Drunk in One Sip
After chattering away with the drunken magical girl Ar for a good while, I heard Kim Doa calling me from afar, saying she was firing up the barbecue.
At the sound, Ar jumped in surprise and quickly ducked back into her crossbody bag.
'Better not let them run into each other for a while.'
I got up and headed to the barbecue area.
By the time I arrived, Keter had already set out plates and paper cups on the table, and Kim Doa was grilling meat in front of the setup.
"Whoa."
I'd only grabbed some clothes and basic toiletries in a rush, but Kim Doa had come prepared with full barbecue gear from home.
Beef, sausages, corn... who the hell packs asparagus for this?
Anyway, thanks to her, the grill was loaded with a proper spread.
"This is way more serious than I expected."
I watched the meat sizzling to a perfect golden brown.
I'd glimpsed the packaging earlier—it looked like pretty pricey stuff. The color was spot on.
"I called you here for this, so I had to come prepared."
Kim Doa said it while placing a perfectly cooked piece on my plate.
I popped one of the sliced pieces into my mouth.
Nom nom.
"Tastes amazing."
The juices burst in my mouth.
Who knew Kim Doa could grill like this? Solid pass.
"Take it slow—we brought plenty."
"Mm."
Kim Doa tried to sneak some asparagus onto my plate with the tongs, so I yanked my dish away.
"Eat some veggies too, okay?"
"No way."
Asparagus looks gross from the start. All wiggly, and the taste is weird.
"Fine... just eat lots of meat then."
Kim Doa shook her head at me and cracked open a beer can. A crisp fizz echoed.
"Haven't seen one of these in ages."
I used to knock back tons back in the day.
But since this body? Can't remember ever trying.
No booze during the great subjugation anyway, and after... my body just rejected it, I guess? Never crossed my mind.
Honestly, I'd started preferring sodas and juices more anyway.
"What're you, a kid? Beer?"
Kim Doa shot me a look like I was talking nonsense.
"Excuse me? I'm legally an adult with ID."
Mentally and by life experience, full-grown.
She knows it, but treats me like this—rude.
"...Your body's the only thing that changed."
"That's the most important part."
"By that logic, you're not an adult physically either."
"You and me are not the same."
"What's the difference?"
Same with Seoyeon.
Think good development makes you all that?
"Miss, I must apologize, but please refrain from drinking."
Suddenly, Keter—who'd been piling meat on my plate—spoke up.
Keter, not you too, betraying me.
"I'm an adult—what's the problem?"
"Alcohol is not good for your health."
"Well, yeah..."
Thinking about it, this was classic Keter.
Picky about snacks aside—he never allowed unhealthy eats.
"I cannot place such harmful things on your table, Miss."
"See? Keter says drink something else."
Kim Doa smirked at me.
I hadn't cared much, but now I was pissed.
Daring to baby me like this.
"Gimme a sip."
I went over to Kim Doa and held out my paper cup.
"No."
She waved me off like a fly.
"One sip won't hurt. Back in the day, two cans a day was my minimum."
Crack open beers at home, watch magical girl anime. Daily routine.
"Big flex."
"Hurry up."
"Drink and get smashed on your own time."
Kim Doa poured a tiny splash into my cup.
Gulp gulp.
"Blech."
I spat it right out.
Was beer always this taste? Super bitter, zero sweet.
"Told you. Kids can't handle beer."
She chugged more like it was nothing.
Infuriating, but yeah, it sucked. No comeback.
Can't believe past me drank this.
"Why the hell did I ever drink this stuff?"
"'Cause you're a kid now. Kids like sweet things."
"Not true."
"Look... your face is all red."
My face was red?
From just touching my tongue to a sip? No way I'm drunk.
"Ah, Miss—water here."
"No need to fuss."
I sipped the water Keter handed me.
My head throbbed.
"Is she actually drunk?"
"What? I'm fiiiine."
But why's my head spinning like this?
"She really is wasted."
"Ah... Miss?"
Thud.
And then the film cut out.
Kim Doa and Keter were utterly baffled.
No matter Yuri's body, could a person really get smashed from one sip?
She hadn't even swallowed—just touched it to her tongue.
"...Is she okay?"
"I wouldn't know."
"How does one sip get you blackout?"
Their eyes were on drunk Baek Yuri. After collapsing suddenly,
she'd gotten up and was wandering around, babbling nonsense.
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"Keter wheeere..."
Baek Yuri staggered around with unfocused eyes.
"I'm right here."
"Heehee, Keter. Keteeer..."
She spread her arms to hug him.
But stumbled past, hugging empty air.
"Waaah... weird, I heard a voice..."
Keter subtly shifted position to line up for the hug.
"Whoa, Keter!"
She buried her face in his chest.
"Keter always smells so good."
"Thank you, Miss."
Keter looked deeply satisfied.
Despite everything since humanizing,
he thought it was worth it for the first time.
Baek Yuri was finally added to Keter's little sister collection.
"If not for Keter carry, magical girl solo noob."
"No, I merely assisted."
"Nuuuh, no. Me bad, Keter carry or nothing."
She nuzzled his cheek like a hamster.
"Wheehee."
"...She'll be fine if we leave her a bit."
"Don't sneak in your creepy enjoyment."
Kim Doa chugged more beer in disbelief.
She read the can's label.
"Not even high alcohol."
Just 4.5%.
Kim Doa wasn't a heavy drinker herself,
but this seemed extreme.
"And Kim Doaaaa!!!"
Suddenly, Yuri whipped her head around to glare, cheeks puffed.
Like a hamster cutely threatening.
"What."
"Stop scold meeee!!!"
"'Cause you mess up."
Kim Doa didn't enjoy scolding Yuri.
No pervert here—no reason to.
New rookies sucked lately, piling work on her,
and Yuri caused massive incidents constantly.
Most covered by her, or it'd be huge discipline.
"Hmph. You think I don't know I suck."
"Want me to list your screw-ups?"
"Dunno dunno shuddup."
"Miss Doa, don't torment her. She's blackout drunk."
"Blablabla."
"Don't paint me the villain..."
Kim Doa sighed.
Keter was a proper mascot.
But Yuri corrupted him too.
"Only rub on Keter, not mean Kim Doa. Only Keter."
She giggled, nuzzling Keter's cheek again.
"How long you gonna let this go? Clean up and put her to bed."
Kim Doa frowned.
Cute, but couldn't indulge forever.
"Miss Doa, put the camera down first."
"You wipe your drool before talking."
With their unspoken agreement to savor a bit longer,
Yuri's cheek rubs continued awhile.
And a new video joined Kim Doa's gallery.
The next morning,
I woke clutching my pounding head.
"Ugh... my head."
It hurt so bad.
"What'd I do last night?"
What the hell did I pull to hurt this much?
I racked my brain.
Definitely barbecued and ate meat,
...then nothing.
"Something's off."
I wobbled out of the room.
Grabbed water from the fridge and chugged.
"Phew."
Cool water cleared my head some.
"Finally feel alive."
"Awake?"
Kim Doa's voice—turned to see her lounging in the hammock, phone in hand, smirking.
Why's she grinning?
"Why the smile?"
"Check your phone."
She sent a video.
"What's this?"
I said while downloading.
"You'll see."
Downloaded—hit play.
There I was.
Super drunk, shaking my head in Keter's arms.
- Rub rub gimme rubs rub rub
Definitely my voice.
Chillingly cute tone, saying that.
"...What the."
I glared at Kim Doa, hand shaking.
"Last night's you."
"Oh."
That sparked the memory.
...Should I just die?
That thought hit.