Fragrant Things - 6
For a brief moment, silence hung between us.
Lobelia wore a triumphant smile.
She seemed to think her deduction had hit the mark.
No wonder she was sitting there with her shoulders thrown back so proudly.
...Lobelia, through and through.
It was a strange thing to call a purpose.
More than anything, my goal was Lobelia's happy death.
Still, every one of my actions was indeed for “Lobelia, through and through.”
I couldn't just open my mouth carelessly.
So I simply met her gaze, my eyes lowered and steady.
Slowly, I let my lips part.
“Ha....”
I gave a hollow laugh.
Confusion flooded her red eyes.
Her blank stare asked why I was laughing.
After a slight pause, I said, “If that’s your goal, then what exactly is it for? A man who threw away love, money, and honor all for the sake of a princess—if he wanted you, wouldn't the situation between us right now be rather strange?”
“...Heh.”
Lobelia also let out a soft laugh, as if she found something amusing.
She covered her mouth a beat too late, trying to wipe the smile away, but it had already been there too long.
“Pfft! There are plenty of holes in that explanation, that’s for sure!”
She burst out laughing. I gave her a moment to settle, waiting while tears nearly gathered at the corners of her eyes.
I let out an exaggerated sigh.
Then I shook my head, making my disappointment plain.
“That logic is full of leaps. It’s sophistry.”
“Well... if I learned one thing, it’s that you didn’t deny it.”
Lobelia snickered and wiped away a tear with her index finger. Then she rolled those red eyes and looked at me again.
More precisely, she looked into my eyes, studying them as though she were trying to inspect something.
I closed my mouth.
“Your body isn’t honest, is it?”
“That’s a dangerous thing to say. You should correct my body with your eyes instead. Well... my mistake. I should have denied it.”
“Even if you had, nothing would change. I’m the princess. If I think it, if I say it... then from that moment on, that’s what you are. My position is powerful enough to make it so.”
Lobelia flashed a grin and added, as if it were nothing.
She shrugged it off like it was no big deal, but it sent a chill up my spine.
So if reality doesn’t match what she says, she just makes reality match.
Something Lobelia should never have been able to think. Was it a good change?
I’d have to watch her a little longer.
“So you’ve tasted power and already gone rotten, have you.”
“What’s wrong with that? I have you, don’t I? You’ll stop me in moderation, won’t you?”
“What exactly do you take me for?”
I made a face of complete disbelief.
When I gave her a dead-eyed look, Lobelia snorted.
Her gaze was arrogant, the sort of look a person wore when they believed everything was under their hand.
“Hawin. I think of you as Hawin.”
“Haah.... I lose. I lose. So, did you come here just to say that?”
I pressed a hand to my forehead and let out a long sigh.
I waved a hand, signaling surrender.
“Well, I suppose you could say that. Ah, I’m really feeling the alcohol nowww... I’m going to cause a huge incident today.”
Lobelia swayed a little on her feet.
She touched her forehead and acted like a tragic heroine.
Then she stole a sideways glance at me.
That slightly expectant look seemed to ask, Are you not going to help me?
“If you’re going to cause trouble, do it outside.”
“Ohhh, how ruthless....”
“It means get lost. Where on earth did you learn to act?”
“Tsk.”
Lobelia clicked her tongue.
She glared at me with a sulky expression, then straightened herself again.
What nonsense about causing an incident.
I rubbed at my temple.
The tension that had been hanging over us a moment ago had vanished, and I found myself letting out a long breath.
“Haaah, I already have enough of a headache, and then you show up out of nowhere.”
“Well... is it because of Lady Aran?”
Lobelia asked with a sullen face.
She was pouting, and because she’d drunk some wine, she seemed to have tossed all sense of dignity straight into the trash.
At her petulant stare, I lowered my head.
What the hell.
“Why are you bringing up Aran all of a sudden?”
“The two of you looked awfully cozy today. You were even protecting her. Wouldn’t it be better to just cut off one head in a fit of anger?”
“Lady Aran is a useful tool. If you want to kill her, I won’t stop you.”
“Hah.”
Lobelia let out a derisive snort, as if she’d expected exactly that.
Then, for some reason, she looked absurdly pleased with herself and lifted her chin.
It was exactly the sort of arrogant pose one might make just to be difficult.
“Still, I’m better than that bastard.”
“You’re disgusting to look at.”
Her eyes sharpened in an instant.
No matter how fiercely she glared, it didn’t leave so much as a scratch on my face.
I answered with complete composure.
“Ah, that was my inner thought.”
“...No one says their inner thoughts out loud. Still, if you said I was useful, then there’s no need to cut off your head after all. It would only hurt me.”
