Ska Rate's Jealous Rampage
"Who the hell is this bitch?"
Ska Rate's voice dropped to a whisper, sending chills down my spine. I'd rather have her yelling like usual. Why the fuck was she suddenly so quiet? It felt like if I didn't answer right away, she'd snap my neck like a chicken's. I hurriedly checked the sender's name. And when I saw who had been bombarding me with texts and endless missed calls, the name slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"Ia Ris…?"
It was so out of left field. Why the hell would Ia Ris do this? Was it because I stood her up? No fucking way—sending texts up until just now didn't make any goddamn sense. The time was 4:03 PM. Her last message had come at 4:02 PM. She'd even texted while my phone was charging. Just as I reached to check that final message…
Crunch!
"Aaaagh!"
A grip like a vice crushed my shoulder, forcing a scream from my lips. It felt like my bones were grinding to dust.
"Hey, you. I'm right here, and you're still checking texts from another woman?"
"W-Wait! L-Let go first, then we taaaalk!"
"You drop the phone first! I've told you before—don't accept shit from any woman but me!"
Even as she shouted, Ska Rate kept pulverizing my shoulder. If she'd gone all out, my arm would've vanished, and I'd be qualifying for the world's lamest amputee contest. But she was holding back just enough to crumple it without breaking—leaving room for negotiation. Negotiation my ass—this was straight-up extortion!
"Guhhh…! O-Okay, fine! I'll drop it! Just stop!"
I couldn't take the pain anymore and let the phone fall. Ska Rate snatched it up like a cat pouncing on prey. Now all that was left was her seeing Ia Ris's texts, flipping out over me chatting with another woman, and torching my place. That couldn't happen. I still had billions in loans left—suing her with the Rate family as her backup? I'd just spin my wheels forever and end up with pocket change.
Facing off against Ska Rate was a guaranteed loss. I had to do something. But what?
At least I could buy time. The phone was still locked.
"…What the hell is this?"
As expected, Ska Rate scowled at the lock screen. I'd only used a PIN, no fingerprint worries if she tried grabbing my hand. But it'd unlock eventually. A pissed-off Ska Rate growling, "Give me the password or die," and I'd cave in terror.
What now? How do I stop this psycho bitch?
Crisis mode kicked my brain into overdrive. Sparks practically flew from how fast it spun… Wait, sparks?
That word flashed me back to morning. The white sparks from my Rabbit Hole had zapped Ska Rate into a squirting orgasm and blackout. …Should I do it? Make her squirt again? Better than my house burning, right?
Crazy idea, but perfect for now. Worst case, it fails and my place still burns. There's a saying: When you're hesitating, just do it. Yeah. Let's go. Fuck her up, Paster! Hell yeah!
"No, that's not it? It's always been this one… Oh, right—that was the one I made you set to my birthday. Then what? My three sizes? Hmm…"
Ska Rate had her back to me, burning with competitive fury over cracking my phone PIN. Why the fuck was she getting fired up over that? Whatever—made sneaking up easy. I approached carefully, so even if she noticed, it wouldn't seem suspicious. Just like patting a buddy's back.
Touch her, and…
I held my breath, every nerve focused on contact. My hand neared her lower back.
Vrrrrm!
My phone in her hand buzzed. Incoming call.
"…Hah."
Ska Rate's eyes narrowed at the caller ID. Mine bulged wide. Sender—Ia Ris. A call from Ia Ris.
No. If Ska Rate talked to her on my phone, disaster.
…Wait, why disaster? Ia Ris was normal. Unlike this raging redhead lunatic. Sure, spamming texts for hours over a no-show wasn't totally sane, but by my standards? She was fine. She never treated me like shit. Hell, she bought me food, sent gifts. That wall-mounted TV in the living room? Her gift. It glitched red sometimes, but still top-tier.
No way someone that generous was bad. So why did I think them talking was trouble?
While I puzzled that out, Ska Rate shot me an uneasy smirk and answered without warning.
"Hello? Paster? Where are you? You okay? Nothing wrong, right?"
Ia Ris's voice brimmed with worry—for me. It'd been ages since anyone fretted over me; my nose stung a bit.
"What the fuck are you babbling about, you psycho? Quit acting normal."
But Ska Rate's brutal retort shattered the moment.
I couldn't just sit there while she abused someone as kind as Ia Ris.
"Hey… Mmph."
The second I opened my mouth, Ska Rate jammed a finger over my lips and mouthed, Shut up and listen.
Then Ia Ris's voice from the phone: "…Ska Rate, where's Paster?"
Low, sharp. Way creepier than her playful tease last night. I froze like a frog before a snake, but Ska Rate scoffed and poked harder.
"Paster? Sleeping right next to me. Want me to wake him?"
What the fuck was this misleading bullshit? I didn't want Ia Ris misunderstanding. She was one of the few decent, normal people in my life.
I yanked her finger off and opened my mouth to yell "No!" loud enough for Ia Ris to hear—
Crash! Smash!
Something shattered over the speaker. I jolted; Ska Rate smirked like she'd expected it.
What? Was there really something off about her? Ska Rate calling Ia Ris "psycho" all this time—wasn't just hate?
If even Ia Ris wasn't normal, who could I trust?
My heart pounded with dread—then the tension deflated as Ia Ris spoke.
"…No, no way. The Paster I know would die before sleeping with you sane. Right? Tell me I'm right, Ska Rate."
"W-What?"
Against expectations, Ia Ris pressed on confidently. Ska Rate's face flushed—not shame or pain, but rage. Her eyes sharpened at me. Why me? She said it!
I made an innocent face, but Ska Rate scowled in pure dissatisfaction—the look that screamed, I know it's true but hate admitting it, so blame Paster.
Ia Ris counterattacked.
"See? Can't even deny it. Even you know that's a ridiculous lie. Right, Ska Rate? That's why I've been telling you—leave Paster alone. It's all karma, what goes around comes around…"
"Shut up! Y-You just wait! I'm not letting this slide!"
Click.
"…Ska Rate? Hanging up like that…"
"Ughhh! So annoying!"
Outmatched by Ia Ris's sharp tongue, Ska Rate ended the call and chucked my phone at me. "Lightly" by S-rank standards—a rising fastball to me.
Thwack!
"Ow!"
It nailed my forehead dead-on; the impact sent me tumbling backward. Ska Rate pounced like a big cat, straddling my stomach, and unloaded.
"You—you really hate sleeping with me that much? Prefer dying?"
Tears welled in her eyes from sheer fury. Rage had numbed her reason.
What the fuck kind of insane question was that? Better than dying, sure, but hate it? Obviously, you crazy bitch.
I wanted to scream it, but knew the fallout. So I lied through dry lips.
"If I had to say… it's g-good, right?"