hesitantly offered,
"...Then, wanna come to my house?"
"See! You are a human trafficker!"
"What's that?"
"You don't even know? It's bad people who kidnap kids like me and sell them!"
".....?"
After listening to her furious rant, child-me heard someone calling from afar and started saying goodbye.
"...Sorry, I gotta go."
"W-Wait! Where do you think you're going, you trafficker?!"
"If you have nowhere to go, head to that cathedral. It's safe—I go there a lot!"
"That's your plan, isn't it?!"
"...See ya!"
Child-me trotted off cheerfully. Perloché stared at the potions, then yelled after him as he walked away.
"J-Just you wait! If this makes a field mouse react weird, I'll expose the Starlight family's crimes to the world!"
After fuming, she muttered glumly,
"...I'm out of food anyway. Maybe I should go to the cathedral."
And then, the world froze.
"...What the?"
Me and the black cat doll beside me looked around in panic. Suddenly, a dazzling light poured from right next to us.
"...Ugh."
I squinted at the brilliance, but oddly, it didn't hurt my eyes. I tilted my head.
"M-Meow..."
".....?"
The cat doll trembled, hid behind me, and peeked out glaring at the light.
"...What's wrong, kitty?"
"...Meow."
Staring at the dejected doll, I sensed a presence ahead and instinctively reached for my waist... but no sword. It was a dream, after all.
"Calm down."
"...Whoa!"
As the cat doll and I backed away, a human figure emerged from the light.
"...Who are you?"
"The thought body dwelling in your sword. I've used up all my power and will vanish soon. Just know that much for now."
"...Huh?"
A vaguely familiar-looking man stepped out, spouting nonsense.
"I've tried interfering since ancient times, but as a thought body, I lacked strength."
"...Lack of strength?"
"Yeah. But your recent experience weakened your subconscious defenses, so I finally succeeded in showing you the memory I wanted. Lucky."
".....?"
I stared blankly. He smiled, drew his sword from his waist.
"Wait, what are you—"
-ZZZING!
"......!"
The sky split open.
"W-What... are you...?"
I collapsed, pale, trembling as I asked. He pointed skyward indifferently.
"Forget that. Look up. Important foreshadowing."
"...!?"
The sun was cleaved in half.
As I gaped, he began fading. Desperately, I asked,
"So, what is that?"
"Jeez..."
He scratched his head, left one last word, and shattered into particles.
"...Just memorize it."
Darkness engulfed the world.
Panicking, I scooped up the trembling cat doll and looked around, then noticed something odd.
"...Perloché?"
Child Perloché, potions in hand, was staring at me.
"...Frey."
"W-What is this... Eek...!"
Approaching cautiously, I recoiled and fell on my butt.
"It... hurts..."
"A-Ah..."
Perloché was impaled with Demon King army weapons, weeping blood tears.
"...It hurts so much, I feel like I'm dying."
"No, no no... Why show me this again... I never wanted to see it... I tried so hard not to remember... It never appeared in dreams before...?"
"Frey..."
"Why, why...?"
Trembling at the nightmare I'd sworn never to relive, Perloché twisted her neck grotesquely, lunging close to whisper,
"...It's all because of you. Why pretend you don't know?"
"H-Hii..."
Frozen in horror, someone tapped my shoulder.
"Young master Frey..."
A voice like the princess's murmured in my ear,
"...Was gutting my belly satisfying?"
"U-Ugh..."
Head bowed, refusing to look, two voices spoke from behind.
"...Young master, give up already."
"...Give up and rest easy, Frey. Don't fight to the end like me."
Hearing Kania stab her throat and Serena's soft voice, I bit my lip. Then, eerie sensations gripped my legs.
Looking down, Isolet and Father clutched them, bleeding from eyes, smirking coldly.
".....Ugh."
I squeezed my eyes shut, thrashed—but despite the pitch black, they grew clearer, mocking me grotesquely.
"G-Get away! Go away!!"
For some reason, terror overwhelmed me. Horrible, yes—but this intense? My mental fortitude should...
