The Imperial Bath Master's Masterpiece
The voice was smooth as honey.
The etiquette was flawless.
Just look at this gentleman.
“It is an honor to serve you.”
He placed one hand over his chest and swept the other behind his back. Then he stepped forward with his right foot and bent at the waist in a dazzling display of medieval noble courtesy.
“Hmm…”
His face was the very picture of a master craftsman.
But Kim Hwang-je had something he absolutely needed to ask.
“…Why are you only wearing panties?”
The man bowed even deeper and whispered, “It is to attend to Your Majesty’s bath.”
“…”
“Please entrust today’s full-body cleansing to this humble one!”
He thumped his chest twice with proud confidence.
Kim Hwang-je looked at the fisherman and asked, “Don’t tell me this is what you meant by ‘ruler of water’?”
The fisherman laughed merrily. “Exactly, Your Majesty! This man is the master artisan of Imperium Barneis, a bath attendant who has served the emperors of every generation.”
Imperium Barneis.
The term for the imperial bathhouse.
In other words, this gentleman was… a professional scrubber.
“But why call him the Leather Artisan? Doesn’t that imply leatherworking or something?”
“Your Majesty, this one specializes in turning the grime from one’s back into art…”
“Stop.”
Kim Hwang-je did not want to hear any more details.
“So how exactly is this guy supposed to save the old man?”
“Just leave it to him. You’ll understand once you see!”
Kim Hwang-je glanced at the hunter, silently begging for help.
The hunter chewed his lip before muttering, “Damn it, I should’ve said something first!”
“Hahaha! Looks like I beat you to it again!”
These guys were hopeless.
Kim Hwang-je stared down at the drink in front of him. The straw spun lazily in the cup, stirred by the wind.
So no one here understood the feeling of sending a professional scrubber after a demon.
Mother.
Living as a normal person is so difficult.
Still, Kim Hwang-je steadied his heart and spoke.
“Gentleman.”
“This one is present.”
“Can you see what’s here?”
“There is one pitiful old man and one wretched demon… Which one would you like me to cleanse and beautify?”
“I’m not sure about the cleansing part… but the fisherman said you could save that old man?”
“Your Majesty.”
Hm?
Kim Hwang-je looked at him.
“We offer the express course, the luxury course, and the special massage set. Which would you prefer?”
“…The fastest one.”
“As you command, Your Majesty!”
Kim Hwang-je instantly teleported the man to Professor Rabanus using Manpower Deployment. He then ordered Bahu and the others to return to their ship and guard the perimeter of the detention camp.
Jo Jong-hyun headed toward Bahu’s wooden boat with a bewildered expression. All of them were once again forced into the hated bluefin tuna fishing duty.
* * *
The demon opened his eyes a short while later.
“Ugh… to launch a surprise attack with the power of light!”
He writhed in clear indignation at what had been done to him.
But his arms and legs were locked in iron restraints, and his neck was clamped between bars like a criminal from the Joseon era. No amount of struggling would help.
Then the demon knight noticed the imperial bath attendant standing before him and began to tremble violently.
“Human! You dare think to torture me?”
Slap!
The imperial bath attendant snapped his towel, producing a crisp, beautiful sound.
“Torture? Perish the thought, Mr. Demon. What we are about to do is art.”
He raised his head and declared, “Behold, Your Majesty! I shall remove the filth from this devil with the express course and invigorate the elderly one with a special massage set. Rise, sacred waters!”
“Sacred spring, surge forth!”
“Come forth, treasures of the bath!”
⟨ Imperial Bath Arts ⟩
Suddenly the prison floor split open and hot spring water gushed up like a geyser.
Beautiful marble basins lined up one after another, encircling the demon knight.
The attendant lifted a small marble basin and poured warm water over the demon’s skin several times. Thick steam rose with a hiss.
“Aaargh! You dare infuse mere water with holy power!”
“Please speak up if it hurts.”
“You bastard! How dare a mere human—!”
The demon thrashed wildly.
The imperial bath attendant laid what looked like an Italian towel across the demon’s skin and gave it one smooth stroke.
In that single motion, a thick layer of filth peeled away and dropped neatly into the basket beside him.
Of course, reading it like this might make it sound like an ordinary scene.
But the reality was far more horrifying.
One scrub had peeled away more than five centimeters of the demon’s actual flesh.
“Mr. Demon, does that feel refreshing?”
Wait, who’s calling who a demon here…
“Uhehehehehe… Uhehehehehehe! Did you really think a demon would yield to torture?”
“Torture? My dear guest, I am merely carrying out His Majesty’s command to remove your filth.”
And so the artisan continued to scrub the demon with devoted care.
Kim Hwang-je felt like he was watching a spider being dissected.
The demon, experiencing the sensation of being scrubbed for the first time in his life, gradually lost his sanity.
“Ahh… aaaaah… it does feel rather refreshing… You must be treating the prisoner well to extract information… But it’s useless… aaah… right there…”
His tone was growing languid.
