Winning Streak Path (3)

I already knew the world of the gods — beings of universal scale — was nothing like twenty-second-century Earth. But most of the gods I'd seen in battle so far had been humanoid, so I'd figured I'd only ever run into more of the same.

Beep-beep-beep.

The robot god, however, wasn't even humanoid. The artificial intelligence from that classic robot movie The Terminator at least had a human head. This thing looked like a clump of metal scraps loosely woven together into something resembling diatomaceous earth.

Its minion, on the other hand, was the textbook giant robot straight out of a mecha film. Whether from the Level 1 nerf or not, it wasn't as massive as the 63 Building — but it was about the same size as a giantified Kuangkuang.

Looking at that solid-looking exoskeleton, the arsenal of weapons, and even the thrusters on its back, I had a feeling it could take Kuangkuang head-on and win.

"I never thought we'd actually run into Shinpago…"

My ears — decorative though they might have looked — caught Sophia's muttering. Humans have two ears. I snagged Cheonsol's private grumbling as well.

"What in the world is that supposed to be? How does a mechanical construct move about as if it were alive?"

"Lady Sophia. An explanation, if you would."

"Mm-hmm."

Sophia wiped her sweat on her clothes and launched into it.

"Shinpago is the god of mechanical civilizations. Machines pursue reason and efficiency, so they don't really believe in gods — which makes it hard for a racial deity to be born. But the possibilities of the universe are always open, so things like that show up."

"So basically an SSR character with a 0.01% appearance rate."

"This lady cannot comprehend Master and Mad Demon's explanation."

"How do I put machines… Think of it as what happens when a mechanical construct evolves."

"The evolution of the inanimate… Truly terrifying."

Cheonsol showed a flicker of genuine dread.

"Do machines have blood?"

"No. If that minion were a living creature piloting a mecha, sure — but that thing is a mechanical lifeform itself."

The question had been aimed at me, but Sophia answered, and Cheonsol hurriedly raised her speech register.

"Is that so. Then it is my natural counter."

"Not just Cheonsol — it's a counter to psychics and any minion without long-range attack skills. Robots fly, after all. There have been a few league champions among the gods of mechanical civilizations, and their minions still hold a top-tier meta position."

"Kuhahahahahaha!!!"

Everyone else had flesh-and-blood bodies, and then a metal lump suddenly dropped in — no wonder it sat at the top of the meta.

Even if you blew its head off, it probably wouldn't die. So how do you neutralize that thing? Disassemble the machine? Or yank out the chip stuck in the back of its head?

— Trainer SexyNewbie. Are you currently challenging a ten-win streak?

While I was lost in thought, Shinpago addressed Sophia. Our pure-hearted goddess nearly jumped out of her skin.

"How did you know?"

— Ambiguous sentence. Answering all interpretations. Shinpago resides in communities ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for big data collection. Reads every post on the newbie board. The enhanced bronze ring worn by the male minion. Equipment matches the post uploaded by 'SexyNewbie,' whom this unit has been monitoring for 'Deception' data learning.

Sophia sank to the floor on the spot and buried her face between her breasts. If any other woman did that, her face would end up between her knees — but those tits were so magnificent that this was the result.

"Mad Demon…"

Cheonsol whispered carefully.

"Is Master's moniker truly SexyNewbie?"

"Yep."

"This lady had assumed it was a man's mockery. The proverb comes to mind — one may know the depths of a thousand-fathom river, yet never the heart of a single person. Truly flustering."

"Still suits her, though, right?"

Cheonsol glanced at the cleavage spilling out between Sophia's arms and nodded. Mm-hmm. Tits so spectacular that men and women alike couldn't help but marvel. Those very breasts were my goddess.

— Second answer. Shinpago has also achieved nine consecutive wins. Special rewards reset at ten consecutive wins. Matching gods of equal rank for competition is rational.

"For an AI, it sure explains things well. Could give a top-tier instructor a run for their money."

"A one-strike strong scholar? Does that mean a scholar who fells his opponent in a single blow?"

"Uh… scholar's not wrong. Close enough."

I couldn't be bothered to explain and just waved it off.

"Strong enough to slap even such a mighty foe across the face. This lady's competitive spirit is boiling."

"It's a hard counter matchup."

"A woman must ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sometimes fight even knowing she will lose."

Total tough-girl mindset. Cheonsol was looking pretty cool right now. Though in our world, that wasn't a tough girl — that was a tough guy.

"Nah. I'll handle this. Lady Sophia. Snap out of it."

