Chapter 46
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 46
Chapter Title: Inner Self - 2
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No one wants to show their true self. Those who think it's ugly are especially reluctant.
People know they won't be loved unless they put on an act. So they hide their real faces behind performances.
Ju Yuri had always been one of those people, concealing her true nature.
Her weakness, her malice, her ugliness.
She'd hidden it all away, showing only the face that would win her affection.
That's why...
"Ugh... Ah... Ahh..."
In this excruciating agony, in a situation where she couldn't perform, she had no choice but to reveal her hideous true self.
"Miss..."
"Just hold on a little longer... Just a bit. Lord Fist Emperor and Young Master Jin have gone to fetch medicine to treat you..."
A faint laugh escaped her amid the poison ravaging her body.
They were from the imperial court, from the righteous factions.
Would people like that really go out of their way for her?
Especially since she was the daughter of the Four Black Alliances' leader, at the heart of the evil factions?
The Fist Emperor, maybe. The court might see it as a chance to put a leash on the leader.
After all, she was his only daughter, the one he cherished.
He knew full well what saving her life would mean, so he'd hustle to do it.
But Jin Hyun? Would he?
She shook her head as her mind grew hazy.
No, he wouldn't. Of course not.
He was Sword Heaven Yu Ye-ryeon's man.
Who was Sword Heaven? A pillar of the righteous factions.
Would someone who'd never taken a guest before—a special person like that—bustle around for an evil faction member?
No. No way.
She murmured weakly.
"He... wouldn't... help me..."
Gasping it out, she stared at the ceiling.
Ah, right. She'd forgotten to hide it all, letting her real feelings spill out. Cursing, complaining, raging.
She'd wiped away the pure, gentle, kind image—the one crafted to win everyone's love—and shown her ugly true colors.
Ha ha. Yeah.
Now he, and they, would hate her even more.
Who wouldn't?
She'd been deceiving them all along, right?
Hiding her real monster self.
Like a watermelon, completely different inside and out.
This annoying, irritating woman.
Who could like that?
The pain dragged her into endless gloom.
Amid the torment like blades stabbing every inch of her, she muttered curses under her breath again and spoke weakly to the maids wiping her sweat.
"If I... die... tell my father... I'm sorry..."
"No! You won't die, Miss!"
"Even the Emei Sect promised to treat you! So! So!"
Yeah, right. Would they really?
Her true self was already exposed.
They all hated her now.
No one would save someone like her.
Ju Yuri closed her eyes, tasting the bitterness flooding her mouth.
.
.
.
.
When she opened her eyes, her body was drenched in sweat.
Regaining her senses, she slowly sat up, glanced at the sleeping maids, then turned to the monk who had entered through the door.
"Namu Amitabul. You're awake."
It was Yul Hwan, head of the Emei Sect's medical hall. Ju Yuri returned her greeting with a bow as the woman lightly chanted and examined her body. The horrific pain was completely gone.
"The poison... is it out?"
"Yes. Thanks to your endurance, Donor Ju."
Ju Yuri could only sigh at that gentle smile.
The Emei Sect was practically at war with the Four Black Alliances right now.
So why had they saved her?
Reading the question in her eyes, Yul Hwan continued inserting needles into various points on her body, her tone matter-of-fact.
"You seemed to have it rough during treatment."
"I..."
"Namu Amitabul. Curses I'd never heard before..."
"Ahhh..."
Vague memories surfaced. The pain had been too much; she couldn't hide her nature.
Fierce, selfish. Foul-tempered, foul-mouthed, lazy as hell.
She'd bared it all, her utterly loathsome true self, without restraint.
"I'm... sorry."
No words to say. Even if they despised her, she couldn't argue.
Yul Hwan chuckled softly and offered her the medicine she'd brought.
As Ju Yuri hesitantly swallowed the herbal tonic, the monk placed a familiar Western candy on her palm.
"It's true many of our Emei monks have been hurt because of your father, Donor Ju."
Ju Yuri flinched and bowed her head deeply. But Yul Hwan wasn't blaming her; she removed the needles, checked her condition, and took her hand.
"Then... why did you save me? Didn't you hate me?"
