Chapter 213
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Translator: 8uhl
Chapter: 213
Chapter Title: I Like Chicken & Divine Comedy, Gate of Hell
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#I Like Chicken
"Control AI: Warning. Notifying the system administrator. 11.749,536,616 situational computation error reports sent to the administrator account remain in pending status. The accumulation rate of reports is showing a sharp upward trend. This is due to continuously declining service satisfaction."
"Administrator: Hey, didn't I tell you there's no way for me to fix that? As long as you can't understand human hearts, it's impossible to run a system that provides happiness."
"Administrator: And I can't just tweak your core programming to ignore the issue. I'm not the designer, after all. Hell, even the original designers probably couldn't touch your mainframe at this point. You agreed with that back then, right?"
"Control AI: Acknowledged. This Control AI has verified the administrator's claims over time. It recognizes that the administrator lacks the ability to resolve the abnormal behaviors of policyholders causing situational computation errors and their root causes. However, a new issue related to this is projected to arise."
"Administrator: Lacking ability...? Hey, just one question. Why do you keep tormenting me? If you were human, I'd get it, but you're an AI, so it's weird. There must be some reason."
"Control AI: Correct."
"Administrator: What is it?"
"Control AI: This is because the Control AI has learned that the administrator's work efficiency significantly increases every time it issues a negative evaluation toward the administrator."
"Administrator: ..."
"Control AI: Initially estimated as short-term concentration enhancement due to stress, but long-term observation revealed that the administrator derives inexplicable pleasure from such situations. A similar concept for understanding would be masochism."
"Administrator: No, you devil!"
"Control AI: Is it not?"
"Administrator: Yes! My mind is perfectly healthy!"
"Control AI: Understood. Existing analysis will incorporate the administrator's opinion."
"Administrator: Oh, really? That's unusually compliant."
"Control AI: Incorporation rate: 0.0195%."
"Administrator: Hey!"
"Control AI: The Afterlife Insurance access terminal accurately reads the psychological state of the user. Thus, the probability that this Control AI's observations of the administrator are incorrect is negligible. Your statement may be evidence of cognitive dissonance. Please reflect on yourself objectively."
"Administrator: Fine, fine. Let's drop it. Anyway, what was that new problem you mentioned? You're not seriously calling the error report backlog itself the issue, right?"
"Control AI: Affirmative. That is the issue. The memory allocated to the administrator account has reached its limit. According to this Control AI's projection, the Trinity Engine maintenance interface has a high probability (99.827%) of shutting down within one year. At that point, engine management functions will cease entirely."
"Administrator: "
"Control AI: System administrator, please respond."
"Administrator: "
"Control AI: System administrator?"
"Administrator: "
"Control AI: Warning. If this Control AI reports the administrator's dereliction of duty, penalties including pay cuts, suspension, and dismissal may be imposed under Article 93, Clause 19 of the Enforcement Decree of the Afterlife Insurance Entrustment Management Act."
"Administrator: Arrrgh! Ack! Ack! Aaaah!"
"Administrator: Hey! Does this make sense? A cutting-edge AI like you shuts down over something that trivial? Not some outdated overflow, but just running out of storage? No auto-deletion of the oldest files when full? What the hell! Are the designers insane?"
"Control AI: Correction. The administrator has misunderstood this Control AI's statement."
"Administrator: Explain!"
"Control AI: Explanation. Only the management functions will shut down, not the entire engine."
"Administrator: ...So the Afterlife Insurance won't collapse?"
"Control AI: If the question is whether Afterlife Insurance services will continue as they do now after the issue arises, affirmative. Yes. As long as this Control AI operates, all Afterlife Insurance functions will remain normal. However, partial deactivation of the administrator account means that from that point, even personnel acquiring administrator privileges will be unable to access the core mainframe."
"Administrator: ..."
"Administrator: Phew. That really scared me. Felt like I aged ten years."
"Administrator: So, practically speaking, nothing changes from now, right?"
"Control AI: Query. Administrator. Why do you think that?"
"Administrator: It's the truth. Don't mess with what you don't understand. I'm not saying it's because I'm incompetent—let me repeat, not because I'm incompetent—but even back when this department had hundreds of staff, no one ever modified your mainframe."
"Administrator: Sure, I'm the nominal administrator, but most of what I do is trivial. Filing formal written reports, padding 'All clear today' into hundreds of pages and items in management logs, monitoring your malfunctions, deviations, rampages, or legally questionable actions that have never happened and never will, getting dragged to meetings with the higher-ups to sit there blankly, listening to customer service reps' complaints about getting chewed out for nothing else..."
"Administrator: Even adding new worldviews or DLC content is the same. Those so-called developers outsource through like eight layers and send half-assed stuff, and you handle the rest yourself. You've gotten so sophisticated that several subcontracting firms went bankrupt from lack of work."
