Self (2)
Attack is sometimes the best defense. After all, defense only works when you have the capacity left to counterattack. If not, a desperate all-out assault might unexpectedly create an opening.
That was exactly the situation I was in right now.
Honestly, with me bursting into laughter in this scenario, what excuse could I possibly come up with?
I couldn't just politely extend my hand and say, "HuwalumaMiko-nim, nice to meet you. Want to grab some tea outside? Nya nya." No way in hell.
Besides, I knew all too well the rage of a user whose secret internet life had been exposed.
No matter how kind Chen Zuiyuan seemed, in a situation like this, who knew what might happen.
Would he reveal the true feelings he'd kept hidden under the mask of social graces?
"What do you mean?"
He glanced at my screen as he asked. Upon seeing it, he maintained his poker face and stepped back from me. His expression hadn't changed, but for some reason, it felt like he was breaking out in cold sweat.
"……"
For a split second, a tiny crack appeared in his expression. The masterful poker face he'd been holding up with those facial muscles crumbled just a bit. The extreme look of panic I'd never seen even in Incheon was showing on his face right here in this hospital room.
He thought for about three seconds. His answer came quickly.
His response was a denial. Both he and I knew it was a lie. We weren't fooling anyone. But his words weren't just a simple denial that he hadn't done it—they carried a stronger, different meaning.
I understood exactly what his denial implied. He was extending a hand of peace to me.
His denial meant, "Let's both pretend this never happened."
"……Is that so?"
What had happened was an accident. Out of curiosity, I'd stumbled upon his post by chance and laughed at it. Chen Zuiyuan probably hadn't left that comment with any malice toward me either.
Who in their right mind would imagine running into someone from a community board in real life? That's just how it goes.
And our actions had basically invaded each other's privacy.
I could cling to that lol if I wanted, but that would be pathetic and a shitty choice.
The best outcome here was to go along with his approach, forget everything, and play dumb.
"Looks like I mistook it for some throwaway account's post."
After that, we talked while wearing the mask of business.
For starters, just looking at the research log he'd written this time, it seemed pretty solid.
All the monsters discovered and hunted so far had been mutants born from spatial mana, not thoughtforms like Melting Flesh that were made purely of spatial mana itself.
His discovery of the thoughtform would alert the world to the fact that these things could appear anywhere spatial mana existed.
That might give humanity at least a bit more wariness toward spatial mana.
We ended up chatting about thoughtforms for so long that time flew by unnoticed.
"……"
A sudden thought crossed my mind.
This was fun.
I could see echoes of my old self in him. What I'd seen in Chen Zuiyuan was indeed my past self. Was that why? Why I'd been able to overcome my fear and face that lump head-on.
In the middle of our lively conversation, he closed his laptop and stood up. The sun was already setting.
"I'll be going now. Oh, before that."
He started to say goodbye but stopped, as if remembering something.
"I'd like to include your name in my paper, Teacher. Without you, my research wouldn't have even started."
He wanted to put my name on his paper. But I didn't really want to publicize my name.
Still, refusing when he was asking like this would be rude. After agonizing over it, I came up with a clever idea.
"Instead of my name, list me under the nickname He123."
I decided to use my community handle. Honestly, He123 didn't mean much.
When I first made it, I desperately wanted to go back to being a guy, so I put "He" for "that guy." That was it.
"Of course. If that's what you want, I'll do it."
Chen Zuiyuan smiled at my request and bowed his head. After he left, I logged into the community a bit later.
Tap.
What I was about to do was search. Specifically, a nickname search.
I searched "HuwalumaMiko" across various communities.
His posts were mostly daily updates about what he'd eaten or what he'd done that day.
But one type of title stood out with unusually high frequency.
Posts about being exhausted were way more common than the rest.
"……"
Baek Seol-yeon had told me he had no family.
He'd lost his parents early in the Gate incident, and by the time his face started deteriorating as a hunter, he was at marriageable age but never got married.
He must have been really lonely.
HuwalumaMiko might have been his twisted way of realizing his true self amid all that hardship and isolation.
Saying things through HuwalumaMiko's mouth that he couldn't as Chen Zuiyuan.
If a disfigured middle-aged professor whined about being tired, he'd just get called a wimp. But if a cute virtual girl like HuwalumaMiko said it, he'd get sympathy.
