The Minion's Forest (3)
The Lamia who had tumbled to the ground stared up at Sophia with a thoroughly bewildered expression. Sophia herself looked just as flabbergasted, her gaze flicking back and forth between Sky-Leon and the Lamia.
“...”
“...”
The two flustered goddesses and the Lamia were left completely speechless. The whole scene played out like a stage comedy, and it set my lungs itching with laughter.
“Heh heh heh.”
A real man never holds back when something’s funny. The moment I let the laugh roll up from deep in my chest, Sophia’s face crumpled.
“Yohan, you! What’s so damn funny?!”
“I’m laughing because I’m happy. Lamias are a powerful race, right? Just thinking how reliable she’ll be once she becomes a minion makes the laughter come out all by itself.”
“Huh? Uh… yeah. That’s right. Lamias are a good race.”
I looked at the Lamia, who was still dazed and wiping bodily fluids off herself. Lamias really were an excellent race.
Unlike the civilized Arachne, she wore no nipple covers, freely exposing her fair, full breasts without a hint of shame. True to her wild nature, her abs were also outstanding—cleanly split into an eleven-pack. Below those abs stretched a tail that caught and threw back the sunlight.
The tail, covered in distinctive reptilian scales, gleamed with a rich luster. Her human-skinned upper body still glistened with residual fluids, yet not a single drop clung to the sleek lower half.
They were reptile scales, yes, but nothing like the creepy ones back on my home planet. These were closer to the beautiful scales you’d find on a pet snake.
Scales that captivated the eye and made your fingers itch to touch them just from looking—those densely blanketed the Lamia’s lower body.
Mostly a deep green, yet the shade shifted subtly by section—light green, deep green, leaf green—adding an extra layer of pleasure just to admire them.
“Truly a fine race.”
“You’re not saying that while staring at her chest, are you?”
“Huh? Of course not.”
The charm points of the Lamia race certainly included the chest… but the absolute greatest charm point was that tail.
Anyone who couldn’t understand the unique allure of a snake’s tail could never love a Lamia. I, however, possessed excellent comprehension and empathy, so I could love them to my heart’s content.
On top of that, Lamias were originally an egg-laying race.
“This is fate. Sky-Leon. Thanks.”
-???
Sky-Leon, who had been lounging in the sky like someone floating on water, twisted his massive body as if to ask what on earth I was talking about. Cheonsol pointed at him in pure shock.
“Master. Did you not say that wild minions cannot perceive minions who have yet to sortie? That Sky-Leon is acting as though he has already seen the Mad Demon.”
“He’s from a race strong enough to show up as raid bosses all the time, so he’ll ignore little rules like that, right? Don’t worry! Our opponent is that Lamia!”
Sophia’s explanation must have reached more ears than just ours, because the Lamia finally opened her mouth.
“No wonder Sky-Leoon kept going on about a teest. Is that goddesss over there trying to make me her minionnn?”
“That way of talking feels familiar.”
A strange sense of déjà vu prickled at me. Where had I heard that speech style that dragged out the endings into a weird little rhythm?
“Similar to that arrogant Arachne who tried to snatch the Mad Demon.”
“Oh!”
Now that she mentioned it, it really was. Sophia added further explanation.
“Lamias and Arachne have been mortal enemies for generations. Even after the space age began they still can’t make peace and keep fighting local wars every now and then. They brawl so often their speech patterns start to match…”
“The goddesss is saying weird thiiings.”
The Lamia slammed her tail against the ground. Thud-thud—the earth caved in under the impact.
-That’s why I hate Lamias. The second they’re in a bad mood they go and scar the earth.
-They dig tunnels too, though not as deep as dwarves.
-A race even more unpleasant than Lirota.
The spirits clearly lacked any Lamia sensibility.
“Anyway, you want to make Naa-a, great warrior of the Sky-Leoon tribe, into your minion, riiight? Go ahead and tryyy!”
The Lamia thrust both arms high into the air.
-Ptooey
The trident Sky-Leon spat out buried itself deep in the ground. The force behind the spit was so tremendous that even the three-pronged head vanished completely underground.
The Lamia, striking a grand pose as she tried to yank the trident free, broke out in a cold sweat.
“This is Naa-a’s speaar!”
She abandoned the one-handed attempt and threw both hands plus her entire tail into the effort. Wrapping herself tightly around the shaft and grunting with all her might made her look thoroughly goofy.
“Dad…”
“You think the Lamia’s cute? Dad thinks so too. Declaring herself so majestically and then flailing because she can’t even pull out one spear makes her even cuter.”
“Mad Demon.”
I was so used to Evni that I could interpret her meaning from a single word, but Lan-lan-i’s required a moment of serious thought.
After factoring in her post-puberty personality, her interests, and everything she’d shown in the Minion’s Forest, the answer finally clicked.
“Dad doesn’t really know what Lamia blood tastes like either.”
“Really?!”
Lan-lan-i lit up with excessive joy. She was so delighted she started vigorously ruffling Evni’s hair.
