I Can't Stand Spiteful Bitches
1.
"The first person for you to meet is Commander Valenti-nim of the Holy Knights, Master."
Valenti, the Commander of the Holy Knights in the capital of the Central Empire?
"That spiteful bitch who never even bows her head to royalty like me...?"
"She is quite spirited."
"Why the hell does it have to be a wench like that...!"
That Knight Commander bitch...
Hair fluttering smoothly like silk.
A body scent radiating floral fragrance even when covered in dirt.
Aside from her beauty, which can't be hidden even when her brow is deeply furrowed, she's a bitch without a shred of charm...!
"It is the imperial decree, Master."
"That damn imperial decree this, imperial decree that."
"Are you feeling quite uncomfortable?"
"Of course! I was kicked out of my own home...!"
"Shall I hold you?"
"Yeah."
_Pok.
_
So warm and cozy.
Elena's warm embrace, giving no room for worries or anxieties to even cross my mind.
Ah, how I wish I could swim forever in this bountiful ocean of breasts.
"Let us go now."
"Yeah. All right."
Come to think of it, it wasn't something to get so angry about.
It was true that I hadn't acted like much of a son.
While my eldest hyung single-handedly wiped out a barbarian kingdom near the border.
While my second hyung succeeded in negotiating trade exchanges across the entire empire.
I was busy taking on the 'guessing the number of folds in Elena's vaginal walls purely by the feel of my dick' challenge. (I failed, though.)
In a world where people get married around the mere age of 14, I was the only one remaining a bachelor until 20.
"Abeoji must have been frustrated too, right."
"Not at all. His Majesty was only worried about you, Master, and has never once shown any resentment toward you."
How could she say things so prettily?
Yet, leaving a woman like this behind,
you want me to go fuck around with some other bitch?
"Thinking about it again, he's really gone senile."
"Master, please mind your words."
If there was one being in this world I couldn't disobey, it wouldn't be Abeoji or my hyungs, but Elena.
"Yeah."
Silently, I matched my stride to hers and walked on.
2.
"One!"
Ttak!
"Two!"
Ttak!
"Do not be swayed by the sword! You are the ones who wield the sword!"
Having arrived at the Holy Knights' garrison like that.
Amidst the apprentices striking wooden dummies with wooden swords, Valenti was shouting.
"There she is."
We were hiding pathetically behind a wall.
"But what am I supposed to do? It's not like I can just stroll up out of nowhere and ask, 'Hey, wanna have a wild fuck?'"
"Naturally, you must not do that, Master."
"Then what?"
"For now, let us do this."
The moment Valenti drew closer to us, Elena stood up abruptly.
"Elena, the Chief Maid of the Imperial Palace, extends her greetings, Knight Commander-nim."
"Hm? It has been a while. But what brings you here?"
Startled me.
At least give me a heads-up before moving.
"I have come to see you regarding a matter concerning the Third Prince, Kalian-nim."
"What?"
Her voice turned frosty in an instant.
That bitch, she definitely hates me.
"First, could you take a look at Master's swordsmanship?"
"Why should I? And there is no reason for the grand Prince of the world to have his swordsmanship evaluated by a mere Holy Knight like me, is there?"
Mhm, yeah, yeah.
At least you know your place.
"Master has even forgotten how to hold a sword."
"...What?"
"His Majesty has bestowed an ordeal upon him. He told him to travel the entire continent all on his own, without any abilities whatsoever."
...Just how much are you planning to blabber, my love?
Why don't you just go ahead and say, 'The goal is to fuck you, so spread your legs for our Prince already'?
"......I cannot fathom what you are talking about at all, but if it is swordsmanship... very well. I shall do so. The sword does not lie, so I will converse directly with His Highness myself."
"Did you hear that, Master?"
With that, Elena looked down at me.
And because Valenti's gaze followed hers and turned toward me.
Beoltteok.
Pretending as if nothing was wrong, I stood up from the ground.
"Uh, yeah! G-Good to see you, Valenti."
