Chapter 4
Chapter 4
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Translator: Ace
Chapter: 4
Chapter Title: Magic Survey School
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[Magic Survey School]
The door was plastered with faded notices so old it was impossible to tell when they'd been posted.
"Perfect."
I grabbed the doorknob with a satisfied smile.
The door creaked open, and a musty smell of old paper assaulted my nose.
Piles of documents littered the lab.
And amid the chaos, at the desk buried under the tallest stack, sat a middle-aged man.
He was wrestling with the papers, his eyes hollow and sunken.
Is that Professor Dolloren, the School Head?
At my entrance, he whipped his head up irritably, his voice sharp as a blade.
"Peddlers and solicitors—it's posted on the door."
"...There were so many plastered up there, I must've missed it."
"Damn..."
He let out a deep sigh and dove back into his paperwork.
Guess he's ignoring me.
Time for some shock therapy, then.
"I'm Isaac Uphills, the new enrollee."
"Like I said, we don't have money for magic tools or... What?"
"I'm a freshman."
"..."
His eyes sparkled at the word 'freshman'.
"A new student after ten years!"
"...No one's come in ten years?"
He sprang from his seat and rushed over to me.
Offering a handshake, he said,
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Giuseppe Garneri, lab director of the Magic Survey School. Call me by name."
"...You're not the School Head, then."
"Professor Dolloren, our School Head... well, she's off on another unauthorized dungeon run, as usual."
Unauthorized dungeon?
The name alone screams illegal.
She won't get arrested later, will she?
"It'll be a few more days before Professor Dolloren gets back."
He seized both my hands, overflowing with emotion as he shouted,
"I don't know what scam lured you here, but you've come to the right place!"
"..."
"Just breathe for now. As long as you don't bolt, since you want nothing from us."
"Yes, sir..."
Is a new student really such a big deal?
I figured he'd pile work on me, but it looks like he'll let me coast until I settle in.
'Fine by me.'
Might as well savor the sweet ride.
With that, I claimed one of the empty desks and sat down.
That's when Giuseppe spoke up.
"Want something to drink at least? Hungry?"
"No, I'm good. Really."
"...All right. Make yourself at home while I wrap this up. Treat it like your own place."
"Yes, thank you."
Scribble-scribble.
The only sound in the lab was Giuseppe's pen scratching away.
I asked him,
"How long have you been at that work?"
Giuseppe finally spoke up.
"...3."
Not three days, since it wouldn't pile up like this. Must be three weeks.
"—Three months. Been chained to these for the last three."
"..."
A heavy silence fell.
'Three months, not three weeks...?'
Blowing half a semester on paperwork.
That's less joke and more horror story.
"..."
"..."
We stared at each other without a word.
'Giuseppe's gonna drop dead at this rate.'
This isn't the time for me to slack alone.
We're in the same boat—we should help each other out.
"Giuseppe."
"Yeah?"
"Mind if I help with the paperwork?"
"You? You just got here... You sure you can?"
"Yes. I picked up basic admin work in university."
"Even so, I can't dump work on a fresh newbie..."
I pointed to the cot beside the desk.
"You look exhausted. Lie down and rest."
Giuseppe's gaze shifted to the bed.
Pondering it?
Odd.
After three months of hell, he'd jump at the offer.
A moment later, he spoke.
"...Even if you can't handle the actual work, at least familiarize yourself with the forms while I nap."
"Sure thing."
"And!"
"..."
"Absolutely do not run away while I'm out."
"...Yes, sir."
What a weighty promise.
Someone must've bolted before.
He shuffled toward the cot.
"I... need a break."
"..."
Something pitiful stirred in me at the sight.
Doing paperwork in a world without Excel...
Horrifying.
He hadn't even settled in before Giuseppe started snoring.
Snort-snort.
Sleep tight.
I'll finish the work.
"All right, then. Let's get started."
I turned to the papers.
"Sure is a mountain."
And not even internal records—these were for external reports.
Probably for the Imperial Court and the Magic Tower.
They're the school's lifelines, after all.
The stack seemed endless, no matter how many I cleared.
"Excel would be perfect right now..."
I froze.
My hand with the quill stopped dead.
"Wait. Why not just make one...?"
No Excel? Make it.
'I've always approximated nonlinear differentials by burning mana for close values.'
Turn that process into a magic tool, and it'd make a killer Excel machine.
Let's give it a shot.
I scrounged nearby for materials.
A broken chair leg.
A dead clock.
And mana crystal dust.
Should be enough.
Giuseppe dreamed.
A dream of his childhood self reading an epic poem in his father's study.
The young Giuseppe said,
"And so the great mage Dolloren vanquished the magic dragon. Wow... so cool."
The old, ailing Giuseppe stared blankly at his younger self from beyond the study.
'I never should've read that book...'
Then maybe he wouldn't have ended up under Dolloren.
Of course, Dolloren wasn't a bad person.
She always treated him like her best friend.
But not as a fellow researcher.
She dumped the school's internals on him while stirring up trouble everywhere, always dragging back new problems.