“...”
The carefully arranged locks immediately turned into a mess, and Evni shot her sister a murderous glare. Lan-lan-i, riding high on the good mood I’d given her, didn’t seem to notice her little sister’s scorching stare at all.
“Then I’ll just have to beat her down myself and drink it! Master! Send Lan-lan-i out!”
“Huh? Can Lan-lan-i win?”
“Lan-lan-i will win!”
“Hmm. It’ll be good experience, right? Okay then…”
“Wait a minuteee!”
The Lamia shouted in sudden panic. She was so frantic that moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes.
“I-I’ve almost got it out. So just wait a little looonger.”
“Alright then. We’ll wait as long as you need.”
Sophia sent her a warm, gentle look. The Lamia probably couldn’t see it, but Cheonsol, the daughters, and I all wore the exact same expression.
After enough time had passed to steep a cup of tea, the spear finally came free.
Pop.
Tumble.
The moment the trident left the ground, the Lamia lost her balance and went rolling across the dirt. Her upper body ended up completely covered in soil.
Amazingly, not a single speck of foreign matter clung to her lower half.
“Uuuugh…”
Mortified, the Lamia hid her face behind the trident and sniffled. Sky-Leon, who had been watching with complete indifference, opened his mouth once more.
-A message from your sister.
“...”
From inside Sky-Leon’s maw, someone with a snake tail shouted with all her might. The distance was simply too great; nothing reached us.
“Sisteeer? I can’t heaar!”
“...”
“Sisteeer! I said I can’t heaar!”
The Lamia called out to her sister at the top of her lungs. Cheonsol turned to Sophia.
“Master. Is the Lamia race somewhat lacking in intelligence?”
“No… They’re smart enough to produce sages…”
“That one?”
“Even among humans you get people like Yohan, right? Lamias are probably the same.”
“That is an extremely rude remark.”
I bristled and shot back, but Sophia paid me zero attention.
“Well. That’s true.”
“Cheonsol. That really is a rude remark.”
“If you have complaints, correct your own conduct first.”
I was genuinely pissed, yet the facts had me so thoroughly beaten I couldn’t say another word. While I snorted and tried to swallow my anger, Evni tapped my leg.
“Dad…”
“Dad was cool even on ordinary days?”
“La-Lan-lan-i doesn’t think so? I never thought the Mad Demon was cool every single day?”
“Yeah. Thanks to you too, Lan-lan-i.”
I hadn’t perfectly decoded Lan-lan-i’s meaning, but I could tell she was trying to comfort me. Both daughters grinned happily.
In the meantime the Lamia, having given up on communicating with her sister, leveled the trident at us.
“Naa-a of the Sky-Leoon tribe! I challenge the goddess to battleee!”
“Huh? You don’t need us to wait anymore?”
“W-waiting?! There was never any such thiiing!”
She was so embarrassed she had decided to pretend the whole waiting episode never happened. I nodded and stepped forward. Sophia, Lan-lan-i, Cheonsol, Krista, and Lirota all stared at me in blank disbelief.
Only Evni’s eyes sparkled. Lulu had no eyes, so who knew.
Nod-nod!
“Yohan. Why are you coming out? Lan-lan-i’s the one who’s going to battle.”
“She formally challenged us to a battle. If we had sent Lan-lan-i out first it would be different, but from this moment on it became a battle that stakes Sophia-nim’s honor. Naturally the minion who has been with Sophia-nim the longest—her first believer and holy knight—should step forward to elevate the goddess’s honor.”
I wanted to impregnate that goofy Lamia who still hadn’t brushed the dirt off her cheeks. I wanted to wipe the sand from her breasts, stroke that sleek tail, and thrust deep inside her.
Sophia’s eyes went round. The bond between us, accumulated so deeply the system itself had quantified it as B-rank, flowed through our locked gazes.
“Yeah. No. Go back. Lan-lan-i’s doing the battle.”
“Ah, why?!”
“Seal the firetruck game and impregnating and then you can go out.”
“A dad shouldn’t snatch his daughter’s turn. It’s a shame, but I’ll yield.”
If impregnating was sealed there was no point in battling at all. Lan-lan-i looked completely dumbfounded.
“Mad Demon. Are you actually crazy?”
“Ahem. Calling your dad crazy, huh.”
“Lan-lan-i. Do you think the Mad Demon’s nickname is Mad Demon for nothing? Asking such an obvious question only tires your mouth. Do not waste energy before the battle—go.”
“Okay.”
Back on Earth I once saw a news piece claiming the reason test-tube babies had become more popular than natural childbirth was the collapse of patriarchal authority.
I’d thought it was complete nonsense even while solving it for an exam, yet now that it was my reality I felt it in my bones.
When a patriarch’s authority collapses, this is how thoroughly you get ignored. Fine—I’ll even start sleeping in separate rooms from Lan-lan-i. Before long I was going to herd all the kids into Lan-lan-i’s room and have a very thorough conversation with Cheonsol.