The Incompetent Hero's Spending Plan
"Welcome~"
A plain shopgirl with dark brown hair and freckles dusting her cheeks greeted me with a practiced sales smile.
I answered with a vague nod and headed for the display shelves.
Once this exchange conference was over, parting ways with the party was a foregone conclusion. That meant I'd be traveling alone for a while, so it wouldn't hurt to make a few basic preparations.
First things first — camping gear and a map.
I had the important countries and dungeon gimmicks from The Incompetent Hero's Success Story memorized well enough, but I had no idea how to actually get to any of them. In the game, a minimap would have handled that. Unfortunately, living in reality meant no such convenient features.
Worst-case scenario, I might end up crawling into some godforsaken wasteland where nobody lives.
A hero in name only, reduced to that? I'd die of pure embarrassment. Literally die.
"Um…"
"?"
"Is there something you're looking for? If you tell me, I can check whether we have it in stock."
Apparently standing around browsing without buying anything had drawn attention — the same shopgirl from earlier approached me carefully. I'd been fretting over the lack of camping supplies in sight, so her timing was perfect.
"I need outdoor sleeping gear and a map."
"We carry camping equipment, but as for maps…"
"You don't stock them?"
"No."
Figures. Maps were rare in the medieval era, but with magic as developed as it was here, I'd hoped they might be easier to come by. Apparently not.
"Then could you at least put the gear together for me?"
"Ah, yes, of course. As for payment…"
"I'll pay with this."
"Yes… wait—!"
I pulled a platinum coin from my coat and handed it over. Her eyes went round as saucers. She looked back and forth between me and the coin as if she'd just witnessed something she wasn't supposed to see, then thrust the platinum coin back at me.
"Th-this is a platinum coin!"
"Just pick out the good stuff for me. Keep the change."
"Hah! Understood! I'll prepare everything right away! Mister~!! Mister~!!!"
I could feel my standing in the shopgirl's estimation shoot straight up. Money really was the best, no matter what. Whether in reality or a game-based world, the eternal truth held: have enough cash and people treat you well.
Oh, and for the record — the money I was spending wasn't the party's.
The currency here ran from copper bits, copper coins, silver bits, silver coins, gold coins, up to platinum coins. Everyday transactions used copper bits through silver; larger deals went as high as gold. Platinum coins were the kind of money you almost never saw in circulation — serious wealth.
"When the party took a clean commission and wrapped it up properly, we'd get maybe two or three silver coins."
A full week of grinding quests: two or three silver. Ten silver made one gold, ten gold made one platinum — meaning a single platinum coin was something you'd earn only after years of work.
So why did I have this kind of money?
When I'd loaded that cheat save file, one of the pieces of data that came with it was my current funds. My inventory was literally stacked with the massive fortune the cheats had generated, which meant I never had to worry about money no matter where I went. Of course, I hadn't told my party members about any of this.
"Cheats really do make life easy."
"S-sir!"
"Sorry to keep you waiting~!"
A middle-aged man who looked like the shop owner came running over with an armful of gear, the shopgirl at his side. They didn't need to sprint like that — I wasn't about to leave. Then again, with money this big, sitting still probably felt impossible.
"Here are the items you requested, sir! Are you familiar with how to use them?"
"Ah… not really. I'd appreciate an explanation."
"Of course, of course. First, this piece of equipment…"
The owner pulled each item out and walked me through them one by one. I roughly confirmed how everything worked, then spoke up as his explanation wound down.
"Excuse me."
"Yes? Is there something else you need?"
"I don't actually need these right this moment. I'll probably come back in about ten days — would it be all right to pick them up then?"
"You'll return in ten days?"
"Yes. And of course, I'll pay a storage fee."
The most universal force for moving people: money. Stuff cash at someone before they can even open their mouth, and…
"Ah, of course that's fine! Come by anytime~!"
…this is what you get.
Since I'd already said I'd pay, I handed over one platinum coin first, then pulled out five additional gold coins and passed them to the owner.
"And these?"
"I need a map. I'd be grateful if you could point me somewhere I might find one. The platinum is for storage; the gold is for the information."
"A m-map, you say? Just a moment, please!"
The man scrambled into the back with the gear still in his arms. Damn. So this was the taste of money power. Casually tossing out pocket change and watching the reaction — pure thrill.
Leaving a tip only for the owner would leave the shopgirl feeling left out, so I handed her two gold coins as well. Meanwhile, the owner reemerged carrying a carefully kept black wooden box and offered it to me.
"What's this?"
"My grandfather was an adventurer, long ago. I don't know how much of it is true, but he claimed he traveled the continent and drew maps as he went."
"Maps… so this is a map your grandfather made?"
"That's right. And don't worry — I can vouch for its accuracy. I once had the chance to compare it against maps used by veteran adventurers, and there was no room for doubt."
Accuracy was all that mattered. Still, hearing it was his grandfather's keepsake, I accepted the box carefully.
