A Day in the Life of a Heretic Inquisitor
A Day in the Life of a Heretic Inquisitor
The South, a massive and extravagant mansion built upon fertile land.
It was a place that was peaceful 365 days a year, clearly the mansion of a noble with immense power and wealth.
Because the land was fertile, there was never a shortage of food, and because it was the peaceful South, there were zero invasions by monsters or Demons.
The people of this land were always smiling, enjoying happiness every single day.
And all of this started from the massive mansion located in the center of the territory...
Today.
Tonight was different.
The mansion was stained with red and black blood.
"Gyaaaaaah!"
"I, I don't know! Fu, fuck! A, ah, no!"
"Kyaaaaaah!"
"Euh-heup...! Geu-heueup...!"
Inside the mansion, screams steeped in despair and agony were echoing endlessly, becoming a cacophony mixed with shrieks.
A scene of mass torture, too horrific to watch with one's own eyes.
Without exception, everyone related to the mansion and its owner was a target of torture.
Sharp iron skewers mercilessly dug into soft skin.
Boiling oil cooked flesh until it was bright red.
Hands and feet were all crushed, and eyes were blinded.
The ones who created this cruel scene, contrary to the misery, were wearing armor embroidered with pure white, noble, and holy patterns.
They were those who worshipped and believed in the Three-Eyed Goddess, and who heralded the end for the Three-Eyed Goddess's enemies.
"You maggot-like heretic bastards-nim. Let's keep it down, shall we? It's so noisy I could die."
They were Heretic Inquisitors.
"Now, I'll say it again, only one bastard needs to tell the truth. But if no one tells the truth! The terrible pain you've experienced so far will continue to caress you. So, choose."
There were only two ways to end this pain, screaming, and despair.
"Admit that you are a heretic~ and get yourself and your whole family killed!"
Cleanly admitting that one is a heretic.
"Say, 'The owner of this mansion, Count Gelas, is a Demon follower! So I was forced to use him. I was threatened!' and leave this mansion alive!"
Confessing that one's master is a Demon follower.
"What will you choose?"
+++*
A wide, extravagant, and stylish bedchamber.
I looked around the bedchamber for a moment.
"Oh... looks like you really have a lot of money."
The decorations in the bedchamber were all studded with expensive jewels, and every single piece of furniture bore the touch of masters.
"I heard the South had a lot of money, but this is really beyond imagination. To be able to indulge in such luxury."
"..."
"Hm? Count Gelas-nim? Why aren't you saying anything?"
I slowly turned my head toward the owner of the bedchamber, who wasn't answering me.
Then, a middle-aged man bound to the bed with golden chains and gagged came into view.
"Ah, um. You can't speak."
I scratched my head sheepishly and flicked off the gag in his mouth.
Then, Count Gelas began to rant, spitting as he spoke in a terrified voice.
"I, I am not! Absolutely not! Wh, who on earth made such a vile accusation! I am a true child of the Three-Eyed Goddess and a devout believer of the Goddess Church! Wh, who else believes in the Three-Eyed Goddess as much as I do! Please, please believe me! If you believe me, I can refute everything!"
"Hmm, the servants have already testified. That you hold suspicious rituals and offer prayers. Anyone can see this is heresy. And you're still lying?"
"It, it's a frame-up, o, or it must be false testimony! I'm sure of it. If you investigate a bit more, you'll know that I am innocent!"
"Why are you really like this? It's so easy if you just tell the truth, but you're always like this."
I gently shook my head at his rant and lightly called Adrian, a Heretic Inquisitor from the 1st Special Inquisition Department who was standing next to me, flicking my hand.
"Adrian."
Then, he familiarly placed a small dagger into my hand.
"Here it is. Chief Inquisitor-nim."
"Yeah, thanks Adrian."
"Good luck with the work."
"Yeah, ha~ so annoying, so annoying. I have to do this tedious thing again. Won't I die of annoyance at this rate?"
"That won't happen. Chief Inquisitor-nim."
"Hm, yeah. That's true. I won't die of annoyance."
I nodded a couple of times at Adrian's accurate point and looked back at Count Gelas with an indifferent expression.
And then, just as I was about to separate the skin and muscle layer of Count Gelas's thigh with the dagger...
"Geu-heueup... eup, don't do this! Please, don't do this!"
I stopped my hand just before the blade of the dagger touched his skin, then twirled the dagger in front of Count Gelas's head.
As if the dagger would get stuck in his head if my hand slipped even a little.
"Just~ say 'I am a heretic! The god I worship is not the great and great Mother of All Things, the Three-Eyed Goddess! It's a piece of shit gay bastard who sucks the asshole and balls of a cruel Demon bastard!' If you just say this one sentence, there won't be this pain, but you won't do it? If I send you off right away, it would be comfortable for both of us."
However, he did not admit his sin, nor did he tell the truth.
"N, no, absolutely not, absolutely! Didn't I ask you to believe me! I can refute everything and prove everything! In the first place, I am a noble of the Golar Empire! What right does the Three-Eyed Goddess Church have to execute me on the spot! Please believe me, please!"
"..."
"This is not a rational choice! I am a loyal subject favored by His Majesty the Emperor and indispensable to the Empire! Th, this could turn into an international issue! An issue between the Empire and the Goddess Church Headquarters. So, put aside the misunderstanding at this point and release me. I can prove everything!"
"Ha..."
Seeing the face of that ugly middle-aged man blindly insisting he was innocent, a wave of fatigue washed over me.
