42. Confusion ["Well, now you really admit it? You lost."]
"Well, now you really admit it? You lost."
His voice, drenched in triumph, pierces her ears. In that instant, Seoyeon's mind—submerged in the fog of pleasure—snaps awake. The ecstatic sensations that dominated her body just moments ago vanish like a lie, and cold reality crashes over her.
I lost... she repeats inwardly. It's over. She can no longer deny it. She tried stifling her cries, writhing to hold out, but the scream that burst from her at the final moment and the violent convulsions that shook her entire body were undeniable proof of defeat. She can't keep pretending otherwise—not for the third time. Now, she has no choice but to admit it. That she lost this horrific bet.
She accepted the bet herself. And she crumbled to pleasure herself. Misery and despair crash over her like a black wave. Does she really have to live from now on, eternally violated by this vile, despicable old man—not just her body, but her soul as well?
Yet in the depths of that despair, a faint, sinister emotion stirs. But... doesn't this mean I can keep feeling this pleasure from now on? A tiny flicker of anticipation, or perhaps relief. She shudders at her own thought, but she can't deny it.
Then, Director Park says something unexpected.
"Enough. Get dressed and go home."
Seoyeon doubts her own ears. In this situation, go home? She stares at him with a dazed expression. What the hell is he scheming?
"What are you doing? I said get dressed and go."
Director Park pulls out a cigarette, lights it, and exhales a long plume of smoke. His leisurely demeanor only deepens her confusion.
"Go home today and think hard about what I said. And... choose for yourself."
"Suddenly... why are you doing this?"
Seoyeon's voice trembles faintly. Director Park chuckles and flicks his ash.
"I told you. I just wanted to try something straight out of porn or those dirty stories. I'm not some kid who wins a stupid bet and turns you into my lifelong slave."
His words sound so casual they feel unreal.
"So chew over everything I said today... and decide for yourself what to do next. I'm giving you a chance."
Seoyeon's mind tangles in complexity. Choice. Chance. His words shove her deeper into confusion.
"Then... you'll delete the photos and videos?"
At her hopeful question, Director Park bursts into roaring laughter, as if he'd heard the funniest joke in the world.
"Puhaha! Hey, are you really that innocent, or just stupid? Why the hell would I delete this precious material? Instead, I won't upload it anywhere. Probably?"
"That's not even funny!"
Seoyeon finally shouts. Director Park's laughter vanishes from his face. His eyes gleam coldly.
"Don't get the wrong idea, Yoo Seoyeon. I won the bet, not you. You screamed in ecstasy under me and lost pathetically. Normally, you'd be my real amche from now on—stripping and spreading your legs at my every command. But I gave you a pass, and now what are you doing?"
He stands, approaches her, lifts her chin, and whispers.
"Or... is this what you wanted? To become my amche just like this."
Seoyeon grits her teeth and glares at him. More talk is pointless. She shakes off his hand and starts gathering her scattered clothes from the floor, dressing hurriedly.
As she slips on her heels at the entrance with trembling hands, his sly voice echoes from behind.
"Think really hard about what I said. Your whole life might depend on it."
She flees the hellish officetel and returns home. Cheolsu is away on a business trip and won't be back until tonight. In the empty house, she turns off the lights and lies in bed. All the sensations from today flood back unbidden—the feel of his massive cock churning inside her, the pleasure stabbing her womb, and that final, explosive orgasm.
Unknowingly, Seoyeon's hand drifts between her legs. She's already soaked just from the memory. At the same time, Director Park's words echo in her ears.
Cheolsu could never give you this feeling, not in a million years.
You gave up the name Ciel... and now you have to give up this pleasure too, all for him? Isn't that too unfair?
Her thoughts spiral uncontrollably down the path he designed.
Yeah... I gave up so much when I married Cheolsu—my name, my career, my entire life. What did he give up for me? Nothing. So why do I have to give up more? Why?
She jolts upright in shock. What the hell am I thinking right now!
She shakes her head, trying to banish the thoughts. No, this is just that bastard's gaslighting. I love Cheolsu. I have to overcome this.
She steels herself like that and forces sleep.
