The Forest of Minions (6)
Unlike us, who were wandering around happily as goddess and minions together, Chichiking was alone. Of course he was. Kind-hearted minions rare enough to hang out with an ugly, stinking undead were few and far between.
-Mad Human and the goddess... What are you doing here...
The ugly undead god, with a few chunks of flesh stuck to his skull, spoke up. The Lamia, the spirits, and Evni—who had never seen Chichiking before—covered their noses and backed away.
Sophia stepped forward boldly. Right beside her, Lulu hopped up and down.
“That’s what I should be asking. Why is Chichiking here?”
-I’m scouting for decent minions...
“You’ve got how many planets, and you’re looking for minions in the Forest of Minions?”
Yohan and Cheonsol both nodded at the same time. Chichiking wasn’t so poor a god that he needed to come here for new minions.
In battles he was limited to six minions in the entry, but he had a whole undead legion beyond that, and each minion had a clear concept.
“You’re not that hard up for minions!”
Sophia’s sharp jab! The effect was minimal.
-Do you only come to the forest when you’re hard up... The more minions the better... And... Sexy Newbie doesn’t know this info either...
The remaining scraps of flesh on Chichiking twitched into a smiling expression.
-I could tell you if you ask nicely...?
Looking at the Lamia holding her nose at the very back, blue flames bloomed in Chichiking’s eye sockets. The flames flickered like a candle in the wind.
-No...? Why is there a Lamia...
“Aha.”
Sophia grinned.
It was the kind of smile a gacha player makes right before flexing about pulling a broken character without spending much currency—the so-called lucky-pull flex.
“You heard the news that a rare minion appeared, huh? Too bad! I already caught the Lamia!”
-This... can’t be... Change your nickname from Sexy Newbie to LuckyFlex Newbie...
Chichiking trembled with rage. He was so angry that a scrap of flesh barely clinging to his finger dropped off with a plop.
-They say some years get it and some don’t... This can’t be... Really... The universe is unfair... Satisfied with Mad Human and Vampir...
Seeing the well-grown Lan-lan-i and Evni escorted by spirits, Chichiking’s flames burned more fiercely.
“Why are you looking at Lan-lan-i?”
“Skeleton...”
The kids were displeased. I couldn’t keep something bad for the children’s mental health in view for long.
When I stepped between them, the Lamia sent me a look full of admiration. Good thing I scored points early on.
Making a good first impression means you get points even for small acts like this.
-Mad Human’s two daughters... One was an egg... Hatched, I see... The daughter who was a kid has grown up...
“You remembered?”
-Anyone who saw that scene would remember...
Chichiking felt wronged. The guy without a heart pounded his ribcage.
-That broken skill that revived the undead’s pleasure nerves... That skill that impregnated an undead and made her lay an egg... How could I forget that unprecedented skill...
“Whaaat? An undead laid an egggg?”
The Lamia at the very back looked at me in shock. Before I could answer, Chichiking waved his arm.
-What. Is this a battle?
Then Cha-cha, Lulu’s mom, was summoned. No ghost horse came with her, but she was still beautiful.
I’d like to see the eyes hidden by the helmet if possible. A bit disappointing only knowing the lower half of the kids’ mom’s face.
Thump thump thump!
Lulu, seeing her real mom, bounced in place. After surveying the surroundings and spotting Lulu, Cha-cha’s mouth curved into a soft smile.
-My child. Wait. If there’s a child, that means Mad Human is here too?
-That’s right... He’s over there...
-Mad Human!
Cha-cha ground her teeth looking at me. Don’t know why she hates me so much.
“Laaan-laaan-iii. Why does that Deeeath Knight hate Yohaaaan?”
“Don’t know? Maybe because she’s Lulu’s mom and we never showed her?”
“Me too...”
“Does Evni sometimes want to see Evrande as well? Indeed. No matter how much this lady plays the mother role, one cannot do anything about the pull of blood kin.”
Hearing the women’s conversation, I got it.
“Sorry, Cha-cha. I should have posted Lulu’s photos on the minion community. From now on I’ll diligently post parenting diaries.”
-Truly Mad Human. That’s not why I dislike you. No, I do dislike you for that too, but have you forgotten what you did to me?
“What did I do? We had a good time.”
Cha-cha was genuinely dumbfounded.
-All I remember is being raped.
“Raaape? Yohaaaan raped a Deeeath Knight?”
“That’s right! Lan-lan-i was born that way too!”
“So wild. Coolll.”
-???
I learned the Lamia’s fetish. She had a rape fetish. North wind and sun or whatever—just using impregnation and jumping her would have conquered her.
Soon Lulu’s sibling will be born. The slave spirit with question marks over her head—let’s punish her when we return to the divine realm.
Clack-clack!!
