Elf Sisters and the Older Sister (3)
I sorted out the chaotic situation first. I sat the two goddesses down on the bench and called the minions over to the side.
"Mad Demon! Lan-lan-i wants a piggyback too! Lan-lan-i wants a piggyback ride!"
"I want a piggyback too!"
"Daddy's the best..."
The kids had completely forgotten the big-sister dispute and were clamoring for piggyback rides. Since Al-al-i refused to get down, I had no choice but to hang the kids from both arms.
"Hiyah! Mad Demon's arms are so solid!"
"Kyahaha!!"
"..."
Lan-lan-i and Evril dangled from my arms like I was some kind of amusement-park ride. Thank god for Iron Man. If I'd been an ordinary human dad, my shoulders would've popped right out of their sockets.
"You've got it rough."
Cheonsol wiped my face with a handkerchief. I hadn't even broken a sweat, so I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I decided to accept the gesture.
"Thanks."
"I can do that too, you know. Sylph. Blow a breeze for Yohan."
Whoooosh.
A gentle breeze brushed across my face. It was nowhere near spring, yet she'd somehow captured the exact feel of a spring wind. I suddenly wanted a spirit of my own.
Preferably a female Undine. She'd be made of water, so if I pumped her full of semen it would just swirl around inside her all soft and gooey, right?
Would sex with an Undine count as underwater sex? Or more like a water handjob?
"Mad Demon?"
"Anyway, you two get along."
"What on earth were you thinking all by yourself to come out with something so random? We already get along just fine."
Cheonsol clung to Evrande like they were best friends. Evrande looked a little uncomfortable but forced a smile.
"Mm. We get along great. But... is that where you live?"
Evrande pointed at the house Sophia had worked so hard to build. The interior had changed a lot, but from the outside it was still just a plain building with a double door, looking rather bare.
"Yeah."
"Sophia..."
Dohoyo suddenly shot Sophia a look of pure pity.
"If you've earned divinity, the first thing you should do is expand the house. Living space is important."
"It looks like that from the outside, but the inside is actually really nice! Yohan and Cheonsol's room is spacious, and Yohan even has a workshop!"
"A workshop?"
"Yohan's got craftsmanship talent."
Dohoyo's head snapped around to stare at me. Naked greed shone in her eyes.
"For real? He's got that broken Self-Healing skill, that... whatever perverted skill that beat Evrande, and craftsmanship on top of it?"
"He's even got Iron Man."
"Two talents? Wow, seriously..."
"Huh..."
It wasn't just Dohoyo. Evrande's older sister Ebria was impressed too.
"A human with two talents... and I hear he's packing two solid combat skills as well. Amazing. So that's why Evrande's completely head-over-heels."
"Oh my god, Unnie!"
"Giving her heart to some human with no pedigree whatsoever..."
"Unnie!!"
Evrande screeched at the top of her lungs. Sisters bickering was the same no matter where you went in the world.
"Heheheh."
"Sophia. Why are you grinning like that?"
"Yohan doesn't have two talents. He has... three!"
"Whoa..."
Dohoyo stuck her tongue out in disbelief.
"Even if you summoned him with a gacha ticket, can a minion with three talents and two combat skills even drop? Craftsmanship and Iron Man are top-tier talents. What's the last one?"
"Dynamic Visual Acuity!"
Even if they were friends, was it really okay to just hand over all my info like that? Then again, talent wasn't everything, so whatever.
If I hadn't been a hardcore gamer, I wouldn't have known how to fight and would've lost to Evrande for sure.
In the end it wasn't talent that decided strength—it was individual ability. All those years of living diligently had paid off.
"That's a decent talent too. Oh right—Evril is an outstanding minion as well. I was shocked when I checked her info."
"Really? How so?"
"Better to see it yourself than hear about it. Evril?"
"Yes!"
Evril, who had been clinging to my arm and nuzzling her face against it, answered energetically.
"Can you show us your spirit?"
"Lord Perku! Please come out!"
Blue electricity crackled through the empty air, and a woman of pure blue appeared. True to Dohoyo's family, her chest was tiny too.
Was there some kind of curse on that side's minions? There was no other explanation for every single member being flat-chested.
Perku gazed at Evril the way an auntie dotes on an unbearably cute niece.
-Our little Evril. What did you call me fo—
Perku's gaze stabbed sharply into me. Sparks of electricity popped around her body; she was clearly in a foul mood.
-Who are you?
"I'm Evril's dad. Is Lady Perku a spirit of electricity?"
-I am a spirit of lightning. Unlike those worthless spirits who haven't even earned a name, I am a spirit who has lived since ancient times. I am Perku.
Perku soared into the air and hurled a thunderbolt into the black void of the Divine Realm.
Wasting power just for a self-introduction... She was the type who loved to show off.
Having a spirit like that stuck to Evril's side couldn't be good for her education. I called Evrande over for a warning.
"Evrande."
"Isn't she amazing? She was only just born and she's already contracted an upper-rank spirit! My spirit affinity wasn't bad, but Evril is a genuine genius!"
"I'm more worried about Evril getting electrocuted."
-What did you say?
Perku shoved her face right up to mine before Cheonsol blocked her. The irritated spirit crackled with electricity.
-You think I'd hurt the child? I can control that much just fine.
"Auntie Perku! Isn't our daddy cool?"
Evril suddenly started bragging about me out of nowhere. Perku forced a compliment through a sour expression.
-W-well, yes. No spirit scent, but... he is human. Still, for a human, his face is decent enough.
"Thank you?"
"Okay, bye-bye!"
Evril reverse-summoned Perku.
"Why'd you send her back?"
