The Ghost of a Lover
No. I don't want this.
Typically, Magical Girls are assigned to work at the central association in the capital or one of the various regional branch offices under its jurisdiction. The pay and benefits were decent, and there was plenty of personal time. The work we did wasn't much different from that of an average office worker. We were a subcontracted branch office where we processed paperwork in cubicle-filled offices, went on patrols, and deployed to the field when the alarm sounded.
Of course, treatment in the industry varied wildly, but at the very least, the branch I worked at was a decent place to be.
Kim Soyoung, an Upper Tier magical girl and the representative of our branch. She was my lover, a secret no one else knew. We had been quietly nurturing our love for each other.
I managed a faint smile as I recalled the beginning of us. It was not long after I had awakened from being an ordinary man into a Magical Girl. I was spending my days adapting to a body that had changed so abruptly. I hadn't even finished receiving proper training as a magical girl, but due to a shortage of personnel, I was deployed to the field.
My main duty was citizen protection. It was a simple job where I only had to watch the seniors' battle from a distance. However, as if bewitched by the battle between the Monsters and the seniors, I found myself stepping inside the control line without realizing it.
I was standing there stupidly, mouth agape, looking up at that overwhelming spectacle, not even knowing that the situation was coming to an end.
"Oh my. It's dangerous if you come in this far."
"Ah! I'm sorry!"
The moment I hurriedly bowed my head and lifted it back up, what filled my vision were purple eyes and purple hair, smiling at me. It was Kim Soyoung, the representative of our branch.
It was rare for a branch manager to step into the field personally, but she was different. She was the person who best suited the title of Magical Girl, cutting through the line of fire at the very front, more than anyone else.
"You're pretty even when I see you again. Lee Suhyun, right?"
"Yes?"
"I remembered you. Because you're so pretty. Especially this pink hair, it draws the eye."
Her slender fingers lightly brushed the ends of my hair. Even though it was likely just a pleasantry, heat rose to my face at the proximity, as if we were about to touch.
"Ah, thank you..."
"I'm not just saying that."
She took a step closer. Her purple eyes looked at my face as if observing me.
"I heard you were originally a man? It must be hard to adapt to your changed body."
She pulled something from her pocket and thrust it toward me. A single white business card.
"It's my card. Contact me. It's true that you're pretty. I'll help you adapt."
"Yes? It's okay, everyone treats me well."
"Then let's just grab a meal sometime."
The stiff paper was forcibly pressed into my hand. Make sure to contact me. She smiled with her eyes and turned away without a shred of lingering attachment. I looked at the business card left in my hand for a moment before tucking it into my pocket. Was it a fated encounter?
We had reached a point where we could read each other's emotions just by the sound of our breathing. She was an infinitely precious person to me.
It was when I was looking out the window at the warm sunlight through the cafe's floor-to-ceiling glass and taking a sip of my remaining coffee. My watch flashed red on my wrist. Emergency deployment.
Unlike my sister, who was an Upper Tier, my main duty as a Lower Tier was support. I ran straight to the coordinates and evacuated the citizens who were screaming and in a state of chaos. After that, I assisted the magical girls in the vanguard to defeat the Monster, and the situation was wrapped up cleanly without any casualties.
I brushed the dust off the tip of my Magical Wand, which was unusually long compared to others. It was after I returned to the office and was sitting at my partitioned desk writing a report.
The phone that usually rang noisily, the idle chatter that used to drift over from the breakroom—none of it could be heard. Everyone was keeping their mouths shut as if they had made a pact, moving with cautious steps.
I didn't know then. What had happened. Why everyone was silent, not smiling, and walking so carefully.
"Suhyun, did you hear? That the Representative passed away."
"...Yes?"
"While she was subjugating a monster, that is..."
The news that the representative of the branch I belonged to, Soyoung, had passed away in an unexpected accident. Someone was clearly moving their mouth in front of me, but the sound felt muffled, as if submerged in water, and I couldn't hear the words properly.
Before I knew it, I was at the funeral. I looked at her in the frame. The woman in the frame, bordered by a black ribbon, was smiling faintly, just as she always did. Just like when we sat facing each other after work. If I just stepped a little closer, it felt like she would call out to me gently, "Suhyun-ah."
