The Incompetent Hero and the Pirate Sweep
The talk of wiping out the pirates moved faster than I'd expected.
"Baekryeon, Seollin, and me. The three of us deliberately get captured and infiltrate the pirates' den. Once inside, Seollin uses her poison to incapacitate them. Then we give the signal, and the Yeom Kingdom forces we've stationed in advance round them all up. That about cover it? Think you can handle it?"
"Hmm... how big is their force?"
"Who knows? Not small, I'd bet. Why? Got a problem?"
"Even the poisons I normally carry have their limits. More than that... I used a lot of them dealing with you back then, so I might not have enough."
When did she deal with me... ah. That time.
"I thought you were loaded."
"Having money doesn't mean I can just snap my fingers and get poison ingredients on short notice! And even if I got the materials, I'd still need tools and a workspace to mix them. I've got the tools packed, but space is the problem. If I try it in a corner of some inn room, the toxic fumes could spread to everyone nearby."
"...I'll figure something out about that. If I do, can you prepare it?"
"Of course. What do you take me for?"
"The thug princess of the Dan family."
While Baekryeon held back Seollin, who was about to fly into another rage, I headed downstairs to the first floor of the inn.
And with perfect timing, the same waiter from before came scurrying over.
"Hero! Is there something you need?"
I handed the wooden token I'd received from the Shinhyeon City Haoman branch to the waiter, who was practically vibrating with excitement at the thought of a tip.
"...."
"You get the idea? Lead the way."
"This way, Hero."
The waiter's goofy expression turned deadly serious the moment he took the token. He led me up to the entrance of the fifth floor — the top floor of the inn.
"How did you figure it out?"
"No matter how I looked at it, there was no way you could have gathered that much information so quickly on your own. Besides, there's already a Haoman agent here — one person alone couldn't collect and manage intel for this entire place."
"Haha. You're right. Head on up."
I climbed the stairs the waiter indicated.
The fifth-floor corridor had a distinctly dark atmosphere. Looking around, I realized there were no windows letting in sunlight from outside. The only light came from magic crystals embedded in the corridor walls — luminous stones, as they called them in Yeom Kingdom — which only made the gloom thicker.
At the end of the hall, someone was standing watch. Two solidly built men glanced at me and held out their hands.
Want to see the token?
"...Verified. Come in."
Creeeak.
The heavy, sinking sound of the door echoed down the corridor as I stepped inside.
"Welcome to the Dandong branch of Haoman. I am Hwa Mirim, deputy director of the Dandong Haoman branch."
"The Dandong branch, huh..."
What were the odds that the inn I'd randomly settled into was actually an intelligence organization's branch office?
I sat in the prepared seat, and a woman in relatively elegant, neat clothing sat across from me.
"Quite different from the Sichuan branch."
"We simply take the form best suited to each region."
For all that, both Shinhyeon City and Sichuan had been set up in the shabbiest shops imaginable.
"So, what you need are the ingredients for the poison the Dan family's young lady will make, plus a workshop to prepare it in?"
"You already knew."
"Hehe... please don't take it too personally. You're simply someone of considerable importance to Haoman... and to the entirety of Yeom Kingdom. We had no choice."
"You don't actually think one 'we had no choice' is going to make me forgive you."
As I glared at her, the woman — having confirmed the look in my eyes through the mask — continued calmly.
"If I've offended you, Hero, I apologize. Might you forgive me with just myself as compensation?"
"I don't have a hobby of embracing ugly women."
"I may not compare to the beauties you travel with, but I do have some confidence in that department myself."
Hwa Mirim spoke while deliberately slipping her clothes slightly off her shoulders, exposing her collarbone. Her looks themselves were striking enough that calling her ugly would be a lie, but...
That wasn't the point right now.
"Forget it. More importantly, I originally came here to meet Jong. But I heard he was captured by the pirates. Is that true?"
"Yes. It's true. He was seized while monitoring the pirates' movements. Whether they deliberately targeted Master Jong, I can't say..."
"Then the claim that the Beastman Alliance is backing the pirates..."
"That much is certain."
So no change to the plan, then.
"Then I'll ask you to arrange the materials and the workspace."
"Yes. We'll prepare a discreet location. For the materials, just tell the waiter what you need later and we'll have them ready immediately."
"One more thing. There's a Yeom army garrison near here, isn't there?"
"Yes, that's correct. They've established a military camp not far from the city and conduct periodic pirate suppression operations."
Just as I'd expected.
"I'd like the location of that camp."
"Understood. I'll assign you a guide."
That covered everything I needed. Just as I was about to stand, she spoke again.
"Master Jong has been my benefactor since I was a child."
"...."
"Please... save him."
"...If he's still alive."
"Th-the Jaryong Unit!!..."
"I-I've never seen the Jaryong Unit before!..."
After being guided to the military camp and showing them the identity plaque that marked me as a member of the Jaryong Unit, I was able to enter without any trouble. What I hadn't expected was just how much authority the Jaryong Unit actually carried.
The moment the soldiers saw the plaque, their faces went pale with shock. And it wasn't just the rank-and-file. Yeo Gibuk, the general commanding the naval forces of the entire Dandong region, was the same.
"W-welcome! Hero Jang Cheon-woo! I've heard a great deal about you!!"
"...Right."
I had no idea what he'd heard about me, but a warm welcome was fine by me. It would make executing the plan that much easier.
When I brought up the pirate suppression, he too grew serious, pulling out a map and explaining the current situation.
