Oh Fuck: Three Days to Die
"Rabbit. You're gonna die in three days."
"Pardon?"
Dr. Emme said it in a perfectly calm voice as she checked the test results. But the content of that calm voice was so utterly ridiculous that I could only stupidly ask her to repeat it.
In response to my question, she kindly explained what she meant by dying in three days.
"You're gonna die. Your insides are a total mess, aren't they? Two opposing energies are clashing inside you nonstop, so you can't recover, and if we leave it like this, the internal bleeding will just get worse until you puke up dozens of liters of blood and croak within three days. For sure."
I was thrown off for a moment by her impassive, emotionless death sentence, but I forced a smile and denied reality.
"H-Haha! It's been ages since we last saw each other, Dr. Emme—jokes in poor taste like that aren't cool! Whew, almost fell for it there! Whoa~~~."
"······."
What came back at me was just her unchanged expression and the gut feeling that I was screwed. My back was already drenched in cold sweat.
I paused for a bit before finally confirming with her one last time.
"······For real?"
She nodded at my question, confirming that everything she'd said was true.
"······For real."
Oh fuck.
In this goddamn world, Jesus Christ. So that wasn't a power-up—it was a death flag? I'd put Ska Rate in her mansion, and Lapis Julie—who didn't have a place to crash—in the super-comfy portable bed in the scout leader's room (portable my ass; it's a flex I bought with my own cash, plush as hell). Then I'd rushed straight to Dr. Emme.
Vomiting black, stinky blood was one of the classic symptoms of hwan-gol-tal-tae—the perfect reconstruction of the body. I'd gained the ability to use brand-new blue sparks and red sparks that I'd never seen before, and even symptoms of what could be called a top-tier power-up like hwan-gol-tal-tae were showing up. It had my heart pounding like crazy, not just thumping.
Am I finally getting strong?! Breaking free from this freak constitution where I can't use mana despite being an awakener, stuck at F-rank forever?! Damn it!
I'd yelled that in my head as I practically skipped to her lab. That's when I asked the lab hermit—who spends like 365 days a year holed up there—for a full-body checkup. And the result? A terminal diagnosis.
Not six months or even three—just a ridiculously short three days.
My body trembled like a leaf in a typhoon at this lifespan shorter than even sick leave.
"······Isn't there any other way? Do I really have to die like this?"
With death right in front of me, moisture crept into my voice unbidden. If Dr. Emme said I was dying—and slapped a "for real" on it—then it was game over. She can do damn near anything, but when she admits she can't, she doesn't even entertain delusions about it.
So I knew grasping at straws wouldn't help, but I asked anyway. Still, no way around my confirmed death.
At least I got to cum inside. If I'd known, I'd have just gone wild without a care instead of this bullshit·····. No, wait—no. This happened because I creampied.
Instead of thinking I could neutralize it with Lapis's mana when my body heated up, I should've bolted straight to Dr. Emme and begged her to fix it. Fuck, screwing around with folk remedies backfired big time!
Even the nightmare of marrying Ska was better than dying. With death looming, I was dead certain. Better to roll in dog shit than go to the afterlife.
But realizing that now was too late. My fate was sealed, and regretting what I'd done was the most pointless thing in the world.
So I decided to think about how to spend my last three days meaningfully.
What to do for three days. Write a will? Should I tell Ska? Then I could apologize.
If she found out I was dying, she'd bawl her eyes out for sure. Snot and tears streaming as she wails, "Sorry, Paster! Don't die! Don't you dare die! Please····· I'll apologize over and over. So please don't dieee!" Seeing that for real might make dying worth it···· No, fuck that—living's way better than dying, damn it.
As I pondered what to do with my final three days, Dr. Emme's dubious voice snapped me out of it.
"Huh? No. Just go get treated by Ia Ris. Of course, unless you deal with those two energies in your body, the root problem won't be solved."
"Huh? That works? You said I'd die."
"I said you'd die if left like this. Never said you'd just straight-up die. Think I'd be this chill if I really thought you'd kick the bucket?"
Honestly, even if I was on death's door, she'd probably stay this chill. But saying that out loud wouldn't help, so I just chuckled awkwardly and nodded.
"R-Right. Haha! You're always cool-headed and rational, Dr. Emme, but warm and human with guys you like!"
"Heh heh. True. I do tend to get all human with my Rabbit. Speaking of human···· Rabbit, why the hell is Ska Rate's and Lapis Julie's mana mixed in your body?"
Her eyes stayed dead-fish dull, but her mouth curved into a smirk as she asked. It was a question, sure—but not because she didn't know the answer. She knew everything and was just curious how I'd react. A shitty question.
"Wh-Wha?"
"What the hell did you do for two S-rank awakeners' mana to linger in your body?"
The moment I heard that, my body started shaking uncontrollably.
"Th-Th-Th-That is······ uh, um?"
What the? Why's my body shaking like this? Why's my heart pounding? Why's my breath so ragged?