Lobelia let out a long, slow sigh.
It was the kind of exhale that said she had plenty she wanted to say, but was forcing herself to hold it back.
I rose from the bed.
The atmosphere had loosened at last, and Lobelia’s line of questioning seemed to be over.
“I suppose it’s my turn to ask questions now, right?”
I smiled brightly.
Tilting my head, I asked her as if I were genuinely curious.
Lobelia looked at me wordlessly for a moment.
A slight sulk flickered across her face, and she clicked her tongue softly.
...What is this.
She’d probably preferred being the one in control.
What a lunatic.
“Go ahead.”
Her tone had gone back to what it had been before.
So she really could change it that easily.
I filled a glass with water instead of wine.
Listening to the clear, trickling sound, I opened my mouth.
“Roswell isn’t the sort of man who’d grab me by the collar and slam me to the floor. Do you know why?”
“...I know. I know very well.”
Lobelia’s expression twisted at once.
She looked positively disgusted.
Even her tone was packed with irritation.
So something must have happened....
For Lobelia, who had always turned into a meek little lamb whenever Roswell came up, to react like that...
Well, it made me wonder whether I was dreaming.
“Grand Duke Roswell of the North... I don’t think he’s the kind of man who’d stir up that much trouble. He’s handsome, reasonably pleasant, and he has status.”
“Pleasant, powerful, handsome... yes, especially his face was outstanding, which is why he was so loved. Unlike you, Hawin. But....”
Lobelia stopped mid-sentence and let out a pained groan.
She pressed a hand to her head and exhaled for a long moment.
Just from looking at her, it was clear she had a headache, so I stared at her with some surprise.
“Roswell is undoubtedly a good man. Of course, the reason he met me was for the North, and the reason he kept hosting banquets and speaking with women was also for the North. He’s... a decent man.”
“You praise him to the heavens, and yet your face is dark.”
“I waited for you. I waited endlessly for you, after you left in that carriage. Do you know what it feels like to think you’ve lost something important? To feel anxious and restless? That’s what it was.”
Lobelia looked at me for a moment.
In her red eyes, my reflection glimmered like a polished bead.
A calm gaze.
And beneath it, a faint trace of lingering sadness.
“I’ll say this much: I couldn’t help it. If you weren’t in front of me, I felt as if one day you’d vanish for good. Back then, to borrow the old saying... it was like a mirage. I wanted to keep you in my sight just a little longer.”
“I’m very curious about the reason.”
I handed her the glass of water.
Lobelia shifted her gaze to the transparent cup.
Her dark face was reflected on the rippling surface.
She gave a dry laugh.
“I don’t know. If I did, I’d have already solved it or given up on it. It was so intense. Whether it was something from the future, or a past life, or whatever else... perhaps I regretted something. A long regret. I, in my memories, am an ugly thing hiding inside beauty.”
There is ugliness hidden inside beauty.
Those were my words.
Regret, she’d said. But there shouldn’t have been anything to regret.
I had been the perfect villain, even in death.
The worst of the worst, someone no one would mourn.
The question of why has become meaningless.
There was no way to restore Lobelia’s memories anyway.
“I heard gunfire. So I kept looking for you, Hawin. I kept muttering, when are you coming, are you not going to die?”
“You needn’t have worried.”
“...Was it really that easy? In any case, the attendant thought I’d been bewitched by you and called Roswell. And Roswell, of course, thought the same thing.”
Lobelia gulped down the water.
Her throat was dry too, it seemed.
After drinking with something close to violence, she soon gave a low, breathless laugh.
“I know it sounds reasonable, but Hawin, you really were staking your life on it. It wouldn’t have been strange if you’d died at any moment. Even if I didn’t love Hawin and only saw him as a chess piece.”
“He didn’t believe it.”
“...No. It only got worse later. Roswell pretended to worry about me. In his heart, I’m sure he was thinking that if the North was to rise perfectly, he needed me—me and no one else.”
Lobelia wore a bitter smile.
...Was she disappointed?
I frowned slightly.
Lobelia had liked Roswell.
But once she understood his true feelings, disappointment was unavoidable.
He was nothing more than a giant cog in the machinery of the North. Nothing more, nothing less.
She had been deceived by the language of love.
“My little sister Camilia is far too young, and I’m the one closest to the throne. Roswell kept saying you, Hawin, were dangerous. So I told him...”
Lobelia turned her eyes to me. There was something strange in that look, a kind of fervent longing.
“That I loved you. That’s what I said.”
“...What the fuck.”
What kind of bullshit was that?
When I’m supposed to marry Roswell!