"I want to play with Daddy more!"
My daughter was so adorable I started swinging my arms wildly. Evril spun like a windmill, squealing with delight.
"Mad Demon! Me too! Do me too!"
"Uracha!!"
"Daddy..."
"Our Al-al-i is an airplane! Bwooooosh~"
"Waaah...!"
I ran around the garden with the kids in my arms and they all went wild with joy. Cheonsol and Evrande, who had been trailing after me in a panic, snatched the kids the moment I stopped.
"Is that not dangerous?!"
"Mommy. Lan-lan-i wants to play with Mad Demon more!"
"If you cling too much, Mad Demon will get tired. Come rest a little in this lady's arms."
"Mommy will hold Evril too."
"Okay!"
Al-al-i, who had monopolized me, happily yanked on my hair. Meanwhile Sophia started bragging about Lan-lan-i.
"Our Lan-lan-i is no slouch either. She inherited Yohan's Iron Man plus Cheonsol's Blood Seed? And she's got three skills!"
"Three? Evril inherited your Yohan's Self-Healing."
"Really? Lan-lan-i got Self-Healing too!"
What the hell. Was Self-Healing actually some trash skill? It was A-rank and every minion who saw it called it broken, so I thought it was rare. Disappointing.
Lan-lan-i, who had clearly understood the praise, crossed her arms and lifted her chin.
"Ahem!"
"Hawa..."
Evrande and Ebria both gasped in admiration.
"She's not quite on Evril's level, but she's really cute too."
"No way! Lan-lan-i is the cutest in the whole world! Master and Mommy too! Mad Demon said Lan-lan-i is cute!"
"We'll have to teach her honorifics."
"I know how to use honorifics."
Evril spoke politely and wore a winner's smile.
"That's why I'm the big sister."
"Nuh-uh! Evril should use honorifics with Lan-lan-i!"
The kids launched back into the big-sister argument while Al-al-i yanked my hair again.
What was she so unhappy about? I set her down and checked her expression, and then I understood.
"Lady Sophia. We should check Al-al-i's info too."
"Ah, right."
Al-al-i's face lit up. She was so cute I ruffled her hair vigorously.
"Next time just say so."
"But... it's embarrassing..."
"Daddy's always on Al-al-i's side, so it's okay."
"Daddy...!"
Smack.
Al-al-i gave me a cheek kiss. Even the super-affectionate Lan-lan-i had never kissed my cheek!
"Our Al-al-i!"
"Hieee..."
I hugged her tight in pure emotion and she went limp and dazed. Cheonsol watched with open envy.
"Lan-lan-i. Won't you give this lady a kiss on the cheek?"
"Okay!"
"Evril."
"Okay!"
Smack. Smack.
The mothers who received their daughters' cheek kisses looked blissfully happy. Having received one first, I understood completely.
I used to think the world would turn pink, my chest would get so full it ached, and nothing could feel better than sex—but I was wrong.
A daughter's affection was sex.
"I checked. Is it because she's Yohan's kid? Lan-lan-i was great, but Al-al-i is no joke either."
"What is it?"
"Seeing is believing."
Amazing. Lady Sophia just used an actual proverb. Truly amazing.
A huge screen appeared and everyone crowded around to look. Even Cheonsol and Evrande, who normally hated sticking close, and Lan-lan-i and Evril, who had been bickering, pressed right up against each other without fighting.
Common topics really do bring people together. Feeling warm and fuzzy, I checked Al-al-i's information.
Name:Al-al-i
Race:Half-Elf
Level Correction:Stage 1
Talents:Craftsmanship, Spiritkin (Earth)
Skills:Self-Healing (A), Enchantment (A)
"Ddoga Healing!"
I'd had three kids so far, and all three of them had Self-Healing. At this point I had to start suspecting probability manipulation.
Even if two of my skills couldn't be inherited, how did every single one of them end up with this?
"Ddoga Healing...?"
"Our Al-al-i got Daddy's skill! So happy!"
"Me too..."
While I was covering for my slip of the tongue, the elves beside me were in shock.
"Spiritkin?!"
"Is that a good talent?"
"Evril is a Lightning-attribute Spiritkin! I thought Evrande's Spirit Affinity had simply blossomed in Evril's generation. But no. You... I mean, my brother-in-law's Iron Man combined with it and evolved the affinity into an extreme talent!"
I completely missed the explanation because of the title she used for me.
"Brother-in-law?"
"You're my little sister's husband, so of course you're my brother-in-law. Don't tell me you're not?"
"Of course not. I am her husband."
If I said no, Evrande looked like she might cry, so I confirmed it. And I didn't even mind. Why would I hate the elf who took my virginity?
"Hmph."
Cheonsol, who had been studying Al-al-i's status window intently, let out a nasal hum and suddenly yanked my arm. Then she buried it deep between her cleavage.
"Husband. This lady doesn't know much about spirits, but I can tell it's something impressive."
"Mommy, why? He's Mad Demon—why are you calling him Husband?"
"The person Mommy married is called Husband."
"I wanna call him that too! Mad Demon Husband!"
Lan-lan-i wriggled free of her mother's arms and started competing with Al-al-i for position, grunting with effort. Al-al-i held out for a bit before yielding a little space to Lan-lan-i.
But why was Evrande rubbing up against me? Was she trying to appeal with her chest like Cheonsol?
"Evrande..."
"W-what?"
"Never mind..."
Evrande was pretty, and she was an elf, so a smaller chest was fine.
"Why are you like that?!"
"Fighting?"
I got a solid smack on the back from an angry Evrande. I was cheering her on and she still got mad. No wonder her chest was small with a temper like that.