Neglected Lulu got angry. Can’t have a kid who hasn’t even hatched yet get stressed. I picked her up and held her out to Cha-cha.
“Anyway she’s our kid. Hold her once.”
-I don’t like Mad Human, but I don’t dislike my own child. I like her, rather. Of course I’ll hold her.
Cha-cha tsundere-ishly took Lulu. I got the impression her eyes hidden by the helmet were smiling.
-Name is Lulu?
Clack-clack!
-Truly amazing. After becoming a Death Knight I had given up hope of continuing the line, yet a child was born. Lulu. You are a more precious child than you think. On the day you were born, all of Lord Chichiking’s minions talked about you.
Rumble!
The scene of the beautiful Death Knight and the jewel-like egg was so noble. Everyone was moved and forgot to speak.
-Was that so... It was that kind of event...
Except Chichiking. Sophia glared at the atmosphere-breaking undead god.
“You’re so oblivious that’s why you wander the forest alone without minions.”
-What are you talking about... Why would I bother taking out minions just to walk the forest... Alone is comfortable...
“What do you mean. Walking together is more fun, right?”
A debate between the goddess with social-butterfly vibes and the introvert undead. Different personalities—a topic that would forever run parallel.
I should take care of Cha-cha. Unlike Evrande, whom I’d seen a few times and talked with, this kids’ mom had no contact points, so I should talk while I had the chance.
“Cha-cha. First tell me your community nickname. That way even if we’re apart we’ll have a means to contact.”
-Mad Human is out of the loop. Once the regular season starts the letter function unlocks.
“But real-time conversation is impossible. In the community it is possible.”
-That’s right... Letters are a means to communicate with those who aren’t minions. My community nickname is Dena.
“I’m Carverworld.”
-...
Cha-cha put distance between us. Heartbreaking.
-I wondered what crazy bastard was going wild on the boards like that. Well. Who else but you would be that kind of human. If there were another it’d be a cosmic disaster.
Clack-clack!
Lulu defended me. As expected the only one I can trust is my daughter.
-Really? For real? Is Mad Human that good a dad?
Rumble
-Don’t be like that, come live with Mom. There are lots of undead uncles and aunts. How about it?
Cla...ck
-Dad is good and the sisters are good and Cheonsol is kind and the goddess’s chest is big so the feeling of being held is nice so I can’t go?
It was a timing to be moved, but I got suspicious. Could Lulu be a boy? Since only girls have been born so far, it’s about time for a boy.
But I hope it’s a girl. I hope no sons are born at all. I like daughters.
“Lulu. So this lady was thought of that way...”
“Lan-lan-i is a good sister!”
“Me too...”
“Hmm. Good things are good, I guess?”
The female lineup except Sophia was moved. Cha-cha hugged Lulu tightly as if regretful.
-Regrettable. Grow up healthy and well, okay?
RUMBLE RUMBLE!!
Lulu’s shell vibrated greatly. Cracks appeared in the surface jewels and a few chunks of amethyst fell to the ground.
Cha-cha was startled and caught Lulu.
-What. What? Is Lulu dying? Hey! Mad Human! Do something!
“Calm down.”
Cha-cha being undead doesn’t know this. I took Lulu and placed her on the ground.
“An egg is a world. Lulu who is trying to be born must destroy one world.”
-What... nonsense...
The dumb introvert undead Chichiking muttered as if absurd, but Cha-cha, whose comprehension was as good as her beautiful looks, gazed at Lulu soaked in emotion.
-She’s being born now?
“That’s right.”
“Lan-lan-i wants to see too!”
“Like this...”
“Evni was also born like this. Can’t you see well? This lady shall hold you.”
“Naa-a has seen lots of eggs hatching. But still wants to seeee.”
Everyone waited for Lulu’s hatching. Cracks spread on Lulu’s shell; it bulged out and sank repeatedly, and finally a hole opened.
My heart pounded. What kind of child would be born? Child of undead and human. What race would it be?
Crunch
“She’s coming out!”
Seeing a white form, Sophia shouted excitedly. Through the hole, two human skulls appeared.
“Uh...”
It was such a shocking sight my brain stopped. The child I’d waited so long for is a skeleton? My heart felt like it was being torn into a thousand, ten thousand pieces.
“Mad Demon! Snap out of it!”
“Lulu is a skeleton...”
Crunch crunch.
“Yohan! A hand! A hand came out!”
A hand came out? Looking at the hole that had grown a bit larger, a child’s hand emerged. The skull that had shocked me rolled to the floor.
It wasn’t a skeleton! Of course not!
After the hand came the arm, after the arm the shoulder. Finally amethyst-like eyes peeked out.
The moment I saw the face a sigh of relief escaped. Truly fortunate. A pretty girl.