I'd just heard a question, but my body reacted like extreme terror had hit. Even in front of S-rank wrath, I only flinched a bit—no full-on anxiety and fear like this. It didn't make sense for a normal human like Dr. Emme's chilly question to freak me out this bad.
And weirdly, my head wasn't actually feeling the fear despite the shaking body.
······Wait, no way.
I put my hand to my strangely trembling chest, then fired white sparks through my whole body with Rabbit Hole. My body flashed white, and focusing only on my original body and clothes, I teleported right next to me. That's when the insane shaking finally stopped.
Yup. That's what it was.
I furrowed my brow and glared at Dr. Emme. She averted her eyes with a sly glance, and that cautious move confirmed she was the culprit.
I dropped my voice an octave lower than usual, invoking the name she hated being called, and asked seriously.
"Emme, should I get mad?"
"N-No. You're cute when mad, but not at me."
Yup, my sudden panic-shake was her doing. Probably injected something when she drew my blood earlier. Symptoms like shaking, ragged breath, pounding heart? Sounded like that "makes the target suddenly terrified and spill everything" drug I'd mentioned offhand before. She'd made it.
But why test it on me? Without consent!
This wasn't the first time she'd pulled shit like this, but it pissed me off every time.
"Why do something to piss me off? I told you to at least warn me."
"B-But warning first could reduce the experiment's effect. Mental drugs depend on whether the subject is aware······."
"Emme, is that what you should be saying right now?"
"N-No, no. That's just TMI. But Rabbit, do I really have to say stuff like that to someone younger? Even I, with my thick skin, get a bit embarrassed."
Embarrassed in this situation? That hit my pride.
Why's a simple apology so hard for everyone? The more this happened, the more I reevaluated Lapis in my heart—she'd given a sincere apology and begged forgiveness.
Dr. Emme or Ska, their pride was sky-high. Tops in their fields, confidence piercing the heavens—but that didn't excuse dodging apologies.
I wanted to remind her again and chew her out, but she was my benefactor. The favors she'd done me were beyond words, so I couldn't zap her womb like I did Ska.
All I could do was leave.
"Don't wanna? Fine, I won't listen."
I snapped sharper than intended, bid her goodbye, and turned to leave for treatment.
Then a frantic voice—not like her—and footsteps came from behind, a small hand grabbing my clothes.
"N-No! Rabbit, no! I will! I will, so stop! I'll even upload a 10-minute apology video—black screen thumbnail with white text saying 'Sorry' in the middle! Stop! Halt those pride-hurt stomps out of the lab!"
She machine-gunned nonsense in panic, but boiled down: she'd apologize.
An apology? Gotta accept. I turned back, jerked my chin to demand it.
She fidgeted with her hands hidden in her sleeves, then clasped them at her navel, bowed, and apologized sincerely.
"Sorry for testing 'Horror Special! Spill Everything!' on my way-younger Rabbit without warning. I meant to tell you first, but Ska Rate and Lapis Julie's mana both showed up in you, hypotheses about why flooded my head, I got annoyed, and impulse-hit. Sorry."
Some stuff shouldn't have been in there, but compared to her first apology to me (forgot why I was mad, but she sweat bullets saying, "N-Next time, I'll try procedures to avoid this"), it was progress.
I nodded, forgiving her at this pretty decent apology.
"Not 100 points, but I feel the sincerity. Okay, accepted. Don't do it again···· though you will, right?"
"Yeah."
Yeah, my ass. But that's Dr. Emme. Extreme efficiency freak—no pointless lies. Knowing that, I wasn't surprised and just nodded.
"Fine. At least warn me next time. Do it again and I won't see your face for a week."
"That's a bit eban-de. Got it. I'll always announce injections next time. That cool?"
"Ideally you'd ask before dosing if it's okay, but···· whatever, that's good enough."
"Right, Rabbit. Push more and it'd be brain-dead."
She'd regained her usual shameless vibe. Annoying as hell, but that was part of her charm. People either hate it or love it···· like a sea cucumber? I fell into the love camp, chuckling as I patted her small shoulder to end the fiasco.
"One more thing. Anyway, can I go get treated now?"
"Huh? Oh, y-yeah. With your bad feelings toward me gone, go ahead. Come back after. I'll definitely ask about Ska Rate and Lapis Julie's mana mix then."
Hmm···· Telling her I got the uterus tattoo from sex with them and that's why? Might be okay with Dr. Emme. She's helped me tons, one way or another.
Maybe she'd unlock the true potential of these new-colored sparks? Make me some badass attack like Fire Bolt or Ice Bolt??
Daydreaming that, I left the lab to meet Ia Ris.
Woooong.Thud!
The thick lab door closed, and once Paster was gone, Emme pulled the test results from her doctor's coat pocket and checked again.
"······Not good, huh. This."
Her furrowed brow lingered on the "Extreme Yang, Extreme Yin" in the mana properties field.