Once a Coward, Always a Coward
I've lived as a slave for so long… Werther, I know my excuses probably sound like nothing but pathetic justifications to you. But I've spent more years as a slave than you've even been alive. The life of a slave is a jungle of survival of the fittest. They say dogs establish a hierarchy within their pack, right? They obey the strong without question but bare their teeth at the weak. Slaves aren't much different. You read the ranks among humans and latch onto the stronger side if you want to survive. I guess that habit just became ingrained in me.
“Sh-Sharon. I’m good at taking care of things for the human masters. P-Please take good care of me.”
“Nah, Werther handles all the chores anyway. You don’t need to do any of that.”
“Huh…? Werther does?”
“Drop the honorifics. No need to be polite to a damn porter, is there?”
Once I joined the Hero Party, I gained my freedom.
In the human world, elves were either slaves or criminals. Only a tiny handful who had made enormous contributions to humanity were granted freedom. Traveling with the Hero Party and hunting the Demon King’s army fell squarely into that category. I was finally free.
But habits forged over decades don’t vanish overnight. The leader of the Hero Party was Leonhart. The fear of getting on his bad side began to outweigh my gratitude toward Werther, the one who had actually saved me. That was probably when I started quietly looking down on him. Speaking casually to him, ordering him around, ignoring his pain… maybe I just wanted to convince myself I was one of the humans on the hero’s side. After all, Leonhart clearly hated Werther.
There were times when my own slave-like mindset of clinging to the powerful disgusted even me. Nights when Werther’s resentful gaze burned into the back of my head and kept me from sleeping. I felt sorry, too. The one who saved me was Werther. At first, both Leonhart and Cynthia had frowned at the idea of helping a slave elf, but Werther had forced the issue and dragged me into the party. There was even a moment when Theresa, who had been taught at the church that elves were Satan’s allies, opposed it so fiercely I nearly got kicked out.
If it weren’t for him, I might still be in that miserable village, imitating horse sounds. I never even properly thanked him…
I’m trash.
I knew that much. But I was more afraid of falling out of Leonhart’s favor and losing my position. Among slaves, no matter how close you were, it was normal to sell out your friends to the master. Wagging your tail at the owner brought far more profit than staying loyal to another slave.
But I’m not a slave anymore, right? There’s no hierarchy between friends. Leonhart isn’t my master. Can’t I just get close to the people I actually want to be friends with?
I thought about it constantly, but I never acted on it. Until the very end, I stood on Leonhart’s side and condemned Werther. Everyone else did it, so I thought it must be the right thing. In truth… in truth, I always wanted to tell him how grateful I was.
I’m sorry, Werther. Just like you said, I really am trash who only knows how to watch everyone else’s moods. It’s too late to say this now, but honestly… I just wanted to travel alone with you. Maybe that dream is finally coming true?
I lost my sight a long time ago. When Bael gouged out your eyes, my vision burned out too. I can’t hear anything either. My ears were torn off, weren’t they? But I still know you’re here. Your sadness, resentment, loneliness, pain, emptiness, self-mockery, disgust, betrayal… every emotion flows into me.
Every time, it hurts. It’s agonizing. I want to kill myself. But when I remember these are your feelings, I can’t throw them away. Instead, I’m grateful. Without them, I’d be completely alone in the universe.
I think I finally understand. This is the punishment you’re giving me… isn’t it?
Yeah. I’ll take it. Even I know I did something trashy. But once I’ve endured all of this punishment… then I can finally become your real comrade, right? I’ll believe that. See you again someday, Werther. Until then, torment me as much as you want. If this pain is proof that we’re still connected, I can accept all of it.
Werther. My Werther. My one and only Werther.
The profession of knight is an elite class that selects individuals with exceptional talent from a very young age and trains them rigorously. Ordinary soldiers enlist in the imperial army and are consumed as disposable grunts, but knights are different. They often become bodyguards for nobles or wealthy merchants and earn substantial money, or they receive noble titles themselves and establish their own houses. Some are scouted by various parties or guilds to serve as key executives. No matter which group they belong to, however, the core duty of a knight remains standing at the vanguard and fighting. That is why knights are required to possess greater strength, loyalty, and courage than any other profession.
The role of Jeanne, the knight of the Hero Party and the pinnacle of knighthood, was no different. The Saint handled healing and buffs, the elf provided long-range support with her bow, and the mage offered combat assistance. Jeanne was the protagonist of every battle. Knights shine brightest on the battlefield.
