The Deadly Dinner Table
A deadly tension hung over the dinner table. The Black Mane Mountain Stronghold’s dining hall was filled with an aroma so exquisite it could easily pass for the finest cuisine on the continent. In the center of the table stood the “special ribs” that Veronica had painstakingly simmered since noon. The tender, perfectly cooked meat glistened under a deeply infused sweet-and-savory glaze, and the glossy bones alone were enough to make anyone’s mouth water. Yet what truly filled the room was not the mouthwatering scent, but something far thicker and colder—pure killing intent.
“……Can’t you three sit a little farther away today? It’s so cramped I can barely move.”
Rodin grumbled as he took his seat, pinching the bridge of his nose. Even though they had prepared a table wider than usual, there was no breathing room on either side of him. The chairs on his left and right had slammed into place with suspicious speed the moment he approached, as if they had made a pact in advance.
“That will not do! The scriptures clearly state that the right side of the Cult Leader is a blessed seat. My stomach yearns for this sacred position with holy fervor.”
Ivona answered while rolling up the pristine sleeves of her holy vestment. Her eyes were already fixed on the ethereal sheen of fat glistening on the ribs.
“The left side is closest to the heart. It is the optimal point for the most precise measurement of how your mana pulses change during a meal. I will not yield it under any circumstances.”
Lize pressed her shoulder firmly against Rodin’s while floating a crystal orb above the table. The body heat and clashing auras of the two women collided fiercely on either side of him.
“You two, if you’re going to be guests, at least behave like it. If Rodin chokes on his food, are you prepared to take responsibility?”
Veronica sat directly across from them, spoon in hand, her voice low and icy. Blue mana was already flickering dangerously in her eyes. Her patience as the lady of the house—who had slaved away in the kitchen—had clearly reached its limit.
The moment the meal began, Ivona’s movements became frantic. She glued herself to Rodin’s arm as if she had applied adhesive. Then she stared at the meat in his personal bowl with the reverence of someone receiving a divine revelation.
“Cult Leader, behold the luminous fat clinging to this single rib. This is a flame of temptation sent by the gods to test your endurance. Excessive intake of such rich nourishment will dull the soul and weigh down the body……”
Ivona’s chopsticks hovered threateningly over Rodin’s bowl like a sacred sword. When he reached for a piece, she swiftly blocked him and continued.
“I shall bear that heavy burden in your stead. To keep your soul pure, I will exile this corrupt mass of fat into my own body.”
“Hey. Your own plate is already piled high. Don’t touch mine. This is seriously bothersome.”
Rodin gripped his chopsticks tighter, determined to defend his meat. But Ivona’s grip, infused with divine power, defied imagination. She smiled with benevolent grace and looked him straight in the eye.
“Sharing is the Lord’s foremost virtue! The meat personally bestowed by the Cult Leader is the true Holy Body, the very crystallization of blessing! Ah! I feel mercy flowing from the tips of my chopsticks even now!”
In the blink of an eye, Ivona snatched the largest, most glistening rib that Rodin had been eyeing. She popped it into her mouth without the slightest regard for etiquette and wore an expression of pure ecstasy.
“Ooooh…… Lord…… this spicy-sweet mercy is saving my stomach.”
Rodin stared at his chopsticks waving uselessly through empty air and swallowed a hollow laugh.
If a saintess was indulging her gluttonous frenzy on his right, the master of the Magic Tower on his left was indulging in academic obsession. Lize had practically buried her chin on Rodin’s shoulder. Every time he lifted his spoon to drink the broth, she narrowed her eyes and studied the twitching muscles of his neck and collarbone.
“Hmm. The mana density released from the back of your head spikes vertically with every chewing motion. This isn’t mere eating—it’s a cellular mana recharge process. Rodin, stop for a second. The magical reaction in this area is far too intense…… May I touch it?”
“Who touches someone while they’re eating! Get off me!”
Rodin tried to shrug her away, but Lize was relentless. She slyly placed a hand on his waist and began measuring his body temperature.
“The test subject…… I mean, you’re too sensitive. This is purely academic research for the advancement of human magic. I must analyze how your body temperature affects mana conductivity. Come closer. The chewing sounds are interfering with the mana resonance.”
