Ia Noona (4)
There's a saying in the world: "Bears tear people apart." And the woman gazing up at me from my arms was the one who tore apart the monster that tears bears.
In other words, she had the power to rip a guy like me to shreds with just two fingers in an instant. Of course, Ia noona wouldn't do that to me, but she was the type who'd turn someone's house ceiling—and even the roof—into stars in the sky just because I didn't treat her like a woman. I had no idea what she'd do if she got really pissed. It was terrifying.
The Ia noona who'd seemed so cute just moments ago now looked like a ticking time bomb that could explode at any second. A time bomb nestled right in my arms, ticking away. The moment it went off, I'd vanish without a trace—whether physically or socially, who knew.
Normally, this would be the perfect time to escape via Rabbit Hole, but in my current condition, that wasn't an option. Even after treatment, with those two mana streams clashing inside me, more healing was inevitable. I desperately needed her help. Wait—did I really need her help that badly? There were other healers in the world besides Ia noona. Couldn't I just tell Ska, Lapis, or Dr. Emme and get treated by some decent healer, even if they weren't quite on her level?
Ska and Lapis bore a huge share of responsibility for my current state, and they wouldn't just let me die. Plus, relying solely on Ia noona felt a bit off. The more I thought about it, the better switching doctors seemed. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? Because I didn't know what she was really like. If I'd realized earlier she was the dangerous type who smashes ceilings when she can't control her emotions, I'd have come up with this plan faster. And thanks to my ability, I rarely got hurt this badly anyway.
After settling my internal debate, I looked into Ia noona's dark brown eyes. Deep within those dead-fish eyes, that eerie rage from before was starting to bubble up again. But now that I knew I had other people to lean on, her glare didn't feel quite so threatening. I had no house left to lose anyway. Nothing to lose.
"Ha."
As my anxiety faded, my stiff lips relaxed, and without thinking, one corner of my mouth twitched up. Then, like some absurd chaebol heir, a scoff escaped me—completely unintended. Oops, a slip-up? It wasn't like I'd meant to laugh; it was just a physiological reflex. But did I really need to apologize and explain? It was just a smirk and a little chuckle.
Ia noona didn't seem too upset...
"Nngh. Uuugh..."
Her dark brown eyes started welling up with tears. At the same time, a stifled sob leaked from her pure white teeth as she bit her lower lip. Crying? Why the hell was she crying?! Was my laugh that hurtful?
"Sorry! It was a mistake! I didn't mean to—it just slipped out, like a weird chuckle, totally not on purpose! It's not what you're thinking!"
Startled by her sudden tearjerker mode, I blurted out an unconditional apology—barely holding back a dogeza. If she started crying for real, I was screwed! I'd learned from Lapis that I'm way too weak to tears. "Preemptive tears win" might not be foolproof, but it worked damn well on me. If she cried and said, "Fuck me," I'd probably do it. So I couldn't let Ia noona cry. I had no clue why she'd switched from trying to drown me in intensity to squeezing out tears like this, but soothing her came first.
Maybe a goofy "whee-hee peekaboo" would make her laugh? It worked wonders on the little kids back at the orphanage. Hell, it'd probably work on Silk Blond, Ska, or even Lapis. But the woman in my arms wasn't them—she was Ia noona, older and more mature than her age suggested. No way something childish like that would fly with her. And those three would smile through gritted teeth even if I farted in their faces. Ska laughing at a fart? Now I wanted to see that. Gotta try it sometime...
What the hell am I thinking right now?! Snap out of it, Paster!
The awkward situation had me escaping reality without realizing it. But with Ia noona's eyes brimming, stifling sobs—uuugh, uuugh—this was the worst possible time for escapism. First, I needed to figure out why.
"Um, Ia noona. Why are you about to cry? I get being mad, but the crying part... I don't quite get it."
As I trailed off, expressing my bewilderment, she wiped her eyes and shot me a sharp, reddened glare. Then, in a pouty, curt tone:
"P-Paster looked at me all wrong."
Her speech had slipped back to formal from casual, but before I could relax:
"Huh? My eyes? How did I look at you wrong...?"
"L-Like you were about to leave! Like you had other people to rely on and no lingering attachment to me at all! There's no one in this world who could catch Paster if you really decided to vanish. So of course seeing you look like you'd bolt any second makes me tear up! Uuugh..."
As she spoke, her emotions surged back. She clamped her mouth shut, pulled down the corners of her lips, and struggled to hold back the tears. I grabbed the back of her head, pulled her into a hug, and stroked her hair. Out of her sight, my mouth hung open in silent shock. Holy shit. She'd read my mind just from my eyes?
Her observational skills were beyond common sense—goosebumps prickled my skin. And yeah, if I really wanted to disappear, no one could stop me. Hearing it straight like that weighed heavy on my heart, though. Tears at the mere thought of me leaving... How deep did her feelings run?