That was why I couldn't believe it even more.
"*Sob*... You're lying."
My voice was cracked so badly it sounded foreign.
It's a lie.
The strength left my legs. I slumped to the floor where I stood and stared fixedly at the face in the memorial portrait. Someone shook my shoulders and called my name, but it was no comfort at all. The black mourning clothes looked like grim reapers coming to take her away.
I was suffocating. I barely managed to lift my heavy body. I stumbled toward the emergency exit. As soon as I pushed open the tightly closed steel door and entered, the damp, humid air touched my face.
The moment I closed the door and leaned my back against the cold wall, the tears I had been holding back burst out, and I collapsed to the floor.
"Unnie... *sob*!"
I clamped my hands tightly over my mouth, but the sound of my sobbing forced its way through my fingers. Every time I tried to swallow my breath, my throat stung. Tears streamed down my cheeks incessantly, soaking my hands. It felt as if all the moisture in my body was draining away.
"Unnie... how could you..."
How am I supposed to go on without you?
My words wouldn't form properly.
"*Waaaaah!*... What am I supposed to do now!!"
Why. Why did it have to be you?
We were supposed to go out this weekend. We were going to watch a movie, and you said we should go to the sea. You were the one who said it first. You told me to rest comfortably beside you while you drove, that I could just sleep. That promise is still stuck in my head like this. How can I believe that I can't see you anymore?
My vision blurred. The green light of the emergency exit spread like paint within my tear-filled sight. I buried my face deep in my knees and clutched my pink hair tightly.
Even so, time flowed on, indifferent. Someone opened the steel door and called me.
"Suhyun-ah, why are you here? Get up."
"Ah, yes, senior."
A hand reached out to support me. I walked forward listlessly, not even knowing who was leading me. It didn't feel like I was moving my own body. When I regained my senses, I was at my home, though I didn't know how I had arrived.
Time continued to flow from then on. The position of representative was taken over by Kim Dayoung, the sister of the deceased. Since she was also an Upper Tier magical girl, it was perfectly possible. Kim Dayoung was someone I had seen occasionally while meeting Soyoung.
We were acquaintances, but I avoided her, conscious of her presence. Because she had a face that was the spitting image of Soyoung. I had no idea what I should do if I saw that face.
Like that, I, too, was barely getting through my days like a dead person. There was a drinking party in the evening. The noisy, unwanted sounds kept bothering my ears. The sound of glasses clinking never ceased, and I had no idea how many times my glass had been emptied.
"Suhyun-ah, are you okay? Aren't you drinking too much?"
"No... I'm fine."
I forced the corners of my mouth up toward the colleague who was looking at me with concern. On the table, I traced the frost-covered surface of my glass with my index finger. Swoosh. The droplets of water were wiped away by my fingertip, leaving only a long line like a tear track.
One sip. Two sips. As I sipped away in my depressed mood, the world began to spin before my eyes. Drinking somaek (soju and beer mix), I had long since passed my limit.
"I'll be heading out first."
"Oh, get home safe!"
When I stepped out in front of the shop, the coldly chilled air cooled my face, which had been flushed from the alcohol. I wrapped my arms around myself against the chill.
"*Haa*."
She wasn't the type of person to leave like that. I should have begged her not to go to the field, even if I had to cry and scream. I was regretting it now, too late. Would she have listened to me if I had? No, she would have just stroked my hair and told me it was okay.
Ah, I miss her.
I used the dark night sky as a canvas and drew her face upon it. I had been barely holding back my tears, but in my blurred vision, I saw purple hair fluttering. I dragged my stumbling legs toward the purple hair I saw in my alcohol-drenched, hazy sight, as if bewitched.
"Unnie... Unnie, you're alive, aren't you?"
I recklessly spread my arms and hugged her waist. Instead of pushing me away, the person hugged me back. Really tightly. To the point where my spine ached.
"Unnie, ah, it hurts..."
"I'm not your sister. It's Dayoung. Lee Suhyun, get a grip."