The next day, Seoyeon keeps her body in constant motion to shake off the intrusive thoughts filling her head. She jogs around the neighborhood early in the morning, then tackles the laundry and deep cleaning when she gets back. In the afternoon, she even preps side dishes, desperately ignoring the horrific yet sweet memories that creep in whenever she pauses.
In the evening, Cheolsu returns from his trip.
"Honey, I'm home!"
"You're back?"
Seoyeon forces a bright smile and greets him. Cheolsu pulls her into a light hug.
"Yeah. Nothing going on?"
Such an ordinary greeting. But that simple phrase chills her heart. She flinches for a moment but quickly composes herself.
"Uh... yeah... nothing much."
They eat dinner together and lie side by side in bed. Even in his fatigue, Cheolsu pulls her body close. It's a signal to start. Her body, heated up since last night, has no reason to refuse.
Cheolsu begins foreplay cautiously. His touch is as gentle and tender as ever, but Seoyeon's body feels nothing. After a while of caressing, he hesitates and speaks.
"Honey... um, today too... that thing...."
That thing. The perverse play where she recounts being ravaged by Director Park while stroking him. Seoyeon hesitates briefly but nods.
She grips his cock and begins recounting yesterday's events as if it were a fantasy story.
"I went to settle things with him... but he suggested this weird bet... that no matter what he did, if I didn't feel anything... I'd win...."
As she starts, his cock visibly hardens.
"At first... he stripped me naked and... fingered my breasts and down there... hngh... it felt so intense, like I was gonna cum... but I held back...."
Recalling yesterday, she strokes him thickly, as if her hand were Director Park's fingers.
"Then... he made me get on all fours under the table like a dog... and from behind... ah...!"
As the story peaks, Cheolsu suddenly stops her hand. His face fills with confusion and suspicion.
"Wait... is this real? Honey, did you actually meet Director Park?"
Seoyeon's heart seems to stop, but she forces a casual smile.
"No... we've been doing this for a while now. Stories run out, so I've just been making them up since last time."
Cheolsu sheds his shocked, sad expression and sighs in relief. Seoyeon feels a pang of doubt at his reaction.
"But you're weird. You get excited hearing this stuff, your cock got harder than ever today... so why ask with those sad, shocked eyes?"
Cheolsu hesitates, then confesses honestly.
"Hearing those stories... yeah, it turns me on, makes it feel like it's gonna burst... but at the same time, imagining my woman stolen by another guy... it's so sad and destructive... my body wants it, but my heart hurts...."
Seoyeon asks.
"Then you're okay never satisfying that kink for the rest of your life? No more meetings with him means no new stories... and making them up has limits. No more of this."
"It's fine. I'd rather... be your husband, Seoyeon, and live happily loving you forever than chase that thrill."
At his sincere confession, Seoyeon momentarily loses her words. She glances at his rigidly hard cock and murmurs low.
"...Then don't get this hard."
She resumes stroking him, then shifts to the main act. He positions himself in front of her lying form and inserts in missionary. Cheolsu sweats profusely above her, pistoning his hips diligently. His face twists in pleasure, but Seoyeon feels nothing—just dutiful moans.
No... this won't do...
She desperately wants to feel something. She suggests doggy style to him—maybe it'll go deeper. Cheolsu eagerly switches. Her perfect ass, honed from idol days, fills his view, and he thrusts even more wildly in excitement. Slap, slap. The flesh impacts echo loudly, but to Seoyeon, it's just the sensation of him sliding in and out.
She rocks her hips in rhythm, sways side to side, chasing pleasure. But the piercing fullness of Director Park's cock is nowhere to be found.
Soon, Cheolsu nears climax.
"I'm cumming!"
He pulls out just before, spilling on her ass. He grabs tissue and gently wipes her, then lies beside her, pulling her close.
"Haa... that was amazing. You too?"
He'd mistaken her desperate movements for passion. Seoyeon forces a smile.
"Y...yeah...."
Minutes later, Cheolsu, sated, falls into deep sleep. Seoyeon stares at his back, eyes closed but wide awake. And in her mind, Director Park's words echo like the devil's whisper.
Will you live your life unsatisfied forever? Or choose for yourself what you crave, without giving it up?