Come to think of it, Ska, Lapis, Silk Blond, and now Ia noona in my arms—they all freaked out at the idea of me leaving. Just acting like I might go had them crying, groveling, begging... Well, minus Ska, who never apologized.
Minus Ska, they all dreaded me leaving or hating them that much. When I first realized their feelings, I'd been too shocked to dig deeper. But soothing Ia noona now brought up a question I should've asked ages ago. Why me? What was so great about me?
Sure, I'm killer in bed. Big dick, and if I wanted, I could drag them through orgasm hell from start to finish without letting them pass out. Even without Rabbit Hole sparks, Ska and Lapis came buckets every thrust. Sex prodigy, check.
But they didn't know that yet—they liked me before trying it. Why fall for a guy like me? And what even was romantic love, exactly? Fifteen years of physical torment from Ska and social sabotage from her rumors—I'd never liked anyone rationally. Love was some distant fairy tale.
But Lapis's confession, and now Ia noona tearing up at the thought of me leaving... Love wasn't so distant anymore. Was it my turn to face it seriously? But from what I knew, love started with loving someone first. And I didn't love anyone right now. No one worth loving, anyway.
Lapis saying she liked me had stirred unfamiliar flutters, but not love. I'd heard from the guild master over drinks once: thinking of your love makes you happy. Lapis didn't quite do that. Just... yeah, she's cute, I guess? Even I knew I was a total newbie at this. Never loved, not even a crush.
If I'd lived normally, I'd have had at least a puppy love. But one massive cockblocking pest ruined that. A real shithead of a pest. Rage flared in my chest again. Fucking Ska bitch. Next time I see her, hypnosis app straight to her gut, then 500 belly farts. Make her bare her own stomach first, then blast upper belly, lower belly, sides till she begs for mercy.
"Hoo."
I sighed, pausing my Ska-fueled fury, and looked at the one who could teach me about love.
"...Hic."
Ia noona was still buried in my chest, sniffling. She hadn't shaken the fear I'd leave. I hated seeing her—the one who'd saved my life multiple times—anxious and hurting because of me. Even if it was obsessive clinginess or fear of her rage, anything but this pain would be a thousand times better.
"Ia noona. I won't leave you. So don't worry."
I stroked her soft dark brown hair as I said it. Finally, she lifted her face to meet my eyes.
"...Really? You won't just vanish suddenly?"
It was a desperate plea begging for "yes." But I couldn't indulge her fully. Time to leash this ticking time bomb too. I smoothed her hair gently, adding safeguards one by one.
"As long as you don't lock me in some 'Paster display case,' smash my house when you're mad, nag about repair bills... or any of that crazy shit. I absolutely won't leave you."
Listing the obvious no-gos would make it easy for her to accept. Putting words to common sense was abnormal itself, but she needed to hear it to relax. I met her eyes, smiled brightly, and asked:
"Easy, right?"
"......"
But Ia noona averted her gaze and squirmed, trying to bury her face in my chest again. Oh, hell no. Zap! I used Rabbit Hole to shove her from my forearm to elbow, grabbed her chin with the hand that'd been stroking her hair, and stared straight into those dark brown eyes.
"Don't like it? Can't accept?"
"Huh? Oh, th-that's..."
"If you don't wanna, fine. But don't get mad later if I vanish suddenly..."
"No! I'll do it! I promise! No display case! No locking you up! No smashing houses! I'll pay repairs properly! And canceling that secret plan to change the penthouse deed to joint ownership during repairs...! Ah."
"Pardon?"
Did I just hear something I shouldn't have? As I eyed her suspiciously, she clapped her hands, nodding vigorously.
"N-Nothing! I won't! I won't do anything you'd hate! So please, don't ever leave me...?"
Her desperate plea, eyes wide like a kitten in boots, cracked me up. I smirked and gave her what she wanted most.
"Yeah. I won't leave. If I ever do, I'll tell you where I'm going."
"...Yes!"
Her face lit up with a smile so pure it practically went sparkle. She nodded eagerly and snuggled back into my chest. Perfect timing, I thought. Alright, leash secured. Time for what I originally wanted.
I cupped her cheek with the hand stroking her hair, pitching my voice full of cute younger-guy charm to make her want to say yes.
"Noona. Can you grant me one request?"
"Yes!"
"You can say yes that fast? Without knowing what it is?"
"Because I know you won't leave me! So whatever it is, I'm good!"
Her straightforward yes threw me for a loop, but hey, good is good. The request was embarrassing to say outright, so I averted my eyes, scratched my cheek, and mumbled like an ant crawling:
"Um... s-sleep with me... Sex. Lovey-dovey sex would be even better..."