Ah. Kim Dayoung. The younger sister who looked exactly like Soyoung. A woman I had only run into a few times. No wonder the perfume scent was unfamiliar.
The corners of her mouth curled up mockingly. My sister never wore such a cold expression. Even so, I couldn't let go of the hand gripping her coat. Even though my brain recognized that it wasn't her, I kept taking in those features, as if cast from the same mold. Because it was a face I missed to the point of madness.
"Ah... Senior Dayoung."
I pulled my body away and bowed my head in apology.
"If you're going home, get in. I'll take you."
"It's okay..."
As soon as I finished speaking, my body swayed heavily. Was it because I was facing the face of my dead lover, or because of the lethal dose of alcohol I had pushed into my system? For some reason, my breathing became labored.
"Think of it as employee welfare. I have the car parked right in front."
My arm was grabbed. If I had the mind to, I could have shaken it off. But I let myself be dragged along, pretending I couldn't resist. Who could dare to run away when the face of the lover I thought was dead was leading me? Even as I followed, I chased Dayoung's face with my eyes.
"Get in."
I loitered in front of the car door, and feeling the alcohol I had gulped down rising late, I crumpled my body deep into the passenger seat. With the alcohol and drowsiness rushing in, my heavy eyelids slowly closed. Every time I breathed, the alcohol I had drunk earlier made my mind hazy.
At the voice asking for my home address, I mumbled the address out. Over my closed vision, the orange light of streetlamps and the afterimages of neon signs flashed by dizzily. I surrendered my body to the vibrating hum of the engine and let go of the thread of consciousness.
"Are you asleep?"
"Uung... Soyoung-unnie."
"Get out."
"Uung. Soyoung-unnie..."
I opened my eyes, and Kim Soyoung was before me. I must have had a terrible, long nightmare. It was the moment I opened the door and barely set foot on the ground, balancing in a world that was spinning and with a head full of fog, just as she told me to.
Slip.
Perhaps because of the high heels, I stumbled and my ankle twisted. With a thud, I collapsed ungracefully onto the ground. My body, soaked in alcohol, kept refusing to listen to me. The world spun and kept looking misaligned. When I lifted my head, Kim Soyoung was standing still, looking down at me with a furrowed brow. She looked displeased with the mess I had become.
"I'm sorry, Unnie. I should have drank in moderation..."
Every time I spoke, the hot smell of alcohol brushed my nose. I summoned my Magical Wand into my hand. Using it as a support, I pressed against the floor and struggled to lift my body up. I couldn't show her the sight of me crawling on the floor while drunk.
If it were the usual her, she would have approached first and supported me affectionately, but seeing her just watching, she was clearly furious.
"Are you angry with me? I must have drank too much today, I'm sorry."
I felt so sorry that I couldn't steady my body. I shouldn't be showing her this side of me. My knees kept buckling. Throughout the time I walked ahead, stumbling, Kim Soyoung followed from behind at a constant distance.
I arrived in front of the front door, and after mistyping the password several times while poking at the air with unfocused eyes, finally, with a beep, the door opened.
"Let's go in, Soyoung-unnie."
I went in, leaning against the wall in my dizzy state, but the footsteps following me stopped. She was standing blankly outside the front door, beyond the boundary line. The sensor light in the hallway poured down over her head, illuminating her beautiful features.
"Aren't you coming in...? I, I had a bad dream. Come in quickly and hug me..."
"*Huu*... Seriously."
As if she couldn't hold it back anymore, with a deep sigh, she stepped firmly into the narrow entryway.
Bang.
The heavy front door closed behind me. At the same time, Kim Soyoung's hand pulled my waist, and her other hand cradled the back of my head. I fell into the arms of Kim Soyoung, who appeared before me, my body soaked in alcohol. *Sniff.* The scent of unfamiliar perfume seeped into my lungs and spread throughout my entire body.
"Suhyun-ah. You're the one who seduced me first."
A suppressed voice heard near my ear. I couldn't understand what Kim Soyoung meant. We had only been dating for a few days, so what did she mean by seducing her? Still, seeing her enter the house made me feel good.
"Uung... Soyoung-unnie."