Tap tap tap.
I started typing a comforting comment on his most recent post.
But even after writing it, I couldn't bring myself to hit enter.
In the end, I held down backspace and erased the whole thing.
Instead, I did something even more touching.
Click—
I hit recommend.
I went into his five latest posts and upvoted each one.
It was much later that I noticed my own recent dumb posts had each gotten an upvote too.
"Hospital food... still tastes like absolute dogshit."
The day after Chen Zuiyuan and Lee Ga-eun came and went.
I was suddenly cleared for discharge.
This morning, bright and early, my attending physician showed up, said all my vitals were back to normal, and basically ordered me out—no, it was more like an eviction notice saying I could leave now.
I'd been getting bored lying around anyway, so it was good timing, but the doctor's reaction was kinda weird.
It was like he was rushing to handle things on orders from some higher-up.
So breakfast today was technically my last hospital meal, and I decided to actually eat it for once.
And yeah, as expected, it was disgustingly bad. How to describe it? The kind of taste that makes you never want to pick up the spoon again?
Clink—
I barely touched it before setting down the spoon and shoving the tray aside. The moment I grabbed my smartphone to check the community, it buzzed and rang.
A phone call.
That's when I figured out why the doctor had acted that way earlier.
"Long time no see. Or is it?"
[Who knows. I've been swamped lately. Feels like time just vanished. No annoying pests bothering you? Like reporters.]
Baek Seol-yeon.
She was the one who'd just been promoted to director of the Elf Management Bureau.
She sounded exhausted even over the phone—voice low and hoarse, constantly cracking.
[I'll be there soon. Discharge over lunch?]
"Yeah. Doc told me to get out."
[See you around 10:30 then.]
The call ended there. And right on cue at 10:30, she opened the door to my room.
"You made it, Baek Seol-yeon."
I sat up in bed and greeted her warmly. I'd already changed out of the patient gown. She chuckled softly and gave a light wave.
"Yeah. Good to see your face like this."
As expected, she looked utterly wrecked. Dark circles under her eyes, staggering unsteadily with every step.
"You look swamped."
"Beyond swamped... I wanted to visit more, but no time, so I squeezed this in."
She shuffled over and sat beside me, her eyelids twitching. Fatigue tremors.
I stared at her for a while, about to speak, but she beat me to it.
"You must have a ton of questions. I'll clear up every mystery one by one, so don't worry."
She already knew. Before I could even ask, she turned the question on me.
"Yang Jia-ssi, what do you want to do from now on?"
"What do I want to do? What kinda question is that?"
She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them.
"Become a hero, or go back to living like before."
I got the intent. She'd been controlling info to keep my role in the incident hidden.
"I wanted to give you the choice. Knowing your personality and all."
My identity staying secret must've been her consideration.
"Hmm."
Honestly, standing in front of people was never my thing.
I'd holed up in the Mist Forest for nearly ten thousand years, just researching.
Normally, I'd pick the latter without hesitation.
But this time, the former tempted me.
If I became a hero, I could help ease her exhaustion even a little, and Chen Zuiyuan's announcement would gain massive credibility.
I didn't want to give up either. After mulling it over, I finally answered.
"Can't I do both?"
She let out an incredulous chuckle.
"Knew you'd say that."
With that, she proposed a new position: special hunter under the Bureau.
A hunter directly under the director, answering to no one else, only carrying out the director's orders.
Basically just fancy words—she explained it was really just working with her.
After hearing her out, I asked what I'd been wondering.
"How'd you suddenly become director? What happened to the previous ones?"
She let out a deep sigh first. I watched her, waiting.
"They're dead."
I doubted my ears. The next words hit harder.
"Not just the director. The deputy director and vice director too. All of them. Same day, same time, same place."
First thought in my head: Why?
How?
From what I knew, they were all Bureau elites—highly skilled mages.
Experts proficient enough in magic to lead the national agency managing elves.
Couldn't be assassinated by Association goons or anything.
A bit dazed, I pressed for more.
"Why? Murder? Fight? Dimensional rift right in front of them?"
She eyed my urgent tone, then spoke with difficulty. Her words were short.
"Mass suicide."
And heavy.