Ska Rate (6)
‘Why isn't Paster around? Because a useless guy like that isn't needed in our Liar's Trap.’
‘Well, this is what you wanted too, right, Ska Rate? If you hated him enough to call him useless in front of everyone every day...’
‘I just couldn't stand seeing one loach muddying the clear water. Plus, it was a chance to score points with you, Ska Rate, so I told him to get lost.’
‘Letting an F-rank into our Liar's Trap was the problem from the start. No idea what connection he had with the guild master to even get in... but this is how it ends. Our guild isn't easy enough to carry a guy with no skills.’
‘Telling him to leave in front of everyone was a bit much... but it's what you wanted, Ska Rate. I did good, right?’
After that, I don't remember much. Just a vague blur of anger, fear, and sadness. The thought of Paster leaving me unleashed a tsunami of negative emotions. I wished it was all a dream. So I closed my eyes and prayed to the heavens to wake me from the nightmare.
But I couldn't wake up, so in my rage, I set everything ablaze. Maybe God would finally wake me if I pushed it that far. When I came to, I was surrounded by flames, cradled in Paster's arms. Seeing the fire everywhere confirmed it wasn't a dream. Everything I'd done was real.
But being held by Paster in that moment felt like a dream. After all, being in his arms was something I could only achieve in my dreams. And so that dreamlike day ended on a happy note. Sure, there were annoying aftermaths like the guild headquarters burning to the ground and the 1st team leader suffering full-body burns, landing in critical condition—but my Rate family would handle it all. Not my problem.
Two years later, today, Paster was trying to leave me again. Memories of that nightmarish day overlapped with the present, short-circuiting my brain. Unlike back then, Paster could escape any situation, from anyone, if he really wanted to now. That fact crushed my heart, filling my head with every negative thought imaginable.
No. No. No. Paster, you can't go. Please don't. I can't live without you. I can't even imagine a life without you. So please, Paster.
Desperate pleas rose in my throat. If spitting them out could stop him from leaving, I'd say them a thousand times. But I didn't want to. My dream wasn't Paster depending on me—it was me making him depend on everything about me.
When I was little, my mother taught me: women who depend on men get discarded, so become a woman a man depends on. She added that he'd never be able to leave you then. Raised on those lessons, my dream naturally became one where Paster, whom I loved endlessly, depended on me.
No matter how much he tried to leave, I wasn't giving up on that dream yet. I believed I could beg then, once he'd fully made up his mind. So I came up with a shallow ploy, muttering just loud enough for Paster to hear.
"Ah, no way. I hate being apart from Paster. What should I do? How can I stay with him? Should I just burn everything down? If I incinerate the whole world so he has nowhere to run, won't he have to come back to me? Sounds good. Yeah, let's do th—"
"Gahhh! Ska! Stop! Halt those negative, extreme thoughts right now!"
Paster grabbed my shoulders, his face drained of color, reacting desperately to my mumbling. Seeing his panicked eyes, it looked like I'd stopped him from leaving somehow. Ska Rate's gamble of a lifetime—success.
But his reaction pissed me off a little. Paster, even I wouldn't seriously think of burning the whole world. What do you take me for? If this weren't the situation, I'd have smacked you.
Of course, if he really ditched me, I'd lose it for sure—and who knows what I'd do then. I wouldn't even know myself.
Wait... Paster abandoning me? Because he hates me? Because he resents me...?
Just imagining it for a split second squeezed my heart again. My vision blurred, my nose stung. Tears were coming.
"S-Ska. Let's talk it out. We can both share our honest feelings about what went wrong. Okay?"
I was on the verge of crying when Paster held my shoulders, met my eyes, and suggested we talk. If we had an honest conversation, would he not leave?
"Paster...? If we talk... you won't run away...?"
I was scared. Terrified, remembering that day two years ago. Me, an S-rank awakener and the world's number two—no match for the fear of Paster leaving. In my terror, I clung to him without thinking.
Paster let out a wistful sigh at my desperation and answered.
