I Will Never Raise Another Disciple
The gray eyes that had always remained calm cracked open. The fissures spread, fracturing further until they finally shattered, spilling out tears.
With a voice low and hoarse, heavy with the despair of falling into an endless abyss, he continued.
“I said I won’t raise any more…”
If only they had betrayed him outright. Why did it have to be this? Even if they drove the very techniques he had taught them into the back of his skull, even if they treated his undying body as a fascinating test subject, it wouldn’t have hurt this much.
Regarding the truth of his most cherished youngest disciple, Raven declared with an expression so eerily calm it was almost cruel, each drop of despair falling like blood.
“I’m tired.”
……Child.
“From now on, I’m going to rest too.”
……
“The contract, the world—let it all go to hell. Do whatever it wants.”
……So it has come to this after all.
The Guardian Spirit had known for a long time that he was exhausted. But of all moments, it had to burst now. A bitter groan escaped him as he watched.
This cannot be allowed…
Raven was not someone permitted to rest. Especially not after forming the contract of immortality. The entire world would never allow him to waste his time so carelessly.
Yet, heartbreakingly, the Guardian Spirit had no right to stop him.
Moreover, even in the midst of his collapse, Raven still refused to speak the word death. It was painfully clear that despite his outburst, he was still desperately clinging to his convictions.
After watching that precarious, fragile state in silence for a long while, the Guardian Spirit finally asked a roundabout question.
What of your other disciples?
“……They’ll forget me the moment I vanish from their sight and go on living just fine.”
It had always been that way with everyone, without exception. This time would be no different.
He knew they had done cute things—writing diaries, getting tattoos, swearing they would never forget him… but it was all meaningless.
“They’ll manage on their own.”
In a life that had stretched over a hundred years, not a single person had remembered him for long. With that in mind, Raven cast aside every bond without hesitation and disappeared.
And so ten years passed.
Imperial Year 1012, April 1st
I woke up and Master was gone. I asked the others, but they didn’t even know he had left, let alone where he was. Useless bunch.
……Just in case, I asked the youngest who joined most recently, but he didn’t know either. Of course he didn’t. He was the one who called Master “Father” and followed him everywhere. If he had known, he wouldn’t be sitting here like this. Useless, as expected.
Imperial Year 1012, April 2nd
Master still hasn’t returned. He always tried to stay within our sight as much as possible. There’s no way he would disappear without a word. Where could he have gone? Was he kidnapped? ……I almost feel sorry for the kidnappers.
Imperial Year 1012, April 3rd
Still no sign of Master today.
I thought about it seriously. What could possibly make Master leave for so long? From what I remember, the only thing is when he goes to reap souls on behalf of Death. He occasionally ran those errands in Death’s stead.
Still, leaving without a word bothers me, so I’ve decided to start searching for him from now on. The others agreed.
Imperial Year 1012, April 5th
Master still hasn’t returned. When he goes to reap souls, it can take up to two weeks, so that makes sense. The problem is that despite our investigation, we haven’t found a single clue about his whereabouts.
I’m anxious. We need to prepare for the worst, but we don’t have much time. Once Master disappears from sight, people forget him cleanly in an instant. ……Still, it’s okay for now. The one condition Master always checked before taking a disciple was whether they could remember him for more than two weeks without seeing him.
It’ll be fine.
Imperial Year 1012, April 6th
Master still hasn’t returned today. No progress on information about his whereabouts either. I’m really anxious. Something feels wrong.
Imperial Year 1012, April 7th
Master still hasn’t returned today. No clue about his whereabouts.
Imperial Year 1012, April 8th
Still nothing.
Imperial Year 1012, April 9th
He’ll come back in two weeks, right? He disappeared on the 1st and today is the 9th, so it won’t be long now. Let’s wait just a little longer.
Imperial Year 1012, April 10th
These incompetent fools who don’t even know where their own Master is. I don’t understand why Master took them as disciples. Not that I’ve found him either, but at least I’m strong.
Imperial Year 1012, April 11th
It’s okay. Three days left. The reason we can’t find any trace of him is probably because Master is just that elusive. When he returns, I’m going to ask why he left without a word. If there isn’t a good reason, I’ll be angry.
Imperial Year 1012, April 13th
Finally, tomorrow.
Imperial Year 1012, April 14th
……Master didn’t return. There is still no information about his whereabouts. It’s as if—(faint letters can be seen between nervously blacked-out marks) someone deliberately erased it—.
……He’s the kind of person who lives so carelessly that he wouldn’t survive without us looking after him. I really don’t know where he went.