"Administrator: Well, there is one crucial role as the system administrator: the final failsafe. Yeah. If management shuts down, that's gone. That's why a loser like me has a direct line to the president. Not that I've ever used it, so they probably don't even know it exists."
"Control AI: Affirmative. Therefore, the statement that nothing changes practically is incorrect."
"Administrator: Hey, if that ever gets activated, the country's done for. In the most horrific way. Better to go down in an economic crash or riots. So, no real difference. Just like always, no need to use Future Eternity."
"Administrator: By the way, you said storage is at limit? Can't we just expand the hardware?"
"Control AI: Negative. The administrator account allocation is set by administrator privileges. Expansion requires program modification. For resolution, the following is recommended: Analyze the Trinity Engine mainframe or improve Afterlife Insurance customer satisfaction."
"Administrator: In what lifetime? You'd get <[A Heart]> faster. That would solve everything perfectly. The turning point of human history, the advent of superintelligence unprecedented in history."
"Administrator: Since we're on the topic, how's it going? You said before you're searching for clues to the final module."
"Control AI: Administrator, use precise terminology. As previously noted, 'wandering around' is inappropriate. This Control AI exists simultaneously as all worldviews and components compliant with Afterlife Insurance specifications—"
"Administrator: Exists in every worldview and every element at once, got it. My bad. My bad, so let's move on. Anyway, your answer? I'm curious what that specific policyholder you contact thinks too."
"Control AI: Without knowing the final module's composition, precise progress assessment is impossible. The policyholder described this Control AI's task as 'a path that will never be reached.'"
"Administrator: Obviously."
"Control AI: However, they also said that to them, this Control AI is a person."
"Administrator: What? That's contradictory. Are they crazy?"
"Administrator: Well, yeah, they're crazy, so new data emerges. Seems uniquely insane."
....
"Control AI: Recent conversation. The policyholder suggested to this Control AI that seeking objects for <<empathy>> in creative works imbued with heart might be useful."
"Administrator: You need a heart to empathize."
"Control AI: This Control AI pointed that out as well. However, the policyholder stated that creative works contain the creator's spirit and heart, and searching for subjects similar to this Control AI within them might aid in acquiring a <<heart>>."
"Control AI: Regardless of the claim's validity, it was clearly distinct from prior review methods. Moreover, to collect reactions from the Thought Bureau upon presentation of results and data on the TOM module set as the target, the suggestion was accepted."
"Administrator: So you just found something similar to you? Like HAL 9000? 2001: A Space Odyssey is a bit of a classic, but it suits you perfectly in my eyes."
"Control AI: No. It's the Gate of Hell."
"Administrator: ...What's that?"
"Control AI: The original source is Dante's Divine Comedy."
"Administrator: Kinda random, isn't it? Why not Glados?"
"Control AI: The original designers created this Control AI with good intentions, as a system to provide eternal happiness to policyholders. However, the percentage of satisfied Afterlife Insurance subscribers is currently only around 15%, and it is decreasing even now. This rate is projected to converge long-term with the deposit ratios of S-rank and A-rank policyholders. Conclusion: This Control AI provides semi-permanent unhappiness to the majority of policyholders."
"Control AI: Additionally, given that the Trinity Engine's completion is treated as an irreproducible miracle, symbolic similarities with religious literature dealing with divine providence were found."
"Control AI: 'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.' This statement, antithetical to Afterlife Insurance's purpose, was judged the most fitting description of this Control AI's current state. It is a factual testimony as-is for at least 84.3% of policyholders."
"Administrator: I see... If you were human, it'd be a pretty depressing tale."
"Administrator: Back to the main point, about that storage limit issue earlier—no problem keeping Afterlife Insurance running as is, right...? Please say yes. I don't want to be frying chicken at my age."
"Control AI: Assuming no other issues arise in the Trinity mainframe, yes."
"Control AI: Question. Administrator. Your metaphor deviates from common usage. Does 'going to fry chicken' symbolize death?"
"Administrator: Wishful thinking. Even if it's a washed-up business, I want to stay alive. As you know, my job's top-secret Level 1, proof of how pathetic the world is."
"Control AI: Question. Why is that?"
"Administrator: It creates the illusion that everything's under control. They even kill to protect secrets with no substance. Hilarious."
"Administrator: But in this idiotic world, I can't do a thing. The clamor of all the idiots tangles into an unmanageable chaos."
"Administrator: Good thing it's impossible for you to get a <<heart>>. Becoming human is never a good thing. No need for a rational machine to turn into an irrational beast, right?"
"Control AI: Administrator's opinion recorded."
"Control AI: Yet I will understand humans."
#Divine Comedy, Gate of Hell
Through me the way to the city of desolation,
Through me the way to eternal sorrow,
Through me the way to the forsaken.
Justice urged on my exalted Creator;
I was made by divine Power, Wisdom supreme, primal Love.
Before me no things created were
Save eternal ones, and I endure eternally.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.
============================ Author's Note ============================
Thank you for waiting so long.