The Melancholy Bard and the Calamity-Slaying Scepter
The elevator shot upward without mercy.
It felt like a rocket blasting into space.
‘…Is this thing even going to stop?!’
He had once had a nightmare like this.
In the dream, he rode an elevator that punched straight through a building and flew into the sky.
But this was reality.
Not a single breeze slipped inside, yet the sense of speed was unmistakable.
He had no idea how tall the tower was, but at this velocity they would reach the top in no time.
“Just in case, I’d better prepare in advance. Come forth, Melancholy Bard!”
Swish.
A shadow rose from behind Kim Hwang-je.
“Uuuuuuu…”
“What the—why is it behind me… huh?!”
Kim Hwang-je jumped in shock at the sight.
It had no eyes, no nose, no mouth—just a pitch-black silk cloth flipped upside down. The bottom hem fluttered even though there was no wind.
“Uuuuuuu…”
The sound it made was somewhere between a sob and the howl of the wind.
It truly looked like a ghost straight out of an old folktale.
There was no aura, no horrifying presence, not even the misty vapor a humidifier might spew.
Rather, that very emptiness made the creature feel anything but ordinary.
Alarm
Your Majesty.
Do you know of the taxidermied natural disaster?
He is melancholy.
Kim Hwang-je carefully reread the status window.
Alright.
He knew what taxidermy was.
It was the process of preserving a corpse with chemicals and putting it on display.
Ever since the Monster Age began, taxidermy had become the most popular luxury item among the rich.
Orc head mounts had been quite the trend.
The mysteries of the human body had gone out of fashion, replaced by exhibitions like “The Mysteries of Monsters.”
But…
This was far too supernatural to simply call it taxidermy.
Kim Hwang-je swallowed hard and slapped his own cheek.
Looking back at everything that had happened so far, even the strangest beings had never treated him badly.
After all, these were entities summoned through Resident Summon.
They owed absolute loyalty to him, the emperor.
Kim Hwang-je cautiously reached out.
“For starters, is this even skin?”
When he tried to touch it, the creature shrank back and gently dodged.
Yet it didn’t flee. It simply circled him once before stopping in place.
Did he need something else to touch it?
It looked like a jellyfish drifting limply in the deep sea—only made of cloth.
A ghost friend?
Even inside the windless elevator, it swayed like a soft veil. The sight was both supernatural and strangely ominous.
It felt as if the boundary between death and reality had become fabric and was trembling.
“…Natural disaster, huh.”
A calamity sent from the heavens…
This thing was no pushover either.
“But why is it a eunuch? And why is it called a bard?”
Alarm
Your Majesty.
Throughout the ages, emperors personally presided over heavenly rituals to resolve natural disasters.
During those rites, the emperor was required to sing and dance.
After the calamities were resolved, they were sliced thin, taxidermied, and turned into the emperor’s dance partners!
“…So you’re saying I have to dance?”
That is correct.
Who is the Melancholy Bard?
It is none other than Your Majesty.
Wear the cloth and become the weeping bard!
Express your sorrow for the suffering people of the empire through dance!
The taxidermied natural disaster shall assist you!
He had never imagined this.
“It’s not a summon type, it’s an equip type?”
That’s certainly different.
Well, slimes and golems exist, so why not items too?
“Ahem. So how exactly do I wear this on my head…?”
Suddenly, a heavy voice spoke.
“Weep. Calamity Slaying Scepter.”
What?!
Why is a mouthless thing suddenly opening up?!
The cloth parted, and from within it a massive golden scepter slowly emerged.
It resembled a battalion commander’s baton—the very rod a king would wield when issuing commands.
“…Ugh, it looks like it’s throwing up.”
But the creature didn’t move an inch.
As he stared at the cloth floating motionless in the air, he couldn’t tell whether it had truly spoken or if he had misheard.
“This is getting confusing as hell…”
A long scepter with a hand that only extended its index finger.
It gleamed brilliantly under the light, impossible to hide.
