I'll Give You Some Medicine
The atmosphere was oppressively gloomy.
Even though bright sunlight poured through the windows, Dayoung’s presence made the entire office feel heavy and damp.
I genuinely wanted to slap her across the face. The way she kept scraping at my insides made it impossible not to feel furious.
“I already ate. And you’re just going to do something weird anyway.”
“That’s not even comparable to this pathetic excuse for medicine.”
Dayoung remained utterly casual.
“I’m not going to do anything weird. I’m just giving you medicine.”
I asked with the mindset of *let’s just hear what this is about.*
“What kind of medicine?”
Dayoung tapped her index finger against her own lips.
“My spit. It’s got some serious medicinal kick to it. Didn’t you know?”
Of course.
I knew it would turn out like this.
There was never any real medicine.
She was just messing with me.
To laugh and say something like that in front of someone who’s clearly sick—there was no way that kind of thinking could be normal.
“Never mind.”
Dayoung ignored me and reached out. She grabbed my chin and forcibly tilted it upward.
“…Let go!”
As my head was lifted, my lips parted slightly.
I tried to close them immediately, but her fingers pressed hard against my jaw, preventing it.
Ah… right.
It was always going to end up like this.
I didn’t even have the strength to struggle with this feverish, aching body.
Resisting would only make things more annoying.
In the end, I gave up and obediently opened my mouth.
“Fine.”
Aah—
“Stick your tongue out too.”
She really had a lot of demands.
I slowly extended my tongue.
Dayoung leaned her face directly over mine.
Her purple hair cascaded down across my face along with an unpleasant body heat.
She swept her hair to one side with an irritated motion, then looked down at me and smiled.
Soon, a long strand of saliva began to drip from the corner of her lips. It fell heavily and slowly onto my outstretched tongue.
I frowned at the disgusting sight.
It’s filthy.
Truly filthy.
The slippery, unfamiliar sensation on my tongue made me want to spit it out immediately.
Kim Dayoung must have noticed, because her eyes narrowed at once.
“You can’t even say ‘thank you’ and swallow it properly?”
Her face hardened instantly.
“Can’t you control your expression?”
With my mouth still forced open, I glared at her, eyes full of resentment.
The sensation of her spit resting on my tongue was so vivid that I couldn’t bring myself to swallow it.
That slick, disgusting feeling slowly spreading across the inside of my mouth and coating my mucous membranes.
Even though my head was foggy from fever and pain, that repulsive discomfort felt painfully, vividly alive—every nerve standing on edge.
“Fix your face.”
I slowly relaxed my furrowed brows.
“Good. That’s better. I’ll help make it easier to swallow.”
“……”
Dayoung’s hand gripped the back of my neck with brutal force.
“Ugh… mmph!?”
My head was yanked back sharply, and at the same time her other hand clamped over my open mouth.
As I flailed, struggling for air, she pulled me deep into her embrace.
The gaze looking down at me from within her arms seemed almost delighted.
The more I struggled, the more it only fed her twisted lust. While I gasped for breath right in front of her, Dayoung slowly licked her lips with her tongue.
In that moment, terror raised goosebumps along the back of my neck.
Gulp.
I swallowed.
Before I even realized it, my throat convulsed and I swallowed it down.
The moment that slick, strange sensation slid down my throat, my face nearly twisted again.
Every place her spit touched felt like it was rotting away.
Knowing she would definitely find fault with me, I barely managed to hold back the grimace.
“Well done.”
With an extremely satisfied expression, she finally released the back of my neck.
“Sit down and rest. I won’t touch a sick girl.”
What?
“Haah… haah.”
Panting heavily, I looked up at her in a daze.
She really did just push my shoulder and sit me down on the sofa as if nothing had happened. I had expected her to pounce on me right away, but Dayoung simply turned around and returned to her seat.
She sat in her chair, grabbed the mouse, and began working with a bored expression, clicking away.
I sat on the sofa, unable to say a single word.
It wouldn’t have been strange at all if she had attacked me.
I had seen the lust burning in her eyes, after all.
That was exactly why I had struggled so hard.
“Why are you staring at me like that? If you want to fuck, just say so.”
Dayoung added in an innocent voice while still looking at her monitor.
“I’m the generous type who grants requests.”
“No.”
I answered immediately.
I chose to keep my mouth shut, afraid that saying anything more would make her do something terrible.
If that’s how it was going to be, she should have just sent me home.
I buried myself deeper into the sofa and closed my heavy eyelids.
Beyond my darkened vision,
The clear, gentle face of Soyeon unnie—smiling as she softly stroked my cheek—slowly rose to the surface like something surfacing from deep water.
* * *
My mind was hazy.
My vision was blurred.
But there was one thing I could tell.
Everything around me was dark.
Where was I?
Was this a dream?
I rubbed my unfocused eyes with the back of my hand a couple of times. The crushed, blurry world very slowly began to take shape.
Only then did my surroundings become a little clearer.
“Am I floating on water?”
When I lightly tapped the floor with my toes, gentle ripples spread out in circles.
“No, I’m not.”
It felt like I was standing in a shallow puddle.
It was a strange space where I couldn’t even tell where the water ended and the sky began.
