The Saintess's Blackmail

"...You're saying I should become your personal maid?"

"Yes! From now on, you'll be my personal maid and serve me faithfully for the rest of your life until you die!"

"......."

When I asked in a dumbfounded tone, the saintess pointed at me with a triumphant expression and declared it once more.

The corners of her mouth twitched smugly.

"Does that mean I'm a woman?"

"Yes! You are a woman!"

"...Why?"

According to the Prophecy Book, arguing with the saintess could lead straight to a bad ending. But if I didn't ask now, things might spiral out of control, so I took the risk.

She crossed her arms, put on an arrogant look, and opened her mouth.

"Hmph, playing hard to get, huh...? Fine! Then... I'll tell you the reasons!"

With that, she held up three fingers and looked down at me.

"There are three reasons why you're a woman!"

"...Three reasons?"

"Yes! Let's start with the first one!"

She folded down one finger and began.

"First, you've already confessed to me that you're a woman!"

"...I did?"

"Yes! Back in that hallway!"

"...Ah."

Only then did I piece together this tear-jerking mishap.

It seemed the pure saintess had taken my lie—testing the Lie Enhancement skill while passing through the corridor—as the truth.

I'd been too busy with other matters and figured she wouldn't believe it seriously, so I'd let it slide...

I'd clearly overestimated Perloché's intelligence.

"That was a joke."

"Ha... Excuses won't work now! And that's not the only reason!"

She scoffed at my pitiful expression and folded down a second finger.

"The second reason... is your delicate appearance!"

"...What does that mean?"

I tilted my head, and she narrowed her eyes.

"That pretty face of yours... is clear proof that you're a beauty in disguise!"

"..........."

"How about that? Hit the nail on the head, right? My deduction was spot on!"

I stared at the smug saintess, suddenly tempted to flick her forehead.

But that would be genuine evil with no Villainy Points, so I held back and asked my final question to the still-shrugging girl.

"...So, what's the last reason?"

"The last reason... I'll make right here!"

With that, she tossed a white stone at me.

"...What's this?"

"Just as I thought... This confirms it...!"

I caught it reflexively and tilted my head. She grinned triumphantly.

"That stone turns black if an impure person touches it!"

"Turns black?"

"Yes! The bishops make me hold it all the time, so I'm sure!"

Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she slowly stood and approached me.

"Frey Raon Starlight... You keep women around you every day, yet claim to be pure because..."

"...Because?"

She stopped right in front of me and pointed accusingly.

"You're a woman, so you can't embrace them!"

Silence fell over the cathedral.

"...You sure know a lot about that stuff."

I muttered without thinking, impressed that she knew about sex despite everything.

"Of course! The nuns warned us that going to the academy in that state would be disastrous, so they taught us for years! I remember it clearly!"

"...Sigh."

Hearing her follow-up, I prayed she wouldn't go around claiming she'd regressed, then glanced at the white stone in my hand, lost in thought.

'For a saintess, she put some brainpower into this... but it's still full of holes.'

My left arm was wrapped in bandages to hide the black rot from over-absorbing Kania's black magic last night.

Naturally, the bandages covered my left hand too—the one holding the stone.

In other words, her purity tester wasn't working.

"Here!"

Meanwhile, she scooped up the maid outfit from the floor, eyes gleaming, and held it out.

I had no idea why she'd thrown it earlier if she was going to do this.

"Put this on and clean the entire cathedral!"

"Wait..."

"Then pray the purification rite with me! After that, confession! Then..."

"...Enough already?"

With no time for her antics, I spoke coldly. Her eyes widened.

"A-Are you scared of the truth coming out?! Keep this up and I'll tell the academy students your secret, po, po..."

"...Expose it."

"Yes! I'll expose it!"

I met her growing fury with an icy reply.

"Fine, do it."

"...Pardon?"

"I said, expose it."

"......?"

I turned toward the exit. She panicked, rushed over, and grabbed me.

"D-Don't go!"

"...Let go."

"If you go, I'll expose you're a woman...!"

"...How many times do I have to say it? I'm a man."

"B-But..."

"I'm busy. I don't have time to play with a girl like you. Let go and get back to your seat."

Suppressing my rising irritation, I gave her a final warning. Suddenly, she trembled and spoke.

"Why... why do you keep lying...?"

"Sigh... If you bother me more, I'll formally complain to the church..."

"Stop lying!!!"

She rushed forward and...

"Lying is a grave sin against the Sun God... Huh...?"

"......!!!"

Grabbed it.

""............""

Silence reigned again.

"...What's this?"

The saintess, gripping my crotch, tilted her head and looked up at me questioningly.

"...A man's dick."

Her face flushed crimson as she stammered.

"Th-That... then... you're really... a, a man...?"

"...How long are you gonna hold it?"