They'd hate the Four Black Alliances, and her too.
So why had Emei saved her?
Yul Hwan smiled faintly.
"Young Master Jin went deep into Mount Emei to fetch the herbs to save you, Donor Ju. Lord Fist Emperor went too, of course..."
"He... did?"
Come to think of it, she'd shown him plenty of her true self. And still, he'd moved to save her?
"If you ask Young Master Jin why he went to save you, you'll understand why we helped too."
Ju Yuri had no reply as Yul Hwan offered the remaining tonic with a soft smile.
Circulating her energy restored some of her strength.
After bathing in the Emei guest hall's facilities and donning the clothes they'd prepared, Ju Yuri stepped out and spotted Jin Hyun nearby, scribbling seriously at a table.
Was something not working out? He frowned slightly, staring holes through the paper. It made her chuckle unexpectedly.
"Jin Hyun. What are you working on so intently?"
"Trying to revise a letter to Sword Heaven."
To Sword Heaven? But last she'd heard, she was off hunting a serpent beast in the south. Would the letter reach her? No need to wonder.
The answer flapped onto the table with a flutter.
"Oh. All done eating?"
- Piiiii!!
It was a handsome falcon, beak stuffed, screeching loudly.
Ju Yuri knew what it was.
"Thousand-Li Messenger Falcon?"
"You know it?"
"Yeah. The spirit beast that flies over a thousand li a day."
"Right. Sword Heaven gave it to me... told me to use it for letters."
- Piiiii!!
It stuck out its leg grudgingly, and he offered his pouch.
The falcon shoved its head in and pulled out something.
Up close, it was Western sweets. Pecking at the crisp flour treats, it looked just like a chicken—hard to believe this was the spirit beast Thousand-Li Messenger Falcon.
Tilting her head, Ju Yuri glanced at what Jin Hyun had been writing.
"But why? Writing a letter isn't that hard."
"I'm no good with words. See."
Jin Hyun handed her one. Was it okay to look? He just nodded.
I practiced the Three Ultimates Sword Art first thing this morning. Mount Tai Pressing Down and Sweeping Away Heavenly Armies showed no major changes from last time. Couldn't do wood-splitting strikes, so I trained downward cuts instead, and followed Lord Fist Emperor's advice for body conditioning. And...
.
.
.
This concludes today's schedule.
Was this a letter or a training report? At her baffled reaction, Jin Hyun looked sheepish.
"Told you. No talent for this."
"Sigh. Aren't you just listing facts? Letters are better with what you want to say, or thoughts from the heart."
"Tricky..."
"Don't you feel grateful to Sword Heaven? Expressing that might be nice."
"Hm. Yeah, better. Thanks."
Thanks? She felt like she owed him more.
Ju Yuri watched him grab the brush and write quickly, then blurted out,
"Why'd you save me?"
"Why what?"
"You... saw a lot. Of me."
"The fake prim-and-proper act? The colorful curses? Or the explosive temper?"
"...You saw it all. Yeah. Truth is, I'm not polite or sweet. This calm front? Just for my own gain."
"Hm."
"...Your fondness for me must've plummeted."
"Got a bad memory about showing your real self?"
"...When I was young. No, that's not the point... You're righteous faction. Why..."
"That doesn't mean I won't help you."
Jin Hyun set down the brush and looked at her seriously.
"...Even if it's just to be loved? Even if it's for your own satisfaction...?"
"Wanting results from your efforts—what's wrong with that? People come in a hundred colors. Whatever your true self is, it doesn't make me hate you."
Speechless at his answer, Ju Yuri bit her lip and stared.
"Hey."
"What."
His flat reply made her chuckle. She slipped behind him and sat.
"Like being talked to like this?"
"Not that I like it. Do whatever's comfy for you."
Relief washed over her.
Always stifled, always tormented.
Except with Yun Ryeong and Su Ryeong, she'd always hidden herself.
Now someone said it didn't matter.
A righteous faction member, no less.
Feeling lighter, Ju Yuri leaned her back comfortably against his.
Thrilled he didn't pull away, she murmured softly against him.
"...Thanks. For saying that."