The Insane Archmage's Mecha Obsession
Entering the world of creation felt like slipping into a plot that had already been worn out a thousand times over.
Factoring in the future, knowing the twists and turns of events before they happened and blocking them off.
Scouring some forgotten ancient relic artifact to haul around like a walking inventory.
Meeting the supporting characters early, forging alliances, assembling a dream all-star team.
Beating the impossible through ridiculous combinations.
That kind of thing.
But the moment Lee Dam was hit with the absolute certainty that this world wasn't one of the creations she'd read about, it was the setting itself that nailed it down.
This world had exactly three nations each one countering the other.
A world built on the Three Kingdoms of the World as taught by teacher Wa Long, balanced with incredible precision.
The Gérard Kingdom, where knights formed the backbone of the military.
The Exstep Alliance, forged by Vikings and alchemists combining their powers.
The Boulian Republic, pushing steam technology and small firearms to the limit, having already suffered the devastation of the Evil God Abaddon.
These three nations fought each other every single day.
Only war. Only the cry of war.
That was the world Lee Dam had never seen in any of her novels.
If this had been a creation, there was no way she should have missed it.
Or else the setting was so strange it had been forgotten from sheer boredom.
Anyway.
What mattered here was the magic tower.
To put it plainly, it was an area of absolute inviolability.
From the moment magic was openly used for war, it had been the spark that ignited mass slaughter, so the three nations had signed a treaty.
“Let’s not use magic.”
It had been the equivalent of nuclear weapons from her previous life.
That was why the magic towers had been built.
With the Archmage at the center, seven towers rose up, each one assigned a specialty.
Seven Tower Masters were appointed.
Becoming a mage in one of the towers here?
That was the jackpot.
Lee Dam had basically won the second prize in the lottery.
No, closer to first place.
The Iron Magic Tower itself was scouting her personally.
The carriage heading toward the tower.
Beldora Millennium was poring over the model Lee Dam had made, unable to hide her amazement.
“It’s incredibly detailed. I’ve never seen a model this finely crafted. You could probably build it straight away without touching it up.”
“Exactly!”
Lee Dam bounced her hips as she shouted.
Beldora let out a soft laugh.
“Sorry, but that kind of project requires the Archmage’s approval first. There’s a mountain of preparation involved.”
“From concept to blueprints, practicality, application, cost, purpose… the works.”
“Prepare a presentation like the department head always does.”
“Anyway, what you’ve made is going to shake the tower to its foundations. This is the chance to slap the big noses of those four elemental bastards.”
“Hurry up and build it already.”
“Once you join the Iron School, I’ll promise you all kinds of support. Your mana capacity looks enormous, and you’ll adapt instantly and pick up a position in no time.”
“Hurry up and assemble it.”
“Our school’s kids are talented, but we’ve been short on creativity. Probably because we’ve been too focused on iron. That’s why we needed fresh ideas like yours. Seeing this will spark inspiration in other kids too—”
“Color it up, please~!”
“…”
Beldora finally shut her mouth.
She looked perfectly respectable, but something in her brain was clearly off-balance.
Magic users were full of lunatics anyway.
Beldora, as Tower Master, had the job of bending those crazy minds to her will.
“Ugh, I’m so fucking horny. I just want to attach the parts already. I want to fit the arms and body together right now.”
“Is her head always like this?”
She’d controlled countless loose screws before, but something felt off.
The eyes were already cracked.
The pupils were insane.
To be exact, the moment she’d been asked to turn the model into reality, something had snapped.
“If I could just make the face parts, I’d get three meals straight away.”
She figured she’d better keep her mouth shut.
That was why Beldora decided to dig a little deeper.
“Do you have any special name for this armor? These things should get their own proper names to stand out from the originals.”
Beldora was trying to force a conversation to plug the holes in the rambling mouth.
But she realized immediately that this was her second biggest mistake of the day.
“It’s KenX.”
“…Huh?”
“It’s Lee Dam. That’s the name.”
“…”
Lee Dam slowly placed her hand over her forehead, closing her eyes.