"Eeeeek!!"

I swatted her hand away in exasperation. She recoiled, then channeled divine power into her hands and screamed.

"S-Sun God!! Forgive my sins and save me from evil!!"

"...No apology to me?"

"S-Sorry...! No, I can't apologize to you... B-But it was my fault... Ugh..."

I gave ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her a pitiful look as she babbled, face still red. I turned to leave, but...

...the exit was locked.

"...Hm?"

Confused, I turned to ask Perloché what was going on, but...

"Frey... you're really... not a woman...?"

Her expression had turned cold as she approached.

I reached for my sword at my waist, but...

"Are you really not?!?!"

"Gah!!"

Before I could draw, she grabbed my throat and slammed me down.

The Solar God's Blessing shone in full force—my 1v1 skills couldn't match it.

"Cough...! What... the hell... are you..."

Barely holding onto consciousness against her overwhelming strength, I rasped. She bit her lip and spoke slowly.

"If you're... not a woman... no weakness... then I have to kill you..."

"...What?"

"I met... people like me... agreed to cooperate... but it was all pointless..."

"What... are you..."

"...I saw the future."

Clinging to fading awareness, I focused. Her words about seeing the future made me shut my eyes tight.

"The future... what future..."

"You... destroying this empire... the world..."

Now sniffling, she tightened her grip.

"In that future... I tried everything to make you repent..."

"Cough... cough..."

"I visited you daily, preached the Sun God's teachings... prayed every night for your repentance... endured kicks when stopping your evil, begging you..."

"Ugh..."

"But you shattered the empire... plunged its people into suffering."

Tears streamed down her face; her hands shook as she continued.

"Foolish, ignorant puppet that I was... I could only watch you ruin everything..."

"Guh..."

"So when I found your fatal weakness—maybe it could change that future—I was overjoyed."

Unable to endure, I grabbed her hands to speak, but she only squeezed harder.

"Maybe... this loop... before that future... using your weakness... I could make unrepentant you repent..."

"So... the woman nonsense..."

"But even that... was my stupid, idiotic delusion."

Eyes squeezed shut, tears falling, she continued hoarsely.

"So... I'm fated to kill you after all. Mr. Frey..."

"W-Wait..."

"For the empire... its people... and to save your soul from hell... this is the only way..."

Guilt-ridden, she forced a bright smile.

"After killing you... ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I'll end myself. Even if you're the future empire-destroyer... killing for unproven crimes is sin."

"Urk..."

"...But in the afterlife, I'll help you repent to the end."

She poured all her strength into breaking my neck.

"...Hic."

Feeling the snap through her hands, Perloché trembled with guilt, then clasped her hands and prayed silently.

"Sun God, please accept this unworthy soul who broke your teachings... forgive the empire, and Frey..."

Finishing, she whispered, hand to her throat.

"...He was once a good person."

I blacked out briefly, then snapped awake as the system window appeared. I saw Perloché gripping her throat, murmuring pitifully...

"May you keep... your pure self... in the next life..."

"Yeah! I'm actually a woman!!"

"Hic!!"

I yelled desperately.

"...Why aren't you dead?!"

Her jaw dropped before she panicked. I averted my eyes, pondering my answer.

"...A neck crack doesn't always kill."

"...Gasp."

She froze with a dumb look, then teared up and approached again.

"S-Sorry...! I-I'm so stupid, I didn't know...! Did it hurt...?"

"N-No... Not really..."

"I'll break it properly now, just wait...!"

"No, I'm a woman! I really am!!"

Terrified by her fiery approach, I waved frantically. She frowned.

"But... then what was that long thing earlier..."

"...Fake! Fake! I attached it to pretend to be a man!"

Desperate to avoid another snap, I lied convincingly.

She flinched and asked again.

"...Then your voice?"

"Huh?"

"Thinking back... Your voice is too deep for a woman..."

"...I modulate it!"

"What's your real voice like?"

As she eyed me suspiciously, I focused ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠star mana on my throat for a frail, girly tone.

"...This is my real voice."

".....!!!"

She stared in shock, then beamed.

"...Good! You have a weakness again!"

"...Yeah."

I nodded quietly. She wiped her tears.

"Then... come to the cathedral after academy every day! I'll make you repent!"

"No... that's..."

"It's an order! You have a 'weakness' I hold now...?"

"Sigh, fine... Wait, hold on."

"...Yes?"

Planning to escape and complain officially, a sudden thought stopped me.

'Using the church would tank her position massively...'

Right now, despite her idiocy, the church still treated her as a proper saintess.

But corrupt bishops and the pope were plotting to strip her power for themselves.

If I got church help now... short-term win, long-term disaster.

Attempted murder and insult by a Starlight heir—unforgivable, even for a saintess.

