Memoir (Fin): The Senior's Unshakable Confidence
1. The answer my senior gave to my question of how he planned to help me was this.
"Despite how I look, I'm amazing at running away. So I'll pull the aggro of that Dungeon Lord or whatever it is while dodging around, and you gather your power and blast it in one shot. Sound good, right?"
"...Huh."
It wasn't the kind of thing you'd say to the man who saved your life-giver's life, but it was utterly reckless. The Dungeon Lord was insanely fast. Even with my senior's space-teleportation ability that let him go anywhere in an instant, his physical stats were higher than an F-rank awakener like me but lower than a D-rank. There was no way he could even perceive the Dungeon Lord's speed.
Unless he could sense its hostility and dodge before the attack even came, my senior wouldn't even see it swing before he was cleaved in half. Of course, he could talk like that precisely because he'd never faced a Dungeon Lord before.
That said, with his ability to warp anywhere in a blink, he might just be the best in the world at escaping. But for his plan of "pulling aggro while running away" to work, it wouldn't be enough to just run—he'd have to dodge. And not just dodge, but keep irritating it so its eyes never turned to me.
But there was no way it wouldn't notice me conjuring thirty blossoms of Snow Flowers. No matter what my senior did to distract it, its attention would snap to me before I finished gathering power, rendering his efforts pointless and getting me killed.
So in the end, even if my senior tried to help, it wouldn't change a thing against the Dungeon Lord.
With that judgment, I straightened my back proudly and spoke to my senior, who was gazing at me unflinchingly.
"Senior, even if I refuse, I know you'll follow anyway. So I'll explain point by point why your help would be meaningless. If you're convinced by what I say, just leave. Got it?"
To my icy proposal, he grinned and replied,
"If I can refute everything you say, then we go together."
Logically speaking, there was no way he could counter the reasons I'd come up with for why he couldn't help. With a cynical smile, I nodded slightly.
"Fine. Go ahead. If you can."
※
"See? Perfect refutation, right? So it's settled—I'm helping you."
About three minutes of back-and-forth later, I snapped aggressively at my senior, who was grinning triumphantly.
"...Senior, are you seriously messing with me right now?"
"Nah, I'm dead serious. I wanna take down that Dungeon Lord monster over there quick and head back."
"Someone that serious refutes things like that?"
My senior's counters were a total mess. No matter what reason I gave for why his help would be pointless, he shot back with a single phrase.
"I can do it."
Ridiculous. Even when I pointed out that with his physical abilities, he'd be bisected before he even registered the attack. Even when I said he'd have to constantly harass it to keep its eyes off me gathering power. Even when I explained that no matter what he did, its gaze would turn to me before I finished, making his efforts meaningless and dooming me to death.
He just confidently declared, "No, I can do it."
His baseless responses left me speechless with disbelief, and hearing him claim it was a "perfect refutation" and that helping was now decided pushed me past absurdity into fury. So I let it out.
With death on my mind, I could even snap at my life-giver's savior.
"Senior, you'd be zero help against the Dungeon Lord! Your ability is incredible, no doubt. Saving the team leader and the others in this situation? Worthy of praise. But that's where it ends. You'd just die pointlessly!"
My senior's power was something even S-ranks couldn't replicate. I didn't want someone with that dying here because of me.
So to save him, I could raise my voice even at my benefactor.
"And how is 'I can do it' a perfect refutation? Anyone can say that. You don't even explain how—just recklessly claim you can? How is that not irresponsible?"
I couldn't read his mind, but to me, it sounded like a suicidal delusion. His "refutation" didn't even qualify as one.
I hadn't been refuted at all.
"Finally, I don't need your help. Like you said, I have no confidence I'll win—I'm basically going to die. But it's my choice, my responsibility. So stop meddling and go back to the guild."
It was from the heart. Better to die than live a life worse than death. This was the only way to uphold the Julie family's honor—no regrets.
If I died fighting, at least no one could call me a coward.
At my words laced with raw emotion, he fell silent, just listening.
Good. He gets it now.
I felt bad being cold to the man who'd eased my guilt by saving the team leader, but I had no choice if I wanted him to listen. Gazing at his hardened expression, since I was off to die anyway, I made a rather brazen last request.
"Oh, before you go, one final favor, Senior. My last words. Tell the head of the Julie family—my mother—that until the end, I fought for the family's honor..."
Crackle!
Snap!
"Kyaaak!?"
It was the same finger-flick as before, but this time the pain pierced my forehead instead of his finger. The agony drilled through my skin, past my skull, deep into my head, welling tears in my eyes.
Clutching my throbbing forehead, I looked up at him. He was frowning furiously, clicking his tongue in annoyance before barking at me.
"Where do you get off talking like that? Go back alive and tell her yourself!"
