The Master of Explanations
"Guys, you're not imagining anything weird right now… are you?"
"…Yeah. You totally are."
I'd asked just in case, and of course. These people had completely the wrong idea — and a very filthy one at that.
"Haa… It's not whatever you guys are thinking."
I let out a short sigh and said it straight. From my side of things I was frustrated and had plenty to say, but this wasn't the kind of thing you could just brush past with a vague shrug.
Once the seed of suspicion gets planted, there's no taking it back. You have to pull it out by the root.
So — Explanation Mode: ON.
"You really think I'd cover the camera, turn on stream, go unngh-unngh with my boyfriend, and then go hee-yat- on mic?"
"You absolutely were. That line from Kotomie — 'a view permitted only to me~' — I know every single one of you is picturing it right now."
"Don't ask me how I know that."
Ahem. I cleared my throat and pressed on.
"Anyway, you all know it's physically impossible, right? If I were secretly going unngh-unngh behind your backs, I'd have to take clothes off first, which means you'd hear fabric sounds — like a swish-swish — but so far you've heard nothing except my voice, right? Oh, and also those thump-thump-thump sounds…"
"Good. Heh."
Frontal assault: successful. Watching them thrash around begging me to stop was genuinely delicious.
Anyway, I figured that was that and we could move on…
"Um…"
Of course they weren't going to let it go that easily.
What was I supposed to say? That I saw a cockroach and freaked out? Or a ghost, maybe…? Yeah, no. Either way it sounded lame. Nothing even halfway decent as an excuse was coming to mind given the situation.
"My roommate poked me in the side. For the record, she's a girl."
I just told the truth. Better that than some half-baked cover story.
"Yep. I never said I was alone in the first place."
"Oh my god, what, you think it's a guy? Want me to prove it?"
"'Is she hot,' they say. Hold on a sec."
I set the phone down and headed to the bedroom.
I opened the door to find Seohae sitting there with a blank expression, headphones on, staring at her tablet. She looked so completely unbothered it was actually pissing me off.
"Unnie! Why did you suddenly poke me in the si—"
I started toward her, ready to give her an earful, then froze.
Because…
"Wait. Are you watching my stream right now?"
"Yeah."
My stream was up on her tablet screen.
"Wh— howww? I never even told you my channel name."
"I just sorted by most viewers and scrolled down. There you were."
"……"
I see. A truly simple solution.
I've grown as a streamer, huh. Big enough that you can just scroll and find me that easily. Wow wow I'm so happy… ugh.
I was busy being mortified that one of my own members was watching the stream when Seohae delivered the finishing blow.
"The stream was pretty fun, though."
"Especially the way you pretended not to know about today's article while clearly enjoying every second of it was really…"
"…Stop. I'm embarrassed, just stop talking."
"Heh. Your ears are red."
"Ahem!"
I cleared my throat for no good reason and changed the subject.
"But seriously, why did you poke me in the side?"
"I was just curious how you'd react."
"That is genuinely unhinged. Anyway, if you were watching, you already know. Come help me out."
What I needed from Seohae was simple. Just walk over and say, "I was the one who pranked her." That was the whole job.
"Alright."
Once I'd explained, Seohae nodded without any fuss. So she did have a conscience after all.
"Okay. Oh — before that, change your voice a little."
"Aaaah— is this okay?"
"Yeah, at that pitch no one'll know you're my unnie. And you know you can't say your name, right?"
"I know. I know."
I drilled a few more precautions into her, and then we headed out to the living room.
The moment we got near the phone, Seohae spoke up right away.
"Hello. I'm Bocchi-nim's coworker."
"Yes, I was the one who poked her in the side just now. I was bored, so I pranked her."
The chat erupted the second they heard Seohae's voice. They were losing their minds over her. And the fact that they just believed her instantly was somehow even more ridiculous.
So any girl's voice is good enough, is that it…? Hmm.
"Alrighty~ Explanation's done, right? Go on back."
"Already?"
"I have a stream to run. Chop chop."
"Hmm…"
Something about the vibe was making me uncomfortable, so I tried to shoo Seohae back to the room. Yeah, that was the plan…
An absolutely deranged donation flew in and stopped me cold.
Ugh, why would you even ask that? I was about to just answer for her when—
"Yes."
Seohae opened her mouth before I could.
"Even as a fellow woman, Bocchi-nim is pretty enough to make you jealous."
"That pretty, yes. Women prettier than Bocchi-nim… hmm. Now that I think about it, there are almost none."
"I didn't get paid. Right, Bocchi-nim?"
"Uh… yeah."
Seohae's sudden worship left me stammering. I was genuinely flustered. Seohae was a world-class narcissist — the whole group would vouch for that. This was a girl who could look in the mirror and fall in love with herself on any given day. And she was praising me?
Like, what is happening right now. You can't just suddenly compliment me like that — it's embarrassing.
"Oh, and looks aren't everything."
Seohae's worship didn't stop there.
"She's talented too, so she gets a lot of recognition from the people around her."
"Plus her personality is cute and kind, so she's really popular. There are more than a few people at the company who have their eyes on Bocchi-nim."
"Also…"
"Th-that's enough! Thank you for thinking so highly of me! Yes yes!"
The worship showed no signs of stopping, so I cut it off myself.
Seriously, what is wrong with you. Are you trying to kill me with embarrassment?
…Not that it didn't feel amazing.
Anyway, a few words from Seohae and the chat went completely feral. "She's my wife lmao," "Boc~chi," and so on. They were having the time of their lives.
"Mm-hmm-hmm."
That's right, that's right. Your streamer is just that incredible. Time to start worshipping properly, hmm?
I was sitting there twitching the corners of my mouth when—
"Huum…"
Was Seohae not a fan of the current atmosphere?
"Excuse me for a second."
She looked at the chat with a faintly dissatisfied expression, and then…
"Bocchi-nim is mine, so hands off."
"H-hee-yat!?"
Poke.
She jabbed me in the side again and disappeared into the bedroom.
"Ugh, I told you my sides are ticklish…"
I stared at the closed door with a look of pure betrayal.
"Bocchi-nim is mine," she says. Why does she keep pulling these pranks.
Good grief.
"Guys, that was actually dizzying, right?"
I sighed and said it out loud, then checked the chat.
"Huh."
The reactions were… off.
Wait a second. Don't tell me…
"Um… do I need to explain this one too?"
"……"
Here we have a streamer who has now explained away a boyfriend, explained away a moan, and is about to explain away a girlfriend.
…And that streamer was me.
A full month had already passed since Fashion Week wrapped up in that dizzying whirlwind of Paris.
In the meantime I'd kept up a steady stream schedule while resting, and continued on with idol life.
"Yena, congrats on getting discharged."
"Thanks, thanks. You can finally relax too, unnie. No more hospital visits for me."
"I went because I wanted to."
"Hmph. There you go buttering me up again."
Yena, who'd been hospitalized, had been discharged safe and sound.
And then…
"Girls~ Now that Yena's out of the hospital, I think it's about time we start taking individual schedules again. We're also working on the concept for the next album."
A slightly busier season was on its way.