Chapter 85
Translator: Ace
Chapter: 85
Chapter Title: Speeches on Sale and Dwarven Arrival
I asked Dolloren,
"Where'd you get that speech?"
"This? They were selling it at the market?"
"..."
I was utterly dumbfounded.
I asked her,
"Why on earth?"
"Beats me. If you're curious, go ask them yourself. They're probably still selling it."
Just as Dolloren said, this was something I had to verify in person.
I headed straight out of the Magic Tower.
I didn't bother with any disguise.
The Foundation folks knew what I looked like thanks to the statue, but ordinary citizens didn't.
My destination was the market street in front of the bell tower where I'd cleared my very first commission.
I wove through the crowds, darting around the market.
And there it was.
"Come one, come all! Selling out soon! The Empire's yardstick, Sir Isaac Uphills' heartfelt speech! Just 30 copper!"
My speech was being sold right there.
A crowd had gathered in front of a street stall in one corner of the market.
"One for me, please!"
"No way! You bought one yesterday! Give it to me!"
"What about my kid then?!"
I stood there blankly, watching the scene unfold.
It felt... strange.
Strictly speaking, that speech was plagiarized.
Was it okay for me to sell it for money?
No. Pull yourself together.
I never agreed to sell it.
Whoever the culprit was, they'd sniffed out the profit in my words.
Before I knew it, the stall was cleared out.
"Sold out! That's all for today! Come back tomorrow!"
"..."
"Hey, kid. All gone. Tomorrow."
The merchant waved me off as I stood there dazed.
"..."
"All sold out... Huh? Wait a sec."
The merchant narrowed his eyes and stared right at my face.
"I swear I've seen you somewhere..."
"...!"
"You wouldn't happen to be."
"Wrong person."
I turned to bolt, but the merchant was persistent.
"No! You're definitely... I've seen you before!"
Damn.
He seemed to recognize me.
How the hell did my face get famous in a world without cameras?
While I was up north, my stand-ins must've been peddling my image everywhere.
If he grabbed me here, it'd turn into a fan autograph session...
That's when it happened.
"Hey now. No need to be rude to a customer."
A familiar voice rang out.
It was Barnabas, the Bell Tower Keeper.
He stepped between me and the charging merchant.
"This here's my nephew. Fresh from the countryside, doesn't know his way around."
"Oh... your nephew? Heh. All good then."
The merchant scratched his head sheepishly and backed off at Barnabas's words.
Saved.
I bowed politely to Barnabas.
"Thanks for the help, Barnabas."
Barnabas chuckled and clapped my shoulder.
"It's only been a little over a year, and you're already a big shot."
"Yeah... no idea how it came to this."
"How about grabbing a bite since you're here?"
"Hm..."
Normally, I'd grab some chicken skewers.
But now that I knew my face was somewhat known, that plan was scrapped.
I bowed my head.
"Guess I can't say no to a meal."
"That's the spirit."
I followed Barnabas to his quarters.
I pointed to the soundproofing panels on the wall.
"Soundproofing panels still holding up?"
"You bet. Couldn't live without 'em now."
"If they break, commission me anytime."
"Price?"
"Frozen at one bowl of stew, for market stability."
"...You haven't changed a bit."
Clunk.
Bread and stew hit the table.
"Dig in."
Barnabas's stew wasn't particularly tasty, same as last time.
Still, it was hearty as ever.
"Thanks for the meal."
I stood and continued,
"I'll be off then. Take care."
Barnabas saw me off with a pleased smile.
"You too. I'm always rooting for you—it's what keeps me going these days."
"Thanks. Stay healthy, Barnabas."
As I left the bell tower, I spotted a stack of papers on one corner of Barnabas's desk.
[I Have a Dream]
My speech.
Not one copy, but three stacked up.
'Why'd he buy so many?'
Barnabas said to me,
"Take one if you want. That's why I bought 'em."
"You sure?"
"...You're the author."
"..."
That's... kinda tricky.
Anyway, I took one copy from Barnabas.
After leaving the bell tower, I headed straight to the Foundation's admin office.
Laura had to be at the center of this.
I placed the speech on Laura's desk.
"What the hell is this?"
Laura didn't bat an eye at my question.
"All proceeds go to Foundation scholarships. No laws broken."
"...Not trying to argue—just explain what happened."
"Ah."
Laura then laid out the details.
The thief had gotten cold feet, but no punishment seemed in order.
Apparently, this kind of thing wasn't illegal without profit motive.
Figures. The educated ones are the worst.
Shysters fleecing honest STEM folk.
I could see why Dolloren memorized all those laws.
But whatever...
If people liked it, that was enough?
I told Laura,
"...Just tell me ahead of time next time."
"Yes. Understood."
Laura nodded readily and pulled a document from her drawer, handing it over.
"And regarding that, I have a proposal."
"What's up?"
"The speech sales confirmed it. People are starving for reading material. Short, useful stuff that's easy to keep."
I skimmed Laura's proposal.