It was a far cry from the calm, considerate, gentle side he'd shown so far—like all his pent-up frustration had exploded into something rough and emotional. Yet his words were still kind: Go back alive and tell her yourself.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
His gruff yet gentle demeanor suddenly set my heart fluttering. Something I'd never felt before made it race wildly, but nothing changed.
I'd decided to fight the Dungeon Lord, and I wouldn't back down.
"N-No, I'm not going! Not until I take down the Dungeon Lord..."
"That's why I'm helping! Didn't you hear me say trust your senior?"
"How are you helping? You just keep saying you can—how am I supposed to believe..."
"Like this!"
Crackle!
The moment he grabbed my arm in response to my question, my vision flipped with a flash.
"Wh-What? Wh-What's happening?"
Crackle!
In that instant, I was cradled in his sturdy arms, my back and knees supported, snug in his broad chest.
The so-called "princess carry." The pose I'd glimpsed in a book as a child, dreamed of once or twice, but given up as unfit for me.
And now it was happening for real—with my senior, no less.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
My heart pounded faster, heat rushing to my face. Looking up at his face from below made him seem far more masculine than straight-on.
Senior looked even more handsome up close... No, what the hell was I thinking?!
Not the kind of thought you'd have about an F-rank awakener.
I hurriedly circulated mana to cool my fevered head and was about to snap at him for this nonsense when his glaring lips parted first.
"Posture doesn't matter when gathering power, right? You're S-rank, heir to the Julies—you can handle a little discomfort."
"Y-Yes?"
"What's 'yes'? Listen. I'll carry you and dodge the Dungeon Lord's attacks, so just focus on gathering power and unleash it when ready."
"Pardon? But Senior, you can't dodge its attacks! Logically impossible..."
"Hey, Lapis Julie."
His voice cut me off, calling my full name with an authority hard to defy. The moment he did, I shut up like a scolded child. To my silence, he stated matter-of-factly,
"I'm way better at running than you think. Bigger imagination means better results. Don't cage my abilities in your narrow common sense."
"...!"
What he said was exactly what I'd thrown at the team leader when I'd ignored her sound advice. But my situation then was worlds apart from his now.
I'd spat arrogance from overconfidence in my power; he knew his limits yet claimed he could do it.
Proof? His steady heartbeat, calm expression, unwavering muscles. Everything conveying his emotions was composed.
Maybe that's why—despite how unbelievable, illogical it was—I wanted to believe him.
Ugh... Why? Why did it end up like this?
It all went wrong with the princess carry. Charge in like that, and how can I not want to believe?
His bold presence, unshakeable confidence, surprisingly firm muscles, and the trustworthiness only a more experienced senior could have. All of it reeled me in.
Squeezing out my last defiance, I grumbled peevishly,
"Why? Why the hell are you helping me? What do you care if I live or die?!"
"Like you said, I'm your senior. What kind of senior lets a junior throw themselves away pointlessly?"
"...!"
The rebellious question I'd loaded to land a punch boomeranged back as a devastating straight to my heart.
Thump!
Thump!
Thump!
Thump!
Thump!
Thump!
My face burned red, breath short, heart hammering. This unfamiliar emotion made my senior look handsomer with every beat. He was already good-looking, but now even more so.
As I stared dazedly at his face, he smirked with one corner of his mouth and turned toward the Dungeon Lord.
"Alright then, time to senior properly."
With that, the moment he stepped forward, crack!—an iceberg exploded, revealing the Dungeon Lord gripping white flame whips in both hands.
2. "So? What happened next?"
"What do you mean? While I whoosh, whoosh-whoosh dodged all its whip swings, Lapis gathered her Snow Flowers and froze both it and the Dungeon Core with the family's ultimate killer move, Snow Flower Chaos Dance - Absolute Zero, the strongest ever."
"Whoa... So that's what happened. First I'm hearing of it, a year later."
"I'm telling it now for the first time. Anyway, Exy sis, why'd you suddenly ask about that?"
"Huh? Well, waiting for Dr. Emme got boring. And with all the fuss about Lapis Julie lately, it just popped into my head."
"Gotcha. Curiosity satisfied? My turn to ask something."
"Huh? You got something for me? Ask away, anything."
I revealed even the story I'd kept secret to boost Lapis's honor, just to sate Exy sis's curiosity. Now I voiced the real reason.
"So why the hell are you part of the promise Dr. Emme brought up?"
Exy Train, former 2nd Team Leader of Liar's Trap and current advisor to Extramus, where Ul Blond belonged. Her showing up at Dr. Emme's personal promise spot couldn't be coincidence.
To my sharp question, Exy sis smiled foxily, her voice playful.
"Why? To sneak away a talented guy getting shafted despite his skills, obviously."
"What?"
"Paster, seriously. Won't you come to Extramus?"