'Should I play along? No, that's problematic too...'

Without church aid, I'd handle it myself: subdue by force or obey.

Both issues.

Forcing her down? Near impossible. Needed awakened Hero's Armament for Solar God's Blessing. Unless killing intent, no win.

Killing her? Game over, against my beliefs.

So, obey? No way I'd wear that cute maid outfit. I'm the hero, not a maid.

Plus, her "repentance" sessions would trigger penalties.

True dilemma.

"...Why the troubled face?"

"Oh, well... you see..."

Sweating as I pondered, Perloché peeked cautiously.

To buy time, I asked about something odd from earlier.

"...You said you met 'people like you' and agreed to cooperate? What did you mean?"

"...Pardon?"

"And it was all pointless? Explain."

"Ah... that..."

She started to answer thoughtlessly, then grew wary.

"Wh-Why ask now!?"

"Oh... your intelligence did improve a bit."

"Pardon? What did you..."

"I mean... as your lifelong maid, I want to know every ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠detail."

My lie eased her guard; she lit up.

"Aha! Got it! Still suspicious since it's you, Frey... but feels true, so I'll tell you!"

"...Sure."

"There are others like me who saw the future!"

"......"

Doubting but listening, I shut my eyes and clutched my head.

'They've already allied.'

Main heroines uniting early? Headache incoming. Needed countermeasures now.

'And she's spilling this happily? Insane.'

Never ally with Perloché.

"...Can you tell me who?"

"...No!"

I probed; she shook her head fiercely.

"Lady Clana said never to tell!"

"...Clana?"

"Yes! She insisted, over and over... Ngh...!"

She blurted it effortlessly.

"...Pretend I didn't hear. Continue."

"Th-Thank you! Anyway, I met them by chance and tried cooperating."

"...Cooperate on what?"

"Destroying and killing you, Frey!"

"........"

Didn't expect such candor... She's like a giving tree.

"Got it. But why pointless?"

"Ah... well..."

I nodded; she spoke glumly.

"Recently, I got a divine oracle from the Sun God asking if what I'm doing is right..."

"...Oracle?"

"Yes... But the Sun God said it's wrong..."

I frowned; she brightened.

"So! Even cooperating, we can't beat you! I decided to act alone!"

"...Yeah."

"My brilliant deduction found your weakness... Blackmailing you to repent and change the future! Oracles are always right!"

"Sigh..."

Should I blame her twisted oracle interpretation or the incomprehensible Sun God? I sighed and tapped the brooch on my chest.

Time to be the villain again.

"Explanation over? Then put on the maid outfit and start cleaning..."

"...Huh?"

Perloché, holding the maid outfit triumphantly, tilted her head as the brooch replayed her words.

"......!"

Her dangerous slip made her panic.

"Wh-What are you doing...?"

"What else? Blackmail."

"B-Blackmail...?"

I glared coldly at her trembling voice.

"The empire's third princess and saintess plotting murder...?"

"W-Wait..."

"Me, the Starlight duke's heir...?"

"H-Hiiik...!"

She shook, then yelled defiantly.

"If that's how it is...! I'll reveal you're a woman...!"

"Sorry, I'm a man."

"No, earlier you said woman!"

"Lie. You felt it yourself—can't fake that easily."

"Ugh!!"

Cold sweat beaded as she hardened her expression.

"Then... you die here..."

"Killing's fine... but this recording goes nationwide?"

"...Pardon?"

She panicked; I caressed the brooch.

"This brooch... records and transmits."

"...Transmits?"

"Already sent to my subordinates. I ordered: if I die or vanish, release worldwide."

"L-Liar!"

Pure lie, of course. This 'recording brooch'—one of three I always wear with the life force and death oath ones—only records.

No transmit; too costly.

'Glad I wear these. Saved my ass again.'

Habit from past loops. Wanted more functions, but the craftsman Isolet beat up in the back alleys was still missing.

Delay that.

"Don't believe? Try snapping."

Regretfully swallowing, I offered my neck.

"...Ugh!"

"I'll die... but you and poor third princess won't escape. Still wanna?"

"Ughhh...!"

She glared furiously, then drooped.

"...I lose."

"What?"

"I lost! Damn you, Frey!!"

Sniffling, she spoke.

"Door's open—get out! Pretend this never happened..."

"...No. Why pretend?"

"Y-Yes...?"

I smirked slyly, stroked her chin softly, and whispered.

"...Now it's your turn to be blackmailed."

"...Hic!"

Trembling in terror, she stared. I handed her the fallen maid outfit.

"Put it on."

"...Pardon?"

"I said put it on."

"H-Here...?"

I nodded at her shock, smiling.

"...You're my personal maid now."

Face full of shame, she slowly changed in front of me.

Yeah, I'm damn good at being hated.