"Are you sure you want to hand your grandfather's belongings over to me? It doesn't look like something for sale."
"Hahaha. A trinket like this is no use to a general-goods merchant like me. Better that an adventurer such as yourself put it to use — Grandfather would be pleased."
"In that case…"
Refusing further after a speech like that would just be rude. I opened the wooden box. Inside lay a scroll of a distinctly familiar appearance — paper with a unique texture no Korean could fail to recognize, covered in a meticulously drawn map.
"This is…"
"Are you familiar with the Yeom Kingdom, on the eastern side of the continent?"
"Yeom Kingdom… yes, I know of it."
"Further east still — a place commonly called the Land of Silence. This map is drawn on paper made there. Sturdy, water-resistant, easy to store, from what I've heard. The manufacturing process is so finicky that supply is limited, though…"
So that's how this connected. I did have business on the eastern side of the Filgurea Continent eventually — and here I'd stumbled into a map of the place by pure chance.
No — wait. This is… this is literally a map of the entire Filgurea Continent.
I studied the map carefully, then rolled it up and made a show of tucking it into my coat — while actually slipping it into my inventory.
"I won't forget this favor."
"I'd be grateful if you didn't."
"I'll be going, then."
Everything I needed was bought. After leaving the general store, I walked a few steps and stopped. A moment's focus, and the hyper-acute senses granted by my 999 stats let me hear the conversation inside the shop as clearly as if I were standing right beside them.
"Mister, was it really okay to give him that?"
"Of course it was. Didn't you see him handing out platinum coins like confetti?"
"I saw, but…"
"Besides — do you know who that guy is?"
"Huh? Just some good-looking rich kid, right?"
At the shopgirl's words, I carefully ran a hand over my face. Well, Leon's face was decent enough. Not quite handsome, but solidly in "good-looking guy" territory. Even if he was an NTR masochist.
"Wrong. That's the hero Leon."
"Leon? You mean the Incompetent Hero?"
"That's the one."
Wow. Leon. Just how widely was "Incompetent Hero" known? I'd thought it was just a derogatory nickname tossed around among hero parties — turns out every dog and his brother knew it.
…Come to think of it, why is he so famous for being incompetent in the first place?
I hadn't given it much thought while playing the game, but living through it firsthand made it strange. Sure, he was an NTR masochist with a pathetically tiny dick — scrub Leon through and through — but his nature itself was good. He'd diligently taken on commissions for people in trouble, relying on his companions' strength, and for all his weakness, he'd still fulfilled a hero's role. So why?
"They say you shouldn't take rumors at face value… but seeing him in person only confirms it. Rumors really aren't worth believing."
"What do you mean?"
"Think about it. How does a hero called the Incompetent Hero have the kind of money to throw platinum coins around like that?"
"Uh…"
Oh? That was sharp. The owner had a better head on his shoulders than I'd expected. I'd been mulling over why the original Leon had earned the Incompetent Hero title when the owner's keen observation drew an impressed nod from me.
"Maybe his homeland is bankrolling him? I heard a single hero is worth more than an entire army."
"True. Heroes are the Goddess's foremost blade for slaying the Demon King… but at the same time, they're the strongest military asset their homeland can field. That's why nations that produce a hero spare no expense supporting them. But where is Hero Leon's homeland?"
"Prynn Kingdom, wasn't it?"
Prynn Kingdom. On a map of the central Filgurea Continent, it was marked as a tiny speck — a truly small kingdom. Not even among the five nations that represented the central continent; a little country that struggled just to hold its own territory.
"No way they can afford to burn two platinum coins just so he can buy camping gear."
"Mm… you've got a point there."
She did. Prynn Kingdom really was a humble place. The support funds Tiris had brought from them amounted to a mere three gold coins total. Buy some wound salve and other necessities, and nothing was left.
"I don't know how he got labeled the Incompetent Hero, but seeing him myself, I can tell. That man is a big shot."
"Isn't that just because he gave you a lot of money?"
"That too — but it means he has something solid enough to back spending that kind of cash without batting an eye. Getting on the good side of someone like that is pure profit."
Honestly. Merchants really were impossible to fool.
"Galea General Store, huh…"
I marveled at the owner's lightning-fast profit-and-loss calculations, filed the shop's name away in my mind, and decided I'd come back if the chance ever arose.
"Whew. So I've got the camping gear and a map. All that's left is killing time, I guess?"
"Oh? Well, well — if it isn't Leon?"
Just as I was pondering how to kill time, a thick, grating male voice cut through the air. I turned toward the sound and found a man who looked like the living embodiment of a classic golden-boy archetype strolling toward me, a woman on each arm.
Damn… Hero Abel? Meeting him sooner than I expected.
The guy who would steal Tiris, Noren, and Philia — Leon's three starting heroines — and who fully lived up to his looks. Personality-wise: extremely violent, impulsive, and ruled by his moods. His character was so rotten you had to wonder how he'd been chosen as a hero at all — but in pure combat power, he was the strongest of the heroes.