It was a serious matter, so we all gathered for a meeting. We decided to wait one more day just in case… but the atmosphere is heavy. An inexplicable chill pierces my heart like a shard of ice, tightening my chest. It feels wrong. Ominous. Why?
Imperial Year 1012, April 15th
In the end, Master didn’t return today either. It has now been over two weeks since he disappeared.
Everyone looks grave. I’m probably making the same face. This is the first time we’ve been separated from Master for this long.
……I’m scared.
I’m terrified that I might really forget him. They said the longest anyone had ever remembered him without seeing him was one month. Just one month. Two weeks have already passed, so only two weeks remain. Can we find Master before then? No—will we even be able to remember him until then?
Imperial Year 1012, April 16th
Today’s investigation made no progress either. Everyone was losing their minds from anxiety, so I told them to calm down and we ended up fighting badly. Honestly, I feel like I’m going crazy too. On average, the fact that we’ve remembered him this long is already impressive. There were people who forgot him the moment he disappeared from sight.
I don’t want to forget Master. Every time people forgot him, he would pretend not to care, but he always looked bitter. It was the mark of someone too used to pain, the remnants of expectations he had already given up on. Even passing relationships hurt him like that—if his own disciples who lived with him every day forgot him, it would hurt him even more. I don’t want to hurt him. Even if I’m a terrible protector, he is the most reliable and precious person to me. That’s why I’m writing this diary. But……
Imperial Year 1012, April 17th
What’s the point? Even if the records remain, once the memories disappear, all the bonds and feelings we built with him will vanish too. If I forget about Master, there’s no way I could feel the same attachment toward him as before.
Today, Rowina, who had already forgotten Master, proved it.
She asked if we even had a Master, and if so, why we were all so desperately clinging to him. I threw the diary I found under her bed right at her face.
Imperial Year 1012, April 18th
Master… could it be? Really?
Imperial Year 1012, April 19th
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Imperial Year 1012, April 20th
I’m certain now. Master left us of his own will. If he had been kidnapped, there wouldn’t be this complete lack of information.
Why? What did we do wrong?
I’m confused. It feels like sadness, but also like rage from betrayal.
Still, wasn’t the time we spent together heavier than what he shared with others, Master? You should have at least given us a reason before disappearing.
I have no intention of giving up on him until I hear that reason. Therefore, I have decided to search for Master until the ends of the earth. The others have joined me. The reason Master raised us was so that the people of this land could be safe from monsters. If we fulfill that wish, won’t he show himself someday?
I must rise to the highest position. I will build a stronger information network to find Master, and while doing so, I will raise disciples according to his will. If I create the right system and ensure the safety of humanity, the day will come when I catch his tail. Since Master cannot die, if we never give up, we will find him eventually. No matter how well he hides, he cannot stay hidden until our lifespans run out.
That is why I leave this diary. So that the future me, upon seeing the tattoo on my body and reading this diary, will search for Master.
.
.
.
Imperial Year 1022, April 1st.
The diary closed.
The man who had read it so many times that the surface felt both familiar and strangely foreign gently stroked the cover before lifting his head. His displeased gaze swept over the three pairs of eyes fixed on him, then curved into a cold sneer.
“So… it turns out everyone here has been looking for Master…?”
“……”
“How ridiculous.”
Weren’t we supposed to have a rather close relationship? Even if it wasn’t exactly friendship, we had known each other for quite some time.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
If Liv, the second disciple of their Master, hadn’t arranged this meeting, he really would have never known.
She had only set this up after realizing the others were searching for Master as well. That said everything.
He had thought he was the only one looking. Altare, Raven’s first disciple and President of the Awakened Association, twisted his lips.
“You should have said something. Thanks to you all, I wasted a lot of manpower.”
“You didn’t say anything either!”
“I thought you had all forgotten Master and were living just fine.”
“That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything, you know?”
“The same goes for me.”
……There was nothing left to say.
Yes, this was exactly what they were like. Altare closed his mouth for a moment, then turned away from the pointless argument and brought up another topic.
“Then let’s be honest while we’re at it. When did you learn of Master’s existence? And when did you start searching for him?”
For reference, he had learned of it a week after writing the final entry. He had read the diary thoroughly and resumed his search for Master then. Liv, President of the Sculpted Soul Masters Association, rolled her eyes at the added remark and spoke bluntly.
“I learned of his existence two weeks after the final entry. I started searching three weeks ago.”
