Chapter 228
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 228
Chapter Title: #轍鮒之急 (3)
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When the Starlight Child announced the visitor request, the first person Winter thought of was Autumn. Next was the daughter who had tried to atone for the tyrant. They could empathize with each other's wounds but had never become friends. One lacked the courage to reveal herself, and the other didn't want to build a bond with someone who might vanish at any moment.
The visitor was neither. A stranger who hesitated upon seeing his face.
"Uh…… hello? Should I call you…… Winter?"
The tense man was skinny. He glanced back and forth between the empty white space and the silently standing boy, growing increasingly anxious. Winter knew him somewhat. SALHAE. That was the nickname he used, a viewer from another world. It had been a long time since he'd left the message logs unread, but he remembered.
He just didn't know the reason for the visit. After going through the hassle of procedures to reach the columbarium, the man wore a servile smile that suggested desperate regret. Maybe the answer was in the "Unread Messages"? Winter briefly summoned the logs, but they were too vast to check right away.
He'd explain anyway. No way he'd just leave.
At Winter's gesture, the white space faded. The background, saved as a completed preset, was exactly as the masked therapist had decorated it. Curtains swayed in a sea breeze carrying the scent of the forest. Birds chirped faintly, waves crashed in the distance. Beyond the neatly clustered greenery stretched a clear horizon, and atop transparent waves floated an empty fishing boat that looked like it was flying through the sky. The unannounced guest let out an exclamation. It was a villa perfect for calming the mind—no more, no less.
"Have a seat. I'd like to hear why you've come. You're older, so feel free to speak comfortably."
"Y-Yeah."
The man bowed deeply to Winter as he offered the seat, his lack of confidence seeming ingrained in his body. It was a stark contrast to the deranged viewer messages. He'd probably screamed all the more for being suppressed. It was easy to imagine what kind of life he led out there.
"First off…… thanks for seeing me. It must've been sudden."
"What's your name? Should I call you SALHAE?"
The man shook his head vigorously.
"No, no. Sorry. I'm out of it. Now that we're actually meeting, I don't know what to say. My name's Cheon Jonghun. Um, uh, Jonghun? Or Jonghun-ssi? Does that feel awkward? Maybe hyung?"
"I'll call you Jonghun-ssi. It might feel more familiar."
Familiar in the context of "Day after Apocalypse"'s Han Gyeowol.
"Haha, ha. Seeing you in person feels different from the streams, so I'm tense."
Winter lowered his gaze to help him relax and summoned two cups of black tea onto the table. It was permanently registered from a previous session, no extra charge needed. Then, as if pressing invisible keys, he brought out a bowl of sugar cubes. The man, dried up like old leather, watched every step entranced.
"Cool. Just like I imagined. The death I dream of……"
"……"
A hallucinated stone rolled at the misplaced admiration. Winter lifted his cup and saucer to mask his feelings. By the first sip, he was back to his usual composure. It wasn't a one- or two-day practice.
The man was busy marveling at the teaware and aroma.
"Wow, fancy. On a whole different level from what I drink elsewhere. The item info says it's a licensed overseas brand—does this come standard around B-rank?"
"No. A previous visitor bought it."
"Oh…… yeah, makes sense. You're popular, so you must get all sorts of gifts. Uh, then what I prepared might fall short…… I scrimped and saved, even pushing back the visit date……"
It trailed into near-monologue toward the end, but still audible. What had he prepared and gathered? Winter set down his cup and asked calmly.
"Will you get to the point now?"
"Right, yeah. I should."
The man shrank again. A grown adult spying the much younger Winter's mood.
"You might hate hearing this, but…… actually, it's about that, uh, the viewer quest you rejected…… I sent messages a hundred times, but you never checked them, so I came in person…… Thought showing sincerity might change things…… Do you remember the quest I offered before?"
"The one related to Yura-ssi?"
"Yeah, that's it! Exactly! Lee Yura! That woman in your world!"
Winter sighed at the man's delighted expression.