Stats far more overwhelming than Leon's right after I'd possessed him, plus a higher level on top of that. Looking at the numbers, he was a classic warrior type who bulldozed through with high Strength and Endurance. Either way, he was far stronger than Leon had been.
While I was busy admiring his stats, his face twisted — apparently he took my silence as deliberate snubbing.
"Hey. You ignoring me right now? Someone talks to you, you answer, asshole!!"
"Ah, sorry. Had something on my mind."
"Huh… sorry?"
As if he'd just heard something unspeakable, he let out a scoffing sigh and took another step forward.
"Sorry? This little shit's gotten pretty full of himself. Used to be you couldn't even look me in the eye, and now you're talking back?"
Ah, come on. What the hell was I supposed to do with this guy? What an exhausting personality. I'd used his NTR scenes with the heroines as decent fap material, sure, but…
"Haa…"
"Haa? Did you just sigh in my face?"
I saw his hand twitch. This bastard was genuinely pissed. I'd seriously tried to figure out what in that conversation was worth getting angry over, but no matter how hard I thought about it, the only conclusion was that the other party was a complete idiot.
Reading Abel's mood, the beautiful women clinging to his arms slipped back out of the way, and his hand settled on the hilt of his holy sword.
Should I take him head-on…?
I'd already checked his stats. They were high, but that was all. Even without the Sword King Secret Arts, even with my stats scaled down proportional to HP, mine were still slightly higher. And that slight edge, amplified by a Technique stat of 999 that wasn't affected by the HP-proportional downscaling, became a massive gap.
If we fought, I'd win. No question.
But this doesn't feel like the right time to drop the Incompetent Hero title yet…
"Abel-nim."
As I was still deciding, a voice cut in — stopping Abel just as he was about to draw. From behind him, a nun who had erased her presence almost to zero stepped forward with elegant strides, her face half-veiled.
…Finding a nun elegant was weird in itself, but that was genuinely how she came across.
"Abel-nim. There are many eyes watching."
"So what."
"It would not be beneficial for you."
"Hah. You think I care about that kind of crap?"
Even the nun's voice carried a refined dignity. Abel scowled at her words — and the irritation and rage he'd been directing at me shifted onto her instead. The nun paid it no mind whatsoever, calmly continuing to persuade him.
"If he is injured, you will no longer be able to obtain what you desire, Abel-nim."
"…Tch."
What Abel wanted. I had a pretty good idea. He wanted to screw every woman in Leon's party and watch Leon fall into despair over it. Especially Philia — his childhood friend, whom he'd forced into sexual service as the price of my life. If she heard I'd been hurt, she'd rebel on the spot. With her training still incomplete, he probably didn't want her hitting Rebellion Mark Lv. 3. Whether that calculation actually reached him or not, he spat on the ground with an irritated sigh.
"Don't get cocky, you incompetent little shit. Not if you want to live."
"Yeot."
"Yeot? …What the hell is that?"
"It's a type of snack from the Far East Continent."
The yeot I'd meant wasn't that kind of yeot, but… the nun's helpful clarification left Abel staring at me with a vaguely unsettled look. I had no reason to elaborate, so I just shrugged.
Abel scowled in open disgust, roughly shoulder-checking me as he strode past. The women who'd been glued to his sides earlier called after him in coquettish voices and hurried to catch up.
"…"
"…"
And so the only ones left standing there were the nun who'd stopped Abel, and me. Wasn't she going to follow him?
As the thought crossed my mind, the nun inclined her head slightly and spoke.
"May peace be with you going forward, Hero-nim."
"Ah."
She offered the greeting, then walked past me to follow Abel. After confirming that Abel's entire group had left, I stared in the direction they'd vanished and thought.
"So much for sleeping at the inn."
That bastard. One hundred percent chance he'd barge into the inn, drag Tiris, Noren, and Philia into bed, and fuck them senseless. After clashing with me like this, he'd go even harder. The inn itself wasn't terrible, but it wasn't high-end either — no soundproofing to muffle pleasure-soaked moans.
Ah, right — Noren went to the church, so that's two.
…Well, whether it was three or two, the noise would be the same.
"No choice. I'll have to sleep somewhere else."
I had money to burn. Might as well find somewhere quality and get a proper night's rest. This whole mess would be over in ten days anyway — just ten days. I only had to endure for ten days.
Just as I was about to book a room at a high-class inn, something flashed through my mind like a spark.
"…Was there a nun like that?"
The Incompetent Hero's Success Story centered on Leon's party members leaving him for pleasure and various other reasons, so the other hero parties' companions never got detailed settings or sex scenes. But rough illustrations of what they looked like did appear as background art.
And among those… there was no nun who looked like that in Abel's party.
"…Huh…?"
Already? Something I didn't know about was showing up already…?