Years passed, and all he'd gained were dark circles.
Giuseppe understood.
Geniuses never grasp the minds of the ordinary.
It stung, but he didn't blame her.
Geniuses just charge ahead, leaving the rest behind.
'My fault for being born ordinary.'
Giuseppe smirked at his dream self.
'Steel yourself, Giuseppe. You've got twenty more years of cleaning up after Dolloren.'
Giuseppe turned away, stepping into reality.
To stave off the school's closure, he had to somehow finish every document the Imperial Court demanded—on time.
That's when Giuseppe opened his eyes.
In bed, no less, for the first time in ages.
"My shoulders feel great..."
He hadn't passed out at the desk.
'Oh yeah, that new kid showed up.'
Said he'd handle paperwork, but no way he could do it properly.
Still.
The willingness to try was commendable.
Giuseppe chuckled and approached Isaac.
"The Imperial manual's a beast, huh? Even if you mess up, don't quit—just tackle 'em one by—"
Then he saw it.
"Wha...?"
Click-clack. Scribble-scribble.
A wooden prosthetic-shaped magic tool busily writing documents on its own.
"What... in the world."
Giuseppe's eyes shook like they were caught in an earthquake.
Isaac spotted him.
"Oh, you're up."
"...Yeah."
Giuseppe couldn't find words.
Questions need context, and this was pure bewilderment.
Click-clack.
Undeterred, the magic tool kept at it.
It resembled an unfinished wooden prosthetic hand, dutifully filling out forms.
[Year 342 / Supplies Purchase / Expense: 3 Gold / Balance: 127 Gold]
"Holy hell."
A curse slipped from Giuseppe's lips.
"What the heck did you make, newbie?"
"A calculator."
"Calculator...?"
The calculators Giuseppe knew were clunky messes of gears and cogs—useless junk.
Mages could handle basic arithmetic in their sleep. Why bother with one?
'But this...'
Click-clack.
Watching it churn out paperwork, it was no simple adding machine.
'It's handling the work itself...'
Giuseppe's intuition broke it down.
"You send intent through mana, and it renders it as text...?"
He grasped the 'what,' but the 'how' eluded him completely.
The new grad student, Isaac, grinned and answered.
"Exactly. I named it the 'Spreadsheet Mana Differential Engine.'"
"Huh."
Ridiculously long name.
Any business proposal with that would get shredded.
Isaac added,
"...Or just call it 'Excel.'"
"Excel, huh..."
No clue what it meant, but it had a nice ring.
This was straight-up...
"Revolutionary."
Giuseppe stared at Isaac as he said it.
The agony of paperwork came down to 'hands.'
Your brain solves it, but your hands lag, turning a day into torture.
Now someone—or something—else could do it.
No more scribbling till your fingers snapped.
Bliss.
Half entranced, Giuseppe asked the newbie,
"Where'd you borrow this thing? Alchemy School? Rental fee?"
"Nothing like that."
"No?"
"I just made it."
"...You're kidding."
"Want the blueprints?"
Giuseppe took the Excel blueprints from Isaac.
'Holy hell...'
Most was encrypted gibberish, but the mana circuits were legible.
'Converts polynomials into recurrences, then loops simple calculations...'
No room for arithmetic errors there.
The rest? Zero clue.
Except the structure.
'Excel's arm from a chair leg, power gears from a busted clock spring.'
'Whipping up a magic tool from trash...'
A shiver raced down Giuseppe's spine.
"...A actual newbie made this?"
It resurrected that sensation from first meeting Dolloren.
Isaac Uphills was a genius.
"No time to chat—gotta keep working."
Isaac grabbed the top parchment from the pile and placed it in the magic circle's center.
The crystal shards atop the circle began to glow faintly.
Moments later, the prosthetic swept over a blank sheet at the circle's edge.
And just like that, the [Magic Tower Certified School Maintenance Qualification Review Report] was done.
All from Isaac 'thinking' it while seated.
Mind-blowing, every time.
"H-how... does this...?!"
Words failed him.
Next doc, then the next.
Perfectly sorted ledgers piled up—by year, category, expense/income.
Each one had tormented Giuseppe all day.
He'd seen the blueprints, but still no grasp on the mechanics.
Giuseppe gave up trying to understand.
Instead, he told Isaac,
"You're a genius."
"No, I'm not."
"Modesty in excess is a vice."
"...I really mean it."
"You're too good to rot here. I'll report to Professor Dolloren and write you a recommendation."
In Giuseppe's eyes, this wasn't a place for geniuses.
Truly regrettable... but just as Dolloren had left him behind, this kid had the chops to do the same.
"Just—when you go, leave 'Excel' behind."
Isaac looked flustered at that.
"...No need for that."
"Not being humble... Then why? With talent like this, the Imperial Court, Magic Tower—anywhere you want."
"I want to stay right here."
"...What?"
Giuseppe stared him down.
What did this kid just say?
"I'm serious, senior."
"..."
"I'll take this place as my grave."
Isaac's words brought tears to Giuseppe's eyes.
This genius had no plans to abandon him.