"They're based here — on an uninhabited island about three hours from Dandong."
"Not too far, not too close. So why haven't they been wiped out yet? At this distance, it should have been doable."
"Well... the truth is, the suppression operations themselves have been ongoing, and they haven't failed either."
"...?"
What the hell was that supposed to mean. The situation was a bit different from what I'd been hearing?
According to General Yeo Gibuk, the pirate situation went like this:
The regular suppression operations never actually failed. The pirates' combat strength wasn't particularly high, so driving them off was always successful — but most of the pirates would jump on their ships and flee so fast that the Yeom navy's slower vessels couldn't catch them. As a result, a complete wipeout had never been achieved. The best they could do was drive the pirates out before their numbers grew past a certain point.
"Then why not just set up a garrison on that island where they gather and keep watch?"
"That's difficult... the land there can't support growing crops or raising livestock on its own. That means food would have to be supplied by ship from the mainland... and there was an attempt at that in the past, but..."
"It went badly, I take it. Retaliation from the pirates?"
"...Yes. Shamefully so."
So once the Yeom forces left the island, the pirates who'd fled would gradually trickle back and regroup?
...In other words, they were filthy good at running away.
Shit, this is actually fucked. If we don't catch them all in one go, we'll have to do this song and dance over and over.
Of all the annoying jobs to get stuck with...!
No. Calm down. Calm down. I've already got a plan ready. So...
"We catch them all at once. Not a single one gets away."
"!! You have a strategy for that?"
Yeo Gibuk stared at me in shock. Given that the Dandong pirates had been a persistent headache, announcing I was going to bag them all in one shot was bound to surprise him.
"How, exactly?!"
"We poison every last one of them. Once the poison incapacitates them, they won't be able to run."
"Th-that makes sense, but... what kind of poison are you planning to prepare..."
"Well. A daughter of the Dan family should know her poisons inside and out. She'll handle the prep herself."
Of course, "daughter of the Dan family" was just a runaway wife who'd stormed out of the house after her relationship with the clan head went completely to hell — and then followed me around — but she'd gotten a seal of approval from the clan head for her skills, so she ought to be useful enough.
"A d-daughter of the Dan family..."
"?"
Why was this guy suddenly reacting like that. He couldn't even get his words out properly.
"Ah, and later I'll come back with my companions to finalize the details of the plan. I'd appreciate a warm reception."
"? Y-your companions — you mean other members of the Jaryong Unit?!"
"I'm the only Jaryong."
"Ah... I-I see. Forgive me."
Right. My "companions" were that lunatic Dan family daughter I mentioned, plus a swordswoman whose entire clan had been wiped out and who was out for revenge.
...What a spectacular party lineup.
"Just the Dan family daughter I mentioned and a swordswoman from the Jo nation."
"Hm? A swordswoman from Jo? How is a Jo swordswoman even in Yeom Kingdom?"
What was this about now?
I frowned at him, and Yeo Gibuk looked sheepish as he explained.
"You don't know? There's currently a major uproar in Jo over an attempted assassination of the king. Because of that, both the sea routes into Jo and the ones coming out have been completely sealed off. You could call it a national isolation order."
"An attempted assassination of the king...?"
What the hell was that about. Given that Baekryeon hadn't said a word about it, it must have happened after she left...
"I wouldn't know. I met her before any of that, I believe."
"Is that so? Then that's fortunate... but just in case, you should verify. There's always a chance."
"I'll do that."
"A-and about that... the Dan family daughter — you don't mean..."
He knew? Well, a general in the Yeom army would naturally have information on influential figures. No point hiding it — they'd meet eventually anyway. I nodded.
"Yes. Dan Seollin."
"!!"
What, why was he so shocked?
"The one who, together with her younger sister Dan Seollan, is said to have the finest looks in all of Sichuan!..."
"...."
"The one who, at a gathering of young ladies from every major clan, received a marriage proposal from the young master of the Namgung clan and rejected him spectacularly!!..."
"...Enough."
What is this guy, a pervert?...
Suddenly this naval commander was starting to make me deeply uneasy. This was the guy in charge? Was that actually okay?
He'd made all kinds of excuses, but maybe the real reason they couldn't properly wipe out the pirates was because these bastards were just completely incompetent?
"...Haa. Here's the operation. You wait here, and when the appointed time comes, you pursue. But move as quietly and stealthily as possible."
"Understood."
"My companions and I will head out to sea first, get captured by the pirates, and infiltrate their stronghold directly."
"S-such a dangerous operation!... Will you be all right?"
Of course I would. If it were just Baekryeon or Seollin going alone, I'd be worried — but with me there, it didn't matter.
"Once there, Dan Seollin will use the poison she's prepared to incapacitate every last one of them. When we've fully subdued them, we'll give the signal — and that's when you move in and arrest every immobilized pirate. That's the whole operation. If anything's unclear or you see a problem, speak up. Operational planning isn't exactly my specialty."
"Nothing. It seems fine. How will you give the signal? Shall we prepare explosives?"
"No. Once we're captured, we won't be able to bring anything with us."
Of course, if I stashed it in my inventory, they could search all they wanted and never find it.
"I'll use a sword slash as the signal."
"A s-sword slash?"
"Yes. We'll discuss the finer details of the operation when I come back later. As I said, I'll bring my companions then, so brief your men accordingly."
"Understood. We'll ensure you're received without the slightest inconvenience."
"...That won't be necessary, but fine."