A Reunion That Isn't Entirely Joyful (3)
There was a time when I was sick to death of human relationships. At work, I was crushed by my department head—a bald, nagging, old-fashioned tyrant—and when I returned home, I had to coddle a girlfriend who did nothing but play around and mooch off me. On days like holidays when I had to visit my parents' house, I would sigh from the moment I woke up. When are you getting married? You're almost thirty, have you saved up 100 million won? Why are you working at a small business instead of a better company? I knew they were saying it for my own good, but that didn't make it any easier to hear.
Sometimes, there are better ways to communicate than speaking face-to-face. Conversations held in person felt significantly more burdensome than other forms of communication. I don't know about others, but that’s how I felt, at least. That was why I envied the active, positive people, the chaebols who lived without worrying about money, and the elites working at prestigious companies. So, as Mate Daylight in my second life, I decided to live more actively and positively than before. I toured various dungeons to rapidly increase my funds, and I trained hard enough to become the runner-up in the Magic Department, ensuring I wouldn't bring shame to the reputation of being in Yuren Stardust’s party. It was far busier and harder than living as a regular citizen in a country, but it was still bearable.
Part of it was that the more I put in the effort, the more time I got to spend with the heroines.
- It’s all thanks to you. Thank you.
- For what?
- For saving my father, and for saving my family. It’s all thanks to you.
As long as the heroines could be happy, I didn't mind overworking my body to the breaking point. Judith’s family issues, Muse’s revolution to seize imperial power, Sia’s corruption, Shirai’s blindness—I solved everything on my own. Of course, in the case of the revolution, I had the help of many, since the scale was just so massive. From the immortal Sia Stella and Shirai, who could lead the entire Espera Denomination, to the genius mage of the century, Erpin von Herta, and Judith, the eldest daughter of the Moondust Duchy. And finally, Princess Niphia, the only member of the imperial family I could contact within my reach.
I had risen from a simple, one-time disposable character to a supporting-cast level position through my own efforts. Especially during the battle against Asura, I had shared life and death with the heroines, building a foundation of friendship, trust, and countless other emotions. That was why I had considered them comrades until now, and I was certain that if a difficult situation befell me, they would come to help me at any time. Because they were reliable comrades who had faced life and death with me. Because I believed they were the most precious connections I had.
That faith, which hadn't even wavered when Judith cheated on me, was on the verge of collapsing for the first time in my life because of a single, whispered sentence from Shirai.
"If you abandon me, I'll tell everyone. The secrets of the Daylight Church that only I know."
I had always tried to treat the heroines positively. No, even without trying, my heart was so full of affection for them that it was impossible to treat them coldly in the first place. I always prioritized their feelings over my own, never showing a hint of exhaustion, and maintained a positive attitude.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
It was only for a split second, but my voice had sunk so low that even I was taken aback. If I, the person speaking, was surprised, how must the others have felt? From the moment Shirai joined, the atmosphere in the office had been incredibly brutal—to the point where one might think, "Could the atmosphere get any worse than this?" It sounds like a lie, but the already ruined atmosphere turned even colder at my words. It was proof that the mood was cooling at a rapid pace. The chilling cold, as if the air conditioner had been turned on, was felt directly on my skin.
"If you want to say it, you can go ahead."
"...Ah? W-wait..."
Shirai stammered in confusion, hastily grabbing my right arm. She had closed her eyes again, and the eerie feeling from a moment ago was gone. She was the usual gentle and pure Shirai. Because she always walked with her eyes closed, her long, pretty eyelashes stood out even more, and even in situations where I felt like blowing a fuse from anger, just seeing her pretty face would naturally calm my rage and bring peace to my heart. She was a being so beautiful and angelic that she was called the Blind Angel. But why? Now, even looking at Shirai’s face, I felt nothing. I didn't want to get angry at her, and I subconsciously avoided it. Because of that, the resentment I had been suppressing all this time burst out in a different way.
"I said you can tell them I'm a cult leader."
At the words I spat out like a sudden outburst, Shirai, with a face full of regret, remained frozen for a long time, unable to move a single finger.
A chill as if standing barefoot on a sheet of thin ice. Was this also part of Muse’s plan? But even Muse’s violet pupils were trembling slightly, just like everyone else’s. Even if it were just me, it was never common for Muse to show such confusion in front of others. No one could open their lips, maintaining a heavy silence.