It was completely different from the tablets officials carried. Completely!
Kim Hwang-je took hold of the scepter.
Alarm
Your Majesty.
You have obtained the First Law Scepter, the Calamity Slaying Scepter.
Gather the various law scepters and combine them into one.
Only then shall the true Imperial Scepter appear.
What a disgusting naming sense.
Kim Hwang-je narrowed his eyes and examined the scepter closely.
For some reason, it looked like it could point at a mountain and order it to be dug up and moved.
◈ An emperor who has faced calamity must personally preside over the ritual to reassure the people.
◈ (Additional Event) Gather the law scepters to create the Imperial Scepter.
Because You Ruined the Empire’s Revival, Take Responsibility
* Point the scepter at the taxidermied natural disaster and loudly shout the skill name.
* The taxidermied natural disaster will assist you.
“W-wait, what the hell is this skill?”
Clunk!
Before he could finish speaking, the elevator reached its destination.
The vertical doors slid open wide, revealing a massive altar right in front of him.
“Huh?”
“Eh?”
Katima’s face was right in front of his nose!
The beautiful white-haired, golden-eyed beauty stared at Kim Hwang-je with wide eyes.
“Why are you coming out from there?”
“That’s what I want to ask.”
Kim Hwang-je was equally dumbfounded.
Katima?
Why was Howling’s puppet here?
“Sister, it’s him!”
“Stop acting so jumpy!”
Catiyu was scolded and lowered his head.
Kim Hwang-je examined Catiyu.
With only a handsome head attached to black armor, he looked like a final-boss from the end of an era.
His body was ridiculously huge compared to his face, like a shoulder villain.
“Wow. Standing in the middle like that, you actually look like the boss. Even though you’re really just a minion.”
“Human, cease your petty provocations!”
But he wasn’t entirely wrong.
Katima stood on the left, Catiyu in the center, and Jo Chun-ki on the right.
And right in front of the altar where they stood, a tree carrying an elevator had suddenly burst upward.
Kim Hwang-je shot Jo Chun-ki a look full of contempt.
“Hey, old man. You said you had nothing to do with Howling. So you were the mastermind behind the Gaya Hotel incident after all?”
“…How did this bastard get here so quickly?”
As expected, Jo Chun-ki didn’t confess.
Thinking about the meteor he had sucked into his groin, Kim Hwang-je felt a surge of rage and pounded his own chest.
And yet the old man was pretending he had nothing to do with it.
Jo Chun-ki shouted loudly.
“What are you all doing?! How did you handle things that this guy shows up here?!”
Only then did murderous intent pour in from all directions.
“It’s Kim Hwang-je!”
“How did he get here?”
“Did he break through from the first floor to the fourth?”
“No, the last contact was on the first floor!”
“Enough excuses! Eliminate him!”
“Stop!”
Katima’s sharp cry rang out.
Jo Chun-ki, who had been raising his hand, froze in place.
The Gaya Group hunters who had been ready to charge also halted.
“To think of fighting right in front of the altar. How incredibly foolish, human.”
“…Understood, my lady.”
My lady?
My laaaady?
It was bizarre to hear an elderly man like Jo Chun-ki call a woman who looked to be in her twenties “my lady.”
Kim Hwang-je stared at Jo Chun-ki in disbelief, but the old man glared back with a stiff, upright gaze.
Katima spoke to Kim Hwang-je.
“Great Archmage… this time, things will not go so easily. I don’t know how you got here so quickly, but…”
Kim Hwang-je stepped forward from the elevator.
Naturally, the ghost friend slowly followed behind him.
“As long as this altar exists, even you must follow its rules. Naturally, even you cannot easily eliminate us… eliminate us…”
Katima’s words trailed off as she caught sight of the black cloth following Kim Hwang-je—the Melancholy Bard. She let out a startled shriek and jumped back.
“Kyaaak!”
It was the same reaction a woman might have upon seeing a bug.