"Uugh… A machine god with neither blood nor tears after all… Launching a mental attack before the battle even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠starts…"

"When?"

It had only stated facts without a single cutting insult. That's why you shouldn't have named yourself SexyNewbie in the first place. Sophia reaped what she sowed.

"What do you mean, when?!"

"Lady Sophia, you actually are sexy. That's why you picked SexyNewbie as your nickname, right?"

"It was originally a different nickname, but Dohoyo changed it on her own! She said she wouldn't lend me the account if I changed it back, so I had no choice!"

Dohoyo had a good eye and a mischievous streak. Then again — with a chest as flat as asphalt, of course she'd want to tease Sophia for having the massive rack she herself never got.

— SexyNewbie. Sufficient time has been allotted for strategy conference. Do not waste any more time. This is a warning.

"Kuhahahahahaha!!"

Sophia lifted her head at the message. Whoa — the imprint of her own cleavage was stamped across her face.

"Yohan… can you win?"

"Of course."

"You've never fought a robot before."

"I'd never fought elves, vampirs, or dwarves either, and that was the same deal. And strictly speaking, this isn't even my first time."

Virtual reality had robot fighting tournaments alongside fantasy combat games. On the unrestricted space maps, I'd just run around lobbing beam sabers and bombs.

I'd been the reason they added maximum movement zone restrictions to the space maps — but even without cheesing it, I'd climbed to ranker status.

Of course, that was while piloting a robot. Barehanded was a first, but I'd figure something out.

"Trust me."

I said it so casually and coolly that Cheonsol was impressed.

"Lan-lan-i. Albata. Your father is truly magnificent."

"Yohan…"

Sophia squeezed my hand tight.

"I want to open a bronze chest…"

"Then I'll go win one for you."

The moment I was summoned to the center of the Colosseum, a bullet passed straight through my body.

"Kuhahahahahaha!!!"

"Don't freak out! Before the battle starts, nothing you do actually lands! They're just shooting to seize the initiative!"

— Beep. Denial. Due to the minion nerf, only the combat algorithm is operational. Stupid RB-01 cannot distinguish between pre-battle and post-battle states.

Even as Shinpago made excuses, bullets kept whistling past. This was actually kind of fun. Felt exactly like a magic show. If I debuted this as "Bullet-Through-Body Magic" back on Earth, I could probably win Korea's Got Talent.

Though I'd get arrested for illegal firearms possession first.

"Kuhahahahahaha!!!"

"Is laughing all you can do?"

"Kuhahaha!!"

"Shinpago. This robot's broken — can I get a refund?"

— Is that a joke?

"Yep."

— Humor data learning. Expressing gratitude.

Of all the gods I'd met so far, this one seemed the most normal? Wait — not human, so normal machine? Normal artificial intelligence?

"Yes! My name is Normal God! Same backwards — Normal God!"

— Humor data learning.

"That's not humor data, that's insanity data…"

"Ahem! Lady Sophia! Quiet, please! That was my killer gag!"

— Anger data learning.

If only Shinpago had been a stacked female android instead of a metal lump. Conversing was more fun than expected.

Sophia must have sensed the goodwill I was developing toward Shinpago, because she hurriedly shouted:

"Start the battle!"

— Anger data, second learning cycle. Transitioning to combat data learning phase.

"Kuhahaha!!"

Ratatatatatatata—

The second it started, I sprinted, dodging bullets. Fuck. This goddamn Colosseum. What kind of map has zero cover? I had to run my ass off just to stay alive.

"Kuhahahahaha!!!"

That machine gun of his didn't seem to overheat at all — it just kept pouring out a rain of bullets. I took a few hits on purpose to test whether Iron Man could tank them. My skin got pierced.

"I thought bullets didn't hurt if you took them gently!"

The bones were fine, but I was bleeding! I kept running without stopping, and RB-01 changed its firing pattern.

While the machine gun on its right arm kept blazing, the laser pointer on its left arm locked onto me. Magical energy visible to the naked eye gathered in that left arm.

Even if you weren't an SF fan, you'd know what that meant.

"Robots do Evande laser beams too? Crossing the line for real."

I could barely dodge the bullets — how was I supposed to dodge an optical weapon that was way faster? I raised my sword and braced for impact. Unavoidable attacks get blocked.

"That's the foundation of defense!!!"

I swung my blade into the laser that filled my vision in an instant.

"I am the man who cuts light!"

The sword was swallowed by the laser. Cut light, my ass. Didn't do a damn thing.