Among the Tower Masters, there were smokers.
She’d heard that when their heads got hazy, they smoked and it cleared them right up.
Beldora was seriously considering learning smoking just to fix her thoughts.
“Did I mishear? KenX?”
“Yes, but—”
“Aha?!”
She slapped her own thigh.
Beldora nodded enthusiastically.
Of course! That was it!
She was so rural she hadn’t known a thing!
“I-I’m Lee Dam? Let me explain. When you say KenX outside, what do people call it?”
“Orc dick.”
“…”
“It’s a slang term for orc dick. See, they’re so big that even hanging it somewhere counts as KenX.”
“…”
“But how big is ‘big’? It’s just a little one.”
She suddenly clenched her right fist and started waving it around like she was stroking an orc’s penis.
“You’re forcing it, aren’t you? The black brothers never hang theirs. It might poke out of their pants, but who would actually hang it?”
Her head was spinning.
Was this the right answer coming out of a grown woman’s mouth?
Was this pretty face really the one spewing spit and ranting about orc penises?
Even while she’d created a systematic new paradigm for knight armor that could shake the entire Iron School to its core?
Was naming it after orc penis slang really logical?
What the hell did that mean?
It was like a mother naming her son Kim Jjokchui.
Jjokchui! Jjokchui!
She couldn’t possibly call her son that.
“I have principles. A dick has to be a dick to be a real dick. No need to wallow in self-loathing after seeing those adult actresses the heavens arranged for us. It’s just what’s attached to the lower half of the body.”
Her mana capacity was shockingly vast.
Her thinking was creatively fresh enough to blow everyone else’s minds.
But she was a crazy bitch.
“Maybe I should have never known.”
Beldora finally understood what she was about to regret most about the day.
She should have arrived later.
If she’d followed the village chief’s orders and come when her neck was severed, she wouldn’t have this problem.
She’d have just given up cleanly and left.
She wouldn’t have been tempted by demonic talent or greed.
“Anyway, now you get it? The name is KenX. This can’t be changed.”
Her head ached.
The Tower Master’s extraordinary brain was already picturing the future.
If.
If the name stuck as KenX just like that.
“Alright, let’s begin the presentation for the KenX Project.”
She’d explain why they needed orc penises in front of the six Tower Masters and the Archmage.
“We need KenX. How much will it cost?”
The Gérard Kingdom, their biggest customer base, would buy orc penises for astronomical amounts.
“I want to know the technology behind KenX. We’d like to apply it on our side.”
“Innovative. KenX really deserves to be called a great invention.”
The same praise would come from the Exstep Alliance and the Boulian Republic.
“We need KenX.”
The knights would be lining up to demand orc penises.
Everyone would be sighing in admiration at this great invention.
But they’d still force themselves to call it KenX, pretending they didn’t know what it really meant.
Even the year-end Innovation Festival would become a circus.
“The winner of this year’s Aureum Award for the best invention is… congratulations! The Iron School’s KenX!”
“Congratulations!”
“Tower Master Beldora, congratulations. Receiving an award at the Innovation Festival from the Iron School is truly rare.”
“This KenX is revolutionary. It takes knight armor that was already almost complete and pushes it to the next level.”
It turned into an unintended masquerade ball.
Everyone knew the meaning but pretended not to.
They smiled elegantly on the surface while their stomachs were churning.
Adding orc penises to the proud list of tower inventions!
It looked less like a tool of self-indulgence crafted with passion for the hot nights of noble ladies and more like… well, you get the idea.
“Khh—! Ah, drool’s coming out! First! Justice! Double O is gonna taste amazing!”
“…”
“Churp! Hoo-hoo-hoo! We’re making it huge! Really huge! Enormously huge!”
Yeah.
They wanted to build a giant orc penis.
Technically it made sense.
Orcs were huge.
Huge huge huge.
“Huuu.”
She clenched her fist.
Beldora now felt a sense of mission.
The carriage ride to the tower had been about six hours.
She had to.
She absolutely had to rename it.