Every time Lize’s fingers brushed his side, Rodin felt goosebumps rise. The eyes of a mana addict were more persistent than a starving wolf.
Crack!
Suddenly, a sound like something screaming and twisting came from across the table. Rodin, Lize, and Ivona all turned at once.
It looked as if actual blue flames were sparking in Veronica’s eyes. The silver spoon in her hand had been twisted beyond recognition. The dignity she had maintained as the stronghold’s hostess and chief administrator had long since flown off to Andromeda. The mana rippling behind her threatened to blow the entire roof off the dining hall.
“Saintess…… if you’re still hungry, why don’t you go to the kitchen and gnaw on some raw meat? And Master of the Magic Tower…… if you’re low on mana, why don’t you go drink some hot spring water instead?”
Veronica’s voice was as cold as ice. Yet neither Ivona nor Lize batted an eye.
“My, my, Lady Veronica. Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins. You should repent. To be unable to control your heart in front of such delicious food……”
Ivona replied while noisily sucking the marrow from a rib bone.
“Interfering with scientific inquiry is the mark of ignorance. Move aside? I’m in the middle of collecting data on Rodin’s muscle contractions.”
Lize continued manipulating her crystal orb with indifference.
“Data? Repent?”
Veronica slammed the 180-degree-bent spoon into the table with a loud bang!
“Both of you, get away from Rodin right now! Unless you want to starve not only tonight but all the way through tomorrow morning! This is my house, and that man is my charge!”
“……Can I just go eat cabbage and rice in the fields? It’d be quieter there.”
Rodin asked cautiously, but the three women’s razor-sharp glares pierced him, and he immediately shut his mouth.
As the three women’s argument grew truly heated, the dining hall turned into a battlefield. Ivona’s divine power, Lize’s magic, and Veronica’s fury collided, making plates rattle and water cups tremble. Rodin realized that staying here any longer might result in more than just indigestion—he might end up buried along with the building. With practiced familiarity, he picked up his bowl of ribs and quietly rose from his seat.
“Did you see the boss’s back? That’s the saddest farmer’s silhouette in the world.”
Dagan, who had been holding his breath outside the dining hall door, whispered to Gil.
Gil looked at Rodin with pitying eyes.
“The man who didn’t even flinch in front of five hundred knights…… looks like a lost little lamb in front of those three women. Guess the really scary thing isn’t swords—it’s women’s verbal warfare.”
As Rodin passed his subordinates, he muttered weakly.
“Hey. Go get me some cold water. I’ll eat outside.”
“Yes, yes! Right away, boss! Hang in there!”
Dagan and Gil gave crisp salutes and followed after him loyally. From inside the dining hall, shouts of “You rice-worm saintess!” and “You ignorant princess!” still echoed.
Moonlight softly illuminated the stronghold’s courtyard. Rodin sat on a wooden bench, mechanically bringing cooled rice to his mouth. Being alone was simply more comfortable. No one stealing his meat, no one observing his muscles—this quiet was true paradise.
A short while later, Veronica came stomping over from the dining hall, carrying a new spoon and a cup of water. She sat down beside him.
“I’m sorry, Rodin. Those women were so rude that I…… Did you get very angry?”
Veronica asked in a slightly deflated voice. Rodin took a sip of water and glanced at her.
“Nah. But Princess, where the hell does that spoon-bending strength come from? It’s so scary I can’t even eat in peace. Next time it looked like you were going to bend my neck instead.”
At Rodin’s half-joking complaint, Veronica subtly pressed her body against his side and whispered.
“It’s the power of love. You said you didn’t need any of those other bitches. You must keep that promise. Otherwise, next time I might not bend a spoon—I might bend your pickaxe into a pretty ribbon.”
Rodin felt a chill run down his spine.
“……Got it. It’s too scary to even think about playing dumb.”
Rodin sighed and drank the cold water Veronica had brought him. From the distant dining hall, the faint sounds of Ivona and Lize still screaming could be heard.
“Where’s my meat! You hid it with magic, didn’t you?!”
“Who would do something so vulgar! Give me back my mana meter, you thieving saintess!”
Rodin gazed up at the stars in the night sky and thought to himself.
It looks like this war at the dinner table is going to last a lot longer than cabbage farming.