Just looking at the number of demon subjugations proved it. While Cynthia, ranked second in the party, had slain 3 A-rank demons, 27 B-rank, 200 C-rank, 352 D-rank, 562 E-rank, and 2,486 F-rank—for a total of 3,630—Jeanne had nearly triple that at almost 10,000 kills. Her fame spread across the entire continent.
The Princess Knight Jeanne was praised by all as the bravest, most beautiful warrior on the Pangaea continent. A proud fighter who opened her heart to no one except the hero. The very model of a knight.
Anyone who witnessed Jeanne mercilessly cutting down demons with her Arming Sword all said the same thing: she knew no fear. Her heart must be made of ice. The strongest member of the Hero Party was the Princess Knight Jeanne. No matter how terrifying the enemy, you could trust her with it. Her strength and loyalty were symbols of reliability. A true heroine who would choose death over any action that might harm humanity, even if captured by the Demon King.
That was Jeanne’s public image.
Well, most of it was nonsense spread by admirers enchanted by the sight of a beautiful blonde with blue eyes swinging a sword. Still, Jeanne herself had enjoyed that lofty reputation. Only a few people knew her true nature—her old classmates from the knight academy, and maybe Werther.
Even the Hero Party thought of her as a genuinely brave knight. But in reality, Jeanne was far more cowardly than the average person. A complete coward.
“Kyaaaaah! It hurts! It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts! I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared! Please save me! Lord Bael! I’ll do anything you say, just please spare my life! You can kill all my comrades, just don’t kill me! I’ll do anything! Anything at all! Aaaaah!! It huuurts!!”
Jeanne was the only party member who failed to realize that the Bael before her eyes was an illusion from the past. The moment the first torture began, the terrified knight immediately tucked her tail between her legs.
“It hurts it hurts it hurts! W-Werther! Stop just standing there and surrender! Let’s surrender to Lord Bael! Okay? Hic… hic!! Mother… Father… help me! Hic!!”
The real torture hadn’t even started yet. The instant Bael’s fingernail slowly sliced across Werther’s cheek, Jeanne’s mind completely collapsed. Watching her slam her head against the floor and desperately beg for mercy was revolting, but the bigger problem was that she still couldn’t grasp the situation. At this rate, she would never reflect or feel remorse.
With no other choice, Morphino transformed his own body into a spiritual form and revealed himself specifically for the Princess Knight.
“Goodness… are you really a knight? Even an ordinary person would last longer than that.”
“Save me! Please save me! It hurts! My cheek got scratched with a sliiiice!”
“You’re even begging someone from the Demon King’s army now? The others held out for days, yet you raised the white flag in under a minute. That’s a new record.”
“Hic… hic…”
It was pathetic, but she couldn’t argue. Fat tears the size of chicken droppings rolled down her cheeks. Honestly, all she wanted right now was to live. She would throw away every last shred of pride if it meant surviving. That was Jeanne’s true heart.
“I-I hate this! I’m scared! Hic… hic… I’ll even become part of the Demon King’s army… I’ll betray humanity, so please just let me out of here!!”
“Unbelievable. I heard the Princess Knight Jeanne was the hero’s most loyal retainer, yet this is what she really is? How disappointing.”
Coward.
A word she had heard countless times throughout her life. After joining the Hero Party, she thought she had completely reinvented her image. But a person’s true nature never changes.
“Unfortunately, our goal is to make you suffer and then kill you. Listen carefully—this space is a recreation of the hundred days Werther spent being tortured by Lord Bael. Once you fully experience his mental and physical agony, the barrier will naturally dissolve.”
“…Huh?”
“That terrified expression is almost refreshing. Anyway, try to endure it.”
“N-No… what is this… I-I’m scared.”
Morphino vanished like smoke. Bael’s torture began once more.
“Gaaaaaaah!!! My arm!! My arm!!!!”
A pain so intense it felt like her arm was being ripped off. Jeanne rolled across the ground in agony. It hurt enough to kill her. It terrified her enough to kill her. She crawled on all fours toward Werther, who was still enduring the torture, and cried out to him.
“Werther! Help me!! Please, help me!!! You said it yourself! You told me if I joined the Hero Party I could become incredibly strong! I did everything you told me to! I listened to the hero and fought hard! What did I do wrong?! Help me, Werther! Werther!!!!!”
Even though Morphino had explained that these were illusions of the past, Jeanne couldn’t understand that her pleas were pointless. She kept begging Werther for help.
Because whenever she was struggling and in pain, Werther had always been the one to save her.
—Yes. Ever since the very first day they met.