A profound loneliness washed over me, as if I had been dropped alone in the middle of a vast, empty ocean.
“Sujung.”
Then, from beyond the distant darkness, a familiar voice called out.
I lifted my head sharply.
In the center of the black space stood a single enormous tree, faintly glowing all by itself.
Between its branches, clusters of light like fireflies drifted about, and beneath it stood a girl with long purple hair hanging down her back.
The moment I recognized the girl, my heart began to pound violently.
“Unnie!”
It was Kim Soyeon.
The person I had loved to the point of madness. The person who had vanished from this world.
Without hesitation, I ran toward her.
Every time my bare feet struck the surface of the water, *splash, splash*, the sounds echoed through the darkness.
Even as water soaked my calves, even as my breath burned in my throat and I gasped for air, I couldn’t stop running.
As the distance closed, unnie—as she always had—naturally spread her arms wide for me.
I threw myself into her embrace.
“Soyeon unnie!!”
Terrified that she might break, yet even more afraid that if I let go she would vanish like smoke, I clung to her with crushing strength.
I buried my face in her chest and rubbed against her. The warm scent I had missed so desperately flooded over me.
I inhaled deeply—very, very deeply.
I wanted to fill every empty corner of my lungs completely with her warmth and scent.
Fearing this might be an illusion, I kept stroking her small back with my palms.
The vivid body heat, the sensation of her body against my hands, the steady rhythm of her heartbeat—all of it felt so painfully real.
I knew better than anyone that unnie was dead. But in this moment, everything felt so genuinely true that the tears I had been holding back burst forth like a dam breaking.
“Unnie. I just want to stay with you forever.”
I burrowed even deeper into her arms, clinging desperately.
“Okay? I want to stay here. Please let me stay with you…”
Unnie said nothing.
She simply held my head,
resting her cheek gently against the crown of my head.
And she slowly, tenderly patted my back.
My miserable sobs melted away beneath her touch, gradually fading.
I wished time would stop like this forever.
It wouldn’t matter if the only things in this world were a single tree and shallow water.
As long as this warm embrace was allowed to me.
Because unnie was my entire world.
“Is that okay? Hm?”
Like a child throwing a tantrum, I rubbed my tear-streaked face against her and tightened my arms around her waist even more.
Yet unnie never answered.
She simply looked down at me with a faint, sorrowful smile and endlessly mournful eyes.
Ah…
It was a dream, after all.
Was that why she couldn’t answer?
Because the dead cannot speak.
But the warmth enveloping my body was unmistakably hers.
It was so warm, so vividly real.
Unease crashed over me.
My heart hammered as if it would explode.
Unnie’s silhouette began to blur and fade like mist.
“…Unnie?”
Cracks started to form across the dark world.
*Crack.* At first it was a tiny sound.
Then the entire sky began to shatter like a giant pane of glass, breaking apart at terrifying speed.
“No, don’t go!”
I frantically grabbed at the hem of her clothes as she began to disappear.
“Don’t leave me behind. It’s too hard being alone!”
Please.
Take me with you.
Save me.
Or just kill me.
If you can’t, then kill me too.
If you’re going to leave me alone, then kill me.
The words tangled messily in the back of my throat.
I clung pathetically to her fading embrace and wailed out loud, sobbing uncontrollably.
But no matter how desperately I clung and struggled, unnie’s warmth slipped through my fingers like scattering beams of light, vanishing into nothingness.
Why do you always leave me behind?
Does unnie not know how horribly I’m being trampled and thrown down here?
Please save me, unnie.
No. I’m fine.
The moment unnie disappeared, I lost my balance and staggered.
Right then—
*Crash—!*
With the sound of shattering glass, my eyes flew open.
The blinding white light of fluorescent bulbs stabbed into my eyes.
“…I wasn’t the one holding you.”
The first thing that entered my still-dazed vision was a flustered voice.
Kim Dayoung was right in front of me, wearing the exact same face as Soyeon unnie.
“I saw you crying miserably in your sleep on the sofa, so I was just watching out of curiosity.”
“Ah……”
So it really had all been a dream.
Had my whining made her disappear?
Was that not actually unnie?
Was it all just a fiction created by my desire to escape reality?
That warm body. That warmth.
Had it all been fake?
Dayoung must have misinterpreted my unfocused, devastated gaze, because she pulled back slightly and drew a defensive line as if making an excuse.
“Don’t misunderstand. You were the one who clung to me first.”
She pointed at my arms, which were still wrapped tightly around her waist.
Thanks to her words, my mind slowly returned to reality.
Both of my arms were locked around Kim Dayoung’s waist.
I had been clinging so desperately that my knuckles had gone stiff and refused to loosen easily.
My eyes were hot and swollen, and my cheeks were wet with tears—apparently I really had been crying.
I slowly released my hands.
“…I’m sorry.”
I forced the words out in a whisper.
Kim Dayoung straightened her awkwardly bent posture, looked down at me for a moment, then returned to her seat.
More than the fact that I had hugged Kim Dayoung, I didn’t want to admit that I had mistaken this devilish woman’s embrace—even in a dream—for Soyeon’s warmth.
Strangely,
the deeper my longing for Soyeon unnie grew,
the more miserably and painfully my remaining reality twisted and hurt.