Just today, as soon as I woke up in the morning, I hunted a witch in the eastern forest, and at lunch, I tracked down and executed apostates in the southeast.
And now, in this early dawn, I've come all the way to the South to interrogate a pig bastard who slept with a Demon.
There is really too much work.
I have no idea why there are so many heretics in this fucking world.
...
Ha.
A sense of disillusionment is washing over me.
I didn't choose the job of a Heretic Inquisitor for this.
I just did this because I wanted to slack off, because I just wanted to play as much as possible.
At this rate, I'm going to collapse from overwork again.
"Fuck."
"Heup... why, why are you swearing suddenly..."
I just thought this was a peaceful world.
I thought it was just a world where they had childish love fights.
Then there shouldn't be any work for a Heretic Inquisitor, right?
But what the hell is this?
Why the hell is there so much work for a Heretic Inquisitor to do!
The strength drains from my whole body.
I was already tired, and with the disillusionment, my body felt twice as heavy.
So I didn't even have the energy to properly conduct the interrogation.
I wanted to get off work even a minute, a second earlier and go drink some cold beer.
Let's just finish it quickly.
I just need to shorten the interrogation process.
"Hey, you pig bastard."
"...D, did you call me? L, look here Inquisitor, I am Count Gelas of the noble lineage of the Golar Empire, watch, watch your language..."
"Say 'Evil God is a son of a bitch'~."
"..."
At those words, the noble-blooded Count Gelas shut his mouth tight.
I gripped the dagger I had been twirling in the correct direction and asked again.
"Say 'Evil God Bremet is a fucking son of a bitch'."
"..."
"Can't do it?"
Unlike before, Count Gelas couldn't say anything.
"In the name of the Three-Eyed Goddess, I summarily execute the heretic, the adversary of the Three-Eyed Goddess who insulted and betrayed the Three-Eyed Goddess."
Without a moment's hesitation, I plunged the dagger into Count Gelas's throat.
"Geureueueup!"
As expected, this is the direct way to deal with heretic bastards who have firm beliefs or ideologies.
If you tell them to call their master a son of a bitch, they absolutely can't do it.
"Geureueuheubeubeubeu... Beubeu..."
Count Gelas, who had been spitting out blood foam for a moment, rolled his eyes back and died on the spot.
I pulled the dagger out of his throat and lightly swung it to shake off the blood.
"Good work. Adrian."
"Good work."
Adrian took the dagger back and politely put it into his bosom.
"Yeah, finish up and go home right away. No need to go to the Holy Inquisition Bureau, just use the return glyph and go straight home. Tell Juliana... no. Tell Dominique to write the report. She basically just played at the playground today anyway."
"Yes, Chief Inquisitor-nim 'Rugin'."
I patted the shoulder of Adrian, who was bowing deeply, a couple of times and left the mansion.
Then I saw the moon hanging very high and the night sky.
"Fuck... I left when the sun rose in the morning..."
I started work when the sun rose in the morning.
But when I got off work, it was night.
And not just any night, it was deep dawn with the moon hanging very high.
"Work-life balance is truly dead."
There is no work-life balance.
Work-life balance, my ass, I'm in a situation where I have to worry about work-sleep balance.
There's not even enough time to sleep.
Why on earth am I working like this?
Memories from around age 5, which are now hazy.
Due to a big shock, I realized my past life.
In my past life, I died from overwork because of a black company.
That's why I vowed and vowed again that I wouldn't live like that in this life.
Since I died just working in my past life, I wanted to live leisurely in this life, rolling around, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and just playing and eating.
That's why I chose to be a Heretic Inquisitor.
Because the job that seemed like the easiest, sweetest gig in this world was Heretic Inquisitor.
But...
But...
I ended up working myself to death here too.
Unlike the life I had hoped for.
"Fuck..."
I took a cigarette out of my pocket and put it in my mouth.
Then, after lighting it, I inhaled deeply.
As the harsh smoke circulated through my lungs and escaped through my nose and mouth,
A memory from a long time ago suddenly came to mind.
It wasn't this life, but a day in my past life.
─ What are you writing? War of Love? What is this?
─ What do you mean, what is it. It's a novel I'm preparing.
My Hyung was writing a novel.
─ So, this world's main religion is the Three-Eyed Goddess Church... Golar Empire... Lekhatos General Bureau... and the Hero and the Mage... childhood friends... love...
─ Well, the setting is fine. So what's the genre?
I waved my hand at my Hyung, who was explaining the settings wildly, and asked what the genre was, and he definitely said this.
─ Tsk, tsk, a novel like this is all about the setting, you don't know anything. Well, the genre is obviously Romance Fantasy.
This novel's genre is Romance Fantasy.
"Sseup... hoo..."
That's why I chose to be a Heretic Inquisitor.
Because this world is the world inside the Romance Fantasy novel 'War of Love' that my Hyung wrote.
And because I thought there wouldn't be much work for a Heretic Inquisitor in a Romance Fantasy.
─ I guarantee it, it'll definitely be fun.
─ Check it out yourself later.
'Check it out yourself.'
I ended the flashback with that cursed phrase, and stubbed out the cigarette that had become a short stub with the sole of my shoe.
And then I lifted my head and looked at the sky.
The moon hanging high up there and the countless stars floating next to it came into view.
Among them, I just picked a random star and muttered quietly.
"Hyung... is this really a Romance Fantasy?"
Hoping that star is Earth.
"Why the hell are there so many heretics in a Romance Fantasy..."
I sent a futile lament to my Hyung, whose face I can't even remember well anymore.