Memoir (7)
“H-heek.”
No pain at all. I opened my eyes in bewilderment, only to gulp down a pathetic breath at the sight unfolding before me. It wasn’t the crimson earth split in half by the whip-like white flames, nor the menacing blaze roaring right beside me, that made me flinch like a coward.
“Grgh... Aagh...!”
It was Exy Train, her lower right shoulder completely gone, black smoke billowing from the severed stump, having shoved me aside and collapsed in the very spot where I’d been standing.
“T-Team Leader? What the hell just...?”
“Sh-shut up and focus on the enemy...! Ngh... Right now...!”
“Y-yes, ma’am!”
Following her order, I traced the white flames that had devoured her entire right arm back to their source—the pedestal where the dungeon core sat. And there, before it, stood a massive white behemoth wielding the flames like a whip, guarding the core like some unyielding sentinel.
...That’s the one.
About 5 meters tall, roughly the size of the flame giant I’d faced before. But the power surging within it was incomparably greater—nothing like that lesser giant.
How it had dodged my Snow Flower Grand Spear, slipped our notice, and closed in to strike the core’s pedestal didn’t matter now. Only one thing did: surviving the monstrous abomination born solely to kill intruders like us.
Whoosh!
The white giant glowed brilliantly as it swung what I assumed was its arm. A flash of searing heat erupted, and white flames slashed diagonally across the air.
Even from this distance, the blistering flame whip nearly caught me off-guard head-on. This time, it hurtled straight for my neck.
Baaang!!!!
The white flame whip curved toward my throat but failed to reach its mark. Unlike before, I was ready this time.
Sssskreeee!
Instead of my neck, it coiled around the shaft of my Snow Flower Grand Spear, blocking its path. The clashing natures of fire and ice repelled each other, spewing thick steam.
Now.
“Explode!”
The moment the mana mist from the clashing weapons obscured me and Exy Train, I chanted the activation word, unleashing every ounce of frost and mana stored in the spear in one go.
Kabooom!!!!!
The immense chill from ten snow flowers erupted forward in an instant. The explosive frost froze everything in its path, birthing a colossal iceberg massive enough to engulf even that super-sized flame giant, filling my vision entirely.
I’d poured every bit of power I could muster into it—an all-or-nothing strike with nothing held back.
No way such a reckless assault could fell the Dungeon Lord that had nearly killed me and vaporized Exy Train’s arm.
But defeating it wasn’t my goal right now.
“Hang in there just a bit longer, Team Leader. I’ll figure something out.”
“Nghhh...!”
My goal was saving the team leader who’d saved me. Nothing more.
I flash-froze the charred stump with a small snow flower, then turned toward where the rest of the team waited.
All while remembering the glare of those two eyes, watching me from deep within the iceberg behind.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
2.
“Grraaah... Uwaaagh...!”
I retreated in a frantic scramble, dodging the flames, and handed her off to the team members who’d escaped ahead. Even with the wound chilled by my snow flower, she groaned in agony, and each sound twisted my gut with growing unease.
“T-Team Leader!”
The moment our team’s sole healer from Team 2 saw her grievous injury, her face hardened at the severed lower shoulder. That grave reaction choked me with dread.
“She’ll be okay, right? I froze it to cool it down... It’s not life-threatening, is it?”
“...A vicious fire mana is burning her from the inside out. She’s resisting with her own mana for now, but staying in the Kingdom of Fire any longer means it’s only a matter of time before she loses her life. We need to get out of here—now.”
“No way...”
My desperate plea met only cold, hopeless reality. The official exit was buried in flames, vanished. Our only way out was slaying the Dungeon Lord...
The truth crashing down on me was cruelly, utterly despairing.
Watching her complexion worsen by the second, an unfamiliar emotion I’d never felt before began corroding my body.
This is my fault.
I got careless. Ignored her advice. Got cocky. Arrogant. Reckless and full of bravado—and now the team leader’s life hangs by a thread because of me.
She was far more experienced than me, a veteran who’d overcome countless trials. Even if her power wasn’t as great as mine, that was no excuse to dismiss her wisdom and instincts.
But my arrogance blinded me, turned her rightful guidance into nonsense. I’d nearly died for it, and now she teetered on death’s edge.
