Chapter 112 - Your Canary
"Where the hell are we going?"
"Follow me. You'll find out if you do."
I'm sorry, Frey. For dragging you into my whims like this. You look so pissed off, frowning like that—it's got me all flustered. I never wanted to burden you any more than I already have.
"Ah, there's the carriage."
"...That?"
But just for a few days. Or maybe only today. Still, I hope you'll indulge this whim of mine—my first time ever acting on one.
"What's with that look? It's not like you've never seen a carriage before."
"No, you said we were going for a walk. So why the carriage...?"
"A walk doesn't have to be on foot, does it? Now hurry up and get in."
At those words, Frey stared at me with utter disbelief.
'...Ugh.'
Every time he looks at me like that, my heart throbs. Like a red-hot iron spike being driven straight into it.
But there's no helping it. It's all my karma... no, the oath.
It's because of the oath. I have to remember that. Right now, I'm...
Shiver...
Lost in those tangled thoughts, my hands started trembling before I knew it. Someone to hold them would be nice. But all that wraps around them is the cold night air.
Neigh!!
As I climbed into the carriage with those thoughts, peering out the window, the horse let out a spirited cry and we were off.
"Yawn..."
I glanced at Frey with a heart fluttering just a bit, but he yawned with a weary expression. Well, it's late at night. No wonder he's tired. It only made me feel even more guilty toward him, who I already owed so much. But... this is shameless of me to say, yet please spend just a few days with me. Or even just today. It might be the last time we have together.
"Gasp, cough."
"Ah."
"Ahem, hem."
As those thoughts crossed my mind, Frey suddenly started coughing.
Caught a cold, maybe?
Swish.
Ah, not a cold. No way. He hurriedly covered his mouth, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket—one with an auto-cleaning enchantment, no less. Someone as oblivious and useless as me could never mistake that.
My memories are resurfacing bit by bit. I know better now.
"Frey, does it hurt a lot?"
"It's nothing. Just a cold."
"...I see."
A lie. Perloché already told me. That your lifespan is almost up.
When I first heard it, I felt a twisted satisfaction. I thought the regressions—mine and everyone else's—had warped causality, dooming a villain like you to a terminal fate.
That's why, every time you committed atrocities you never did in previous loops, I grew more anxious. What if it was a side effect of that warped causality? What if people who survived last loop died this time, or greater sacrifices piled up? What if the Demon King admired you enough to revive you as a trusted subordinate?
I was truly terrified. So I resolved to kill you. I felt responsible for the warped causality from our regressions. I wanted to end it all with my own hands before you committed more new sins.
But then... who knew things would turn out like this?
'No. Not yet. Hold on just a little longer. There's still so much I want to do.'
I shook my head sharply to dispel the thought that flashed through my mind, then focused on the strange aura emanating from right in front of me.
'Star Mana... Moon Mana. And even black magic?'
Auras so rare you'd pay a fortune just to glimpse them, resonating together. They're faint, but their distinct signatures make them unmistakable.
So where on earth is this coming from? Time to find out.
"...What're you staring at?"
"Frey, could I see that handkerchief for a moment?"
After sensing the aura for a good while, I finally pinpointed its source.
"Here."
"Thank you."
The handkerchief Frey handed me was adorned with colorful embroidery. A silver cat radiating Star Mana, a black cat of black magic conversing with it. And a moon softly illuminating the cloth, leaking Moon Mana.
These must be traces left by people precious to him.
Shaa...
"Clana?"
It's precious to him, so is it right for me to leave my mark on it?
"...I'm sorry."
Even as I thought that, I'd already infused it with Solar Mana. How brazen of me. That's just who I am. If only I could dye this little handkerchief in glorious light. Or even draw a sun on it.
"Here you go."
"...What's this?"
But I'm not that brazen. So instead, I etched a tiny canary beside the silver cat. A pathetic little trace compared to a radiant sun, but I wanted to leave something behind, no matter how small.
So please, even if it's shameless—when you see it, remember who I was. Frey. That's all I need to be satisfied.
"The place we're heading... It's the one I think it is, right?"
"...Pardon?"
"Is it or not?"
Lost in the lingering echoes of my thoughts, Frey suddenly shot me a urgent question.
"...Probably?"
I hesitated before answering, and his face paled. Well, I'd be the same. It's like a carriage loaded with a ticking time bomb heading straight for a tinderbox soaked in oil.
But that place... it's somewhere I desperately wanted to revisit with you, just once.
"We're really going to that forest?"
"No, the tavern nearby."
"What?"
"The tavern we stumbled into that day, clueless as ever, after barely escaping that forest together."
His expression grew complicated at my words—half relieved, half puzzled. Huh, since when did Frey wear such varied expressions? Up until now, it was always just arrogance or brazenness.
"Why that tavern all of a sudden?"
