Chapter 43
Chapter 43
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Translator: Ace
Chapter: 43
Chapter Title: Excel's Bureaucratic Terror
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After that, I continued working with Laura.
She said,
"Setting up the foundation itself is surprisingly easy once we sort out the noble guarantor's issue."
"Oh? Is that so?"
"Yes. The official document format is already in my head, so if you give me half a day..."
"Hold on a second."
I cut her off.
Laura's lips twitched.
"Finally found something you want to chime in on? By all means, speak your mind. I was starting to think it was all too smooth sailing."
"...No, that's not it. Since we're working on this, I have something to give you."
I left Laura there and went to retrieve 'that' thing I'd hidden in the corner of the lab.
Laura said,
"You don't need to give me tea."
"No, it's not that."
Clunk.
"Here, try using this."
Laura tilted her head.
"...What's this?"
"Excel."
Laura stared at the bizarre magic tool Isaac had handed her.
It was an iron-framed prosthetic arm mounted on a stand, with a quill attached to the tip of the hand.
'He said he made it himself... I think?'
Isaac said,
"Channel mana into it and vividly imagine the document's contents. It'll write it out on its own."
"...Understood for now."
With half caution and half curiosity, Laura infused mana into Excel.
She placed a sheet of parchment in front of the prosthetic arm and focused her imagination.
Then...
Scritch. Scratch. Scritch-scratch.
As if responding to her will, the iron arm began to move.
Without a single typo, in perfect formatting.
"..."
Laura felt terror before any thrill at the sight.
'If this exists... what happens to all the document-writing skills I've honed my whole life?'
Suddenly, memories flooded back.
At five years old, gripping a quill and getting smacked with a switch by her parents while learning cursive.
At ten, pinching her thighs to memorize imperial legal documents word for word...
Drip.
Laura cut off the mana.
Isaac tilted his head.
"Why'd you stop? Is there a problem?"
"Mr. Uphills. Allow me to offer some presumptuous advice."
"Yes?"
"Convenience breeds danger. How about writing documents by hand instead of using 'Excel'?"
"...Pardon?"
"..."
Laura knew full well how absurd that sounded.
She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth.
It was just shock from her skills suddenly becoming obsolete.
Laura composed herself.
"My apologies. I just... remembered something unpleasant."
"Oh dear, are you alright?"
"Yes..."
Laura bowed her head and resumed the work.
Scritch-scritch.
Scratch-scratch.
Documents that should have taken days were output in perfect form in just one hour.
Laura gazed at the finished stack in a daze.
"How... not a single typo."
Should she start looking for other work?
'Does this mean fieldwork is the answer?'
As Laura steeled her resolve, Isaac spoke up.
"No typos because of you, Ms. Laura."
"...Pardon?"
"'Excel' is a magic tool that turns human thoughts into writing."
"So... because I didn't make any mistakes from the thinking stage onward?"
"Exactly."
"That's... a relief."
With this, she wouldn't be replaced by the magic tool called 'Excel'.
After all, she was the one versed in the empire's language, laws, history, and local affairs.
Not this Excel.
Laura's mouth opened.
"You've created a truly remarkable magic tool."
"Oh... not at all."
"No, really. It's impressive, Mr. Uphills."
Regaining her reason, she began to appreciate 'Excel's' greatness.
One might say she could feel the philosophy embedded in this tiny mechanical arm.
This would free all administrative officials from hay fever and paperwork overload.
Laura pointed at Excel and asked,
"Are you planning to sell this 'Excel' like the 'Suspension'?"
If so, the empire's administrative efficiency would multiply overnight.
Laura looked forward to that day.
"Are you planning to sell this 'Excel' like the 'Suspension'?"
"..."
I pondered Laura's suggestion for a moment.
'Selling it to the public seems risky...'
If released widely, reverse engineering was inevitable.
The mages of this world weren't idiots.
That would expose the 'mana differential engine's' principles completely.
What came after... I honestly couldn't guess.
If it fell into the hands of a mad mage like Malakai, something horrifically disastrous would happen.
Truth be told, I'd wrestled with this before.
That's why, when upgrading the wooden 'Excel' to iron, I'd added a self-destruct switch.
If anyone I didn't authorize touched it, Excel would destroy itself.
Of course, I kept that secret from Giuseppe.
Didn't want him thinking I was crazy.
After some thought, I replied to Laura.
"Not the original, but a mass-produced version later? Maybe possible."
In that case, I'd strip out the auto-calculation and make it more like a 'thought typewriter'.
Laura chuckled.
"I hope that day comes soon. I can't be the only one feeling this terror."
"...Pardon?"