The harsh reality I’d brought upon us gnawed at me viciously. My vision blurred, limbs trembled, dizziness hit.
I knew I didn’t have time for this. Knew I had to take down the Dungeon Lord, smash the core, and escape. But my body, enslaved by this alien emotion, wouldn’t obey.
Anyway, if the tables turn, I’ll save you for sure. I’m the type who repays favors double, you know. So if anything tough comes up, just say the word. Got it?
Her promise of rescue echoed in my mind. And with it, realization dawned: this unknown feeling was self-loathing.
“Urk.”
The first taste of guilt and self-recrimination wrecked me faster than I’d imagined. I collapsed to the floor, dry-heaving.
My fault. Team Leader’s dying because of me. Because I didn’t listen. Obeying the leader’s orders is a team member’s duty, but I got drunk on my own power like an idiot. Arrogant. Led her straight to death.
If she hadn’t pushed me, I’d have been bisected right there.
She was my lifesaver.
She’d sacrificed herself for me—the one who’d hurled insults to her face, calling her pathetic, worthless, devaluing her as a person.
As my vision faded and self-loathing threatened to devour me whole, her voice pulled me back from the brink.
“Hah... Hah... L-Lapis. Hey...”
“T-Team Leader... I-I’m sorry. I... I didn’t listen to you...”
“Nghhh... Hah... Hah... Enough of that useless... bullshit. You get it now, right...? Don’t ignore the vibe... that comes with experience... Uwaaaagh!”
“Team Leader!”
Even now, cracking a joke to lighten the mood, she shone radiantly. But realizing it might be the last flare of a dying light only deepened my guilt, not eased it.
I can’t let this happen. She saved my life at the cost of her own—I have to use it right.
But my body wouldn’t cooperate. The cold mana in my veins refused to flow at my command, drifting aimlessly. In this state, I couldn’t even bloom a single snow flower properly. Facing that Dungeon Lord now would get me cleaved in half instantly.
“Team Leader...”
Watching her life’s flame flicker under the fire ravaging her body ignited a thirst for vengeance against the monster that did this.
My mana surged explosively in response, the Julie family’s frost boiling hotly. But the Julie mana demanded calm control. No matter how amplified or fierce, I couldn’t wield it like this.
Why can’t I do anything in this situation? Why didn’t I even try listening to her earlier? Why? Why? Why the hell...?
Someone useless like me...
As rage and self-loathing reached their limit, jaws wide to shatter me—
“Paster! Over here! Hurry!”
“What the fuck?! Is the team leader okay?!”
A familiar voice spat curses in flustered panic. I lifted my head in a daze to see Paster approaching without a sound, just like last time. Handsome but incompetent, brimming with misplaced confidence—he scooped up the team leader, face full of worry and alarm.
What? Trying to let her die in a pretty boy’s arms?
Paster was as useless as me, but at least he did what he could. Better than me.
My thoughts were unhinged, fitting my shattered mind. Staring blankly at him, lost in nothing, nonsense spilled from his mouth.
“I’ll take the team leader to the guild infirmary first and be right back!”
Crackle!
The moment I concluded even he’d lost his mind like me, a spark like static popped, and his figure vanished.
“...Huh?”
...What?
My brain couldn’t process it. No prep, no wind-up—he’d vanished like lightning.
Befuddled and uncomprehending, another crackle! like a twig snapping, and he reappeared.
“Phew! Lucky Ia Ris was in the infirmary—she started treatment right away. Team leader’s life is out of danger for now. With that settled, everyone head back to the guild. She ordered, ‘This raid’s a bust. Better than dying—get out quick!’ Now, everyone gather round.”
Paster rattled off incomprehensible nonsense like a machine gun. As I opened my mouth to question this madness, the scattered team members naturally flocked to him.
Casual chit-chat utterly mismatched to the crisis. They joined hands in a circle like some kids’ game, and Paster tilted his head at me, still slumped and staring blankly.
“You not coming? Yeah, too many people’s a bit risky. I’ll be right back—wait here.”
Crackle!
With that, Paster and the Team 2 raiders vanished in a spray of white sparks.
Left alone in the dungeon, I stared blankly at the empty spot, then blurted a stupid whimper.
“Uweh?”