The demon slowly closed his eyes.
Kim Hwang-je squeezed his own eyes shut as well. Watching the demon’s filth pile up in the basket was too much; he gave up on sight entirely.
With his eyes closed, he dismissed the viewing window.
“What are the hunters doing?”
Instead, he redirected World Observation toward Bahu.
The ship was once again riding the sea breeze above the detention camp, hard at work catching bluefin tuna…
The exhausted hunters had been dragged into tuna duty without even being allowed to rest.
“Hold on, I should send them back. Stay here and keep watch.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Kim Hwang-je returned to the cave entrance via instant teleportation.
A quick glance down the ridge showed that light was still pouring from the command center.
He summoned the hunters back to the front of the cave.
“Ugh…”
They stumbled out clutching their heads, bodies shaking. The fishy stench clung to their fingertips so strongly that none of them had the presence of mind to lift their visors.
But one of the hunters—the tank who had faced him with a shield—pointed straight at the waiting Kim Hwang-je.
“You son of a bitch! You knew!”
Hm?
Kim Hwang-je tilted his head.
Ah. These people still have no idea I’m the owner of the scroll.
Well, it would be hard to believe that a normal hunter’s summon could instantly capture a monster that even high-rank hunters struggled against.
But Jo Jong-hyun, having witnessed the scene, turned deathly pale and shouted.
“Jo Su-han! What the hell are you doing! Stop right—!”
He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Kyu!”
A tiny face popped into existence above Su-han’s head. It was the Illiterate Mage.
“When did you…?”
All eyes locked onto the Illiterate Mage.
“Kyu kyu kyu!”
The moment the slime shouted, beams of light shot from its eyes and landed behind Kim Hwang-je.
Everyone’s gaze naturally followed.
A sudden chill ran down Kim Hwang-je’s spine and he shuddered.
“Traitor!”
A terrifying voice rang out.
An ultra-ancient archmage necromancer floated in the air.
The Undertaker had appeared. His jewel-encrusted golden mask blazed brilliantly even in the darkness.
From beneath his feet, cold blue mist poured out like an overturned bucket of dry ice, engulfing the hunters. It carried the chill and stench of the grave…
“You debtor! You worm who fails to recognize his own master!”
The thundering roar shook the mountain and knocked the hunters off their feet.
Jo Su-han, the one who had pointed at Kim Hwang-je, stood frozen, not knowing what to do.
“Uh… uhhh…”
“W-wait! There must be some misunderstanding!”
Jo Jong-hyun stepped forward with his hands raised, but the Undertaker did not slow his advance in the slightest.
The necromancer drifted slowly toward the offender.
The surrounding hunters trembled as they watched the necromancer ride the wave of mist.
“Hold on. Keeping him alive has more value.”
Kim Hwang-je quickly intervened, afraid the Undertaker would kill the man on the spot and turn him into an undead servant.
According to certain special laws, a hunter using necromancy on the living counted as desecration of the dead.
Of course, since he was already sentencing them to forced labor, he wasn’t exactly in a position to fear Korean law. Still, outright killing the man felt excessive.
“Value…”
Fortunately, the Undertaker seemed to be pondering what the word meant.
Right, he doesn’t have a brain, does he?
Kim Hwang-je hurriedly added an explanation.
“Yeah. It gets hard to collect taxes from the dead.”
“Taxes…”
“Exactly, exactly…”
At least the frontal lobe is still there, so please think it through!
He’s my subordinate, you know?!
“That’s right!! Taxes!!! That is everything!!!”
The mountain trembled as lightning struck a distant peak.
That’s not what I meant, you idiot!!
But as if his inner scream meant nothing, the necromancer roared in fury.
“Until you have paid every last tax, death itself shall avoid you!!”
Rumble!
A crimson aura erupted from the ground, tearing through the clouds as it ascended.
“Earn it and repay it!”
The Undertaker showed no mercy.
He pointed at Jo Su-han, and lightning fell from the sky, striking the offending hand.
“Aaaargh!”
As a tank, Jo Su-han had blocked most attacks solidly until now.
But this magic was different.
The lightning shattered his shield in an instant and burned his right arm. Unbearable pain shot through his nerves.
“Aaaagh! Uuuuuuuuaaaaagh!”
Jo Su-han’s reinforced suit on his right arm exploded. The flesh vanished completely, leaving only bone.
In a single moment, every scrap of meat had disappeared.
“My arm, my arm…!”
He screamed and rolled across the ground.
Gasps and shrieks shook the hillside.
Healers rushed in from all sides, but there was nothing they could do.
“I-isn’t this too much! Just for pointing a finger!”
“……”
But the other hunters who had been protesting fell silent the moment the Undertaker’s golden mask turned toward them.
“However, in accordance with your slight usefulness… your life shall be extended… insolent one… Do not insult the mercy of His Imperial Majesty…”
Ssssh.