"Creeping around in the shadows as usual, I see, Your Highness."
"Yeah. And you're as rude as ever. It's good to see."
Valenti told Elena, 'specifically' avoiding me, to wait for a moment, and then headed back to the apprentices.
Only when the sun began to set like that...
3.
The one-on-one lesson began.
"When you said you forgot how to hold a sword, I did not realize it literally meant you could not even wrap your hand around the hilt, Your Highness."
My body won't move the way I want because of that old man's restriction, damn it.
It's not like I want to just clumsily slap my palm against the hilt like someone with a disability.
"Master, may I dare offer you some advice?"
"...Yeah. Go easy on me so it doesn't pierce my heart."
"Please recall the memories of comforting yourself whenever I was away. Just like when you grip your own phallus, Master. Like this."
Elena.
Treating me like a fool is fine and all, but another woman is listening right now, isn't she?
...Masturbation, huh.
Usually, I would imagine the passionate nights with you and go like this...
"...How can you utter such foul jests in a sacred place for martial artists? Your Highness, a sword is by nature... "
"It worked! Elena! It worked! You're a genius!"
Even that dreadful geezer's curse couldn't suppress my love for Elena.
"...Pathetic."
"What did you say? If you were saying it's magnificent, speak up a bit louder."
"I told you to follow me."
Muttering something to herself, Valenti spun around abruptly and took the lead.
The place we arrived at was in front of the dummy those rookies were merrily beating earlier.
"Swing it. Each time you strike, something will come to your mind."
Come to my mind, my ass.
True to being a sword maniac, Valenti spewed abstract words today without fail.
Sneering at her inwardly, I swung the wooden sword toward the wooden dummy.
Tong.
"Uh...?"
As soon as I struck the dummy's neck diagonally, a shape clearly appeared in my mind.
"A circle?"
A circle with a very clean cross-section was drawn in my head.
"Once more."
_
_
Tong.
"A circle! A circle is appearing in my head, Valenti!"
"...Once more."
Tong.
"It's crystal clear! What is this? Is it an O meaning a hit?!"
"...It is a number representing the power of the sword strike Your Highness swung. That is not a circle, it is a zero."
"......."
It's okay.
Because Elena didn't laugh.
"The situation is far more serious than I thought, Elena."
That bitch, talking to Elena while ignoring me again.
"Yes. I think so as well."
Elena?
"It is far too dire to be blamed solely on the ordeal His Majesty bestowed. Just how neglectful has he been with his training all this time? I cannot believe this is the same person who crossed swords with me during the Imperial Regular Martial Arts Demonstration."
Crossed swords, my ass, when you got totally wrecked.
You sulked just because you lost that once and avoided me for months.
"Let us rebuild from the very foundation. Around how many swings do you think it will take to loosen up your body?"
"Two times?"
"We shall lightly begin with one thousand."
"Ten times!"
"One thousand! Raise your sword!"
At the thunderous roar commanding me to assume the stance, I unconsciously raised both arms.
"Strike!"
Tung.
"'The sword is meant to protect someone'—your Empire, Artesia, was not built upon such weak words! Strike!"
Tung.
"The true purpose of a sword is to cut down the opponent! To wound! To kill! Strike!"
Tung.
"However, that misery is borne not by the corpse on the battlefield, but by the one who loved the life Your Highness took the most! Strike!"
Tung.
"Therefore, fulfill the responsibility befitting that and swing desperately! Remember that a sword is named from 'blade' and 'all', and that the blade is always on both sides. Bear in mind that aiming at your opponent is the same as aiming at yourself. That means put no hesitation into swinging your sword! So that you will never dare have regrets before the dead! Strike!"
Tung.
'That girl talks way too fucking much, shit...!'
Killing the tempo over and over makes it even harder, damn it...!
She's young as hell, yet she's lecturing and bossing me around just because of her rank.
Like that, following Valenti's cadences, I swung the wooden sword to death.
4.