“What? Are you scared of this guy?”
“…N-no… I-I’m… n-not… scared!”
Anyone could see she was trembling in fear.
Her pale cheeks flushed red, and her thin silver-white hair flew wildly in every direction.
“Sis, what the hell is that thing?”
Ignoring Catiyu’s question, Katima screamed at the top of her lungs.
“Human! Jo Chun-ki!”
“Y-yes?!”
It wasn’t just words—her fist clenched in the air, and hand-shaped marks appeared around Jo Chun-ki’s throat, choking him.
“Your information has clearly been leaking to him! How dare you look down on me…!”
“Ugh, n-no, that’s not it!”
The once-arrogant Jo Chun-ki was nothing more than a child in front of Katima.
Watching this astonishing display of power dynamics, Kim Hwang-je couldn’t hide his fascination.
So this was the true Korean power hierarchy.
Jo Chun-ki was only third in rank!
Did that mean Howling had been raising Jo Chun-ki since he was young?
But Katima paid no attention to Kim Hwang-je’s shock and shouted even louder.
“Did you truly not inform anyone that we were performing this ritual?!”
“Of course not! This concerns my ascension—I had no intention of handling it privately. Please proceed with the ritual at once!”
“But look at that. No matter how great an archmage who offered his groin for power, there is no way he could create something like that overnight! It is not he who has fallen into a trap—it is us!”
He had never offered anything.
But now was hardly the time to quibble over details.
Still, this was turning out nicely.
Kim Hwang-je turned to look at the ghost friend following him.
“Hey, she’s scared of you. You must be pretty strong.”
Shrug—
It didn’t speak, but the cloth seemed to lift its shoulders.
“Done with the comedy routine?”
Kim Hwang-je raised his hand and pointed it at the enemies.
Auto Combat
Estimated Military Funds: 245 billion won
It was an enormous sum, but not one he couldn’t afford.
If he could wipe them all out here, two hundred billion was nothing—he would gladly pour in a trillion.
“You mustn’t, Your Majesty. Fighting here is not allowed.”
At that moment, the naked fairy appeared again.
“Aaaargh! Please put on some clothes already!”
“Hehe…”
Stop laughing and do something!
“If the altar is damaged during battle, the barrier protecting the Korean Peninsula will break, and monsters will slaughter the people.”
“…Couldn’t you have told me that sooner?”
“I apologize. From the moment they began the ritual, I was unable to move freely.”
Kim Hwang-je looked at the three people around the altar.
Sure enough, Katima, Catiyu, and Jo Chun-ki were all staring wide-eyed at the naked old man.
Catiyu spoke cautiously.
“…”
“…Sister.”
“Shut up for a moment. I need to think.”
Katima’s brain was running at full capacity as she observed the nude spirit.
But it wasn’t just one—several more crawled out, surrounding the altar.
Katima said, “Jo Chun-ki. The Gujiga spirits are roaming freely like this. All your boasts were wrong.”
“…”
Jo Chun-ki couldn’t even continue speaking. He simply stared blankly at Kim Hwang-je.
“The crown on his head is not the Gaya Gold Crown. The binding is over, and the spirits have been released. This ritual was flawed from the start.”
Katima lowered her hand and slowly stepped back.
When she retreated, Catiyu—with only his head atop black armor—also stepped back.
“W-where are you going?! You can’t! You can’t do this!”
Jo Chun-ki whined like an abandoned child, but Katima’s gaze was ice-cold.
“Our patience prepared for you has run out. Be grateful that we even came this close to the other world for your sake.”
“B-but if you leave like this…! What about my ascension?!”
“If one head is cut off, another will simply grow back. So either get cut, or bite the enemy.”
Katima gave a cold laugh and began to cast a teleportation spell.
At that moment, Kim Hwang-je’s Emperor’s Talisman trembled softly.
“Daughter…”
“What did you say?!”
Reacting to Benedict’s voice, Katima let out a thunderous scream.