The Undertaker waved his hand.
Golden liquid flew from his fingertips and wrapped around the hunter’s skeletal right arm.
It transformed into a golden prosthetic.
“It doesn’t hurt…?”
Jo Su-han blinked at the golden arm, then collapsed on the spot.
“……”
Jo Jong-hyun watched the entire scene, lips pressed into a thin line.
Then he walked forward and knelt before Kim Hwang-je.
“……!”
The other hunters of the Woogeom Party shrank back, too stunned to speak.
“Hey, what are you doing! Kneel right now! Especially you, Su-han! Hurry!”
Jo Jong-hyun shouted over his shoulder.
Jo Su-han snapped back to his senses and rushed over.
“Ugh!”
Jo Jong-hyun immediately punched the back of his leg to force him down, then grabbed his head and slammed it into the ground so deeply it looked like he was trying to plant rice.
One by one, the hunters knelt before Kim Hwang-je.
With his forehead pressed to the dirt, Jo Jong-hyun spoke.
“The forty members of the Woogeom Party… now belong to you.”
Hmm.
It turned out better than expected.
The Undertaker was radiating a pleased black aura in all directions, and thanks to that, Kim Hwang-je was reaping the full benefits of having competent subordinates.
“Very well… I accept your loyalty.”
Kim Hwang-je spoke as if this had been his plan from the beginning.
What would sound cool here?
But an alarm appeared first.
◈ Polished Demon Knight Back Leather
◈ Demon Knight Filth Fragments × 8000
…What?
“Tell the rest of your friends to sign the contract too. Understood? Illiterate Mage, Undertaker?”
“There is no escaping tax and death!!”
“Kyu!”
They understood.
Kim Hwang-je returned to the drill ship via instant teleportation.
“What is this?”
“Huh?”
The fisherman jumped up from his fishing rod.
When he looked around, the hunter was there but the bandit had vanished. It seemed the summon limit had been reached when the Undertaker appeared.
Kim Hwang-je opened the World Observation window and showed the fisherman the basket overflowing with sparkling filth.
“Ah, you’ve removed all the grime.”
“Oh~ So you got all the dirt off?”
If you say so, sure.
Kim Hwang-je grabbed the fisherman’s chains and hurled him into the sea.
Clank!
“Whoa!”
The chain caught on the railing, spinning the fisherman like a yo-yo before he plunged into the water.
“Your Majesty!”
Even as the fisherman cried from the sea, Kim Hwang-je ignored him.
He replayed the footage.
In the video, the bath attendant bowed deeply.
“Your Majesty, the rescue has been completed as ordered. I also provided the elderly one with a special massage set. He has become remarkably healthy.”
That refined etiquette and beautiful voice.
The artisan’s entire body glistened with the noble sweat of labor.
“Ah…”
In the video, the Leather Artisan had crafted the demon knight’s perfectly tanned back leather into a shield and set it aside.
He had turned everything else the demon possessed into pure filth.
Baskets overflowed with the stuff, while beside them the demon’s back leather literally sparkled.
“…Wait, you disassemble someone by scrubbing them? Does that even make sense?”
The fisherman climbed back up the railing and stood beside Kim Hwang-je.
“Hehehe, Your Majesty, it is magic that turns impure things into removable filth. How could a demon possibly endure it? Those fragments will make excellent materials. Trust me. The tower masters will fight each other to get their hands on them! Muhahaha!”
“Hahaha! Is that so?”
Kim Hwang-je laughed heartily and shoved the fisherman back into the sea.
“Aaaagh—!”
Splash!
At any rate, Professor Rabanus looked healthy.
Since the demon had been turned into filth, the professor who had been trapped inside him was now healthy and normal…
Never mind. Kim Hwang-je gave up on understanding.
“You look like you have a great complexion…! Yeah, it all worked out!”
Giving up on thinking was so refreshing.
Professor Rabanus probably felt the same.
His complexion was far better than before. The eyes that had wept tears of blood were clear, his face was rosy, and his skin glowed.
He truly looked like he had just returned from a luxury hot spring resort.
Professor Rabanus looked down at his rejuvenated body, then bowed toward the scroll floating in the air.
“Your Majesty, I am endlessly grateful. I, Rabanus, shall devote my loyalty once more to our homeland!”
Palace Reconstruction Quest Complete
📍 Recruited: Interior Minister Rabanus
🎁 Effects:
◈ Internal affairs cap increased from 120 to 150
◈ Internal affairs score rose from 32 to 80
◈ Unique event triggered for [Interior Minister]: Population growth rate doubled
◈ Previously locked functions unlocked: [Public Education], [Noble Council], [Road Construction], [Civil Servant Management]
◈ Rabanus will occasionally offer high-level quests with exceptional rewards
◈ Full kingdom map has been revealed!
Kim Hwang-je clapped his hands.
Grandpa, I’m counting on you for the kingdom’s internal affairs!