"Yeah, I won't go. But no getting mad during the talk. Promise."
Saying that, he held out his pinky. Such a pretty hand, always. Long fingers, perfect thickness, neat nails. When he offers it, I can't resist. I hooked my pinky around his long one. He chuckled softly, shaking our joined fingers up and down.
"There, promise made."
His gentle voice and faint smile as he spoke to me made me fall for him all over again.
2. Fuck, who would've thought I'd end up pinky-swearing with Ska like this. Life's full of surprises. Ska Rate was a disaster in human skin because words never got through to her, and now here I was, pinky-promising for a talk. It was ridiculous enough to make me laugh bitterly.
Anyway, talking was all we had left. But what the hell do I even say? I'd blurted out trying to talk after hearing her terrifying threat about burning the world if she couldn't have me, but now that the chance was here, I had nothing.
"……."
"……."
A suffocating silence dominated my bedroom. Ska's right hand clutching my sleeve made it feel even heavier. Fuck, I'm suffocating here. Why does Ska look so satisfied? Is she happy just gripping my sleeve?
Ska stared at me with hazy eyes—not her usual predatory glare, but the gaze of a well-tamed pet. Seeing that softened my fear a bit. With the terror gone, my mouth loosened. Borrowing the momentum of the situation, I asked first.
"Ska, got anything you wanna say to me? This silence is awkward as hell."
"Wh-what? Something to say...?"
"Yeah, anything."
Her answer would decide how I handled Ska from here. What would she say? Confess she liked me straight-up, no bullshit? Threaten me like always not to mix with other girls, follow them, or take their handouts? Or command me, her slave, to just obey?
Whatever it was, next up was taming Ska. Her reaction when I said I was leaving proved she liked me—way more than I'd imagined. So if she made demands and I countered by saying I'd do hers if she did mine, she'd bite for sure. That's how much she liked me. She'd do anything to be my girlfriend. Arrogant thought, but probably true.
I had no clue why she liked me, but guessing: we'd known each other forever, and I was the only guy close to her like this (sort of). So in her head, "man = Paster." And given her obsessive attachment to her possessions, being treated like one made me her precious treasure. Chilling theory, but it fit Ska so well it scared me more.
As I shuddered at the thought, Ska finally spoke up.
"Paster... about that hypnosis app earlier. Y-you used it on other girls too, right?"
Totally off from what I expected. I said anything was fine.
Why ask about the hypnosis app she already knew about? Confused, I nodded.
"Uh, yeah. I did."
"Urgh..."
Even though she knew, hearing I'd used it on others pissed her off—she ground her teeth. But she shook her head to shake off the anger, then looked up at me with desperate eyes, asking carefully, painfully, like squeezing out the words.
"Th-then... did you have sex with those girls?"
???? What a shocking, sad question. Sex? Fuck, I wish.
When I first got the app, yeah, I thought, "Hypnotize 'em and boom, fuck party! Easy mode! Heh heh splurt splat bang!"
But when I actually used it and it worked, it hit me: sticking my dick in without consent is rape. The realization was so intense, my courage vanished. I faked not having sex to vent my hatred on those tormentors. Like the fox calling sour grapes out of reach.
Knowing now it was fake was a godsend, but fact was, I'd never had sex. Anyway. Stammering or blushing here would scream virgin loser, so chin up, confident—like Lapis Julie, our team leader.
"Nah. Haven't."
"Really?! Th-then with girls you didn't hypnotize?"
"Nope."
"Gasp...! What about some girl you met dancing at a club?!!"
"Why the hell would I go to a club? You know I hate that shit. No."
"Th-then!"
Damn, so many questions. I wanted to yell, I haven't had sex! I'm a virgin!!!! But no guts yet.
Is it that great I'm a virgin? Well, she likes me, so yeah—makes her feel better. I want my first to be a virgin too.
Lost in random thoughts, Ska fidgeted, mustered courage, and blurted forcefully.
"Paster! Let's have sex—with me!"