First, I quickly organized my thoughts. In the absolute worst-case scenario, if everyone here sided with Muse, what I needed to do first. Comparing the strength of the remaining figures I hadn't recruited yet against these four heroines here. There was a chance of winning. If Erpin von Herta and Princess Niphia worked properly for me.
I finished my rough calculations and pulled Shirai’s hand off my right arm. "Muse, I know exactly what you're thinking."
I straightened my dress shirt, tie, and blazer, then stood up from the sofa. Perhaps because I had been sitting for too long, there wasn't a single part of me from my shoulders to my toes that didn't feel stiff. I stretched lightly by forming my arms into a cross shape. After pulling them to the limit, I finished my preparations to move with one last stretch.
My footsteps headed toward the sofa where Sia was sitting. I stared intently at Sia, who was leaning back against the sofa and unable to meet my eyes.
"Sia."
A shabby robe and a petite frame. Usually, the hair of girls around this age smells fragrant, a subtle mix of shampoo and perfume. However, Sia is different. From the silver hair swaying inside her robe, I could feel the scent of nature itself. It wasn't the artificial scent of detergents like shampoo, conditioner, or body wash, but the true scent of nature, like taking a deep breath in a forest overflowing with blades of grass.
"Are you worrying a lot?"
Sia turned her body at a right angle to face me. However, she couldn't meet my eyes, and with her head bowed, she just kept pulling at her robe.
"Muse said it a moment ago. That I was the one who used you."
The revolution hasn't even happened yet. There are plenty of opportunities to make amends. For instance, using the romantic feelings directed toward me to persuade them with sweet talk. Of course, no matter what happens, I won't do such a thing. What I want is the happiness of the heroines. I wouldn't want to see them being swayed here and there just because of romantic feelings, even if it killed me.
"I won't deny it. Because it's true to some extent."
Sia flinched. Her complexion grew even paler. She must not have expected the word 'used' to come out of my mouth. I wanted to tell Sia, who was so dejected, that you have to listen to the end of a Korean sentence. "Then this time, you choose. With your own will, whose side you will stand on."
I had always wanted Sia to live freely, not bound by anything. I wanted her to show that free-spiritedness far and wide in a clean environment that smelled as strongly of nature as her hair.
"It's okay if you don't take anyone's side. You can think, 'It has nothing to do with me anyway, so I shouldn't care.' When choosing something, your own will is always what's important."
Yes. Your own will. "...Yeah."
Sia met my eyes of her own volition, smiled slightly, and nodded.
"You've been glancing over here for a while, haven't you? At my wrist."
As she remembered shooting an arrow at my wrist yesterday, her complexion darkened again. Seeing her expression change at a single word from me gave me a slight sense of dissonance. I hadn't done anything particularly special for her, yet she seemed to care for me so much.
"I'm fine, so you don't need to worry."
As soon as the words 'I'm fine' left my mouth, Sia let out a sigh of relief.
'That’s a load off my mind.' I had said what I wanted to say, and now all that was left was to escape this dreadful office. I lifted my hips from the sofa, stood up, and slowly headed toward where the door was. And I would have grabbed the doorknob, pulled it, and escaped the office. If only Shirai hadn't grabbed my wrist.
"I was wrong."
I had reached the door and had already pulled on the doorknob. Through the gap in the door, I could even see the female staff member who had been supporting Shirai. All I had to do was walk out like this. The strength with which Shirai held my wrist was weak enough to be easily shaken off. But her desperate attitude, trying not to let go, made me hesitate for a moment.
"I'm sorry... for threatening you. I... I think I was crazy for a moment."
Shirai whispered in a voice that sounded like she was about to burst into tears, looking as if she were aggrieved even though there were eyes watching. It was enough to make me, the listener, feel pity for her.
"We... we'll still be together, right...?"
Then and now, I always gave the same answer to Shirai’s question. To ensure she wouldn't harbor even a shred of expectation or disappointment. This time, the answer was the same.
"I don't know."
I shook off Shirai’s hand and walked out of the office. The outside air was refreshing, as expected. Even if my heart didn't feel that way at all.