"Wh-What...?"
Suddenly, I was dragged somewhere. Looking around, dream beings had multiplied behind me, pitch-black darkness pulling me in.
Somehow, entering that void felt irreversible.
"...Ngh!"
"MEEEEOW!!"
I clawed the ground, resisting. The black cat doll bit my leg, tugging back.
But outnumbered—or maybe subconsciously wanting to quit?—despite shredded hands, I slid toward the darkness.
"M-MEEEEOW!!"
Desperate, the doll released my leg and bolted somewhere.
"...At least you survive."
Sighing, I let go. The beings grinned hideously, shoving me into the abyss.
What happens in there? Wake up normally? Or fall like them?
Dunno. Right now, I just want to quit and rest...
-BOOM!!
"...Huh?"
As darkness slowly swallowed me, distant sparkling lights illuminated the street.
I thought the mystery guy returned, but no—the light scattered differently. Particles, radiant, unlike before.
"Grrr."
The particles burst, beaming rays that turned dream beings to black dust.
-Shhh...
The encroaching darkness melted away. Particles burrowed into me, dissolving the fear.
"Meow."
Bewildered, I heard the cat doll ahead. It was dragging someone by the ankle toward me.
"K-Kitty... Don't bite people's ankles..."
Stopping mid-scold, I stared at her.
...The one holding young me's hand earlier?
Familiar. She clenched her outstretched hand.
-Whoosh...
Particles vanished.
".....!"
Then I knew who she was.
"If the Sunrise Imperial Family is the sun illuminating the empire's dawn, and the Moonlight Duke's family the moon softly lighting its night..."
I rushed to her, who smiled nostalgically and spoke.
"...then the Starlight Duke's family are the stars protecting those the lights miss."
"M-Mom...?"
She dissolved into countless star particles, leaving final words before vanishing.
"...So you're a noble child, trying to protect everyone. Frey."
"Mother......?"
Next instant, I awoke in the dormitory bed, arm outstretched, murmuring a word unused since childhood.
".........."
Dazed for a while, I gently set down the clutched black cat doll and glanced sideways.
"........."
Confirming Kania still slept, I slipped out quietly, fearing I'd wake her, and headed to the desk.
-Pat pat...
Sitting, I poured the remaining liquor into a glass.
"...Fucking hell."
I drank alone until dawn. My mood didn't improve at all.
.........
"Y-Young master. Are you alright?"
Morning came. Kania rushed to Frey at the desk.
"...Awake? Kania?"
"Young master, is something wrong with your body?"
"...Why ask?"
Frey tilted his head. Kania rolled her eyes, whispered low,
"I... heard screams at dawn."
"...Oh, that."
Frey forced a smile.
"...Just a nightmare."
"........."
Kania stepped back stiffly.
"Then... I'll fetch breakfast."
"...Yeah."
As she bit her lip and turned to leave, Frey called softly,
"...Kania."
Her voice trembled, so she turned worriedly.
"...What is it?"
Gripping crumpled paper, Frey asked cautiously,
"...Suppose you devoted your life to a prophecy written on one sheet, believing it your fate."
"Yes."
"But... what if, just if, that prophecy was wrong?"
Kania smiled pityingly.
"Don't worry. That prophecy isn't wr—"
"...It's deviated twice already."
"Pardon...?"
Frey's hand shook holding the paper. Kania stiffened.
"What do you mean...?"
"The penalty on the main heroines' memories, fine... but Perloché's past? What happened? The prophecy clearly said..."
"...Young master?"
"Something's wrong... terribly wrong..."
Frey crumpled the prophecy book, tossed it into his bag, and muttered weakly.
"If I can't even trust the prophecy... what do I believe? The system? No... the system's the one who made me like this... So what the hell do I believe...?"
"...Frey."
"Can't even trust my own memories now... What do I believe...?"
Kania approached, embraced him gently, whispered,
"Young master, you can believe in me."
"........."
"...I'm your loyal servant."
They clung together for a long time. Morning sunlight streamed through the window, mercilessly illuminating them.