A few days passed since Laura joined.
With Excel on her back, she displayed monstrous work efficiency.
The foundation documents were nearly complete, and tutors for Anna's subjects were all secured.
She even set up a route to funnel money from Winterheart territory into the foundation without drawing eyes.
"Don't worry. The intermediaries won't know each other's identities."
"Oh..."
It was like a drug cartel, funds passing through a pyramid scheme structure.
Everything was going too smoothly.
'Is it really okay for it to be this easy?'
The power of a professional was something else.
Now, the only thing on my plate was Anna's magic education.
Tutoring time arrived, and Anna entered the lab.
Pat-pat.
Her footsteps were lighter than usual.
"Something good happen?"
"No, nothing at all."
"Liar."
"...How'd you know?"
"Your footsteps."
Anna halted abruptly.
"You notice that too? Kinda creepy."
"..."
Even if... it shouldn't be creepy...
Puberty? Yeah, at 13, right in the thick of it.
Thud.
Anna plopped down beside me.
"Today's my first magic lesson, so I was a bit excited."
"Heh. Still a kid at heart."
Puberty not here yet, then.
Phew, relieved.
Zing. Anna's glare pierced me sharply.
...Or not?
Thus began Anna's first magic lesson.
For this, I'd memorized magic textbooks that didn't suit me at all.
I showed her the magic circle and incantation for the most basic '1st Circle Ignition Magic'.
"Alright. Just follow the steps. First, draw this magic circle with mana, hold its shape, and chant this spell all the way through."
Gradually, you'd get used to the structure, drop the circle, shorten the chant...
I'd hardly ever cast like that, so I wasn't sure.
"Think you can do it?"
"I'll try."
Anna drew the magic circle with astonishing focus—nearly perfect.
The textbook said hardly anyone nails it on the first go.
Smart kid, as expected.
Anna began chanting seriously.
"Great flame, grant your light..."
That very instant.
Whoosh.
Before the chant even properly started, flames burst from her fingertips.
This could hurt her.
I reflexively cast an extinguishing spell.
PV = nRT
F = PA
I vacuumed a specific area, withstanding atmospheric pressure.
The trapped flames extinguished silently in the vacuum.
But... the shockwave from air rushing into the vacuum post-extinguish? No way to stop that.
Bang-!
A firecracker-like boom rattled my eardrums.
...Should've calculated and blocked that too, but it was too sudden.
I shouted at Anna, who was clutching her ears from the blast.
"You okay? Any rebound?!"
Anna shook her head vigorously.
No rebound?
Impossible.
Flames appeared, but it wasn't 'Ignition' magic.
Magic is a science of prediction.
The farther the result strays from prediction, the worse the rebound on the mage.
A simple ignition turning fireball-level? Rebound had to be massive.
Anna said,
"Did... I mess up?"
"No, calm down."
I checked her over.
But Anna showed no signs of injury.
What the hell?
"What happened when you cast? Describe the process in as much detail as possible."
"I was chanting, and suddenly I thought, 'Fire's about to come out.' So I stopped the structure, but..."
"The magic activated anyway."
"Yes."
I analyzed her mana flow with detection magic.
'Ah...'
I got it. What happened.
Giuseppe's words came back.
-'Transcendent mana capacity that endures countless rebounds.'
That meant this?
It wasn't no rebound.
Anna had tanked the entire mana backlash.
With mana to spare, her body was unscathed.
This is insane.
If you can do this, why bother agonizing over structures?
Just brute force it and pay with mana.
Anna asked me,
"Something went wrong, right? Sorry..."
"No. No, it's fine. Just... keep your promise to come to our lab later."
"?"
Right then.
Knock knock knock.
A steady knock, like a metronome. It was Laura.
"..."
"..."
Anna glared at her for interrupting tutoring.
But Laura's expression didn't flicker.
She said,
"Sorry to interrupt, but I have urgent news."
"What is it?"
"Better to see for yourself."
Laura handed me a single document.
'Entrance exam advisor?'
The document bore a clear imperial seal.
The final paragraph read:
[...This position cannot be refused without exceptional cause.]
What bolt from the blue was this?
"Why'd this come to me?"
"It was meant for the Sound Magic School Head, but... they're out on medical leave for overwork."
"So I'm the substitute?"
"...Yes. Advisor roles rotate alphabetically by textbook reviewer name, and you were next after the School Head."
"Damn it."
Shouldn't have helped with those textbooks.
I pitied the dean getting chewed out, so I assisted—and now more work piled on.
Poke.
Anna peeked over and read the letter.
She said,
"...Isn't this the university I applied to?"
"Hm?"
I double-checked the document.
"...It is."