[Proposal for Regular Publication]
It was about compiling and selling news from the Imperial Court, Magic Tower, Noble House, and Foundation regularly.
She'd already gotten approval from each leader, it seemed.
'Fast worker, Laura.'
Like an official gazette.
Not fully official since the Foundation was publisher, though.
I said to Laura,
"Sounds good."
The capital had plenty of literate folks, so it seemed viable.
Laura bowed her head.
"Thank you. We'll proceed immediately."
Paper hadn't been around long, and now newspapers?
The impact spread faster and wider than I thought.
Probably because printing tech was distributed too.
...Printing reminded me of Anna again.
Scribe in this era? Would've been disastrous if I'd left her be.
"Extra! Extra! Our scout manual's finally set—Wallowitz's!"
"For real?"
"Whoa!! Howard! It's official!"
A northern frontline fortress tavern erupted in unexpected celebration.
Field Mages clinked mugs in joy.
"Told ya it'd be me!"
"Glasses squad, attention!"
The Glasses Squad was the faction backing Isaac over Howard in the Howard vs. Isaac debate.
Taken from Isaac's bespectacled look at the amnesty festival.
Pure Isaac fans vehemently denied it was just a fringe group.
Then one mage asked his buddies,
"Isn't this kinda unusual, though?"
"Ugh, Glasses Squad spreading lies again..."
"No, listen! I'm saying the official decision came way too fast. Top brass doesn't move that quick."
"Ah."
He had a point.
Outside magical beast outbreaks, the imperial army in peacetime moved like molasses.
Decision-making was a tangled mess.
Operations staff, imperial liaisons, noble subcommittees—all checking each other.
Even minor items took over a year.
Vomitous structure, but necessary.
Without it, elected legion commanders might rebel with their troops.
Approving a manual in months in such an army? Definitely unusual.
"True. So why? Top brass Glasses Squad too?"
"Nah... It's the metric system."
"Huh?"
"Think about it. Metrics decreed by imperial order, right? Easier to adopt Howard's manual—written in metrics from the start—than convert old yard-based ones."
"Makes sense."
It did.
"Kinda weird, though."
He stroked his chin, muttering.
"Howard wrote it before Isaac even set metrics. Yet it's all in metrics. Army used yards exclusively."
"Yeah? Wallowitz foresaw it?"
"Hm... Could be bolder. More radical even."
"How so?"
He whispered,
"Isaac's metrics... inspired by Howard's manual?"
"What...?"
The 'little guess' from the corner table spread through the tavern.
"You bastard, quit the slander!"
"Not impossible..."
"Quiet! Still don't get Isaac's vision? The philosophy in metrics?!"
"But facts are facts! Howard used metric units."
"You see it? Proof Howard did it first?"
"That's how it'll go, huh...?"
The debate raged till dawn and shift change, they say.
Today's peaceful Magic Survey School lab.
Giuseppe buried in his research at his desk, Dolloren napping on the cot.
I alternated between reading dwarf history and playing around.
Then, a knock: 'knock knock'.
Dolloren's eyes snapped open.
She bolted up and cast invisibility.
Shh.
Light bent, vanishing her. Detect magic saw through, but most mages wouldn't notice.
Giuseppe's lip curled. He didn't like her antics.
"I'll check."
I stopped him as he rose.
"Stay put, Senior. I'll go."
"Only you, Junior. Thanks."
I opened the door. Laura stood there, faintly flushed.
She said,
"They're here."
"What...?"
"The dwarves."
"Already?!"
'Thought it'd take a month.'
Vulcan had left just three weeks ago.
I followed Laura straight to the walls.
Chaos at the gate.
"Open up!"
"Give us Isaac and the distilled booze! You promised!"
Hundreds of guards stood tense; beyond, a dwarf horde.
Detect magic confirmed: 127 bearded, muscled shorties.
"Not small, but prime."
"Pardon?"
Laura tilted her head.
"...Nothing."
Vulcan led the dwarves.
The Princess stood before him.
Vulcan said,
"When's Isaac coming? We've been here ages!"
"...Five minutes, Lord Vulcan. Please wait a bit."
"Tch. Legs twice as long and still this slow... Huh?"
Vulcan spotted me.
"There he is!"
He charged past the Princess.
'Okay in front of Her Highness?'
Dwarf nation wasn't imperial, but still undiplomatic.
I glanced at the Princess.
She smiled and nodded at me. She knew dwarf tempers.
Problem solved.
I focused on Vulcan.
"Long time, Vulcan."
"Waited till my neck ached!"
He grabbed my hand with his meaty paw, shaking vigorously. His strength rocked me.
Dwarves behind buzzed.
"Old Vulcan was serious? A human?"
"No way... That tiny body made those gorgeous machines..."
"Liar. Can't even swing a hammer."
"Auto-hammer, remember?"
No hostility, good.
One muttered,
"Whatever. Just wanna chug that distilled stuff again."
"Quiet, fool."
"Why?!"
"Humans hate drunks."
"...Got it."
They loved the distilled liquor I'd given.
Good thing I'd stocked up.