"Strike!"
Tok.
Sweat poured down like rain.
Muscles all over my body screamed and convulsed, and my vision had long since blurred, so that instead of the dummy, barely a brown silhouette flickered before my eyes.
My irregularly quickened breathing rang against my eardrums, drowning out even Valenti's voice.
My limit.
Like the omen of an awakening, it felt as though once that bright light glimpsed far in the distance engulfed me, everything would be completely different.
However.
However, now I really...
"This is only the twelfth time! Do not be indolent! Strike!"
Bullshit.
That demonic bitch must be playing tricks on me.
I'm this exhausted, yet I've only swung the sword twelve times?
"Strike!"
Teacher, my arms really aren't moving.
I'd swear on my appa, since he's not my biological appa anyway.
Yeah, now's the time.
"Ugh...!"
Slightly furrowing my brow, I let out a short groan.
Pretending to lose my balance, just like that.
Teolsseok.
I collapsed.
And very naturally at that.
"...Y-Your Highness!"
Valenti rushed over to me in a panic and shook me.
Elena also began approaching from afar.
"Your Highness! What... E-Elena! Call a physician at once..."
"Emergency measures take priority."
"I-Is there a way? Do something, anything..."
"Master's mana circuits have currently collapsed."
Things seem to be blowing up a bit too much.
However, I couldn't just suddenly open my eyes here and say I was fine.
Because it would surely result in utter embarrassment.
"S-So, what should be done?! Hurry...!"
"Commander-nim, possessing strong mana, must personally breathe into His Highness."
"Breath...?"
"Part His Highness's lips slightly, place your lips against his, and breathe into him."
What?
"A-Are you playing a trick on me...?!"
"When Master is in critical condition?"
No response followed after that.
And a moment later, an ominous presence approached me.
Seueuk.
A touch turning my collapsed body and gently lifting my head.
And then.
Ha-ap.
With a feel different from Elena's lips...
lips that were dry, yet by no means rough, covered mine.
Wait.
Seureuk-
Why the hell is her tongue coming in...?
Jjuuu-up, chyup.
Valenti's tongue then began to explore every corner of my mouth.
As our lips slipped against each other with the saliva we leaked, she took me in deeper once more, and when they slipped again, she pulled in even closer, repeating this strangely obsessive behavior.
This wasn't artificial respiration, it was artificial kissing.
In the meantime, I secretly cracked my eyes open to look for Elena.
Where my gaze landed, she was standing straight, looking down at me.
Kkeudeok.
'Nod,' my ass.
With an expression looking as if she knew this would happen all along, Elena nodded silently.
Only after having my tongue and lips toyed with for several minutes like that...
"His Highness has opened his eyes, Commander-nim."
Peuha-.
"T-Thank goodness...! Yes...!"
Valenti pulled away from me.
"......."
Looking off toward somewhere random for some reason while fidgeting with her fingers, she...
"T-That will be all for today! Tomorrow at this time, again... I-If you need a p-place to stay, there are spare rooms in the dormitory, so...!"
She spat out the words like rapid gunfire and disappeared with brisk steps.
"......."
Only Elena and I, utterly bewildered, remained in the vacant training grounds.
I just... got raped.
"It seems there is no need for you to worry, Master."
"...About what? Was this all your plan...?"
"No. All I did was improvise. Since you acted as if you were exhausted, Master, I merely created a plausible excuse."
"......You knew."
Elena offered her hand to me as I still sat slumped on the ground.
"At any rate, it seems the first ordeal will end more easily than expected."
Saying such cryptic words, she led me toward the Knights' dormitory.
"Still, this is someone else's lodging, is it really fine to have sex here?"
"That is precisely why we are heading there."
"Awesome! Elena, you're so fucking dead today..."
"I am not your partner for tonight, Master."
"Eh?"
Elena stopped in her tracks and stared straight at me with her characteristically emotionless gaze.
"Tonight, enter Valenti-nim's bedchamber and take her. I will be watching."