“I found out the very next day after writing the last entry. Someone threw the diary right in my face. I’ve been searching since then. Even after you all forgot him, I kept forgetting and remembering repeatedly while quietly continuing the search alone.”
“I only learned of his existence and began investigating about fifteen days after the final entry was written.”
Now that the others had opened up, voices poured out all at once.
Upon realizing they had all been searching for Master much earlier than she had, Liv’s face twisted.
“What? You’ve all been looking for him since long ago, except for me? What about the youngest?”
“He didn’t come here, but he’s probably the same. It’s obvious why that guy with nothing better to do keeps disappearing every day, isn’t it? He must be out there physically searching for Master. Honestly, I’m more surprised that you started so late.”
“……Because until now, there was no particular reason to search.”
Anyway.
He tapped the diary he had brought with him pointedly.
“The reason I felt something was off and started looking for this diary… it was because of the tattoo, right?”
The tattoo shaped like an open book with the word Diary written in the center.
As expected, everyone seemed to have the same experience. Affirmative answers came immediately.
“Yeah. I thought we were just continuing our connection because we all wanted to protect humanity. Turns out that wasn’t it.”
“Indeed, we aren’t good enough people to endure unpleasant things just for the sake of humanity.”
“We’re not that altruistic to begin with.”
It had only been possible because Raven was at the center of it all.
Altare stroked the left side of his chest where the tattoo was and let out a hollow laugh that was almost a scoff.
“……It was ridiculous. I thought I had decided on my own to build a system that could protect humanity. To think there was a hidden reason behind it.”
“But you know…”
A woman who had been listening quietly raised her hand.
Rowina, Raven’s third disciple and President of the Fighter Association, rested her chin on her lowered hand and spoke with a look of genuine confusion.
“Why are you all so desperate to find Master? I was just curious what kind of person he was that my past self clung to him so much, so I looked around leisurely whenever I had time. If I find him, I just want to have a chat and maybe spar once or twice. That’s why I forgot about him in between. But you all… it doesn’t seem like that’s the case for you.”
You. You two.
Her scarred finger pointed precisely at Altare and Liv.
“You’re way too aggressive. Especially one of you feels almost desperate?”
Liv frowned at the predatory gaze.
In the uncomfortable silence, Hwan, Raven’s fourth disciple, looked back and forth between her, Altare, and Rowina before slowly nodding.
“That is certainly suspicious. The fact that you knew about Master’s existence for a while but suddenly started searching again three weeks ago is very strange. If you were able to notice that the rest of us were also looking for him and gather us all in that short time, it means you investigated quite diligently.”
“……”
“As the President of the Shaman Association, I simply wish to meet the shaman who taught me and gauge his skills to broaden my horizons. I am not pursuing this ‘Master’ with such aggressive fervor. Which also means I do not feel the need to exchange information with people I am not even on good terms with.”
Of course, it wasn’t as if he had no fantasies about the ‘Master’ in the diary……
Hiding his unfavorable intentions perfectly, the sly snake spoke in a deliberately gentle voice.
“So, would you tell us the reason? Then I will cooperate.”
“……”
Under the direct gaze, Liv quietly averted her eyes.
At the tail end of the returned silence, she glanced at Altare, who remained tight-lipped, and finally opened her mouth, unable to withstand the pressure any longer.
Her reluctance was clearly written on her face.
“……Because I want to live.”
“Ah.”
Now he understood.
The absence of the black jaguar that had always accompanied her everywhere had been noticed by everyone present long ago. Instead of pressing further, Hwan turned his gaze to the President of the Awakened Association.
Reading the urging in that look, Altare tilted his head crookedly.
“Me too?”
“……”
“Well, yeah. I─”
A murderous smile spread across his face.
“Want to kill him.”
“……What?”
This was sincere. He deliberately did not avoid the eyes of the association presidents and smiled fiercely for all to see.
“It seems all of you have business with Master……”
“……”
“If you promise to cooperate fully, I’ll put my own business with him at the very end when we meet.”
It would be troublesome if I killed him before you could take care of your own affairs, wouldn’t it?
The fact that they had pried into something they didn’t need to know was already offensive. Altare smoothly turned the reason he had given into a threat.
His crooked tone matched his attitude.
“Of course, that’s only on the premise that you keep Master well-guarded. So when you find him, make sure you hold onto him tightly.”
He spoke firmly, laced with killing intent, as if to engrave it into their minds.
“The moment you lose him, whether you still have business with him or not, I will kill him.”
“……We should prepare a room without windows.”
“And a door with a feeding slot.”