"Um..."
As idle thoughts wandered, he pressed with another question. What should I say? Because I lack courage? Because stress is piling up? Or... because I want to build even one more happy memory with you?
"...I felt like drinking."
"If it's booze, I know a better place..."
"Just the two of us."
"...Hm."
As I finished, he fell silent, lost in thought. Or... not thought. Has he fallen asleep? His breathing slowed, and he's snoring softly through his nose.
Swish...
Watching him, I quietly shifted to the seat beside him and gazed at the stars shining outside. They're beautiful tonight.
......
"Your drinks."
"...Thanks."
The sullen waiter set the drinks on our table and left.
"You sure you can handle this?"
Frey eyed the liquor with a frown before murmuring the question.
"What do you mean?"
"Aren't you a lightweight?"
"...You remember that from when we were kids."
He quietly shut his mouth and looked away. Nice try changing the subject, but it's too obvious.
"This is the place we wandered into, clueless, after making our oath in that forest and barely escaping. We thought it was just a restaurant."
"Dunno. Don't really remember."
"I do. Even what you said to me, when your fancy clothes worth hundreds of gold were rags, and I looked the beggar too."
His brow twitched.
"...Probably said I looked ridiculous, huh?"
"Something like that."
"Yeah, you did."
As I spoke, he let out a quiet sigh. I murmured inwardly,
'And soon after, you invited me to your birthday party.'
You were beaming then—a pure, innocent smile, unlike nobles who laced even birthday invites with schemes and pretense.
"Remember how we got blackout drunk here, not knowing any better?"
"........."
"Got kicked out and curled up together like shrimp in the forest, sleeping it off."
"What do you want."
I rattled off old memories, but he only replied coldly. Can't blame him, from his position.
"That time... it was really nice."
With that, I poured and downed my drink.
"You..."
"It's fine. I worked hard to build my tolerance."
"Is that even possible?"
"All I'm good at is effort."
After answering, I downed another and murmured softly.
"Anyway, those memories... Never mind. Nothing."
"...?"
He tilted his head at my cryptic words. Fair enough. A ticking time bomb like me making ominous noises.
As I thought that, I finished the unspoken words in my mind.
'...I'll never forget those memories.'
Back then, I was thrilled to make my first real friend. I sought you out whenever I could. But the Empress wouldn't leave me be, locking me in isolation where all I could think of was playing with you again.
But there was a chance. Your birthday party invitation. I counted down the days...
And on the day itself, I was so excited to see you. But of all days, that's when your mother passed.
'Frey, are you oka—'
'...Get lost.'
After that, you changed. The pure soul who swore to serve me till death vanished, replaced by a grotesque wastrel wearing your skin, rampaging through the Empire.
That's why, even after losing my memories, I shied from friends. Your change must've shocked me deeply.
'But...'
Now I know. The one I vowed to serve is still inside you...
"Hiiiiaaah!!"
"...Whoa."
My sudden scream made Frey, who was sipping his drink while watching me, drop his glass in shock.
"You really okay with strong stuff?"
"...Sorry."
Sorry, Frey, but unavoidable. I nearly made a huge mistake.
With my face paling and hands shaking, he frowned and asked,
"So, why the sudden urge to drink?"
"I told you. Just the two of us..."
"Not that. The real reason."
The real reason... Yeah...
"It's the oath."
"Oath?"
"Yeah. You seemed so stressed lately, so under the oath, I'm buying you drinks. It's my enforced duty—nothing I can do."
Of course, not really the oath. Memories of the Trials are resurfacing. So I tried mimicking Serena's frequent mind control from past loops... but it's beyond a hack like me.
Duh. All my life, from childhood through every loop to now—despite grinding my teeth and bleeding effort—I'm still this pathetic. Half-assing Serena's technique only accelerated my memories, not slowed them.
As if a flimsy hint like 'it's the oath' could manipulate emotions. Good thing I'm teetering on the edge... but in days, maybe hours, I'll be certain about you.
Yeah. So, last resort it is.
"Frey, do you like animals?"
"...Not particularly against them."
"Then you must like canaries too?"
"What's the point?"
Watching him tilt his head suspiciously, I smiled and said,
"Seeing that canary I placed on your shoulder earlier... and it's still there, so yeah, you do."
"...Sigh."
"Knew it."
I'd seen you as a canary scouting the academy, petting cats in the back garden. You always fed and stroked Serena's owl. And you're kind to my canary too. Animals can't harm you.
So the answer's simple.
"Frey, that bird's a gift."
"Out of nowhere?"
"Yeah. So..."
I'll soon fall into eternal sleep. Probably won't wake till death. My soul and mind will shift elsewhere.
Yes. Before my foolish solar rampage swallows your beautiful star.
I'll linger by your side, chirping away.
Your very own canary.
So, "...please take good care of me."