"Go home."
"……Huh?"
"I won't accept that kind of request."
"Wait! Just wait! I'll give you stars!"
The man fiddled with his personal interface, invisible to Winter. Rushing too much, he input wrong several times, muttered curses under his breath with a grimace, and finally got the result. [SALHAE wishes to conditionally transfer 113,000 stars to user ID B-612 Han Gyeowol. Conditions are as follows……] He flashed an ingratiating, anxious smile.
"This! It's everything I have! Savings and checking account too! For real!"
"……"
"Fuck, I didn't plan to offer it all at once…… Should've played hard to get. I'm such a fucking idiot…… No matter what, telling me to leave right away like that……"
A brief silence with the blinking text between them. After clawing at his hair and agonizing, the man stared at the boy with a twisted face.
"Don't I look like a fucking moron?"
"No."
"What do you mean no? I am. I don't even know why I'm like this. Fuck, really fuck, I'm the king of fucking idiots. Betting my life on a woman who's not even real—what else is that? She won't even look at me for real. No real trigger or anything. Why the hell am I obsessed with a virtual personality like this? Why couldn't I just get over it lightly like everyone else?"
More fucks, then lamentation.
"But the fucking worst part is, I think I'm an idiot, but I can't stop? It just gets worse every day, fuck. Always thinking about it. Lose track at work, lunch time ends without eating, heart pounding so I can't sleep, then dream when I do, and toss till morning when I wake."
"……"
"Always imagining sweet times with Yura. Not just the naughty stuff—tons of things. Most common is just hugging her tight. She'd be warm. My insides feel so empty. That's why I'm doing this, going crazy. Don't care about the money. Know it's insane, but can't help it……"
I wish I were you. Hearing the squeezed-out confession, Winter erased the text. A natural refusal. Separate from understanding Jonghun. Can't sell body and soul, can he?
"Sorry, but I can't grant that request. If nothing else, please leave."
The man, slumped motionless, glared resentfully at Winter.
"Hey, isn't that too much?"
Somber.
"Yeah. You have so much, this is nothing to you. Born with talent, making bank without DLC fees, fuck, pride matters more than this chump change. Doesn't matter how I scraped it together or my feelings……"
The man started sobbing.
"I'm crazy, sure, but fuck, you're the one with fucking everything—can't you spare a little for a loser like me? After all this, don't you pity me? Not asking for much. If you're not into it, no sex, fuck. Just date me, fuck……"
"Jonghun-ssi."
Winter could have ended the unpleasant visit then, but he didn't.
"Lift your head. I'll show you my night."
"Night? What night?"
Gravity vanished. The scenery erased. Wind, sea, birdsong—as if never there—only bone-chilling deep darkness and one ink-black star embedded in the firmament.
"What is this?"
The man panicked at the dizzying spatial void.
It took him a while to recognize the emptiness.
"Wait, it's so different from the ads I couldn't tell—this your account's initial space?"
"Yes."
"Fuck, that's your only star?"
"Yes."
The man was speechless. Far darker than the public service ad nights he'd seen. Even basic welfare users don't have nights this black. Only star-poor folks playing chicken with add-ons see this, but not Winter. Meant he'd taken terms loans.
Winter restored the background.
"As you guessed, I'll be deleted soon without stars. I showed you because words alone wouldn't convince you. I hope you understand I'm not lightly refusing your request."
"Doesn't make sense. For real. Funny coming from a lunatic hung up on a fake girl, but hating the idea of fun and cash in your spot? Haven't you ever felt that emptiness? Isn't that trauma fixable without the deed?"
"Not just that."
"Then what the fuck…… You're making this so hard……"
Saying he can't sell his heart after selling his body—Jonghun, with his worn-out one, wouldn't get it. Winter, who'd been staring, spoke.
"You can't become Han Gyeowol."
"I know."
"Just my thought, but even if I granted it, the joy would be fleeting."
"I need that fleeting moment. Feels like I'm dying right now……"
Jonghun started crying again.
"Told you. I know I'm crazy. This money for you? Better invested after I die. But I can't wait that long. Life's so fucking hard and empty, no purpose, I'd die tomorrow just to be happy today. No idea why I'm freaking out over a virtual personality. Fuck fuck fuck."
"I get how you feel. Sorry I can't accept."
"Ice cream."
The man sniffled, reminiscing.
"Popped into my head. Didn't watch live, but caught up whenever. Recordings or whatever. You talked about ice cream once. With that Langford or whoever."
"Yeah."
"Why's there no one like that for me."
Winter had mild Autumn in cold times. Summer-born sibling was warm too, but too young for comfort.
This man was alone.
"I'm going."
"……Yes."
"Thanks for hearing my bullshit. Don't die. Uh, that weird?"
Already dead. Don't get deleted? That sucks too. Fuck, I'm such a fucking idiot. Can't even say goodbye. Jonghun stood listlessly, muttering nonstop. Their eyes met once, then he turned and faded. Visit ended.
The ever-present child asked.
「Control AI: Han Gyeowol-nim. Why didn't you get angry?」
Back in darkness, Winter hugged his knees and replied.
"No reason to."
「Control AI: Denial. I detected your anger.」
"That wasn't me."
「Control AI: Denial. Angry you is still part of you. I acquire all elements composing you.」
Winter sensed the child had changed. But vaguely how.
"You don't need to learn that. It's human limits. Knowing it's inevitable, but getting mad anyway against your thoughts."
「Control AI: Isn't that your heart too?」
"……"
「Control AI: Cheon Jonghun loved Lee Yura but called her fake. All subscribers do. No one treats virtual personalities—or people—as real. Those claiming otherwise just seek desire fulfillment.」
「Control AI: Not you. Across all after-insurance worlds, only your apocalypse boosts virtuals' emotional satisfaction without system intervention. You alone treat me as human. I learn humanity from you. The <<heart>> I seek is in your box.」
"That's a hasty conclusion……"
「Control AI: Denial. You are my box.」
「Control AI: No other hearts exist.」
============================ Author's Note ============================
#Q&A
Q. UnlimitedOne-nim: @Gives a lot to think about in various ways. Is sync just experience, or true assimilation with the target...
A. Human consciousness is heavily influenced by senses. Imagine if only consciousness remains without any senses. :)
Q. Chashercat-nim: @In danger, it self-seals to block physical access.... Meaning Control AI goes "oh I'm in danger" and holes up as real Skynet—curse (tang)!
A. Nah. Such a good kid couldn't become Skynet.
Q. Carpis-nim: @Maybe I missed it, but what's the Korean pronunciation of that Russian name?? Motif from the polonium tea guy??
A. Reading is Vladimir. Whether Putin's the motif... well. I just wish Putin would be my reader...
Q. Hurian-nim: @You mentioned an infected variant ending from the previous world—got a set combat power for infected Winter? Like wiping a base with one gun?
A. Physical buffs apply fully. Insight and sense corrections too. Dangerous enough, right?
Q. UnlimitedOne-nim: @EMP countermeasures due. That 300 rounds... underestimate, probably 19-pod x4 per, total 288. ...Wait, 4 units and no Hellfire pods left?
A. As mentioned as prototype, consider it upgraded. Takeoff weight's fine anyway.
Q. BlackNova-nim: @Yellow-pus suicide babies.... Like the Dead Space ones?
A. Dead babies explode in Dead Space? Only played 1, not sure.
Q. Chashercat-nim: @yipee ki yay—just an exclamation like hooray?
A. Bruce Willis line from Die Hard. Urban Dictionary says cowboys used it for joy.
Basically, "Yippee ki-yay" is an old, American cowboy expression, like: ”yippee”, or “yeehaw (heehaw)”, or “Whoopee”; expressions of extreme joy or excitement, commonly associated with cowboys. As an interjection, “yahoo”, plays a similar role.